Thread: Self-bans are bullshit

I'm taking off my mod hat here for a moment to speak my mind like a human being. Let's see if this Rant forum is what it is.

I just went through a stupid exercise called a self-ban and it was pure bullshit. Ya know, I have probably 50 to 60 logins and passwords for as many websites from over the last ten years where I just stopped going to those sites without deleting the accounts. For whatever reasons, I just stopped going to them. A few accounts I deleted from the websites for administration closure but most of them, I just walked away. Never went back, never logged in again. So what.

So if you got a beef with someone here, work it out like a adult with that guy. But, if you can't navigate your shit, and you are so fed up that you decide you will never come back here, then just fucking act like a stoic John Wayne and walk away. Do a ghost. I'm sure other guys have. If you are that mad to leave forever, why the fuck do you need me to prevent you from coming back. Just... GO. Don't hang around and snipe at me and be pissy on some pretense that I have to ban you before you can ignore us forever just so you can make your splashy Rockette exit in front of an audience. That's bullshit. I just got played by this puerility. You know what, I don't go for that shit.

I see the end of this rant coming so before I put my mod hat back on, here's the deal with me. If you merely want to terminate your account for administrative closure and have no attendant drama to spew around, I am happy to do it. I've done one recently, it was cool. But, if you are so mad about something that you want to go away forever, then just fucking mean it and go away. Live your conviction and go. Don't be a girl about it, FFS, and use me as your emotional tampon. You don't need me to ban you so you and others can throw shade my way for it. If you're that mad, then say fuck it to your registration, and just leave it. Fuck. And then I get to pick up on residual drama about how maybe I should be the bigger guy and chase after you to ask you to come back. That's more fucking bullshit. That was my first self-ban as mod and it's my fucking last one, too. As far as I'm involved on future self-bans the guy's account can stay open if no TOS violation and he can just bear the manly responsibility of staying away.

Now maybe there's a life-and-death reason why someone just has to ban themselves with the snide comments in the celebrity spotlight so I'll hear what anyone has to say on that but it better be good. Y'all now know where I stand on this self-ban bullshit.

Hat on, rant off.

No one is being forced to log on to this website (as far as I know), therefore your reasoning is correct. Self bans and requests for self bans are simply efforts to seek attention and generate drama. We, as men, should be better than that.

Interesting. As someone who has left many forums over the years I am a firm believer that forums should have a delete account function to offer their members that easy way out. Just as clubs in real life that you can stop being a member of when you choose to.

Working stuff out with people on forums? Meh, been there done that. It usually doesn't work, in fact it never works. You have so many cliques on these sites and the staff of the sites tend to be power hungry losers who love to throw the little bit of power they have around the place. In short you can't win. I have even been banned from sites while still in the midst of writing PM's to the moderator! So yeah, I have very little faith in these forums and how they are run.

I have lurked a little on this site in the past few days and saw some of the self ban threads. They seemed reasonable to me, what I did notice however was pride being hurt on the part of the moderator. A kind of "how dare they leave our forum" kind of thing. Something which I am getting from this thread as well.

One of the self ban threads the member was being attacked as they were trying to get out the door! What is the big deal if people want to leave? I have seen just as many get rejected membership from your group because their "Intro's" didn't measure up to your hopes and expectations!

Originally Posted by Alien

Interesting. As someone who has left many forums over the years I am a firm believer that forums should have a delete account function to offer their members that easy way out. Just as clubs in real life that you can stop being a member of when you choose to.

Working stuff out with people on forums? Meh, been there done that. It usually doesn't work, in fact it never works. You have so many cliques on these sites and the staff of the sites tend to be power hungry losers who love to throw the little bit of power they have around the place. In short you can't win. I have even been banned from sites while still in the midst of writing PM's to the moderator! So yeah, I have very little faith in these forums and how they are run.

I have lurked a little on this site in the past few days and saw some of the self ban threads. They seemed reasonable to me, what I did notice however was pride being hurt on the part of the moderator. A kind of "how dare they leave our forum" kind of thing. Something which I am getting from this thread as well.

One of the self ban threads the member was being attacked as they were trying to get out the door! What is the big deal if people want to leave? I have seen just as many get rejected membership from your group because their "Intro's" didn't measure up to your hopes and expectations!

Hi Alien,

What a peculiar situation here, as this is your first post, and in a rant that was mine, so as mod here is what I have for you, before any other response.

New members do not always know of our requirement to provide an Intro for our members to learn about you. But, you do?

Please visit our "New Member Intros" sub-forum as soon as possible and read the sticky "How To Intro". Then, in that sub-forum, create a new thread to be your Intro and tell us about yourself, following the three numbered discussion topics found in that sticky.

The Intro is your chance to show our membership that you are not a woman, a troll, or a trouble-maker. Therefore, we advise that you do not cut corners or be brief in your Intro or else it will waste your time and ours. To clarify, we are seeking your personal experiences and not philosophy or opinions of the manosphere, etc. as you respond to the three numbered topics.

A valid Intro is a requirement on this site and everyone had to do one. We look forward to reading yours.

Thank you.

I saw the intro board, I saw the many, many bans due to failed intro's as judged by yourselves.

So if I write a creative intro does that prove me as male and MGTOW? If I lack those literary skills that does that mean I'm not?

Originally Posted by Alien

I saw the intro board, I saw the many, many bans due to failed intro's as judged by yourselves.

So if I write a creative intro does that prove me as male and MGTOW? If I lack those literary skills that does that mean I'm not?

Write a responsible Intro and find out! Why start playing games here? If you are not going to write an Intro, say so here and now. No games, no trolling. Don't make my case for me.

Originally Posted by Unboxxed

Write a responsible Intro and find out! Why start playing games here? If you are not going to write an Intro, say so here and now. No games, no trolling. Don't make my case for me.

I saw how you treated the member who wanted a self ban. It was disgraceful and now you even rant about it like a hurt woman. Why would I want to share anything about myself with you? And how would you know if it is true or a great work of fiction anyway?

I suggest you guys take a good look at your expectations here and stop labeling anyone who challenges you a troll just because you can't see the big picture.

Originally Posted by Alien

I saw how you treated the member who wanted a self ban. It was disgraceful and now you even rant about it like a hurt woman. Why would I want to share anything about myself with you? And how would you know if it is true or a great work of fiction anyway?

I suggest you guys take a good look at your expectations here and stop labeling anyone who challenges you a troll just because you can't see the big picture.

You and I are on two different wavelengths. Far from being emotional, I am processing you dispassionately. Intros are a requirement here. I am uninterested in entertaining you if an Intro is not the next thing I see from you.

We have a sub-forum called Opposing Views where you are more than welcome to continue your expression. One needs no registration to post there.

Going twice...

Originally Posted by Unboxxed

You and I are on two different wavelengths. Far from being emotional, I am processing you dispassionately. Intros are a requirement here. I am uninterested in entertaining you if an Intro is not the next thing I see from you.

We have a sub-forum called Opposing Views where you are more than welcome to continue your expression. One needs no registration to post there.

Going twice...

You are an angry little woman who gets off on this little piece of power you have. You are not dispassionate at all.

Now go on then, ban me! Get your little power fix for the day little woman, get your power fix! Feel better now do you Missy?

You are a fool if you think this site is making any difference to men's lives. And if you think banning me means anything to me.

But I know it will mean a lot to you Princess.

Originally Posted by Alien

You are an angry little woman who gets off on this little piece of power you have. You are not dispassionate at all.

Now go on then, ban me! Get your little power fix for the morning little woman, get your power fix! Feel better now do you?

The only angry language I see is from you. Compliance with site rules is my only interest. I know you want me to spar with you. Get your same-sex needs satisfied with someone else, guy. I'm not the one.

If you had been lurking for any appreciable amount of time on this site you would know that procuring an Intro is my primary interest above all other distractions. It was a major reason why I was invited to become a Mod. That, and a certain propensity for navigation. So now you know.

Your issues are actually with the site Principles, but I get to be your punching bag today. If you had written an Intro, this would have gone in a very different and, I would have hoped, positive direction.

The emotion you perceive shows me the emotion you bring.

If you like, let's continue this discussion over in Opposing Views. If you ask nicely there, maybe I will wear a dress for you while we chat so you can feel more powerful. <-- that's me not being dispassionate


And..... Gone.

I agree it's best to just walk away. I did that a couple years ago at a technical web site whose mods weren't doing their job calling out unqualified contributors offering incorrect/misleading advice. I did the same on another forum several months ago. The mods were letting pissing contests go on and on and on... Most times, the one person who clearly knew what he was talking about would get swamped with abusive replies from no-nothings who were never shy about demonstrating how little knowledge they possessed on the topic being discussed. The mods never intervened, just sat back with beer and popcorn. Sometimes I go back and check some of the advice being given to people who are looking for good, solid guidance based on technical merit, and the advice is usually (and predictably) over the top in terms of wrongness, same as always. What a laugh. If proof of competence were required to post, some of those tech forums would be out of business.

I like the way this place is run. I feel at home here.

Some folks just do not have the courage to own their actions. They need affirmation or someone else to do it for them. I agree, self bans are silly unless they want to legally distance themselves from their own posts and turn the page.

There was another forum I was on a few years back and I was suspected of being a troll, or woman, or something. It turned in to a free for all 'bar fight'. In the end, I left in a huff. One of the members said, "I'll get him back". He had my number and called me(he was the only one I'd given my number to). We talked and after that everything was fine. But the bar fights at that site continued with others. It wasn't very well moderated and eventually morphed into someplace I just don't bother with anymore. The internet is a communication medium. If one can't communicate with others, the internet isn't much of a medium. That's their problem, not ours. If all one wants to do is piss and moan about how tuff life is, who wants to read that all the time? I'm here to make connections with people of a like mind and that's what I've been doing. Reciprocating with attention for others isn't a 'cry for help' or an attention seeking device. It's just human nature to interact with each other. Sometimes the mods here are too quick to jump on something they think might turn sour. As if we all need a den mother to behave ourselves. I'm a man and I've been thrown out of nicer places than this. So, if I cross someone's line I hear about it right away...not days later through the grapevine. I like that. What I don't like is a newbie showing up and getting lambasted for lacking literary skills. I know why it's done, it's how it is being done that chaps my hide sometimes. That's my two cents.