When I first moved to where I now live I knew no-one. It took a bit of time and effort but I eventually made a few friends, but I didn’t know if I could trust them; after all I knew practically nothing of their histories, and they were as curious about mine as I was about theirs.
So I tried an experiment. Perhaps foolishly, but I kinda needed to know if these were actual friends or just drinking buddies. I like to know who I can rely on to keep my private info private.
So, after knowing them for a year or so and having built up some confidential repartee I decided to test just how confidential this repartee was.
I told each of my new friends, some men & some women, a different “secret”, one that if true, would be considered gossip worthy, but nothing criminal. These “secrets” were all made up.
I imagined the scene: “Hey, did you hear this about the new guy Jackoff. He did so and so. I know because he told me himself. I swear it’s true.”
This was many years ago and the details are a bit vague. I can’t even remember the stories that I started about myself but what I do remember is that each and every one of these stories eventually made its way back to me.
So much for friendships and confidentiality!
Needless to say I stopped thinking of them as friends and no longer associate with any of them. I’ll say “Hi” if I pass them on the street, but that’s about the height of my interaction with them.
I have other “friends” now, but now I know to trust them only so far.
There is only one way to keep a secret – TELL NO-ONE!
This, as my story demonstrates, applies to men just as much as women. I had always suspected this from past experience, but maybe people were different here; their general personalities were certainly different to those of where I hailed from.
This was very duplicitous of me and I accept that, but I was alone in a new town and I needed to know for sure.
Now I know.