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  1. #1

    SATIRE: Rioters Flee In Terror As Kyle Rittenhouse Emerges From Courthouse With AR-15

    "KENOSHA, WI—As the Rittenhouse trial drew to a close, Antifa rioters were preparing their violent destruction of the city. But their plans were quickly foiled as Rittenhouse emerged from the courthouse a free man, AR-15 in hand.

    "The jig is up! Scatter!" cried the terrified commie orcs as they skittered toward shadowy alleyways like cockroaches. "The Rittenhouse has returned! Judgment is upon us! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!"

    "Waaaaaaaaa!" Cried the prosecuting attorneys, knowing their careers were over forever. "We're ruined! Ruined by the unstoppable power of Kyle Rittenhouse!"

    Rittenhouse then appeared to descend the courthouse steps in slow motion, surrounded by a flock of doves and a heavenly golden light. At the terrifying sight, hundreds of Antifa fairies and murderous pedophiles shrieked in terror like a den of goblins, crawling into various holes and cracks in the earth , , , :



    SATIRE (Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
    Commenters: Chuck Norris wants to be Kyle Rittenhouse!

    When Kyle Rittenhouse walks in a room, his dick has already been there for 3 minutes!





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  2. #2
    Senior Member mgtower's Avatar
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    re: SATIRE: Rioters Flee In Terror As Kyle Rittenhouse Emerges From Courthouse With AR-15

    Can you say deformation? Millions of dollars?

    Can you say Young Rittenhouse's law team suing all the media outlets that slandered his righteous upstanding name and fine character?

    I know you can...

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    Rule #401. First you eat the dogs, then you eat the dogfood.

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    Senior Member Resdayn's Avatar
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    re: SATIRE: Rioters Flee In Terror As Kyle Rittenhouse Emerges From Courthouse With AR-15

    Man I'm really glad the kid was acquitted of everything they tried to pin on him. Love watching the aftermath on various forums, especially the intense crying of the loonie lefties, hahaha
    Lord Nerevar Reborn

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    Administrator Unboxxed's Avatar
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    Re: SATIRE: Rioters Flee In Terror As Kyle Rittenhouse Emerges From Courthouse With AR-15

    This one, too, also satire from the Babylon Bee:


    Liberals Accuse Rittenhouse Of Trying To Avoid Punishment Through Legal Loophole Known As 'Trial'

    KENOSHA, WI—Leftists are sounding the alarm that Kyle Rittenhouse—a notorious slayer of white communist pedophiles—may escape punishment through a little-known legal loophole known as a "trial."

    "This is very concerning," said Chip Cordray, progressive legal expert covering the case. "Using this obscure loophole, Rittenhouse's fate will be decided by an impartial jury of peers based on evidence, rather than the whims of noble communist revolutionaries on Twitter—such as Bette Midler and Joe Biden."
    Experts confirm that if Rittenhouse is found "not guilty," liberals won't be getting their way, which could lead to massive temper-tantrums, such as arson and looting.

    "We can't let this happen," said Cordray. "It's time to talk about closing the 'trial' loophole so that justice can be done according to the whims of the leftist mob, as our founding fathers intended."
    The two most important days in your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why. - Mark Twain

    The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.
    - Henry David Thoreau

    There are 10 types of people in the world - those who understand binary, and those who don't.

    Suitable for bookmarking: www.fakehatecrimes.org and www.breitbart.com/tag/hate-crime-hoax

  5. #5
    Senior Member ResidentEvil7's Avatar
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    Re: SATIRE: Rioters Flee In Terror As Kyle Rittenhouse Emerges From Courthouse With AR-15

    I like it when liberals cry. I hydrate myself on liberal tears.
    It's a man's world and we need to take it by the throat and make it give us what we desire.

  6. #6
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    Re: SATIRE: Rioters Flee In Terror As Kyle Rittenhouse Emerges From Courthouse With AR-15

    Any credibility that the mainstream media had left has been blown away by their coverage of Kyle Rittenhouse. Social media had already judged him guilty and made sure that he couldn't raise money for his defense. Now that the verdict is in they are exposed as persecuting an innocent man. I hope he sues them out of business.


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