Thread: My Dad Had A Heart Attack Last Night

Last night, around 10:15, my dad knocked on my door. At first I thought he was going to tell me that he won that Mega Millions Jackpot (which was drawn just 15 minutes sooner and the winner is in Illinois), but he said he's feeling chest pains that wouldn't go away and is going to the nearby fire department. We both, at first, thought it was the virus, so I didn't think too much of it. So he drove himself down to the fire department. 2 hours in and I started trying to call him and text him so I know what's going on and he wouldn't answer, which started to make me nervous.

At about 5:30 this morning, I called the fire department and the guy told me that they took my dad to the hospital across town due to heart pains. I'm starting to think something isn't right. At 10:00 this morning, my aunt calls me and tells me that my dad's suffered a heart attack and they're doing surgery on his heart. I don't know why I'm so calm; maybe because he didn't seem that bad of shape when he left last night and the fact he drove himself to the fire department.

Then after 12:00 noon, I called my mom (his ex-wife since 1994) and she's worried sick about the both of us and wants to help, but what can she do? She wanted to pick me up and take me to her house, but I said "no, I need to take care of the cat and the house during this time." She agreed, but she's still worried.

Around 2:15 this afternoon, I called my aunt, asking what the update is on my dad. She said that he's in a medically-induced coma so his heart stables, then the doctor's will do a bypass surgery. I asked her will he survive and she said that he WILL, but will be there for a while. She said to help out that I should take care of the cat, his pond, his gardens and the rest of the house while he's in the hospital.

It's now 3:40 PM and now I'm just sitting around all alone at home waiting for the next call on what's going on with him.

MGTOW, please pray for my dad's recovery, because I don't want to lose him; I can't afford to lose him as long as I can't find a job and my supplement business only got 1 sale in the past 5 weeks.

Sorry to hear that, RE7, my condolences and prayers, hope everything goes well with a full recovery.

My thoughts are with you and your dad my friend.

Heart surgery is a big one, but one that is well understood by surgeons. They know what they're doing.

I've known many that have undergone similar treatments. They survived and their lives have even improved afterwards.

Take solace in this.

I'm sorry to hear this, ResidentEvil7, and yes I will pray for your dad. Keep us posted.

UPDATE:
My aunt came by an hour ago and she told me that my dad is in a medical coma until Monday when his heart stables, but he has major clots in his arteries. They'll do an open-heart surgery Monday. Hopefully, they'll release him in a week. Until Monday, there's nothing further that can be done, except my aunt will call me tomorrow, because she's been at the hospital there waiting.

As far as I'm going, I'm hanging in there, but this isn't easy. I've done household chores, fed my cat, cleaned up after the cat, watered his plants and his pond. Pretty much struggling to figure out what to do, which isn't easy, because I don't know what to do! I feel helpless. I just talked to my mom on the phone and she told me that I ought to be proud of myself considering on how well I'm taking things and doing things around the house so that when my dad comes home in a week, he won't have anything to worry about. I should feel proud, but right now I don't know what to feel.

Originally Posted by ResidentEvil7

right now I don't know what to feel.

Understandable. I think it is important to express yourself, as you need and at your own pace. Do you have friends or acquaintances you can call? They may feel appreciative to know you thought of them at this time and maybe they will give you some emotional support in return. Consider reaching out to them as you did to us.

Originally Posted by Unboxxed

Understandable. I think it is important to express yourself, as you need and at your own pace. Do you have friends or acquaintances you can call? They may feel appreciative to know you thought of them at this time and maybe they will give you some emotional support in return. Consider reaching out to them as you did to us.

Yes, I've talked to my best friend 3 times since 5:30 this morning, my mom a few times and my aunt who is at the hospital. My other aunt and uncle who lives in Florida can relate to what I'm going through, because my uncle survived 4 heart attacks since he was 35 in 1995, one of which happened on Christmas Day one year.

You can fill some time with lots of prayer, don't forget.

God doesn't mind repetition.

Well, everyone I have contact with knows about what's been going on with my dad and me being without him during this time, and they're all willing to help out any way they can, especially my mom. So it looks like we have a lot of family and my best friend on board to help us.

Prayers sent.
Hoping all goes well.
He'll appreciate you taking care of chores and other business at home.

To keep my time and mind busy, my mom and stepfather came out and spent a few hours with me here. We went out to a Mediterranean style restaurant where I had a chop salad with extra chicken. Then we went downtown to the Farmer's Market, but found nothing to get since it's over priced fruit and vegetables ($7 for a pint of blueberries), then we shared 2 bottles of fruit wine and then some ice cream and she took me home.

I called my best friend back since he tried to call while I was out and talked for about 40 minutes and now I'm here while watching Indy and The Temple Of Doom on Paramount TV.

My dad's heart attack has become a wake up call about both our health. He would bring home fast food for Saturday night's movie; then grill meats like sausage and burgers and hot dogs for Sundays. But that's all going to stop. Even before this episode, I've been eating more fruits and vegetables, lean meats and cheese and milk. I don't know what the doctor's are going to tell him what kind of diet he'll be on, but he better follow it and he better give up the beer.

What I know is this, the open-heart surgery will be some time tomorrow when his heart stables.

I hope your dad recovers well and fast. If you have too much spare time, grab a book or something and visit him. He may be in a coma, but you can still show him that he is not alone, talk to him or just be there and read. While being in the hospital, you also would be able to talk with his doctors and get information from them. My best wishes to you and your dad!

My aunt gave me the latest update a few hours ago. She told me that my dad briefly woke up today, but he's back to being asleep. The doctors are VERY hopeful that they can take him off the medications in a few days, then they'll take him to another nearby hospital where they'll do the open-heart surgery. It looks like he's not coming home for 2 weeks now.

I'm taking care of him through taking care of the house, the plants, the garden, the pond and feeding the cat and fish. So I'm taking care of things here. You know, even though his vacation 2 weeks ago was canceled and I wasn't going to have the house to myself with my best friend, but now I have the house to myself for 2 weeks, but this wasn't the way I wanted it. I wanted him to go on a fishing trip to Wisconsin before, but instead he's in the hospital.

Dude, I know I should be sensible, but have you even visited him since this happened? I don't know if you fully get it, but he seriously could have died and this is not a joke. My dad died on a stroke. One day he was here and joking around, on the other day, poof, gone, forever. Forget the two weeks alone in the house and go visit him! I know it's terrible and provokes fear, but atleast you can visit your dad in the hospital and not in the morgue like I had to. You posted so much about him and you doing funny things. Now he needs you! And now is the time to show him that his son cares about him, in person and not through a proxy! You can do it, I know you are strong enough!

Prayers for your dad. You know, you should spend time with him, your dad. Spend time with your dad, as much as possible. Frankly, I never had a dad, in my life, and I don't even know if he's alive. So you really should spend time with your dad as much as possible. Once again, prayers for your dad.

My aunt called me 10 minutes ago and she said that today, Monday, is not the best day for me to go see him, but she'll talk to the doctor to see what will be a better time for me to go visit him. Until then, my mom is currently coming out and we'll go grocery shopping, because I only got $5 left on my SNAP card and that has to last until next Sunday. So she's helping me out with the food and my next door neighbors that my dad are close friends with are willing to help out anyway they can.

And no Smoking Wizard, I'm not doing "funny things." I'm doing what I need to do; taking care of the house, the garden and the cat while looking for things to occupy my mind. It's weird not having him around.

Originally Posted by ResidentEvil7

My aunt called me 10 minutes ago and she said that today, Monday, is not the best day for me to go see him, but she'll talk to the doctor to see what will be a better time for me to go visit him. Until then, my mom is currently coming out and we'll go grocery shopping, because I only got $5 left on my SNAP card and that has to last until next Sunday. So she's helping me out with the food and my next door neighbors that my dad are close friends with are willing to help out anyway they can.

And no Smoking Wizard, I'm not doing "funny things." I'm doing what I need to do; taking care of the house, the garden and the cat while looking for things to occupy my mind. It's weird not having him around.

Perhaps it is due to my improvable English, but what I wanted to tell you is that you showed us on this site in your various posts that you and your dad have a good relationship. I don't know if in English you name this "to do funny things together" or "to do fun things together" = to do enjoyable things together and to have a good time.

The second thing is this: you don't need the permission of anyone to visit your dad! It is your right as a close relative to do that! If you miss him and want to do it, then just do it. What the hell does "not the best day to visit him" even means in this situation? Just imagine the reversed situation, would your dad wait for your aunts permission? I guess not.

Originally Posted by ResidentEvil7

My aunt called me 10 minutes ago and she said that today, Monday, is not the best day for me to go see him, but she'll talk to the doctor to see what will be a better time for me to go visit him. Until then, my mom is currently coming out and we'll go grocery shopping, because I only got $5 left on my SNAP card and that has to last until next Sunday. So she's helping me out with the food and my next door neighbors that my dad are close friends with are willing to help out anyway they can.

And no Smoking Wizard, I'm not doing "funny things." I'm doing what I need to do; taking care of the house, the garden and the cat while looking for things to occupy my mind. It's weird not having him around.

Can you let me know? keep me updated? I just got a car, and I'm possibly going to an online school for a career so I can support and self-fund my goals. I also wanted to compare Man cave goals with you. I would like to connect you. Do you have a smart phone? Maybe I can message you? or Call you? Would like also to lend emotional supports. PM me for connections.

Originally Posted by Smoking Wizard

The second thing is this: you don't need the permission of anyone to visit your dad! It is your right as a close relative to do that! If you miss him and want to do it, then just do it. What the hell does "not the best day to visit him" even means in this situation?

ResidentEvil7, I must agree with this advice strongly, and here's my own story.

My dad was very ill back in 1999, in the hospital about an hour's drive south of where I lived. I wanted to go visit him the upcoming weekend and happened to mention this to my mom by phone. She told me to not visit him at that time. I fell into that dutiful son thing and obeyed her, figuring this was her domain as a wife and figured she was in contact with the hospital etc., and why would I disobey and cause friction at this time with him in the hospital.

So, that weekend, instead of visiting him, I drove an hour north to my brother's house, arriving unannounced. (None of us had cell phones at that time.) He was not home and I figured he went to the store, so I sat in my car out front of his house. After an hour of waiting, I gave up and went home.

I later learned that he and all of my other siblings were at the hospital that day, with mom, visiting dad. That's where everybody was while I was sitting in my car. I was so fucking pissed. I had assumed she would have told my siblings what she had told me. No, I'm sure they just showed up and she didn't care. She probably didn't even recall telling me not to come, five minutes after she told me.

Why did I have to play the dutiful obeying son? Why did I listen to her? I should have asserted my God-given right as a man and an adult in his 40s to show up at the hospital. But, no, I was the pussy little son who did not exercise his adulthood like all of my siblings had done.

My dad died a few days later. I've been kicking myself ever since.

It's been twenty years and I'm still getting mighty pissed off just typing this out here. I'm mad at my mom (who has since passed) and I'm mad at myself. All of his kids were around him except me. Because my mom gave me a ridiculous command and I obeyed. Oh, how I would love to have done differently.

Do you know how bad that makes me feel to know that dad did not see me there? My eyes are watering as I type.

Don't let these controlling women tell you how to love you dad. Your aunt has no authority to tell you, his son, to stay away. You can show up at the hospital as many times as you like. You can hear it from the doctors themselves to get a rhythm of how things are going.

So, take this advice kindly, my dear friend, get your ass to the hospital and see your dad. Ignore your aunt. Don't be scared that she may not help you later if you go to the hospital. You are an adult and this is what they call LIFE.

Don't do as I did and still have anger and regret twenty years on.

Originally Posted by Unboxxed

ResidentEvil7, I must agree with this advice strongly, and here's my own story.

My dad was very ill back in 1999, in the hospital about an hour's drive south of where I lived. I wanted to go visit him the upcoming weekend and happened to mention this to my mom by phone. She told me to not visit him at that time. I fell into that dutiful son thing and obeyed her, figuring this was her domain as a wife and figured she was in contact with the hospital etc., and why would I disobey and cause friction at this time with him in the hospital.

So, that weekend, instead of visiting him, I drove an hour north to my bother's house, arriving unannounced. (None of us had cell phones at that time.) He was not home and I figured he went to the store, so I sat in my car out front of his house. After an hour of waiting, I gave up and went home.

I later learned that he and all of my other siblings were at the hospital that day, with mom, visiting dad. That's where he was while I was sitting in my car. I was so fucking pissed, but not at him. I had assumed she would have told my siblings what she had told me. No, I'm sure they just showed up and she didn't care. She probably didn't even recall telling me not to come, five minutes after she told me.

Why did I have to play the dutiful obeying son? Why did I listen to her? I should have asserted my God-given right as a man and an adult in his 40s to show up at the hospital. But, no, I was the pussy little son who did not exercise his adulthood like all of my siblings had done.

My dad died a few days later. I've been kicking myself ever since.

It's been twenty years and I'm still getting mighty pissed off just typing this out here. I'm mad at my mom (who has since passed) and I'm mad at myself. All of his kids were around him except me. Because my mom gave me a ridiculous command and I obeyed. Oh, how I would love to have done differently.

Do you know how bad that makes me feel to know that dad did not see me there? My eyes are watering as I type.

Don't let these controlling women tell you how to love you dad. Your aunt has no authority to tell you, his son, to stay away. You can show up at the hospital as many times as you like. You can hear it from the doctor's themselves to get a rhythm of how things are going.

So, take this advice kindly, my dear friend, get your ass to the hospital and see your dad. Ignore your aunt. You are an adult and this is what they call LIFE.

Don't do as I did and still have anger and regret twenty years on.

All is not wasted, Unboxxed, I'm tearing a page from your experience and armoring myself accordingly! It's so easy to be misguided when we don't act on our own spontaneity and intuition.

It's a "jump off the bridge" directive that we don't see coming until it's too late as the wind tears past our ears while we're falling!

I'm installing the mental app in my head as I write this post!

Thanks for the armor, Unboxxed, your anger and resentment isn't going to waste, it's being recycled and mixed with Kevlar for bulletproof shielding!

There's no such thing as having too much armor!