Thread: Kicking my alcohol problem

My first post. I want to share I have an alcohol problem. I know every addict will say this, but I wasn't addicted just yet. I drank because I liked it and not to feel normal, I didn't have withdrawal and had no craving. But I was fucking close to the cliff.
Absolutely not proud that I let it out of control but I am having a sense of accomplishment to say I'm 2 years sober now.
Next stop: smoking. Mentally prepping for it. It'll be harder because I am addicted to that shit.

Congratulations, RedPilledSimp, on two years of sobriety. More power to you to quit smoking.

Drunk people reproduce. A few million years of that and it's a small wonder the craving's build in for many of us. My best friends a functioning alcoholic. He holds it together, though conventional wisdom says it can't be done. Course he one of the toughest people I've ever known though he doesn't look the part. If you've stayed off the sauce for two years, you're doing good.

My old man was big on nicotine, except for cigars, he did it all. Said chew was the hardest habit to bust. He never quit entirely but did cut back when he got older.

Originally Posted by RedPilledSimp

My first post. I want to share I have an alcohol problem. I know every addict will say this, but I wasn't addicted just yet. I drank because I liked it and not to feel normal, I didn't have withdrawal and had no craving. But I was fucking close to the cliff.
Absolutely not proud that I let it out of control but I am having a sense of accomplishment to say I'm 2 years sober now.
Next stop: smoking. Mentally prepping for it. It'll be harder because I am addicted to that shit.

2 Years! Congrats man.

I’ve been trying to kick it for quite a while now to no avail. In an attempt to motivate myself I’d set a date and use a spreadsheet to calculate how much I’d saved. I usually last about 2 days and then delete the spreadsheet.

The last time I tried was exactly 35 days ago. I know this because this time I didn’t delete the file. I look at it and update it daily to see how much better off financially I would be if I kicked this stupid habit. The tab is running at €500.

And that’s just the financial side of things.

As for the “functioning alcoholic” mentioned by frog, I guess that describes me. If you met me for the first time on a work day you’d have no idea I drank so much, or even at all.

Any hints or tips you could share would be most appreciated but please don’t delve too deep trying to answer this, overthinking the issue is part of my problem and I have no wish to cause you the same dilemma.

Resources:

Alcoholics Anonymous - has a spiritual component

Rational Recovery - no spiritual component

Rational Recovery differs significantly from AA in a number of important ways including:
* Alcoholism is not viewed as a disease
* RR is not a religious/spiritual program
* The label of recovering alcoholic is not used
* There is far less emphasis on recovery groups
* Once AVRT (described here) is mastered there is no need for any additional steps
* Recovery is viewed as an event and not a process
Rational Recovery is similar to AA in that it views lifelong abstinence as the only reliable way to manage this addiction.


SMART Recovery - USA and Canada

SMART Recovery International - Approximately 3,000 groups meet weekly in more than 20 countries

Originally Posted by Unboxxed

Alcoholics Anonymous - has a spiritual component

Yeah, being an atheist this is obviously a problem for me.

I'd never even heard of Rational Recovery or Smart Recovery. A quick google search revealed that we have a chapter of Smart Recovery here in Ireland with online meetings.

I'll look into it. Many thanks.

Originally Posted by Jackoff

Yeah, being an atheist this is obviously a problem for me.

I'd never even heard of Rational Recovery or Smart Recovery. A quick google search revealed that we have a chapter of Smart Recovery here in Ireland with online meetings.

I'll look into it. Many thanks.

An atheist is only a stubborn man god's working on, and we all know how stubborn the Irish can be!

Originally Posted by mgtower

An atheist is only a stubborn man god's working on, and we all know how stubborn the Irish can be!

I'm sorry, I can't hear you...

Originally Posted by Jackoff

I'm sorry, I can't hear you...

It isn't me you have to worry about...

Originally Posted by Jackoff

2 Years! Congrats man.

I’ve been trying to kick it for quite a while now to no avail. In an attempt to motivate myself I’d set a date and use a spreadsheet to calculate how much I’d saved. I usually last about 2 days and then delete the spreadsheet.

The last time I tried was exactly 35 days ago. I know this because this time I didn’t delete the file. I look at it and update it daily to see how much better off financially I would be if I kicked this stupid habit. The tab is running at €500.

And that’s just the financial side of things.

As for the “functioning alcoholic” mentioned by frog, I guess that describes me. If you met me for the first time on a work day you’d have no idea I drank so much, or even at all.

Any hints or tips you could share would be most appreciated but please don’t delve too deep trying to answer this, overthinking the issue is part of my problem and I have no wish to cause you the same dilemma.

Thank you for your openness, brother. It really humbles me you dare to be so frank to me.
Don't worry about me "delving to deep and getting me back to the bottle." Why? Because you're not putting a gun to my head telling me to drink. It's always me making that choice.

The first advice I want to give you is to stop suffering from substance using. That's what pains me the most "Oh, I'm a bad person, because I drink/ smoke/ use drugs/ gamble/ go to prostitutes a.s.o." No, you're not a "bad person." I actually don't believe bad persons exist. Yes, people do very bad things. But those stigma's are just coming out of clown world. I you want to drink, then fucking drink! Enjoy every glass like it's the last one you'll ever get in your life. Alcohol is the most potent pharmaceutical in the world. It relieves anxiety, stress, lowers pain and gets your mind calmed down. There is no other substance which has this much (different) effects. Yes, alcohol is also a mood enhancer, so be careful when you're feeling depressed or an other negative emotions.

So why did I stop? Different reasons. First was the hangover the following day. In the end I started to feel a bit human close to the end of a working day. Second I started to develop neurological symptoms. Friends caught me with a hand tremor, I had problems with information processing and reaction time. Especially the latter two scared me. It was as if I had buffering moments in my "film." So one day I decided "I don't want this anymore" and left the bottle. I was mentally prepared for withdrawal/ craving. But neither of those happened. Yes I had a few "difficult moments" like having a nice diner at a restaurant thinking "Shit, I'd love to have a good wine now" But I wasn't fighting that urge.

When I'm going to quit smoking I know I will have craving moments. I know that because I've quit smoking a couple of times. But I also know those moments will fade and diminish in intensity, duration and frequency.

A few of the biggest traps people fall in to (including me) when kicking an addiction are:
- Making it the "forbidden fruit." "I am not allowed to drink, smoke etc" Yes you are. If I want to go to the liquor store, buy 2 bottles of wine and empty them right then and there I can do that.
- Rewarding yourself for not using the substance. That'll only increase the "forbidden fruit" and keeps reminding you of the substance abuse. "Ah I haven't drank for 3 months now, and I saves 300 dollars!!" When you weren't thinking about drinking in the first place...
- Giving up after a relapse. "Shit! I was sober for 3 months and now I've done it again. I'm such a bad person." Fuck that. A relapse doesn't mean that at all. Kick the suffering please.

"Face" the cravings by understanding what they are. When asked I explain people that craving is the same feeling as if you're starving and smell freshly backed bread (f.e.). Your whole system is screaming to go and eat right there and then!! Craving is the same feeling only for substances you don't need to survive.

"Wait a fucking minute, Simp. Isn't this EXACTLY the same as I did with females?!" Yes, that's indeed what I'm saying. When the reddit mgtow was still up I tried to advice men to treat women like kicking an addiction. Yes they look/ feel/ smell and taste fucking hot and you'll get horny AF over them. But you don't need women for your own survival.

Originally Posted by mgtower

It isn't me you have to worry about...

"should I take the left tree to shelter?"

Right!

Originally Posted by RedPilledSimp

Thank you for your openness, brother. It really humbles me you dare to be so frank to me.

No sir. It is I who should be thanking you. You’re the one that took the risk in bringing up the topic not knowing what reaction you would get.

As for my “openness” as you put it I had 2 choices, to stay shtum and help no-one, not even myself, or to post a reply.

This is a red-pill website. To me that means speaking the truth even if that truth is, erm, uncomfortable?

If you and I can enter into a dialogue then maybe others, whether members or lurkers will also be helped.

Originally Posted by RedPilledSimp

"Wait a fucking minute, Simp. Isn't this EXACTLY the same as I did with females?!"

That is what we’re here for isn’t it? To help each other see the folly of our actions?

It’ll take me a little time to process all this, including the reference material supplied by Unboxxed, maybe I can get back to this a little later. I’ve bookmarked this thread so I won’t lose track of it.

Again, many thanks Simp for demonstrating your own courage.

The last time I drank was around 2005, the last time I got drunk was 2001 when I turned my home and surrounding area into an 18 hole mini golf area (alcohol induced).

I've found my personality to be much more settled and solid, meaning alcohol played havoc on my emotions and disposition. I like me this way the way one would like their best friend, I can trust myself now whereas before I never knew where alcohol would take me, like straight ahead on a hairpin turn, 4 wheelin' with a 69 mercury cougar XR-7, getting T boned in an MG midget by another drunk more in the wrong than me. Nevermind all the emotional turmoil it caused. I haven't been arrested in 30 sumthin' years, before I grew up I was getting arrested about every 5 years over drinking and loss of self control (not violent) loosing control over self and logic taking unnecessary risks just for the pure excitement of it. Pussy? none of it was off limits when I had been drinking.

The difference between a fox and a dog is about 5 or 6 drinks!

Originally Posted by RedPilledSimp

"should I take the left tree to shelter?"

Right!

You talking to me?

Anyone remember the Bishop's last few rounds in "Caddyshack"?

Originally Posted by kru-kut

Anyone remember the Bishop's last few rounds in "Caddyshack"?

I can relate to the aggressive bombing, burning, and shooting campaign against the woodchuck throughout the movie! That's my back yard! Wire chewing, home invading, turd dropping varmints! I've got a mini Ukraine in my backyard!

With a little gasoline and oxy acetylene, just like the movie I turn their tunnels into smoking trenches! I succeed where Caddy Shack failed!

Originally Posted by RedPilledSimp

I tried to advice men to treat women like kicking an addiction. Yes they look/ feel/ smell and taste fucking hot and you'll get horny AF over them. But you don't need women for your own survival.

Women are also like an addiction habit in another ways. They are expensive and deadly.

I quit drinking and all forms of tobacco and nicotine. They weren't worth it. The expensive and most of the next day feeling like poop wasn't worth it.

The best advice I can give for quitting smoking is do it cold turkey and never skip meals. I carry around a bottle of cranberry juice with me. It helps with the cravings and mood swings(caused by low blood sugar).

Never thought I'd be nicotine free cause I always used some form of tobacco with it was dip, chew, or cigarettes. But I just got sick of them just like I did with women.

I never smoked, nor drank hard alcohol. The hardest thing I drank was dry wine and that was just a taste test at my local wine tasting festival.

My dad had a plan to keep me from doing that stuff; make me try it once. One Tuesday night, when I was 12, my dad and I were playing darts in our man cave, he had a birth cigar from one of his friends and he had me inhale it once. The extreme pain in my lungs were horrible that I ran to the sink and chugged water down. I hated it and I never smoked. My dad did the same experiment with hard booze when I was 14, and I drooled it out over the sink. Smoking and hard drinks are AWFUL!

The only time I drink is a Coors Light on the weekend and wine on New Year's Eve at home with my best friend. And I make a rule and that is if I'm consuming alcohol, I never leave home, and if I'm out at the bar planning on having a beer, I take my bike. It only takes one DUI to fuck your life up forever; ask Paul Pelosi.

Let me add my voice to the many that are congratulating you for turning your back on the bottle and on tobacco. My father smoked for decades, it took my brother's father-in-law dying from lung cancer before he realized that it would kill him if he let it. His best days were after he retired, spending his days in his boat out on the lake. He once sat down and figured out how much earlier he could have bought that boat if he hadn't wasted all that money on tobacco.

Bottom line up front, you're throwing away an expensive and self-destructive habit. Good for you.

Originally Posted by ResidentEvil7

if I'm out at the bar planning on having a beer, I take my bike. It only takes one DUI to fuck your life up forever; ask Paul Pelosi.

You can still get a DUI on a bike. You won't believe this but I actually knew someone who got a DUI on a skateboard. Lol no joke.

Nothing will happen to Paul Pelosi. A few grand to his lawyer and a few fines. Maybe a few AA meetings. He is super rich so it's like pennies to him.

Originally Posted by MGTOWFOREVER

You can still get a DUI on a bike. You won't believe this but I actually knew someone who got a DUI on a skateboard. Lol no joke.

Nothing will happen to Paul Pelosi. A few grand to his lawyer and a few fines. Maybe a few AA meetings. He is super rich so it's like pennies to him.

Maybe next time he'll pay the piper when there's a couple dead bodies under his car.

In Massachusetts you can get a DUI (here called OUI) if you're on a horse and the horse is sober, they won't accept a plea that the horse was a designated driver. Everything's against the law in Massachusetts!