Thread: Disagreement Among Progressives Over Whether The Vax Is The Literal Body Of Fauci Or Just Symbolic

U.S. — A dispute regarding the nature of vaccination has arisen among faithful followers of The Science, and of Fauci as its prophet. According to sources, some progressives say that the sacrament of vaccination is the literal body of Fauci, while others believe it is only symbolic.

"The sacred mRNA juice we inject into our bodies to cover our COVID becomes the literal body of our Blessed Lord Fauci through a process called tranvaxstantiation," said progressive scholar Banz Tinkleman (he/him). "Whether it be Pfizer or Moderna, we can have faith that the real presence of Fauci is within the vax itself. To suggest otherwise is a damnable heresy. Why we..."Tinkleman was unable to finish his sentence, as the left side of his face suddenly stopped working and began twitching wildly . . .

Several progressives, however, take issue with this view. "We vaccinate as a communal time of remembrance of Fauci and everything he's done for us," said a scholar Yix Mixley (she/her), who holds the opposing view. "We acknowledge that the spiritual presence of Fauci, blessings upon him, may be in with and under the vax, but reject tranvaxstantiation wholeheartedly."
Mixley then collapsed due to heart inflammation with her arms flailing randomly . . .

At publishing time, progressive leaders agreed to settle it through a holy war in which any heretics would be burned at the stake, but ultimately elected to just send the holy crusader army of Antifa to burn Portland down instead . . .
https://babylonbee.com/news/disagree...-just-symbolic Fake News You Can Trust!

Originally Posted by CPRA

U.S. — A dispute regarding the nature of vaccination has arisen among faithful followers of The Science, and of Fauci as its prophet. According to sources, some progressives say that the sacrament of vaccination is the literal body of Fauci, while others believe it is only symbolic.

"The sacred mRNA juice we inject into our bodies to cover our COVID becomes the literal body of our Blessed Lord Fauci through a process called tranvaxstantiation," said progressive scholar Banz Tinkleman (he/him). "Whether it be Pfizer or Moderna, we can have faith that the real presence of Fauci is within the vax itself. To suggest otherwise is a damnable heresy. Why we..."Tinkleman was unable to finish his sentence, as the left side of his face suddenly stopped working and began twitching wildly . . .

Several progressives, however, take issue with this view. "We vaccinate as a communal time of remembrance of Fauci and everything he's done for us," said a scholar Yix Mixley (she/her), who holds the opposing view. "We acknowledge that the spiritual presence of Fauci, blessings upon him, may be in with and under the vax, but reject tranvaxstantiation wholeheartedly."
Mixley then collapsed due to heart inflammation with her arms flailing randomly . . .

At publishing time, progressive leaders agreed to settle it through a holy war in which any heretics would be burned at the stake, but ultimately elected to just send the holy crusader army of Antifa to burn Portland down instead . . .
https://babylonbee.com/news/disagree...-just-symbolic Fake News You Can Trust!

Corona's Witnesses, leader: unknown, members: approx. 5.5 billion (69.1%), symbol: upright syringe in front of a mask, believe in: whatever "the science" says, costs worldwide: approx. 100 trillion USD (100,000,000,000,000.00).