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  1. #1
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    Unhappy Not quite there yet

    I'm not interested in marriage, cohabitation or even dating. Logically, I'm onboard with MGTOW.

    I don't care about sex. Never been real comfortable around women anyway.

    I have hobbies and a job.

    But emotionally, I can't extinguish the desire to be loved. It keeps popping up from somewhere in my subconscious. And friends/family/pets just don't do it for me. It could perhaps be rooted in insecurity or low self-esteem starting in childhood.

    Even though I have mostly checked out of society, I have still had a few experiences where women have been able to manipulate me because of this. It is like an addictive drug. Logically I know it is poison but I still want it emotionally.

    How do you deal with this self-destructive emotion?

  2. #2
    Senior Member mgtower's Avatar
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    Re: Not quite there yet

    I refuse to love anything that would poison my spirit. Apparently you're not based in yourself, you're looking to others for fulfillment while your a broken vessel that can't hold its own.

    When you learn to control your emotions you gain the ability to annihilate the emotions that don't serve any purpose outside your own personal vulnerability.

    I believe your heart says yes but your intellect says HELL NO! You need to get them both on the same page.
    A man's only "safe space" be in his sovereignty, free from the illusions and misconceptions of a unity that only serves to bind him to tyranny and perdition.

  3. #3
    Senior Member rkspsm's Avatar
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    Re: Not quite there yet

    Kudos to your honesty with yourself, sir !!! You actually took care of the harder part IMHO.

    To replace love, you can try, and I am putting it bluntly, brainwashing yourself. Find something to do, something where you INVEST your time and energy to it. Something which requires way more effort than taking care of a pet. And do it continuously. After a point, you may find yourself attached to the task, because you will be attached to results, and hopefully your need to find love via human bonding fades away.
    "Truth is enough." - Curt Doolittle
    "Truth, and violence to enforce it." - Eli Harman

  4. #4
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    Re: Not quite there yet

    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    How do you deal with this self-destructive emotion?

    Love is such a generic term and can mean many things to different people.

    For example, for you is it the need for:

    sex?
    company?
    someone to bond with?
    someone that understands you?
    someone to take care of and get the same in return?

    Some of the above? All of the above? Something else entirely?

    Understand that in most relationships all of these are transitory. Even if they are present at the beginning they usually fade very quickly and that’s when things begin to fall apart. You suddenly realise that you are in a much worse position than you were before entering into the relationship and all that happiness was little more than self-delusion.

    A couple of years at best of delusional happiness followed by a lifetime asking yourself “Why did I do this to myself?”

    The first step in addressing any emotional state is identifying just what it is you are feeling.
    "Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

    All we can do is keep ourselves from all those who don't deserve it. Dave Matthes

  5. #5
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    Re: Not quite there yet

    Thank you for the replies.

    I conjecture that my problem has not been well studied yet- possibly because the majority have all been burned badly before; which provides an antidote.

    I conclude that there are no easy shortcuts when you decide to go your own way. I aspire to be like you all someday.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Knarley Bob's Avatar
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    Re: Not quite there yet

    You have to learn to love yourself first. When you get to the point where you can say "Hey, I AM O.K." and smile, you are on the right track. Believe in your self, you are good. Hating yourself isn't where you want to be..... Trust me, been there.
    As soon as she says "I do", she don't
    MOLON LABE......."Come take them"

  7. #7

    Re: Not quite there yet

    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    Thank you for the replies.

    I conjecture that my problem has not been well studied yet- possibly because the majority have all been burned badly before; which provides an antidote.

    I conclude that there are no easy shortcuts when you decide to go your own way. I aspire to be like you all someday.
    Not all of us have been burned badly there are MGTOW like me who never went through the meatgrinder of a divorce court. Thank god for that. I do not hate women I'm just not compatible will all their bullshit. That's all there is to it. If you are young just be aware of what you are getting into. MGTOW will find you when the time is right. The peace and the balance you will find are priceless.
    All the best
    "MGTOW is an extreme measure to an extreme situation"
    Quote Insidious Sid: "Some men are so MGTOW they're not even MGTOW".
    Quote Life is what you make of it "Marriage is the only war where you sleep with the enemy."

  8. #8
    Senior Member mgtower's Avatar
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    Re: Not quite there yet

    Quote Originally Posted by Natural Born MGTOW View Post
    there are MGTOW like me who never went through the meatgrinder of a divorce court
    Hmmm, lemme think, where was I when my friends bones were cracking and shattering in the divorce meat grinder?

    Oh, that's right! I was hucking ledge in Utah! What's hucking ledge you ask? Don't get married and there's a possibility you'll find out!




    A man's only "safe space" be in his sovereignty, free from the illusions and misconceptions of a unity that only serves to bind him to tyranny and perdition.

  9. #9

    Re: Not quite there yet

    Quote Originally Posted by mgtower View Post
    Hmmm, lemme think, where was I when my friends bones were cracking and shattering in the divorce meat grinder?

    Oh, that's right! I was hucking ledge in Utah! What's hucking ledge you ask? Don't get married and there's a possibility you'll find out!




    Dang, that looks super fun, wish I was able to do more physical sports.

  10. #10
    Senior Member mgtower's Avatar
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    Re: Not quite there yet

    Quote Originally Posted by Tomatoshadow2 View Post
    Dang, that looks super fun, wish I was able to do more physical sports.
    It is FUN! The addiction sent me on a decades log drive to every accessible peak in New England and a couple trips to the Wasatch and Rockies! Had my eye in Argentina but ran out of money by then! I was literally ON TOP OF THE WORLD!

    I'm BACK!
    A man's only "safe space" be in his sovereignty, free from the illusions and misconceptions of a unity that only serves to bind him to tyranny and perdition.


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