Thread: New to MGTOW, decided to give it a shoot

Hello,
I am a young male, currently in College, 23. I have never before had a girlfriend, not because I didn't want to, far from it. However, I have never felt the urge to have one, I thought it was too much trouble for what it's worth. I mean, dates, money, being a gentleman, coming up with initiative for what? A pussy? A chance to get laid? I tried a couple of times, but I have never felt it was something that brought me happiness, seemed more like a chore. Also, rejected when being young and trying to impress girls, only made me even more confused. Before the age of twenty I have never found porn fascinating or that I needed it, it changed a couple years back, though at least I am not addicted to it. Still thinking of going of monk mode, although I hate the bloody hormones responsible for the urge.


Anyway, I also have got a family, which never divorced and even the neighbours who also never divorced. I thought they were good role models to me. Father non-alcoholic, hard working person. Mother, a kind and caring soul, who yelled at times, but never really meant it. I looked up to them, but for the past few years, I have been asked 'when will you get a girlfriend?'. At first, I thought, there was something wrong with me. I tried being nice, caring guy, like the society told. How my mother told me, that I should never hit a girl, no matter what. It never worked out and only left me not having any hope of finding a girlfriend, much less a wife, a bit depressed too.


Then, I came across MGTOW and got red pilled. It started off with the reddit 'Where did all the good men go?', from there I came across MGTOW reddit and things went from there. I listened to Sandman, Karen Straughan and was shocked about what they were saying. A part of me, still wants to deny this, that the woman are not as bad currently as MGTOW paints them to be. It's hard to accept that, the woman these days are ugly on the inside and they don't care about men, not all of them, but most of them. The fact that the divorces became a massive way to earn crazy amounts of money (Divorce Corp movie) and even in my home country, Poland, over 40% marriages end up in divorce, middle of the Europe. There are exceptions, such as: Karen Straughan, but I am not holding my breath of finding the 'one'.


I guess, what I am trying to say that being hard-wired to be a 'nice guy' left a lasting impact on me. Even now, I still have got trouble accepting, just how messed up the current society is or that the MGTOW philosophy is right. I also, find myself asking questions, how should I act when interacting with women? Being a 'bad boy' is out of the question, I wouldn't be able to keep it up for long. Should I act like a Terminator an emotionless machine? Do I act like a robot towards all the woman? The cashiers? My coworkers? Should I never smile? It is a bit overwhelming and I could use a bit of advice.


With regards,
Ediros

Originally Posted by Ediros

Hello,
I am a young male, currently in College, 23. I have never before had a girlfriend, not because I didn't want to, far from it. However, I have never felt the urge to have one, I thought it was too much trouble for what it's worth. I mean, dates, money, being a gentleman, coming up with initiative for what? A pussy? A chance to get laid? I tried a couple of times, but I have never felt it was something that brought me happiness, seemed more like a chore. Also, rejected when being young and trying to impress girls, only made me even more confused. Before the age of twenty I have never found porn fascinating or that I needed it, it changed a couple years back, though at least I am not addicted to it. Still thinking of going of monk mode, although I hate the bloody hormones responsible for the urge.


Anyway, I also have got a family, which never divorced and even the neighbours who also never divorced. I thought they were good role models to me. Father non-alcoholic, hard working person. Mother, a kind and caring soul, who yelled at times, but never really meant it. I looked up to them, but for the past few years, I have been asked 'when will you get a girlfriend?'. At first, I thought, there was something wrong with me. I tried being nice, caring guy, like the society told. How my mother told me, that I should never hit a girl, no matter what. It never worked out and only left me not having any hope of finding a girlfriend, much less a wife, a bit depressed too.


Then, I came across MGTOW and got red pilled. It started off with the reddit 'Where did all the good men go?', from there I came across MGTOW reddit and things went from there. I listened to Sandman, Karen Straughan and was shocked about what they were saying. A part of me, still wants to deny this, that the woman are not as bad currently as MGTOW paints them to be. It's hard to accept that, the woman these days are ugly on the inside and they don't care about men, not all of them, but most of them. The fact that the divorces became a massive way to earn crazy amounts of money (Divorce Corp movie) and even in my home country, Poland, over 40% marriages end up in divorce, middle of the Europe. There are exceptions, such as: Karen Straughan, but I am not holding my breath of finding the 'one'.


I guess, what I am trying to say that being hard-wired to be a 'nice guy' left a lasting impact on me. Even now, I still have got trouble accepting, just how messed up the current society is or that the MGTOW philosophy is right. I also, find myself asking questions, how should I act when interacting with women? Being a 'bad boy' is out of the question, I wouldn't be able to keep it up for long. Should I act like a Terminator an emotionless machine? Do I act like a robot towards all the woman? The cashiers? My coworkers? Should I never smile? It is a bit overwhelming and I could use a bit of advice.


With regards,
Ediros

Hi Ediros,

You submitted a second Intro a few minutes after this one, probably because you wondered why this first one did not appear. Both Intros got held back until reviewed by a Moderator so I am posting this first one and deleting the second one which was nearly identical to it.

I can't be sure that you had read our How To Intro sticky/tutorial as it references three discussion points. You seem to have discussed two out of the three:

1. Relationship history (experience with women, red pills, what about it made you made you aware; note- you don't HAVE to have had relationships but you can speak of your interactions with women) -- it turns out trolls don't have good, realistic stories of this ilk.

2. Awareness: your blue pill perspectives, how you transitioned to red pill, with enough detail about what brought you to MGTOW.

3. Who you are: tell us a little bit of who you are. What you like, what you do, etc.

You indicate that you have never had a girlfriend so it appears you have no breakup stories to relate to us in detail. Ok.

You indicate how you came across MGTOW. Ok.

You don't mention hobbies or favored activities, but you do tell us about yourself to the extent that you are seeking advice. Let me place together a few things that you had said:

A part of me, still wants to deny this, that the woman are not as bad currently as MGTOW paints them to be.

You are not red pill. That doesn't make you bad. It means you are in a transition or an awakening.

but I am not holding my breath of finding the 'one'.

But you are hoping to find the 'one', yes? You have not shut the door on this.

Even now, I still have got trouble accepting, just how messed up the current society is or that the MGTOW philosophy is right. I also, find myself asking questions, how should I act when interacting with women?

Here, I made words bold where you are not yet accepting of MGTOW. Ok. Men are anywhere they are in their life experience.

Importantly, by these statements you have indicated that you are not red pill. You have not sworn off relationships with women. Not yet, anyway.

My concern is that you have come to a MGTOW site asking for advice on how to interact with women when our group of red pill men has sworn them off for relationships. We do not get depressed at the thought of no future girlfriend or wife. In fact, we are happy about that! You may be open to blue bill advice but you shouldn't expect that type of advice from us.

It's kinda like you are attending an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting asking for advice on how you should drink. MGTOW is not exactly an idea where you try it out, or "give it a shoot". It's something where you get fed up and you decide you will be, no looking back.

Here's what I'm gonna do. I am going to close your account as you are not MGTOW. Membership here is for red pills only. You are, however, questioning things. I am moving this thread to the Opposing Views subforum where our red pill membership can respond to questions from people who are not MGTOW or not yet MGTOW. You do not need a registered account to communicate with us there. So, please avail yourself of our red-pill responses to you in that subforum, where I will move this thread.

If the day arrives that you know you are red pill, no doubts left, you can re-register on our site and submit the proper Intro to tell us as much.

Thank you.

You sound like a young guy who has just stumbled upon MGTOW and hasn't fully digested the red pill.

Don't worry, no one on here is 100% red pill; it would be too much. We all need to fool ourselves once in a while about the reality of the matter regarding the gynocentric world we find ourselves in. It would be too depressing to be 100% red pill all the time.

I understand the disillusionment you are going through sir, I can feel it in you're writing. But what this indicates is that you are going through the process of being red pilled, but you are just starting.

Although MGTOW is not an ideology like feminism, Marxism as such, we also need boundaries, and clearly defined concepts. We cannot just make MGTOW into, any idea is welcome; it becomes too broad of a church.

At the same time, we also aren't militant about our ideas, we are curios and interested to hear different viewpoints and interpretations; but not to the extent where MGTOW becomes diluted.

This is why we have had to ban manginas, blue pillers, gentleman types, romantic types and so forth; they aren't necessarily bad people, but they just don't fit into this community.

People often forget this is a community of like minded serious and intense individuals. Not intense in the sense of being militant, but in the sense that we need to be extremely careful about blue pill ideas falling through the cracks. If we aren't then, we will become like all other forums and it will become too diluted.

Groups/Communities that are too welcoming begin to stand for nothing and everything, and thus they lose their grounding.

As Unboxxed has mentioned, feel free to post in the opposing views or come back later with a new intro if you think a genuine shift has been made. You don't have to rush it, in your own time, you will discover that indeed men (the average 'everyday man') are/is oppressed in the modern western gynocracies.

I also, find myself asking questions, how should I act when interacting with women? Being a 'bad boy' is out of the question, I wouldn't be able to keep it up for long. Should I act like a Terminator an emotionless machine? Do I act like a robot towards all the woman? The cashiers? My coworkers? Should I never smile? It is a bit overwhelming and I could use a bit of advice.

Maybe the young gent wrote his own advice:

"Father non-alcoholic, hard working person"

"Mother, a kind and caring soul, who yelled at times, but never really meant it"

...regarding how he needs his core-frame to be and what he's seeking?

Speaking of 'frame':

I also, find myself asking questions, how should I act when interacting with women? Being a 'bad boy' is out of the question, I wouldn't be able to keep it up for long. Should I act like a Terminator an emotionless machine? Do I act like a robot towards all the woman? The cashiers? My coworkers? Should I never smile? It is a bit overwhelming and I could use a bit of advice.

Isn't MGTOW discussion the ideal frame-builder we all wish we had as young men?

Self-development, self-improvement, health, wealth and attitude (whatever it needs to be in any given situation) would be my advice.

Oh and beware traps, external toxicity, angst and despair.

MGTOW is good navigation tool even for the 'not particularly MGTOW'.

Enjoy life.

Note about Eastern European women from an English perpective:

Easily romanticisable from what I see. There are loads in every English town and they present themselves well. If I wasn't so 'MGTOW-old git' I'd be tempted but we've busted the script wide-open and we cannot unsee the seen thing.

Maybe a younger generation can wrangle 'em a bit better with an MGTOW-tool kit?

Hello Ediros

As a young man of 23 years you still have a lot of things to discover and experience. Since you are in college I can only give you a humble advice. Concentrate and focus on your studies and work hard it will pay off later. You should reflect on what you want from your life. Do some introspection all the answers are there.

As for not having being accepted . . . MGTOW is not for every man. Reading your intro makes me realize that you are most probably in the process of awakening. It takes resolve and understanding to go that road and you must accept the consequences of GYOW. We have been indoctrinated since we've been born on which way to go, which path we should follow. We have all been bluepill men at some time until reality catches up with you. Some have been burned badly and experienced a lot of pain in the process. Their life has been turned upside down leaving them to face tremendous odds. You need to figure out for yourself if it is really worth it.

I do understand that one might have the desire to have kids and a family, unfortunately this is not anymore a viable option without putting yourself at great risk as a man. I do not exaggerate. There are people who are profiting immensely from the destruction of a man's life. There is a whole industry behind it, you saw the documentary "Divorce corp" that's a good start, so you should know by now that MGTOW isn't exaggerating. There are several books that I can recommend one milestone is Esther Vilar "The manipulated man" It's an old book but it will teach you a lot about female nature.
I've read Esther Vilar when I was in my mid twenties and I started observing women when dealing with them it is a mind blowing experience on how well Mrs. Vilar described certain behaviour dictated by female nature. You should read it and I'm dead serious about it.

I'm coming myself from an intact family although my parents marriage failed but they did not divorce, they lived their own hell until my father died. I'm an old man never been maried no kids. I went MGTOW over 20 years ago. It was a very unconscious thing at first. I just observed friends and family and I knew marriage is not something I would ever consider.

Learn to read red flags when dating women. Never ever let your little head take over. The fucking you are giving isn't worth the fucking you are going to receive when things go wrong.

In any case take heed of the MGTOW message and don't be mad at us because we haven't you welcomed yet in our ranks. It is very clear from your intro that you are at he beginning of your journey maybe you are a reluctant MGTOW and are feeling forced by the system to go that way. Here on this forum are no reluctant active MGTOW members at least I haven't discovered one so far.

You should really reflect on what is important in your life once you figured that part out you can focus on achieving your vision.
We do not encourage young men like you to go MGTOW But we urge you to reflect on the MGTOW philosophy and our message to prepare you of what is waiting out there for you.
MGTOW will find you when the time is right, young man and you won't have any doubt on which way to go.
With that being said I wish you all the best in your future endeavors.
Sincerely
NBM

A little late to this party but I will throw a few points in. Your young but that can work to your disadvantage or advantage. Focus on your studies and work and don't stress or concern yourself with girlfriends, wife, or having children. At your age the chances of it backfiring are very high. I already had been through my first divorce at 23. I hate thinking about how better off I would have been if I told the little head to shut it and focus on my studies and military career. Continue reading everything you can on the site its much cheaper to learn from other's mistakes then it is to learn from your own.