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Thread: Bamís ban

  1. #21
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    Re: Bamís ban

    Quote Originally Posted by Unboxxed View Post
    Yes, I was surprised to see that comment, but as Jackoff received it as a non-suppositional question posed directly to him, that alone and not any context became the basis for my response.

    No offense intended, but sometimes in your replies you bob and weave a bit to things stated to you, as the competitive man that you are (and that's how I see it, as a sometimes-characteristic of a highly competitive individual), and it can have the effect to an observer of being inconsistent of position, so I looked at that comment as another surprise inconsistency, but there it was nonetheless.
    In this specific case the fault lays with me.

    The way I wrote that is highly misleading.

    Competition makes us grow. Suffering, pain and competition promote health and growth.

  2. #22
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    Re: Bamís ban

    Quote Originally Posted by Jackoff View Post
    This is exactly how I received it, especially since the the thread started with with phrase "This one is for Jackoff".

    This implied that the whole of the post was directed at me personally.

    I can now see how you were throwing in a hypothetical for the blue-pilled mind but that wasn't exactly obvious.

    But...

    Even to the blue-pilled mind this is inconsistant with what I wanted all those years ago. I bought the whole house, 2.4 children, dog, cat, living happy ever after syndrome. I never wanted to be the stud.
    What you wanted there sounds like a nightmare to me.
    And I would argue that this type of wish in itself could be seen as weak and unambitious. (in the context of the thread again)

    And I wrote ďthis is for JackoffĒ because it was a reply to your post here.

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    Re: Bamís ban

    Quote Originally Posted by Bam Bam View Post
    What you wanted there sounds like a nightmare to me.
    And I would argue that this type of wish in itself could be seen as weak and unambitious. (in the context of the thread again)
    I agree. Looking back it was a nightmare, one from which I'm grateful to have awakened.

    I also agree that THAT me could be considered weak, not for being unambitious but for refusing to accept that my ambitions were being manipulated. Splitting hairs maybe, but I think it's important to see the distinction.

    I should also point out that THAT me would have seen PUA's (or "players" as we referred to them then) in a very different light than I do today. I would go into the details but that would come across as insulting towards what I now understand about the PUA mind set. Suffice to say they appalled me, probably due to the White Knighting attitude that had been so ingrained into me, an attitude that I no longer have.

    Quote Originally Posted by Bam Bam View Post
    And I wrote ďthis is for JackoffĒ because it was a reply to your post here.
    I get this now, but when I first read it seemed like a challenge and on at least some level it probably was. This is what I mean about the written word being so easy to misinterpret though, without at least tone of voice to guide us, what is written so very often is not what is read.

  4. #24
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    Re: Bamís ban

    Quote Originally Posted by Jackoff View Post
    I get this now, but when I first read it seemed like a challenge and on at least some level it probably was.
    There was no challenge whatsoever. I was trying to address what I wrote directly to your comment from here.

    I notice that people on this forum read imaginary emotions and hidden meanings into comments.

    That's also why I got banned for things I did not write or mean that way and was not allowed to explain.

    But it's what you guys want here.

  5. #25
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    Re: Bamís ban

    Quote Originally Posted by Bam Bam View Post
    I notice that people on this forum read imaginary emotions and hidden meanings into comments.
    Ha, your comment reminds me of myself many years ago. Back then, I did not employ paralanguage and would not acknowledge it from others. I believed the value (and the goal) was in saying things on the lines, so to speak, and not between the lines. That, to me, was strength. Looking back, I seem to recall it was based partly in my pursuit of teaching myself to verbalize things accurately, partly it was natural to me to be that way as a high-IQ Poindexter. But also, I was tired of a minority of people playing head games with me by saying things between the lines to allow themselves wiggle room to deny later what they meant if I should seek clarification from them. I couldn't respect that, especially when I thought everybody's goal should be to say things on the lines, to own it. So these people, I thought, were purposefully trying to mess with me and I would not let myself be their toy. For all of these reasons, I would have none of it from anybody, throwing the baby out with the bathwater. I remember the consequences were not unlike what you seem to face with this site and the site you are now on.

    Then one day I complained about this to a coworker friend who replied that this nonverbal way that people have in speaking is part of language. I thought, Oh it is? Such a simple thing for him to say, really, but it broke through to me and helped me to essentially decide his way and allow for it after giving it some thought. So, I flipped a switch and let it in. While everybody had been practicing paralanguage all along, I was late to the party, but I am a quick learner once I get past my strong reasons for not doing things.

    I know you pride yourself in being direct in the things that you say. So did I. Perhaps, like me, it shut down in you an appreciation for the nuances of paralanguage. Like you, I notice the members on our site are nuanced and not incautiously blunt in the things that they say to each other. I'm proud of them for that.

    Just as my friend passed his thoughts along to me so long ago, I will risk passing them along to you here for your consideration.

    As long as I am being sagely, I will mention an even earlier time in my life when I learned about tact, another idea that I did not possess in my character. Rather than repeat that story, I'll link to it here:

    https://www.goingyourownway.com/mgto...54/#post172054

    If you recognize yourself in these above things, let me say that paralanguage is worth exploring. It's used all the time all over the world and it ain't going to go away. Yeah, it takes extra effort at times but the rewards are worth it. Consider that adopting paralanguage and tact are like learning a second and third language. I've added them to my list of strengths.
    The two most important days in your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why. - Mark Twain

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    Re: Bamís ban

    Quote Originally Posted by Bam Bam View Post
    I notice that people on this forum read imaginary emotions and hidden meanings into comments.
    Yeah, well maybe so. Could this possibly be because we're used to dealing with blue-pillers and purple-pillers masquerading as red-pillers?

    What you fail to mention in this statement though is that we also give a chance for people to elaborate on what they truly mean.

    Have I not changed my view on your O.P. in that other forum based upon your replies here?

    Please don’t imply intransigence on our part.

  7. #27
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    Re: Bamís ban

    Quote Originally Posted by Jackoff View Post
    What you fail to mention in this statement though is that we also give a chance for people to elaborate on what they truly mean.
    I hate to tell you that this is not the case.

    During the process of my banning I gave lengthy explanations of what I was conveying, but these were all immediately deleted by Jagrmeister. I also wrote a message to Jagrmeister which was ignored.

    Then mod Frog called it ďplaying word games with the bossĒ.

    And since this is a purely written medium, everything I ever wrote is blatantly available for the mods to see. I never wrote what Jagrmeister accused me of writing.

    I never wrote ďall women are evilĒ and I never wrote that ďmen who chose not to have sex are losersĒ.
    I also never wrote anything even similar to that.

    For a large part of my life I myself chose celibacy and I donít think that men who donít have sex are losers. I donít believe this. I never wrote this.

  8. #28
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    Re: Bamís ban

    Thank you Unboxxed for taking the time out of your life to write this amazing comment!

    I am well aware of paralanguage and I use it daily in real life, but internet forums are different.

    All we have here is text. There is no tempo, vocal pitch, and intonational contours, that can be used to communicate attitudes or other shades of meaning. There is little room for ambiguity here and trying to read paralanguage or hidden meanings into comments online boarders on insanity.

    For example, if I write ďThis one is for Jackoff:Ē, then thatís all there is to it. There is no sane way to read a hidden meaning of a ďchallengeĒ into this. Especially not in the context of me replying across two different websites. Reading paralanguage into text online is a projection of ones own emotions into the text. Itís not what the author actually intended.

    Tact and politeness are tricky.

    I donít want to doxx myself, but even though Iíve been speaking almost nothing but english the past two decades, my first language is not english.

    One thing that is amazing about American culture is the fact that you are legally allowed to be rude. I donít think Americans quite ever comprehend the psychological importance of this.

    Where I grew up, saying something the other person could perceive as impolite, rude or offensive could land you in prison. In the place I am talking about over half a million people get prosecuted every year for speech offenses, like insulting someone or having the wrong political opinion.

    This kind of repression of free expression has a massive psychological impact on the individual. Thatís why I see politeness and tact as a form of dishonesty and control.

    I also see tact and politeness as a hallmark of gynocentrism. Men are direct, females want to weave an invisible, unconscious web by suppressing open discussion.

  9. #29
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    Re: Bamís ban

    I appreciate what you say that typing on a forum is different that vocal speech when interpreting paralanguage. Each has their perils, I'd say.

    Where I grew up, saying something the other person could perceive as impolite, rude or offensive could land you in prison. In the place I am talking about over half a million people get prosecuted every year for speech offenses, like insulting someone or having the wrong political opinion.

    This kind of repression of free expression has a massive psychological impact on the individual. That’s why I see politeness and tact as a form of dishonesty and control.
    Well, that's interesting. Is it fair to say you rebel against those laws in your country by being direct in our country?


    I also see tact and politeness as a hallmark of gynocentrism. Men are direct, females want to weave an invisible, unconscious web by suppressing open discussion.
    I see a continuum where one end is rudeness, the other end is so much politeness that you lose yourself to it, but somewhere in between is the sweet spot where real men can live without losing.


    One thing that is amazing about American culture is the fact that you are legally allowed to be rude.
    Yeah, we don't have laws to throw us in prison for being direct. But I think you know that by now.


    I don’t think Americans quite ever comprehend the psychological importance of this.
    I would tend to agree that there is psychological consequence to being rude, to both speaker and listener. Avoidance of rudeness of expression is a fine art to acquire, one that is not guaranteed to be taught in our school systems. Or, if taught, it does not override the primal urge in many people as evidenced by the untamed freedom known as the internet. In this, I look at the person to see evidence of character. That is, does the person push things to the limits of allowance or do they exhibit self-control and draw their own boundaries?
    The two most important days in your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why. - Mark Twain

    The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.
    - Henry David Thoreau

    There are 10 types of people in the world - those who understand binary, and those who don't.

    Suitable for bookmarking: www.fakehatecrimes.org and www.breitbart.com/tag/hate-crime-hoax

  10. #30
    Senior Member mgtower's Avatar
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    Re: Bamís ban

    I should give lessons on Massachusetts sarcasm, rudeness, and belligerence, surviving this world with these instilled cultural put-offs is quite the challenge and makes me a born natural at para-language, and having the most laws and the most lawyers per-capita, it also makes us paralegals!

    We all know there's nothing slipperier than a paralegal using para-language with a healthy dose of sarcasm. Nothing can enrage a woman more! Hell hath no fury like a woman Massachusetts scorn and covered in sarcasm.

  11. #31
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    Re: Bamís ban

    Quote Originally Posted by Bam Bam View Post
    I hate to tell you that this is not the case.

    During the process of my banning I gave lengthy explanations of what I was conveying, but these were all immediately deleted by Jagrmeister. I also wrote a message to Jagrmeister which was ignored.
    I can't speak to what went on between yourself an Jagr, but as to your eventual permanent ban weren't you given warnings? Weren't you given temp bans? Weren't you given every chance to play within the rules?

    Rules are there for a reason, to give direction as to what is and isn't acceptable. Rules may be pushed but they cannot be allowed to be broken on a continuous basis otherwise they are no longer rules but merely suggestions. Without rules there is nothing but anarchy.

    Where I grew up, saying something the other person could perceive as impolite, rude or offensive could land you in prison. In the place I am talking about over half a million people get prosecuted every year for speech offenses, like insulting someone or having the wrong political opinion.
    I get this, and I get that you resent control over speech because of your own experiences, and believe me I truly sympathise. (By the way Iím not an American and have little understanding of the unique pressures they experience).

    But this site is NOT a dictatorial regime, it is TOTALLY voluntary. We only participate if we wish to, there is no gun at our heads.

    The rules are made clear and it's our choice whether or not we wish to participate. If you don't like the rules then don't participate - no pressure, the choice is totally yours.

  12. #32

    Re: Bamís ban

    Truth is, with your personality you'd a got banned sooner or later anyway.

  13. #33
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    Re: Bamís ban

    Quote Originally Posted by georgiannecoskey View Post
    Truth is, with your personality you'd a got banned sooner or later anyway.
    Tell us geo, why are you using the exact words I used in post number 4? As well as doing the same thing on the neighboring women getting kicked off welfare post. Are you the dog ass salesman you appear to be? Looks like it to me.
    Last edited by frog; September 21, 2022 at 1:20 PM.
    Every day I make the world a little bit worse.

  14. #34
    Senior Member mgtower's Avatar
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    Re: Bamís ban

    Quote Originally Posted by frog View Post
    Tell us geo, why are you using the exact words I used in post number 4? As well as doing the same thing on the neighboring women getting kicked off welfare post. Are you the dog ass salesman you appear to be? Looks like it to me.
    Dumbass didn't have enough sense to use a different avatar from a couple weeks ago when he was banned under a different name.

    I told him then to watch out for a bigmouth bass disguised as a payphone. (frog with sunglasses avatar)

    Internet clowns and their clown shows.
    Bundle up, boys, it's gonna be a long cold endless winter.


  15. #35
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    Re: Bamís ban

    Quote Originally Posted by frog View Post
    Tell us geo, why are you using the exact words I used in post number 4? As well as doing the same thing on the neighboring women getting kicked off welfare post. Are you the dog ass salesman you appear to be? Looks like it to me.
    Mimicry is said to be the greatest form of flattery.

    I think frog has an admirer.


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