Thread: There's no turning back.

I have had several decades of living in the blue pill world. In fact I have never personally known anyone that had a view that was really red pill at all. I did have a few friends in high school that seemed to have some understanding of things but they all have all married now and live a blue pill existence.

I dated 3 gals in the high school years. The first two should have taught me some lessons but I just assumed that I hadn't found the NAWALT that I was looking for. I had become really negative toward relationships and didn't want to date for a while. I was introduced to the third gal by a family member. I made it clear that I wasn't interested and she seemed to like me even more. I spent some time with her as friends and eventually I called her my girlfriend.

After dating through high school and college I eventually asked her to marry me because I felt like it was the right thing to do as we were religious at that time. We married and had kids and lived that life for about 25 years. It was good as far as I knew but then again I only compared to other married people that I knew. It seemed that our marriage was better than most.

I look back now and realize that over those years that I stopped communicating with my friends. I gave up most of my hobbies and interests except those that could be done at home. The reason was that it was just easier than to argue or have a discussion about these things and I guess that one by one I just let them slip away. I became kind of a boring and introverted person. I was already a bit introverted to begin with.

We continued a routine existence for 20+ years. Our conversations became top water and tended to be about what was for dinner or which dvd we would watch next. Our sex lives dwindled as well. I was always willing but I knew that it wasn't going to happen but once or on occassion twice per week. All of these things to me were just part of marriage. Everyone that I talked with about it agreed that it is just the way things are.

A new neighbor moved in. He was newly single. She had talked to him in the yard from time to time and he told her about all of his issues. I was working on a project and didn't notice that she was spending more and more time with him. Well I noticed but I knew her so well that I thought she was just being nice and lending an ear to someone that needed to unload.

I noticed her behavior was changing. She was excited in a way that she hadn't been for years. She talked constantly about the neighbor and his kids. It escalated over a few months to the point where things got more strange to me and ultimately we had the talk. She said she didn't want to be married anymore. She told me I was the perfect husband but then said "but that's not what I want anymore".

This sent me into a downward spiral. I tried for months and months to work through it with her. It was during this time that I read TRM and then found the manosphere. I have read forums and blogs every day for probably 20 months now. I now feel like I was duped by social conditioning to think that marriage ever made any sense.

I love my kids and I am still friendly with my ex, but I regret all that I gave up over all of those years (my friends, my personality, my hobbies and interests, and of course all of the finances that I had worked so hard on for US). At this point I have a good understanding of exactly what happened. I now also understand that marriage no longer makes sense in this day and age with the legal climate that we have.

I'm not really sure that it ever really made sense anyway. My ex continues to drop red pills regularly. She says things like "marriage kills sexual passion", "its hard to enjoy someone when you're around them every day" and she tells me about her friends and how they plot to find a man to take care of them.

I now understand a lot more about what makes a woman tick. At this point I'm not sure if I want to even consider a short term realationship (for lack of a better word) with any woman. What I do know is that I want to embrace the new found freedom that I now have had thrust upon me and I want to find out what I really like to do and who I really am.

Originally Posted by RATM

It was good as far as I knew but then again I only compared to other married people that I knew. It seemed that our marriage was better than most.
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Our sex lives dwindled as well. I was always willing but I knew that it wasn't going to happen but once or on occassion twice per week.

Sex once or twice a week? Hell - your marriage was better than most.

Welcome to the forums, dude.

Thank you, RATM, for a great intro!

Comparing your story to others - including Mr Wombat's - I would venture to say you did indeed have a good marriage, by modern standards, and a far less devastating divorce than most. And yes, now it's YOUR turn.

Thanks guys. Like most marriages we had our ups and downs and we went almost two years without any sexual activity at one point (after the second child). It was at that point that I said that I made the offer to either work on our physical relationship or divorce. We never went for a long time like that again, but that certainly isn't to say that she was eager and excited participant all of the time. It's funny, but when you've been married for a long time, you will settle with going through the motions.

Also, I forgot to mention that my username (RATM) are the initials of a popular 90s band - Rage Against the Machine. These guys were awesome and most of their songs dealt in some way with injustice and or oppressive systems of government.

That sounds like marriage to me today. It is an oppressive system that is unjust and creates slaves of men.

Originally Posted by RATM

What I do know is that I want to embrace the new found freedom that I now have had thrust upon me and I want to find out what I really like to do and who I really am.

Welcome, Rage. I hope that you can really enjoy this part of your life!

Welcome to the forums bro and me too welcomed here. but are you really tellingtruth about sex.

And you look over at MMSL and see those folks getting laid like tile...

If you ever feel down and out or depressed, may I suggest a trip to a cheap foreign country you want to see. It'll give you a breath of fresh air and the hot girls, if you want them, are more than happy to jump on your cock and make you realize how valuable you really are.

Yep I like to travel, but have never done so as a single man. Thanks for the advice.

welcome to the boards