
Originally Posted by
EffYouImOut
Hey Guys,
So I'm 33 YO, 5'10, make 85k a year (just obtained a certification and am slated to make more soon), have my own apartment, rate an 8.5 on photofeeler (edited photos rate 9.0-9.5) and am a 33-year-old virgin who's been actively trying to date and sleep with women for the last two years, but still haven't gotten laid, and have pretty much come to the conclusion that the juice absolutely is not worth the squeeze.
To give a little more context, I've been busting my ass doing cold-approach in malls and busy areas trying to get dates (well over 1,000 approaches!), spending money on professional photographers, paying for premium OLD accounts, dressing well, having my shit together, being a conscientious and overall good guy, having a good job in a good field, not being an asshole, etc. and I still have not managed to get a girl to actually have sex with me and/or be in a relationship with me. I have had a few close calls, but given the amount of time and effort I have put into this, close calls aren't good enough. In short, I've put in an astronomical amount of effort into getting dates / laid/ a girlfriend and still have nothing to show for it. I provide this information to you so that you cannot knock me for coming to the conclusion that dating is not worth the effort, at least for me. I have done a ton of work, and yet it still is not good enough to satisfy women's unreasonable expectations.
A part of me is sad/angry that a reasonably high-quality guy like me cannot get even an iota of the results I was expecting to get once I started dating. Its unfair that a game I want to be a part of is rigged so much against my favor. However, the market is indifferent to my feelings, and therefore I must be indifferent to the demands of the market and accept the situations (both macro and micro) for what it is.
I will probably improve more, but constantly trying to level-up, when so much of it is out of my control (e.g., Boss liking me so he can give me a promotion, hiring staff liking my resume, quitting my current job to jump ship elsewhere not knowing if it's going to be a better/worse environment) is just exhausting. I'm tired of having to prove myself to the world just to get a few crumbs thrown at me, but fuck it may as well try.
However, accepting the dating market for what it is is going to be a huge relief for me. I now know that I have given this dating thing an honest shot, and it just did not work out for me, so on to the next endeavor! I am thinking of joining some kind of martial arts to hopefully make some guy friends. I have tried hiking groups, but they are chock-full of gays trying to get it in with me, lesbians, and old ladies I have nothing in common with, which is unfortunate because I love hiking. I may try a few others, but they are co-ed and my observation with co-ed groups is that there are a lot of guys jockeying for status to look good in front of the girls.
Also, I'm going to spend more time with my family. They are nearby and they are the only people who truly give a fuck about me, so mine as well spend some time with them.
Also, I may try to move out of my expensive west-coast city. However, moving to some backwater area may be difficult because my job requires me to be near a big city because my job basically depends on large corporate / organizations, although I can always make a change.
Anyways, that's it for now. Thank you if you've read this far. I'm looking forward to being part of a community that won't gaslight me, tell me to "try harder", or judge me for making decisions that don't align with what's accepted by the mainstream, but is rational and appropriate given the current environment.