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  1. #1
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    Looking forward to the rest of my life on my terms! This is my story...

    Hey all - happy to be here, and this is my story:

    I was raised in a fairly typical middle class family - I have one younger brother and things seemed normal until my parents divorced when I was 13 (only then did I realize they also had a separation about 5 years earlier that lasted a month or so). My mom left (yes, another man) and my dad raised us both until it was time to head out on our own. We did have visits with mom of course, but after about a year she moved about 2 hours away (following said man) - effectively abandoning me and my brother (who was 11 at the time). Sporadic visits continued - long story short, I still do have a good relationship with my mom (we've been closer at times), but the events of my childhood still linger.

    Yes - unusual to have my dad be the one to keep and raise the kids - we were certainly the exception. He did a fine job and was a good man (passed away a few years ago, he was living with my family here on our farm at the time). Probably worth mentioning he spent the next 30 years with 3 different serious women (2 common-law, one marriage) and died essentially broke (financially and emotionally). Each of these woman were manipulating, greedy psychopaths - but my dad just couldn't fathom being on his own...

    On to me - I suppose the divorce of my parents had me acting out - I had fathered 3 boys by the time I was 20 (at 17, 18 and 20) - all the same girl (despite needing to get paternity tests as she was a bit "loose" as they say). It was quite a nightmare for the next 13 years - having to pay support while she was on welfare, having more kids and doing nothing - literally nothing - not feeding the boys, endless abusive boyfriends etc. while I made something of myself (went to university, have a bachelor's and MBA, had a great banking career although never amassed much wealth). I eventually had the boys come to live with me when they were 8, 10 and 11 - out of necessity and an ultimatum (I said I'm taking them now or walking out of their lives forever - I'll give her credit here as she knew what was best for them).

    At 24 I met my current wife and we married when I was 27. The boys came to live with us after about 1 year of marriage. To her and her family's credit, all were very accepting and supportive of the rather unusual situation. A few years later turned into a nightmare with the boys' mother, custody battles, (filled with constant lies and accusations, calls to Children's Aid etc - none of which were validated but like it mattered - by default the woman is always right. The two oldest boys went to live with her (as teens the judge said it was their decision), the youngest stayed with me.

    We have 1 daughter (14) - I am now almost 46 and we mutually decided to end the marriage a few months ago (its been over for awhile, but we had just been going through the motions).

    The marriage was fine for the most part - sex was great but erratic from a regularity standpoint. We generally enjoyed each other's company but never connected intellectually (she is rather boring and uninterested in anything outside of her career, and likely says the same thing about me).

    We have a farm (livestock, orchards, draft horses) and my oldest and youngest sons live here as well. My daughter is staying with me (wife has already moved out), I keep the farm, she keeps her pension (teacher). She is evidently going through the female version of a mid-life crisis as well, and may have someone else already (or even before we decided to split) - either way I couldn't care less. All in all a good situation considering the nightmares most men go through - but we have no animosity towards each other and do want what is best for our daughter (she would never take this farm away from her as it's her life, and the ex never really had an interest in this life, so an easy decision).

    Why am I going my own way? My uncle is an inspiration - after divorcing my aunt (amicably but expensively as he had to pay her out) and then trying another live-in relationship (a bit of a shit show) - he has gone his own way for 6-7 years and couldn't be happier. House is how he wants it, as is his time, money etc. My father's experience frightens me - and ultimately I like being on my own and doing my own thing anyway. I'm not always easy to be around (high standards, I can withdraw socially etc) so it isn't just about having zero interest in another relationship with a woman (given my experience).

    The choice to end our marriage was nothing but relief for me (aside from concern over my daughter - she had no idea and was quite upset - but she has accepted it and is the same great kid now). I've thoroughly enjoyed these last few months (re-arranging my life/home on my terms) and I have zero interest in ever getting into a relationship etc again with a woman. I'm looking forward to this being the way my life will be for the rest of my days.

    My biggest fear is for my daughter - we are extremely close, and I truly want her to be happy and have a family of her own someday, but I'm concerned she will see my example and think she has to do anything/everything possible to keep a man happy. I just don't agree with that either. I will do my best to continue to raise her to be a strong, confident, independent woman (and certainly not a feminist!) - hopefully a woman that understands (what I consider) to be the best role for her as a woman - a mother and caretaker of her home/family to a strong and supportive husband. I concede the last part may be somewhat outside of the philosophy of this group - but hey, to each their own I suppose.

    Looking forward to having some interesting and supportive discussions around here - hopefully I can be a bit of a guiding light for some of those in the community who aren't in a terrible situation but know there is a better way and just aren't sure how to move forward.

  2. #2
    Senior Member mgtower's Avatar
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    Re: Looking forward to the rest of my life on my terms! This is my story...

    Man, you got more baggage than Chicago's O'Hare international on a holiday weekend! (just an observation) Me filling your shoes is like Peter Pan trying to fly whiles being hand cuffed to a 440 magnum engine block!

    Just the thought of responsibility and accountability to a modern woman and her madness makes me scratch like poison ivy!

  3. #3
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    Re: Looking forward to the rest of my life on my terms! This is my story...

    Ha! Appreciate the levity.

    On a serious note, you reminded me of the years of "wow, you are so lucky to have found such a great woman with all that baggage" that I received from literally everyone (family, friends etc.) as if she was some kind of saint and I was nothing but a POS, and that maybe I had merits as an individual...

    I feel that situation is completely reversed now - I could offer an ideallic/dream life to a woman (thriving farm/homestead, 4 beautiful draft horses and I'm a decent enough looking and nice guy) - but as you said, the idea of responsibility/accountability and all the other nonsense that would come with that literally turns my stomach!

    It's very freeing to realize this (not that I would know but I imagine it's something like getting out of prison).

    I've never had a clearer and more comfortable vision of my future.

  4. #4
    Administrator Unboxxed's Avatar
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    Re: Looking forward to the rest of my life on my terms! This is my story...

    Quote Originally Posted by KRFJames View Post
    Hey all - happy to be here, and this is my story:

    I was raised in a fairly typical middle class family - I have one younger brother and things seemed normal until my parents divorced when I was 13 (only then did I realize they also had a separation about 5 years earlier that lasted a month or so). My mom left (yes, another man) and my dad raised us both until it was time to head out on our own. We did have visits with mom of course, but after about a year she moved about 2 hours away (following said man) - effectively abandoning me and my brother (who was 11 at the time). Sporadic visits continued - long story short, I still do have a good relationship with my mom (we've been closer at times), but the events of my childhood still linger.

    Yes - unusual to have my dad be the one to keep and raise the kids - we were certainly the exception. He did a fine job and was a good man (passed away a few years ago, he was living with my family here on our farm at the time). Probably worth mentioning he spent the next 30 years with 3 different serious women (2 common-law, one marriage) and died essentially broke (financially and emotionally). Each of these woman were manipulating, greedy psychopaths - but my dad just couldn't fathom being on his own...

    On to me - I suppose the divorce of my parents had me acting out - I had fathered 3 boys by the time I was 20 (at 17, 18 and 20) - all the same girl (despite needing to get paternity tests as she was a bit "loose" as they say). It was quite a nightmare for the next 13 years - having to pay support while she was on welfare, having more kids and doing nothing - literally nothing - not feeding the boys, endless abusive boyfriends etc. while I made something of myself (went to university, have a bachelor's and MBA, had a great banking career although never amassed much wealth). I eventually had the boys come to live with me when they were 8, 10 and 11 - out of necessity and an ultimatum (I said I'm taking them now or walking out of their lives forever - I'll give her credit here as she knew what was best for them).

    At 24 I met my current wife and we married when I was 27. The boys came to live with us after about 1 year of marriage. To her and her family's credit, all were very accepting and supportive of the rather unusual situation. A few years later turned into a nightmare with the boys' mother, custody battles, (filled with constant lies and accusations, calls to Children's Aid etc - none of which were validated but like it mattered - by default the woman is always right. The two oldest boys went to live with her (as teens the judge said it was their decision), the youngest stayed with me.

    We have 1 daughter (14) - I am now almost 46 and we mutually decided to end the marriage a few months ago (its been over for awhile, but we had just been going through the motions).

    The marriage was fine for the most part - sex was great but erratic from a regularity standpoint. We generally enjoyed each other's company but never connected intellectually (she is rather boring and uninterested in anything outside of her career, and likely says the same thing about me).

    We have a farm (livestock, orchards, draft horses) and my oldest and youngest sons live here as well. My daughter is staying with me (wife has already moved out), I keep the farm, she keeps her pension (teacher). She is evidently going through the female version of a mid-life crisis as well, and may have someone else already (or even before we decided to split) - either way I couldn't care less. All in all a good situation considering the nightmares most men go through - but we have no animosity towards each other and do want what is best for our daughter (she would never take this farm away from her as it's her life, and the ex never really had an interest in this life, so an easy decision).

    Why am I going my own way? My uncle is an inspiration - after divorcing my aunt (amicably but expensively as he had to pay her out) and then trying another live-in relationship (a bit of a shit show) - he has gone his own way for 6-7 years and couldn't be happier. House is how he wants it, as is his time, money etc. My father's experience frightens me - and ultimately I like being on my own and doing my own thing anyway. I'm not always easy to be around (high standards, I can withdraw socially etc) so it isn't just about having zero interest in another relationship with a woman (given my experience).

    The choice to end our marriage was nothing but relief for me (aside from concern over my daughter - she had no idea and was quite upset - but she has accepted it and is the same great kid now). I've thoroughly enjoyed these last few months (re-arranging my life/home on my terms) and I have zero interest in ever getting into a relationship etc again with a woman. I'm looking forward to this being the way my life will be for the rest of my days.

    My biggest fear is for my daughter - we are extremely close, and I truly want her to be happy and have a family of her own someday, but I'm concerned she will see my example and think she has to do anything/everything possible to keep a man happy. I just don't agree with that either. I will do my best to continue to raise her to be a strong, confident, independent woman (and certainly not a feminist!) - hopefully a woman that understands (what I consider) to be the best role for her as a woman - a mother and caretaker of her home/family to a strong and supportive husband. I concede the last part may be somewhat outside of the philosophy of this group - but hey, to each their own I suppose.

    Looking forward to having some interesting and supportive discussions around here - hopefully I can be a bit of a guiding light for some of those in the community who aren't in a terrible situation but know there is a better way and just aren't sure how to move forward.

    Hi KRFJames,

    Thank you for your Intro. If you are not divorced legally yet, I hope that experience doesn't rake you over the coals.

    those in the community who aren't in a terrible situation but know there is a better way and just aren't sure how to move forward.
    Probably the lurkers and other nonmembers will be the ones to benefit because registered membership here is restricted to those who have already figured their way out and found the better way, the MGTOW way, as you have, and, like you, have sworn off relationships for the rest of their lives.

    At this time, as a new member, please read our Principles by clicking on that word at the top of the page, in the black bar.

    Thank you, and Welcome!
    The two most important days in your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why. - Mark Twain

    The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.
    - Henry David Thoreau

    There are 10 types of people in the world - those who understand binary, and those who don't.

    Suitable for bookmarking: www.fakehatecrimes.org and www.breitbart.com/tag/hate-crime-hoax


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