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  1. #1
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    Here because I'm tired of the ridiculousness

    I'm here because I've spent 13 or so years now trying to make women happy and trying to make it work with them and I am just done. I have now been through 3 long term relationships and 2 live-in relationships and I just do not find modern women to be sensible human beings that I find worthy of my time and dedication - and I am a dedicated guy. Women just put men through hell nonstop and I kind of regret that I find myself starting to make conclusions from my experience, because I tend to be an optimistic guy and I don't like to generalize.

    They are obsessed with novelty and travel, they constantly want to spend your money on extra bullshit (deserts, eating out, crap for the house, etc), they want to pretend that they have all of the same attributes that we do, but conveniently opt out when it's time for them to pull their weight, they do not put family or you first in life, but expect you to put them first. They force you to do everything they want under the threat that they will make your life miserable, which should be called what it is - abusive.

    I have always wanted marriage and family, but I am finding myself at a crossroads here. Why do we put up with it when the other option is so much easier? What are they giving us that makes it worth all the bullshit? In today's world, I am struggling to find that answer. You can't find a girl today that is willing to give and receive in a natural manner, all you can find are these girls who might as well be one of your bros because all they do is work and live with you. They are insulted to cook for you, you will end up doing most of the housework, and they don't want kids, but you're still expected to have the willpower to empathetically listen to their whining and crying everyday about the basic adversities of life. Why? Where is the incentive for men these days? I am failing to see the other part of the transaction here. It used to be that a woman would be your wife, take your last name, have your kids, and make your house a home and it was on you to protect, provide, and devote yourself to her and your family's happiness. Now that might not be perfectly fair in everyone's eyes today, but it sounds like more of a proper deal to me - and a valiant enough challenge to be of interest to a traditional man. But, why would I marry a girl if the most important thing in her life is work and she wants to put my toddler in daycare? That's not attractive at all for a reproductively minded man and I might as well just room with one of my bros. On top of that, men in the past didn't even place work first, they worked to provide for their family. It was a sacrifice to build a future. Both men and women made what was deemed a worthy sacrifice. These women today view work like it's a holy duty or something and I am just not that attracted to them.

    Even if you do find an old-school girl, she'll still put you through hell though. One of my exes' parents were the perfect stepford couple. This dude was an upstanding guy, super responsible, kind, giving, always held down a job, would never leave or cheat on her, was always around for the kids, etc, etc. But she still regularly went to see a therapist where she would bitch and moan about how unhappy she was and how unfulfilled she was with him - he wasn't romantic enough, wasn't spontaneous, etc, etc. Like, man... that guy isn't even good enough? Maybe get used to real life? Real life isn't a movie and every other day can't be a trip to Paris. Just the vanity of it all...

    As far as my situation goes, I am still in a live-in relationship with an unstable workaholic who needs constant novelty and stimulation, and I am considering walking out on her - as in leaving and not coming back, even though it is my apartment from the beginning. I can at least say that I can now understand why there are stories about guys who, "go to the grocery store" and never come back. I may have to be one of those guys and it's going to be awesome because it's my life and I can do what I want with it.

    But hey, I'm glad to be here and possibly talk with some people who are on the same page as me.

  2. #2
    Administrator Unboxxed's Avatar
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    Re: Here because I'm tired of the ridiculousness

    Yours is a very sane assessment of the female experience. I concur with all of it, enjoyed that you noticed the vanity of it all. Why do we put up with it?

    Well, actually, those who go MGTOW do not put up with it. When I was younger, in the 70s, I was very sensitive to the fact that to be with a girl, for all of the things you described, it seemed like I was abandoning my way of life to adopt her way of life but was not supposed to notice? All the other guys did it, it seemed to me, so what groove did they find that I could not find? I had much psychological pressure like that going on in my head, but I can look back today and respect myself for those observations, the ones you are now making. Life could have been a smoother ride, though, if back then I had the knowledge that many other guys were like me in this thinking.

    Welcome.
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  3. #3

    Re: Here because I'm tired of the ridiculousness

    "They force you to do everything they want under the threat that they will make your life miserable, which should be called what it is - abusive."

    "Even if you do find an old-school girl, she'll still put you through hell though."

    To be fair, I would do the same if all laws and culture were on my side protecting me.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Malinois's Avatar
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    Re: Here because I'm tired of the ridiculousness

    Top-Notch!

    Hit the Nail on the Head!

    Welcome.

  5. #5
    Senior Member mgtower's Avatar
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    Re: Here because I'm tired of the ridiculousness

    Calm down, sit down, it's time to take life off, not an afternoon, not a day, not a month, but an entire life freed from endless bullshit modern times delivers!

    Everything you said rings true here in the hall of truths, the only thing I don't see is any length of time where you have enjoyed a life of liberty without them.

    Solace is a lifestyle that grows on you, but one can never know this until they're happy to be alone and realize how much better life is without them. I ghosted when I was in your position with the exact same thoughts, that was in the 90's and my life took off like a rocket! Before the 90's misery, after the 90's, no misery, looking back on dating and women is like looking back at a dark storm cloud flashing with lightning!

    You got the talk, but can you walk the walk? That's the only question I see, and if you ask me, it's time to take a walk and try some you for a while, you just might like it!

  6. #6
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    Re: Here because I'm tired of the ridiculousness

    ANd that's just relationships dude. Now that your eyes have been forced open by experience, they will be blinded by the bollocks we're expected to be silent about, when you observe now with a more analytical eye.
    Last edited by Hypernova; September 30, 2021 at 1:49 PM.

  7. #7
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    Re: Here because I'm tired of the ridiculousness

    Thank you all for the warm welcome. It feels great to be understood and do a little venting lol.

    Quote Originally Posted by Hello_World View Post
    To be fair, I would do the same if all laws and culture were on my side protecting me.
    I don't even think that's the whole story here though. I don't think that they make this calculation in their heads that society is weighted in their favor and then decide to act ridiculous. I think they literally can't help it. They're just extra and needy by nature. Women were programmed to need things and men were given the tools and rationality to solve problems, so we solve their problems. The difference in modern times is that we don't get anything out of the interaction. Sex you could say, but that trump card is so manipulative because they fully know what they are doing there. Once we stop caring about sex they are doomed. That is why I am the gatekeeper to sex in my relationship. Not her.

    Quote Originally Posted by Unboxxed View Post
    Yours is a very sane assessment of the female experience. I concur with all of it, enjoyed that you noticed the vanity of it all. Why do we put up with it?
    Yeah, the vanity... it just blows my mind that literally all of them are about more, more, more in some shape or form. The only reason I'd ever buy something stupid like a cake with no occasion at a grocery store is if I'm with a girl. Like what is that? Why are they obsessed with everything extraneous? I can't help but think that the only reason I ever have to put up with this stupidity is because I made a decision that this is worth it for some reason. Men are happy being, women need.

    Quote Originally Posted by mgtower View Post
    Everything you said rings true here in the hall of truths, the only thing I don't see is any length of time where you have enjoyed a life of liberty without them.

    Solace is a lifestyle that grows on you, but one can never know this until they're happy to be alone and realize how much better life is without them. I ghosted when I was in your position with the exact same thoughts, that was in the 90's and my life took off like a rocket! Before the 90's misery, after the 90's, no misery, looking back on dating and women is like looking back at a dark storm cloud flashing with lightning!

    You got the talk, but can you walk the walk? That's the only question I see, and if you ask me, it's time to take a walk and try some you for a while, you just might like it!
    That is true. The longest break I have had has been 8 months in the last 13 years. Always thought that kind of said good things about me, but I find myself dreaming of being on my own now. I know life is just a game and I can do what I want with mine, but walking out on someone, like I have assessed I would probably have to do is a doozy. I see it as an evil that I am possibly being forced to commit. It's an unfair situation I find myself in, but I guess those are the breaks. So you just up and left with no clue or anything? I'd be interested to hear your story. I do love solace.

  8. #8
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    Re: Here because I'm tired of the ridiculousness

    I've been a mgtow for a while now. The way I see the world is that women are encouraged not to love men in a romantic way. They are indoctrinated to see men as oppressors. Some men buy into this shit too and fall at the feet of women hoping to get a sniff of pussy. Since women see men in this way, they are little more than additional competition for resources, just like every other man in the world. Sure we could work together as a team at times for mutual benefit, but I don't just want an accomplice, I want a bloody feminine woman and mother to my children who loves righteous masculinity as passionately as I do righteous femininity. It's a very sane and sober thing to ask, but romance has been killed by feminism. Of course TPTB would rather people like me didn't exist. I'm someone who believes in a world where there is no killing. Do you think the farmers who capitalize enormously on the slaughter of harmless animals want people like me opposing their lucrative business? Nope, because they would lose everything they've unfairly gained. It's the same with women. We get shut down and shamed for having greater standards than the average human because we choose to benefit ourselves instead of lining women's pockets.

    The world we live in is a corporate dream. Think Jurassic Park, or Robocop. Everything is commodifiable. Even human life.

  9. #9
    Senior Member mgtower's Avatar
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    Re: Here because I'm tired of the ridiculousness

    Quote Originally Posted by Gravemind View Post
    Thank you all for the warm welcome. It feels great to be understood and do a little venting lol.



    I don't even think that's the whole story here though. I don't think that they make this calculation in their heads that society is weighted in their favor and then decide to act ridiculous. I think they literally can't help it. They're just extra and needy by nature. Women were programmed to need things and men were given the tools and rationality to solve problems, so we solve their problems. The difference in modern times is that we don't get anything out of the interaction. Sex you could say, but that trump card is so manipulative because they fully know what they are doing there. Once we stop caring about sex they are doomed. That is why I am the gatekeeper to sex in my relationship. Not her.



    Yeah, the vanity... it just blows my mind that literally all of them are about more, more, more in some shape or form. The only reason I'd ever buy something stupid like a cake with no occasion at a grocery store is if I'm with a girl. Like what is that? Why are they obsessed with everything extraneous? I can't help but think that the only reason I ever have to put up with this stupidity is because I made a decision that this is worth it for some reason. Men are happy being, women need.



    That is true. The longest break I have had has been 8 months in the last 13 years. Always thought that kind of said good things about me, but I find myself dreaming of being on my own now. I know life is just a game and I can do what I want with mine, but walking out on someone, like I have assessed I would probably have to do is a doozy. I see it as an evil that I am possibly being forced to commit. It's an unfair situation I find myself in, but I guess those are the breaks. So you just up and left with no clue or anything? I'd be interested to hear your story. I do love solace.
    I see it as an evil that I am possibly being forced to commit.
    On the contrary, the evil is in denying yourself the freedom you thirst for by commitment to something not worth committing, good money chased bad money down the same drain, the key is to be selfish for your own good and not place women on a pedestal built of self sacrificing honor, it's recipe for emotional drudgery and freedom thirst unquenched.

    So you just up and left with no clue or anything? I'd be interested to hear your story.
    Which story? I was a speed dater that didn't stick around long, and when I did things only got progressively worse.

    As for who cut who loose and why, I answered emotional abuse with absents, when they start twisting knives I leave before they get vicious without goodbyes, when they can do things I would never dream of it's time for me to leave and burn the bridge that binds us, no going back, no making up, no high-school fuck-around, I don't ride emotional rollercoasters that eventually run out of track, I always go off when the getting was good and the sting of her emotional slap was still fresh on my face.

    I don't give or receive shit, I'm not a toilet in the shit business, they can dump somewhere else, on someone else, for as long as time ticks for them, life it too precious to waste it burning out on women and all they do and don't do to make life with them compatible.

    I basically made myself a set of rules to follow based on my interactions with them and believe me, with modern women it doesn't take long for them to say "I thought you said fool not rule, how can you blame me for misunderstanding? It's all your fault!", zero humility, or accountability for pushing me over the cliff of indifference.

    You can't tame emotional insanity, all you can do is flee the asylum!

    Oh another thing, if you pay attention to modern life, you'll find yourself in a systematic rinse & repeat until you change the cycle to dry, then fold your tent for the very last time and set up up camp by yourself where you don't have to worry about a rude awakening like your tent being on fire!

    Every woman out there knows they lost a good man and are too proud to admit it, leave alone rectify it!

    Pride goes before the fall and modern women have fallen greatly.

  10. #10
    Senior Member MGTOWFOREVER's Avatar
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    Re: Here because I'm tired of the ridiculousness

    Welcome my friend!

    You are in good company!

  11. #11
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    Re: Here because I'm tired of the ridiculousness

    Quote Originally Posted by Gravemind View Post
    Even if you do find an old-school girl, she'll still put you through hell though. One of my exes' parents were the perfect stepford couple. This dude was an upstanding guy, super responsible, kind, giving, always held down a job, would never leave or cheat on her, was always around for the kids, etc, etc. But she still regularly went to see a therapist where she would bitch and moan about how unhappy she was and how unfulfilled she was with him - he wasn't romantic enough, wasn't spontaneous, etc, etc. Like, man... that guy isn't even good enough? Maybe get used to real life? Real life isn't a movie and every other day can't be a trip to Paris. Just the vanity of it all...

    .
    If I had to choose between Trad woman or Modern, I think I would choose modern. She would at least work to some degree and kids wouldn't be the first priority for her. That of course is if I couldn't do what I am doing now which would be to choose neither!

    Just like nuclear war, the only way to win is not to play!

    Hope you enjoy it here. Sorry to hear about your troubles.

  12. #12
    Super Moderator Mr Wombat's Avatar
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    Re: Here because I'm tired of the ridiculousness

    Quote Originally Posted by Gravemind View Post
    But she still regularly went to see a therapist where she would bitch and moan about how unhappy she was and how unfulfilled she was with him - he wasn't romantic enough, wasn't spontaneous, etc, etc. Like, man... that guy isn't even good enough? Maybe get used to real life? Real life isn't a movie and every other day can't be a trip to Paris. Just the vanity of it all...
    How did you find out about this - let me guess, she told you. I too had a mate's wife try this on - telling me that hubby just didn't last long enough in bed. Bitches ain't loyal.

  13. #13
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    Re: Here because I'm tired of the ridiculousness

    Quote Originally Posted by Kryptic View Post
    If I had to choose between Trad woman or Modern, I think I would choose modern. She would at least work to some degree and kids wouldn't be the first priority for her. That of course is if I couldn't do what I am doing now which would be to choose neither!

    Just like nuclear war, the only way to win is not to play!

    Hope you enjoy it here. Sorry to hear about your troubles.
    Thanks for the welcome. This is my confusion with this modern situation we find ourselves in. If I am being honest, I am a reproductively driven male and I have been cursed with an eye for what is natural - i.e. I've always wanted a woman whose primary concern in life was to build a life with me and raise my kids. I'd always expected to be the provider. These roles are in our nature, there's no getting around it and raising children into well-functioning adults should be the primary concern of society. What we're doing right now in modern life is playing a fake little entitled game and pretending that these roles aren't nature. That we've grown past all that, and men are putting up with it because that's what we do - compromise for sex.

    However, all that said, modern relationships don't have much to offer men. Again, why would I want to date someone who is basically cosplaying as a man? So they don't have much to offer us, but on top of that, they hold all of the cards legally and socially, so I find myself thinking that if I ever got married I would want my wife to work so that she wouldn't have any excuses to take all of my money and enslave me to her should she decide that she is bored and unfulfilled on some whim 10 years into the marriage.

    Quote Originally Posted by Mr Wombat View Post
    How did you find out about this - let me guess, she told you. I too had a mate's wife try this on - telling me that hubby just didn't last long enough in bed. Bitches ain't loyal.
    You got it. She told me... her daughter's boyfriend... i.e. she dinged her husband's worth in front of some kid (as I was in my early 20's at the time).

  14. #14

    Re: Here because I'm tired of the ridiculousness

    I enjoyed the self-insightful summary. I notice the caution in making conclusions from your own experience. That's a challenge, because our personal "sample" of the female population and their behavior is limited. But time goes on and the same things keep coming up, over and over, and then eventually the wreckage starts becoming more apparent among the men who didn't take the red pill. I know many men who are ruined at 40,50,60+ years old. And very few who signed a marriage contract and stuck with it appear to be honestly happy.

    On the issue of "unstable workaholic needing constant novelty and stimulation". I've had recent experience with that. Female acquaintance/sort of friend. Default state of mind is unhappiness to severe depressive episodes. Novelty and stimulation provide temporary relief. Income producing work doesn't produce enough excitement. Relationships eventually become boring as well. She can only keep the most casual relationships going and usually not for long. I think the novelty and stimulation hunger is nearly universal among women, but some have it ramped up to a far more self destructive degree. It looks like you have it about figured out.
    Last edited by BeenThereDoneThat; October 14, 2021 at 6:59 PM.

  15. #15
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    Re: Here because I'm tired of the ridiculousness

    I thoroughly enjoyed this. I have taken notice of how guys in relationships. It’s total nonsense. I was sharing a flat with an Asian girl living in UK. Her husband was living back home in Asia. They met once a year for a few days. The rest of the year he would listen to her bitch several hours on the phone, free therapy. She called this “boy and the kite”, the kite would do its own thing but they would always be connected. Stuff like this, normal.


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