Thread: "Yes Dear", the secret to a happy marriage

I just got back from my dads wedding, yep a man in his 70's getting married again.... Putting that aside, during one of the parties the men, all married besides me, ranging from 40's to 70's were all sitting around bragging/talking about how their marriages had lasted so long. There were no women/wives around to pander to, only a group of men. One of them said all you need to know is "Yes Dear", and all the other slaves agreed and toasted to that. I'm in the process of ending marriage number 2, apparently because I never grasped the concept of letting a mental midget tell me what to do and my only response is "Yes Dear". Can anyone on this board explain to me how seemingly 90%+ of men accept this notion that keeping one half a partnership happy by acquiescing to them on every issue is the basis of a good relationship? I've had/have business partners, and have never been remotely close to a situation like that.

I have only had very limited relationship experience. I did have one woman get upset at me because I’m not the type to lower myself to someone else, apparently that is bad for relationships.

The other line you hear a lot from married men is “Just apologise” for what? “Everything”.

And let’s not forget “Happy wife, happy life” and “when mamma ain’t happy, no is happy”.

Says it all really, being married like being held hostage.

I got news for you guys, the secret to a good marriage is still a secret! It's right up there with the tooth fairy, and what makes Santa's reindeer able to fly.

I used to have talks with my ex’s uncle all the time. He was one of the few relatives on her side I actually liked. This poor bastard was married to the biggest bitch on the planet. She was fat and ugly to boot. I’ve never seen a guy as hen pecked as he was.

One time we were into about beer # 12 when I asked him how he can possibly stand it. He said there’s three phrases every married man needs to keep ready at all times- “Yes dear”, “I apologize dear”, and “It won’t happen again dear”. I got a chuckle out of it at the time, but now it’s just sad.

He died of liver cancer about a year later, and a part of me still thinks he almost got it on purpose some how just to be done with her. The bitch was literally on the phone selling off his shit before he died, right in front of him.

The shit some guys will tolerate is sometimes beyond belief (including myself back in the day).

Pussy whipped... each and every one of them.

Originally Posted by Survivor64

I used to have talks with my ex’s uncle all the time. He was one of the few relatives on her side I actually liked. This poor bastard was married to the biggest bitch on the planet. She was fat and ugly to boot. I’ve never seen a guy as hen pecked as he was.

One time we were into about beer # 12 when I asked him how he can possibly stand it. He said there’s three phrases every married man needs to keep ready at all times- “Yes dear”, “I apologize dear”, and “It won’t happen again dear”. I got a chuckle out of it at the time, but now it’s just sad.

He died of liver cancer about a year later, and a part of me still thinks he almost got it on purpose some how just to be done with her. The bitch was literally on the phone selling off his shit before he died, right in front of him.

The shit some guys will tolerate is sometimes beyond belief (including myself back in the day).

The social conditioning doesn't end at the masses, it's also carried out by the individual, him being conditioned to being a worthless doormat, and she's conditioned to being superior. The Asch experiment proves exactly how he's gaslighted and against his own senses, he goes along with the scheme, We MGTOW are been blessed with the wisdom to know the difference and the tenacity to cling to truth against all others and against all odds.

We're the rare and endangered Sheep Dogs on a grassy plane where the wolfs outnumber the sheep. I pity them, they just can't break free of herd mentality, and most don't even see it, but we can tell by their torment and misery from letting the gaslighting take over.

Every compliance and capitulation a man makes is one more strike against his spirit and tear within his soul.

When we shutdown our herd mentality, a leader is born. MGTOW embodies this principle, rendering the Asch experiment NULL&VOID.

I've been around guys that disobeyed their wives on the regular. They're all divorced or well on their way. I've also been around guys that were bossed about by their wives and were strikingly obedient/obsequious, which is humiliating to witness. Such men are the most likely to remain consistently married.

Thankfully, I'm a part of the first group. I won't tolerate women ordering me about with the expectation of my obedience. I know how Pavlovian training works, which means it won't work on me.

Until they completely destroy your life, ignorance and self-delusion are sheer bliss.

MGTOW & The Red Pill Save

Divorce rape and false allegations, and even stupid feminism which has helped opened the eyes of millions of men to female nature, seem to dominate MGTOW discussion. None of that really concerns me.
It's the "Yes Dear" life of appeasement and subjugation that makes any partnership with females insane.
Women are vastly superior to men in terms of social interaction, and then manipulation.
In this respect, more than 90% of men are no match, long term, against women.
Men MAY knock you down, women WILL wear you down.

In many respects it's merciful that "Munich" or "Stockholm" syndrome kicks in and men grow to see things from their manipulator's perspective as outlined in the O.P's post.
Once in a relationshit, their own point of view is irrelevant to their manipulator or society, and eventually to themselves.

Should be yes, master

Should be YES DEER, steak, cooked medium, smothered in onions, garlic, and peppers, with a touch of Worcestershire sauce...

Originally Posted by Scrawler

Divorce rape and false allegations, and even stupid feminism which has helped opened the eyes of millions of men to female nature, seem to dominate MGTOW discussion. None of that really concerns me.
It's the "Yes Dear" life of appeasement and subjugation that makes any partnership with females insane.
Women are vastly superior to men in terms of social interaction, and then manipulation.
In this respect, more than 90% of men are no match, long term, against women.
Men MAY knock you down, women WILL wear you down.

In many respects it's merciful that "Munich" or "Stockholm" syndrome kicks in and men grow to see things from their manipulator's perspective as outlined in the O.P's post.
Once in a relationshit, their own point of view is irrelevant to their manipulator or society, and eventually to themselves.

Brilliant analysis.

Most men underestimate a woman's ability to suck the joy out of life and manipulate you. Too many find themselves several years down the road turn into trained drones without any idea that they were being trained from the beginning. Jeff Foxworthy once joked about his wife would say something like "I'm cold," and he would get up and turn off the fan without even thinking about it. Like Scrawler noted, women will wear you down, manipulate you, and change you over time. My dad likes to say that he was an upbeat, happy guy before he met my mom. My mother is not an evil person, but she is constantly railing against any perceived injustice in the world. Politics is her favorite target, flying off the handle over anything in the news- Biden's latest gaffe, Ukraine, abortion, CRT in schools, etc. But she'll also go nuts over their neighbor parking his RV in front of their house, neighbor dog shitting in the yard, construction nearby, whatever. My mother is pretty much the crazy cat lady now, staring out the window suspiciously at her neighborhood, glued to the couch reading Twitter nonstop, getting fatter and fatter, angrier and angrier at the world. She's addicted to negativity, feeding off things like the 24 hours news cycle, murder mysteries and the gossip or drama of my family or any family she knows, ranting about issues that don't affect her in the slightest. She'll see an obscure article about a kid getting abused in rural Iowa and start ranting about it. She literally sniffs this stuff out, searching for morsels of negativity. When I was a kid, she was fighting with my schools over their teaching methods or bitching about her jobs (that always started off so well- "the people are so nice," and quickly became "f those aholes" within a month or two. My dad finally had enough of hearing her daily venting sessions and let her retire in her 40s to become a couch potato. Now he's stuck with a crazy roommate who would cost him hundreds of thousands of dollars to get rid of. I tell him he can't put a price on freedom, but he's stuck in the "cheaper to keep her" mindset that traps millions of dudes.

My point is it's easy to tell oneself something like "I won't let a woman manipulate or control me or my feelings." The reality is the manipulations start small. It's the shutting off sex, the silent treatments, the mood swings, the pointless arguments, the shit tests, etc. Men are generally built to go with the flow, aiming for a health middle, a comfortable normal. Women get off on riding an emotional roller coaster. So, if you love drama, get a woman. Life will definitely be more colorful...It's impossible not to live with someone and be impacted by them. Women are masterful emotional manipulators. Even the best amongst us will fail to recognize at least some of their games and tests. This is just part of male/female nature. If you could go back to time and listen to a Roman emperor talking with his wife, you'd probably hear her convincing him to take out a Senator or two, start a war, etc- stemming from something petty because she didn't like so/so's wife.

Originally Posted by MannSplainer

I've been around guys that disobeyed their wives on the regular. They're all divorced or well on their way. I've also been around guys that were bossed about by their wives and were strikingly obedient/obsequious, which is humiliating to witness. Such men are the most likely to remain consistently married.

Thankfully, I'm a part of the first group. I won't tolerate women ordering me about with the expectation of my obedience. I know how Pavlovian training works, which means it won't work on me.

Until they completely destroy your life, ignorance and self-delusion are sheer bliss.

MGTOW & The Red Pill Save

I'm a divorced guy who regularly disobeyed my wife. The part she couldn't see was, it was just as much as she disobeyed me.


I just didn't stoop so low as to cheat on her. She could not say the same. Because reasons. Reasons that only other females think give them the right to do so.

To this day men who bow to their wife make me want to vomit.

The other thing is once you per se disobey her the labels start to fly. You are now controlling, a tight wad, don't love her, you name it. She will tell all her friends this shit about you too. Her friends then cheer her on toward divorce court. You go girl. You don't need no man.

She just never understood I just wanted a wife. Not a bitch who also cheats. Or that I would remove her from my life regardless of the cost.

Originally Posted by Survivor64

One time we were into about beer # 12 when I asked him how he can possibly stand it. He said there’s three phrases every married man needs to keep ready at all times- “Yes dear”, “I apologize dear”, and “It won’t happen again dear”. I got a chuckle out of it at the time, but now it’s just sad.

The moment I changed those three phases to "Fuck that!", "Fuck you!" and "Fuck Off!", after being treated like a damn sexless slave for months, all the "successful marriage" bullshit went out the window immediately!

Originally Posted by MannSplainer

I've been around guys that disobeyed their wives on the regular. They're all divorced or well on their way. I've also been around guys that were bossed about by their wives and were strikingly obedient/obsequious, which is humiliating to witness. Such men are the most likely to remain consistently married.

Thankfully, I'm a part of the first group. I won't tolerate women ordering me about with the expectation of my obedience. I know how Pavlovian training works, which means it won't work on me.

Same here, MS! Is it any wonder I'm part of the divorce demographic nowadays?

Originally Posted by Toolband89

My point is it's easy to tell oneself something like "I won't let a woman manipulate or control me or my feelings." The reality is the manipulations start small. It's the shutting off sex, the silent treatments, the mood swings, the pointless arguments, the shit tests, etc.

Women are masterful emotional manipulators. Even the best amongst us will fail to recognize at least some of their games and tests. This is just part of male/female nature.

I've experienced all of the above in my marriage! ALL OF THE ABOVE! Sometimes I'm amazed at how I was able to gather the pieces of my very shattered self esteem (and balls!) and have the strenght to tell that gas lighting bitch to FUCK OFF!

Originally Posted by O.G.

I'm a divorced guy who regularly disobeyed my wife. The part she couldn't see was, it was just as much as she disobeyed me.


I just didn't stoop so low as to cheat on her. She could not say the same. Because reasons. Reasons that only other females think give them the right to do so.

To this day men who bow to their wife make me want to vomit.

The other thing is once you per se disobey her the labels start to fly. You are now controlling, a tight wad, don't love her, you name it. She will tell all her friends this shit about you too. Her friends then cheer her on toward divorce court. You go girl. You don't need no man.

She just never understood I just wanted a wife. Not a bitch who also cheats. Or that I would remove her from my life regardless of the cost.

You know OG, aside from the confirmed cheating part you've experienced, you've just described my marriage down to the last T!

The childish disobedience, the "need to reconnect with herself" female middle-age life crisis, the numerous downright offensive labels when you tell her a simple "NO" and refuse to be her little compliant servant, the Hive and her own family members who empower her to proceed on her stupidity!

And yes, in my case also, she never thought I had the balls to accept her request for a divorce and quit being her little bitch!

Originally Posted by Granola Junkie

The moment I changed those three phases to "Fuck that!", "Fuck you!" and "Fuck Off!", after being treated like a damn sexless slave for months, all the "successful marriage" bullshit went out the window immediately!



Same here, MS! Is it any wonder I'm part of the divorce demographic nowadays?



I've experienced all of the above in my marriage! ALL OF THE ABOVE! Sometimes I'm amazed at how I was able to gather the pieces of my very shattered self esteem (and balls!) and have the strenght to tell that gas lighting bitch to FUCK OFF!




You know OG, aside from the confirmed cheating part you've experienced, you've just described my marriage down to the last T!

The childish disobedience, the "need to reconnect with herself" female middle-age life crisis, the numerous downright offensive labels when you tell her a simple "NO" and refuse to be her little compliant servant, the Hive and her own family members who empower her to proceed on her stupidity!

And yes, in my case also, she never thought I had the balls to accept her request for a divorce and quit being her little bitch!

Yo-Yo Syndrome, she tried walk-the-dog and you cut-the-line! It's a fkn classic! Back in the 80's I left my X gf's driveway sideways laying rubber all the way up the street mad as raging bull, my fuck-you was all the rubber marks (black and thick) down her driveway and up the street. I saw her 5 years later, she went from 8/9 to a 5.4 coke whore strung out with some douchebag dirt-bag POS. She literally looked like she just got gangbanged, messy hair and everything, couldn't believe it was the same person, 5 years later and looking 15 years older, bitch had some hard mileage on her!

Fuck all the games, even if you master each and every one of them, it's still not worth playing.

A single man has freedom of thought, motion, and destination no other man has. For all it was worth, I drove it all into a preverbal ditch, set it on fire and let it burn as I walked away never to return to dating, mingling, and experiencing the female of our species, ghosted with the full intentions of ghosting thereafter for the rest of my life, that was 25 years ago and the best 25 years of my life!

I feel like an animal that was returned to the wild to live the way man was intended to live, and that being the captain of his soul, leader of his destiny, and primary asset to life, it's all stolen, plundered, squandered and swindled in the modern dynamics of man vs. female empowerment and its implications.

In the spirit world females are spiders that spend all their time weaving webs and cocooning their prey for future consumptions.

Originally Posted by mgtower

A single man has freedom of thought, motion, and destination no other man has.

I feel like an animal that was returned to the wild to live the way man was intended to live, and that being the captain of his soul, leader of his destiny, and primary asset to life, it's all stolen, plundered, squandered and swindled in the modern dynamics of man vs. female empowerment and its implications.

Very well said. And to the other posters who walked away at any cost, congrats. I did it twice and don't regret it at all. Death before dishonor!

I thought that is common sense among Mgtow, it is just briffaults law.

Here is why many men go with "yes dear" in all situations.

Many men don't know how to find their purpose and many who do know don't want to put in the work. Everyone finds out that life with no purpose is full of desperation. And then they look at their life and decide that they will make their wife and kids their purpose. When his wife pulls some bullshit he he has two choices. He can either fight her over this and then fight her over some other bullshit later until the marriage falls apart and then go back to start being single and purposeless or he can say "yes dear" and live an mediocre life.

This way he gets the comfort of not needing to think or work too hard at anything at a cost of his health and sanity.

Originally Posted by 2_Time_Loser

Can anyone on this board explain to me how seemingly 90%+ of men accept this notion that keeping one half a partnership happy by acquiescing to them on every issue is the basis of a good relationship? I've had/have business partners, and have never been remotely close to a situation like that.

There are excellent responses on this thread, I would just add a different approach to what was already been said.

Men are build to respond to real life-threatening high intensity situations with a rush of adrenaline. If you are in a physical fight, or if a animal attacks, you are able to fight or escape. It is fast, it is short, it is intensive and wears you down. You need time to recover from the experience.

Women are built to respond to social stress, like babies crying and arguing with other women. It is a low intensity event, prolonged and does not wear them down.

So, when a man marries a woman he finds out really quick how arguments work between a couple: when things get heated, the guy starts boiling out and goes away. He needs a break to recover. She doesn't, she will give him 2 or 3 minutes, just out of pure masochism, and get on his face again. She is relentless and is actually enjoying the drama, he is getting drained.

This all comes down to the biological mechanisms, for the woman it feels like a baby is crying, for the man it feels like being attacked by a bear, continually.

The guy eventually develops somekind of PTSD. Instinctively he starts avoiding subjects and arguments, because there is no winning in these arguments, just abuse.

You know these men by the look in their eyes: broken men. Like the picture below.

Originally Posted by Manfred

There are excellent responses on this thread, I would just add a different approach to what was already been said.

Men are build to respond to real life-threatening high intensity situations with a rush of adrenaline. If you are in a physical fight, or if a animal attacks, you are able to fight or escape. It is fast, it is short, it is intensive and wears you down. You need time to recover from the experience.

Women are built to respond to social stress, like babies crying and arguing with other women. It is a low intensity event, prolonged and does not wear them down.

So, when a man marries a woman he finds out really quick how arguments work between a couple: when things get heated, the guy starts boiling out and goes away. He needs a break to recover. She doesn't, she will give him 2 or 3 minutes, just out of pure masochism, and get on his face again. She is relentless and is actually enjoying the drama, he is getting drained.

This all comes down to the biological mechanisms, for the woman it feels like a baby is crying, for the man it feels like being attacked by a bear, continually.

The guy eventually develops somekind of PTSD. Instinctively he starts avoiding subjects and arguments, because there is no winning in these arguments, just abuse.

You know these men by the look in their eyes: broken men. Like the picture below.

That picture is heart breaking. Luckily, I've never been that man. My first gf once asked me to hold her purse because she wanted to check something out and I said no. She got this... look in her eyes and then she snappily said "why not? It's just for a few minutes!", at which I answered "I have better ways of spending those minutes than standing around with a purse" and walked over to a different part of the store to check something out myself. She never asked again.

A while later, her parents asked me if I wanted to come shopping with them and her, and since I had nothing else to do I agreed and went with them. Once she and her mom already had a bunch of clothes and asked us to keep them with us, her dad said "sorry, but <my name> pointed me at something cool in that store over there" and took me outside with him. He grinned at me, said "I heard what you said last time and you were right. She's a big girl who can carry her own stuff", and we basically hung out for a while, smoked a cigarette, and had a good time.

Her mom never asked me to come shopping again, lol.