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  1. #1
    Senior Member Neo's Avatar
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    Why women lose the dating game.

    This one is everything we already predicted / knew but still an interesting read.

    Credit to Moby Dick over at hq for this one, nice find.

    Why women lose the dating game

    Bettina Arndt listens to the other voices in this debate: the men.

    Naomi sat in the back row of Melbourne's Grattan Institute, about to watch her fiance give a lecture. She was joined by three unfamiliar women - all attractive, well groomed, in their mid-30s. From their whispered chat, she quickly realised they weren't there to hear about politics and economics but to meet her eligible man. Naomi explains: ''He's 36 years old and is definitely someone who falls into the alpha-male category: excellent job in finance, PhD, high income, six feet two, sporty and very handsome. And he's an utter sweetheart.''

    Naomi is an attractive 28-year-old PhD student. She has been in a relationship with her fiance for six years. Her new companions were very friendly and chatted to her during the break. But then her partner, who had been socialising at the front of the room, made eye contact with Naomi and smiled.

    ''The women saw this and it was like the room had suddenly frozen over. There was silence and then one of them asked me if I knew him. I wasn't going to lie, so I told them he was my partner and how long we'd been together. It was amazing how they responded. They stopped smiling at me, shifted awkwardly in their seats and looked me up and down as if they were trying to figure out how a girl who still wears jeans and ballet flats could land a guy like that.'' The women left before her man gave his speech.

    Naomi is stunned by the number of women in their 30s who throw themselves at her partner: the colleagues who sign emails with kisses; the female journalist who pointedly asked, post-interview, if he was married. Yet given the plight of thirtysomething women seeking partners, it's hardly surprising that her boyfriend is in their sights.

    We hear endless complaints from women about the lack of good men.

    Women astonished that men don't seem to be around when they decide it is time to settle down. Women telling men to ''man up'' and stop shying away from commitment.

    But there is another conversation going on - a fascinating exchange about what is happening from the male point of view. Much of it thrives on the internet, in the so-called ''manosphere''. Here you will find men cheerfully, even triumphantly, blogging about their experience. They have cause for celebration, you see. They've discovered a profound change has taken place in the mating game and, to their surprise, they are the winners.

    Dalrock (dalrock.wordpress.com) is typical: ''Today's unmarried twentysomething women have given men an ultimatum: I'll marry when I'm ready, take it or leave it. This is, of course, their right. But ultimatums are a risky thing, because there is always a possibility the other side will decide to leave it. In the next decade we will witness the end result of this game of marriage chicken.''

    The endgame Dalrock warns about is already in play for hordes of unmarried professional women - the well-coiffed lawyers, bankers and other success stories. Many thought they could put off marriage and families until their 30s, having devoted their 20s to education, establishing careers and playing the field. But was their decade of dating a strategic mistake?

    Jamie, a 30-year-old Sydney barrister, thinks so: ''Women labour under the impression they can have it all. They can have the career, this carefree lifestyle and then, at the snap of their fingers, because they are so fabulous, find a man. But if they wait until their 30s they're competing with women who are much younger and in various ways more attractive.''

    The crisis for single women in this age group seeking a mate is very real. Almost one in three women aged 30 to 34 and a quarter of late-30s women do not have a partner, according to the 2006 census statistics. And this is a growing problem. The number of partnerless women in their 30s has almost doubled since 1986.

    The challenge is greatest for high-achieving women in their 30s looking for equally successful men. Analysis of 2006 census figures by the Monash University sociologist, Genevieve Heard, reveals that almost one in four of degree-educated women in their 30s will miss out on a man of similar age and educational achievement. There were only 68,000 unattached graduate men in their 30s for 88,000 single graduate women in the same age group.

    And the higher-education gap keeps widening. In the past year, the proportion of degree-educated women aged 25 to 34 rose from 37.7 per cent to 40.3 per cent, according to the Bureau of Statistics, while for males the figure remained below 30 per cent, having risen only 0.5 per cent in the past year.

    Although there are similar numbers of single men and women in their 30s overall - about 370,000 of each across Australia - half these available men had only high school education, 57 per cent earned $42,000 or less and 95,000 of them were unemployed.

    The high expectations of professional women are a big part of the story. Many high-achieving women simply are not interested in Mr Average, says Justin Parfitt, the owner of Australia's fastest growing speed-dating organisation, Fast Impressions. Parfitt adds: ''They've swallowed the L'Oreal line: 'Because you're worth it!' There's a real sense of entitlement.''

    He finds many of his female members are determined to meet only men who are tall, attractive, wealthy and well educated. They want the alpha males. ''Most of the professional women rarely give out 'yes' votes to men who aren't similarly successful,'' reports Parfitt, who struggles to attract enough of these successful men to his speed-dating events. Sixty per cent of his members are female. Most are over 30.

    During their 20s, women compete for the most highly desirable men, the Mr Bigs. Many will readily share a bed with the sporty, attractive, confident men, while ordinary men miss out. As Whiskey puts it at whiskeysplace.wordpress.com: ''Joe Average Beta Male is about as desirable to women as a cold bowl of oatmeal.''

    Data from American colleges show 20 per cent of males - the most attractive ones - get 80 per cent of the sex, according to an analysis by Susan Walsh, a former management consultant who wrote about the issue on her dating website, hookingupsmart.com.

    That leaves a lot of beta men spending their 20s out in the cold. Greg, a 38-year-old writer from Melbourne, started adult life shy and lonely. ''In my 20s, the women had the total upper hand. They could make or break you with one look in a club or bar. They had the choice of men, sex was on tap and guys like me went home alone, red-faced, defeated and embarrassed. The girls only wanted to go for the cool guys, good looks, outgoing personalities, money, sporty types, the kind of guys who owned the room, while us quiet ones got ignored.''

    He barely had a date through much of his 20s and gave up on women. But then he spent time overseas, gained more confidence, learnt how to dress well and hit his early 30s. ''I suddenly started to get asked out by women, aged 19 through to 40. The floodgates burst open for me. I actually dated five women at once, amazing my flatmates by often bedding three to four of my casual dates each week. It is a great time as a male in your 30s, when you start getting more female attention and sex than you could ever have dreamt of in your 20s.''

    That's when some men start behaving very badly - as the manosphere clearly shows. These internet sites are not for the faint-hearted. The voices are often crude and misogynist. But they tell it as they see it. There is Greenlander, an apparently successful engineer in his late 30s. In his early adult life, he was unable to ''get the time of day from women''. Now he's interested only in women under 27.

    ''The women I know in their early 30s are just delusional,'' he says. ''I sometimes seduce them and sleep with them just because I know how to play them so well. It's just too easy. They're tired of the cock carousel and they see a guy like me as the perfect beta to settle down with before their eggs dry out … when I get tired of them I just delete their numbers from my cell phone and stop taking their calls … It doesn't really hurt them that much: at this point they're used to pump & dump!''

    It's easy to dismiss such bile but Greenlander's analysis is echoed by many Australian singles, both male and female.

    ''It's wall-to-wall arseholes out there,'' reports Penny, a 31-year-old lawyer. She is stunned by how hard it is to meet suitable men willing to commit. ''I'm horrified by the number of gorgeous, independent and successful women my age who can't meet a decent man.''

    Penny acknowledges part of the problem is her own expectations - that her generation of women was brought up wanting too much. ''We were told we were special, we could do anything and the world was our oyster.'' And having spent her 20s dating alpha males, she expected them to be still around when she finally decided to get serious.

    But these men go fast, many fishing outside their pond. The most attractive, successful men can take their pick from women their own age or from the Naomis, the younger women who are happy to settle early. Almost one in three degree-educated 35-year-old men marries or lives with women aged 30 or under, according to income, housing and marriage surveys by the Bureau of Statistics.

    ''I can't believe how many men my age are only interested in younger women,'' wails Gail, a 34-year-old advertising executive as she describes her first search through men's profiles on the RSVP internet dating site. She is shocked to find many mid-30s men have set up their profiles to refuse mail from women their own age.

    Talking to many women like her, it's intriguing how many look back on past relationships where they let good men get away because they weren't ready.
    American journalist Kate Bolick wrote recently in The Atlantic about breaking off her three-year relationship with a man she described as ''intelligent, good-looking, loyal and kind''. She acknowledged ''there was no good reason to end things'', yet, at the time, she was convinced something was missing in the relationship. That was 11 years ago. She's is now 39 and facing grim choices.

    ''We arrived at the top of the staircase,'' Bolick wrote, ''finally ready to start our lives, only to discover a cavernous room at the tail end of a party, most of the men gone already, some having never shown up - and those who remain are leering by the cheese table [Er, I'm sorry but 'leering by the cheese table?' :| ], or are, you know, the ones you don't want to go out with.''

    So, many women are missing out on their fairytale ending - their assumption that when the time was right the dream man would be waiting. The 30s are worrying years for high-achieving women who long for marriage and children - of course, not all do - as they face their rapidly closing reproductive window surrounded by men who see no rush to settle down.

    And, of course, many women eventually do find a mate, often ending up with divorced men. There are complications with that second-marriage market, in which men come complete with former wives and children. That was never part of the plan.

    Many really struggle with the fact that they aren't in a position to be too choosy. American author Lori Gottlieb gives a painfully honest account of that process in her book Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr Good Enough.
    ''Maybe we need to get over ourselves,'' she writes. The 40-year-old single mother enlisted a team of advisers who helped her realise that while she was conducting her long search for the perfect man - Prince Charming or nobody - her market value had dropped through the floor.

    ''Our generation of women is constantly told to have high self-esteem, but it seems that the women themselves are at risk of ego-tripping themselves out of romantic connection,'' she writes. She acknowledges she made a mistake not looking for a spouse in her 20s, when she was at her most desirable. She advises thirtysomething women to look for Mr Good Enough before they have even less choice. ''They are with an '8' but they want a '10'. But then suddenly they're 40 and can only get a '5'!''

    Women delaying their search for a serious relationship have set up a very different dating and marriage market. The Sydney barrister, Jamie, finds himself spoilt for choice. Like many of his friends he's finding women actively pursuing him, asking him out, cooking him elaborate meals, buying him presents. ''Oh, you're a barrister,'' they say.

    While many of his mates are playing the field, determined to enjoy this unexpected attention, Jamie is ready to settle down. He's very wary of Sex and the City types, women who are convinced they are so special, but he's confident he will soon find someone with her feet on the ground.

    ''I'm lucky,'' he says, ''to be in a buyer's market.''
    Last edited by BeijaFlor; April 13, 2016 at 6:41 PM. Reason: Add link to original article - Sydney Morning Herald
    It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society." - Jiddu Krishnamurti

  2. #2

    Re: Why women lose the dating game.

    Great article and great .gif to polish it off Neo!

    Reading that was like a breath of fresh air... It's nice to see that the conclusions we've drawn in the Manosphere are mirrored exactly on the wyminz world.

    I feel like I'll sleep particularly well tonight after that article. Kind of like when a stock you chose soars... Apparently we've chosen wisely, Gentlemen.

  3. #3
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    Re: Why women lose the dating game.

    It's even harder on older women. I know some that make reasonably good money. They don't even try to find guys in their economic class. They know those guys all want younger women. The fact that they'll look at me, something they'd a never done before, just show's how desperate they are.

    I'd probably sign up, if I were dumb enough to believe they really like me the way I am. But I was never Mr. right. I'm not even Mr. right now. I'd be what I've always been, a project, and not a very popular one at that. I'm not going to be anyone's project.
    Every day I make the world a little bit worse.

  4. #4
    Administrator jagrmeister's Avatar
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    Re: Why women lose the dating game.

    All of this confusion owes to one thing: The Great Regression.

    I spelled it out. Until society recognizes that women require social guidance to offset their lack of evolution (they did not develop instincts according to the requirements of modern civilization because they were exempt from these selection pressures), and will otherwise regress to their historical pattern of mating with the top 6% of men, we will continue to have confused women and jaded men. Yes, women have changed on a scale of millennia; not biologically, but behaviorally.

    The Great Regression explains everything. It's the unifying theory explaining modern female behavior.

    Some of you may be wondering -- who is this Jagrmeister guy? Have a look at some of my posts from MGTOW Forums--> Jagr Archive (collection of my articles)



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  5. #5

    Re: Why women lose the dating game.

    "She's is now 39 and facing grim choices...So, many women are missing out on their fairytale ending" So what? Are we supposed to cry?

  6. #6
    Senior Member Primus_Pilus's Avatar
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    Re: Why women lose the dating game.

    Today's unmarried twentysomething women have given men an ultimatum: I'll marry when I'm ready, take it or leave it.
    We're leaving it. And there's a fresh crop of 18 year olds that matures every year.
    First date: A job interview in which a slot-c tries to determine a man's financial suitability in relation to its desire for children.
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    Re: Why women lose the dating game.

    I've read that article years ago. Was a good read though
    It also aligns perfectly with the male SMV curve
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  8. #8
    Senior Member Dubya's Avatar
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    Re: Why women lose the dating game.

    You guys might be seeing this as schaedenfreude but it's actually just hypergamy.

    Women complaining that there's not enough men "of the calibur that I deserve."

    Well what does she deserve? The moon and stars, a million dollars and horse cock plus einstein brain. There are not enough of those kinds of men so it's a man-draught, it's always a man-draught.

  9. #9
    Moderator Thomas Covenant's Avatar
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    Re: Why women lose the dating game.

    We're leaving it. And there's a fresh crop of 18 year olds that matures every year.
    Not only that, but the guys walking away are getting younger every year.
    I work in financial planning. I am interested in metal (all kinds), miniature painting and PC gaming. I live in Scotland.

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    Senior Member Nuggets's Avatar
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    Re: Why women lose the dating game.

    Quote Originally Posted by frog View Post
    I'd probably sign up, if I were dumb enough to believe they really like me the way I am. But I was never Mr. right. I'm not even Mr. right now. I'd be what I've always been, a project, and not a very popular one at that. I'm not going to be anyone's project.
    Man I've been feeling this a lot lately. I think I've run some accidental game lately, and it's because I'm so apathetic about women. I'm naturally aloof, but at this point in my life moreso than ever. After a while women just start getting that vibe from me that I don't give a shit about impressing them. Then suddenly they want to know about me - it's like that project you're talking about.
    "The hours of folly are measured by the clock; but of wisdom, no clock can measure" - William Blake

    Nuggets = chicken nuggets. First thing that popped into my head when I signed up

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    Re: Why women lose the dating game.

    All providers are projects, I suppose.

    I'm just saying the pickings must be slim when their looking at me. It's like their in a boat with one island in sight. The place is all swamps and jungle, but it'll have to do. How's that going to work? I ain't planning to find out.

    Hell of it is, the one's I know are providers themselves. They live well enough, but have an army of hanger's on. Kids, grandkids, slacker inlaws, you name it, they got it. With every last one hoping it'll last forever. No wonder they want help. Their not all in this boat, but its rare when their not.
    Every day I make the world a little bit worse.

  12. #12
    Senior Member Neo's Avatar
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    Re: Why women lose the dating game.

    Quote Originally Posted by Dubya View Post
    You guys might be seeing this as schaedenfreude but it's actually just hypergamy.

    Women complaining that there's not enough men "of the calibur that I deserve."

    Well what does she deserve? The moon and stars, a million dollars and horse cock plus einstein brain. There are not enough of those kinds of men so it's a man-draught, it's always a man-draught.
    It's a schadenfreude because of what the hypergamy ends in.
    It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society." - Jiddu Krishnamurti

  13. #13
    Senior Member Neo's Avatar
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    Re: Why women lose the dating game.

    Quote Originally Posted by Nuggets View Post
    Man I've been feeling this a lot lately. I think I've run some accidental game lately, and it's because I'm so apathetic about women. I'm naturally aloof, but at this point in my life moreso than ever. After a while women just start getting that vibe from me that I don't give a shit about impressing them. Then suddenly they want to know about me - it's like that project you're talking about.

    There are still some clueless ones out there that will bite. The other day, I had a guy gobsmacked and upset because I turned down a single Mom. One that... I quote ''wish I had a chance with''. He can't for the life of him figure out why I would turn down a 35 year old single mom that has 4 kids and ex husbands / bfs floating around.
    It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society." - Jiddu Krishnamurti

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    Re: Why women lose the dating game.

    Quote Originally Posted by Neo View Post
    There are still some clueless ones out there that will bite. The other day, I had a guy gobsmacked and upset because I turned down a single Mom. One that... I quote ''wish I had a chance with''. He can't for the life of him figure out why I would turn down a 35 year old single mom that has 4 kids and ex husbands / bfs floating around.
    His red-flag-o-meter hasn't been turned on yet.

  15. #15
    Senior Member Eiji's Avatar
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    Re: Why women lose the dating game.

    women losing at dating????
    to quote a chara from StarCraft2.... "Hell, its about time!!"

    as for the others......
    "To manipulate a man is a careful project.... too light a hand, and he follows his own whim.. too heavy a hand, and he will turn on you." -- Chronicle of the Metal Age, Thief2:The Metal Age
    Last edited by Eiji; April 14, 2016 at 9:22 PM.
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    "In servitutem redigi non recuso" - Latin (translates to "I refuse to be dominated.")

  16. #16

    Re: Why women lose the dating game.

    Article is from 2012 though relevant.

    If there is a lack of "Good" men, are the majority defacto "Bad" men?
    because even solitude is better than evil company. - Bartolomeo Scala

  17. #17
    Senior Member Eiji's Avatar
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    Re: Why women lose the dating game.

    Quote Originally Posted by Free and Clear View Post
    Article is from 2012 though relevant.

    If there is a lack of "Good" men, are the majority defacto "Bad" men?
    once again... denied "due process" on account of being "contaminated" with a Y-chromosome.....
    Last edited by Eiji; April 16, 2016 at 8:37 PM.
    "I live in freedom, under my own flag." - Captain Harlock

    "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic." - Arthur C Clarke

    "Who's the more foolish? The Fool? Or the Fool who follows him?" - Obi-wan "Ben" Kenobi

    "In servitutem redigi non recuso" - Latin (translates to "I refuse to be dominated.")

  18. #18
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    Re: Why women lose the dating game.

    They have quite a few golden replies on the MGTOW HQ version of this thead. This post sums up to me exactly why dating has gotten so fucked up in the 2010s. It's basically because you have these idiotic plain Janes or less holding out for Chad
    Quote Originally Posted by Gazza
    Susan Walsh, founder of the Hooking Up Smart website for women, advises thirtysomething women to look for Mr Good Enough before they have even less choice. ''They are with an '8' but they want a '10'. But then suddenly they're 40 and can only get a '5'!''
    This is the truth. "Where's all the good men gone?" is "Where's all the 8-10s gone?"

    It's worse with the 'highly educated' twat as female hypergamy makes it impossible for them to meet the demanded someone more educated with a better salary.
    Yep! Exactly.

    While Susan Walsh is who Rollo Tomassi of the Rational Male site refers to as Aunt Giggles, in this instance, she does make refreshingly good point to her fellow women to not overrate their SMV before it drops into the toilet.

    But I am afraid we all have a ways before women stop chasing only the top 20%.

    But many men--even non MGTOWs--are finally onto their scheme.

    Maybe, in some ways, the Beta Provider Boy era is taking a decline if not a steep one already. Either way, I have already gone my own way and have been for a while anyway.
    Last edited by Ace Francis; April 16, 2016 at 1:18 AM.

  19. #19

    Re: Why women lose the dating game.

    The lies of feminism and liberalism have tried to tell men that we can't ever have a woman all to ourselves, all we can hope for is our turn. If it gets to finally be our turn when she's older, we're obligated to marry her and deal with all her emotional baggage that comes from being pumped and dumped by a bunch of assholes when she was younger. Also, we have to be financially responsible for her even though all those other guys got her sex for free, even if she divorces us later or cheats on us or both.

    They must really thing we're stupid.

  20. #20

    Re: Why women lose the dating game.

    Quote Originally Posted by crystalsox View Post
    "She's is now 39 and facing grim choices...So, many women are missing out on their fairytale ending" So what? Are we supposed to cry?
    I know I mean really? Still I feel bad so ladies if any are reading this on behalf of all men I apologize. I apologize we don't live in a world where it's always sunshine and rainbows and there's rainbow shitting unicorns. I apologize society has deluded you all into being into little bitches that have no concept of maturity. Even though we all know it really has nothing to do with society you all did this to yourselves.


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