Thread: Wife buys clothes for husband

Fella at work told me the other day that his wife buys all his clothes for him because “he doesn’t care” about clothes or his appearance enough to go out and get and choose his own clothes, he can’t be bothered with it. Honestly I understand that completely, I wear clothes until they disintegrate and have no time for worrying about latest fashions too much. But as I was thinking on this I couldn’t help but feel that it’s a very different dynamic when you’re with a woman and especially married. If he’s opting out of making a choice for himself, even a seemingly small one, that’s a little bit of power he’s giving up to the woman. A little bit here and a little bit there leads to being almost completely controlled by that woman over time. So the resentment builds in the woman for having to make all the choices and the man thinks all is well, it’s only clothes after after all. It’s only the home décor after all. It’s only picking the holiday destination after all. It’s only picking what food to eat after all. It may be that the little choices he’s opted out of his entire life will drain all his power away. It’s a constant struggle whilst in a relationship, constant shit tests and a cold quiet battle for dominance at all times. I think the fella at work failed this particular test and will continue to fail them as they come up. I honestly don’t see the point in a constant battle for dominance anymore, I want to go home every day from work and chill, I opt out of the war.


What do you guys think of all that? On the right path do you reckon or reading too much into it? What are some of the small things that end up being the biggest things do you think? Anything I could suggest to the fella at work? Cheers.

Every little thing you give up for a woman or give her some power to, a little piece of that man is missing.

A lot of guys just let the woman decide things, they eat what she decides to cook (or buy), they wear what she buys him, they watch what she likes to watch, a lot of men lose their friendships once in a relationship as well.

One of the saddest things I have seen is a couple having a discussion about what type of laundry detergent to buy. I can see how most men would just buy whichever is cheapest or whatever and not care.

I guess there is always a pay off somewhere. The men just see it as not having to go clothes shopping for themselves.They are most likely doing a lot for her as well.

Nothing you can tell the fella at work other than to stop being a simp and get away from his wife - in that case it could just as well be that it's easier to keep her than deal with the fallout of divorce so he's stuck whether he likes it or not, he's pretty fucked if he knows anything about what waits for him in court should he displease his dominatrix hah.

No easy way out for him, remember there was a topic about "how to divorce your wife" somewhere on the forum - that would be helpful if he wants to start planning his eventual freedom.

Most people don't want freedom, they just want security & the freedom to not be responsible for making choices.

One of my Army buddies near got divorced over this. After being in boot camp or overseas for two years, his wife decided he was hopelessly out of fashion, and demanded he wear a bunch a new clothing he hated. They ended up divorcing, though there was more to it than his wardrobe. She wanted to run his entire life, but after two years in the Army, that wasn't going to fly.

Originally Posted by JustaThought

I wear clothes until they disintegrate

You made me laugh with recognition of this.

I figure if you are married, there will be things where you let the other one take control and vice versa, and seeing how women are so opinionated on clothes and appearances in general, I could see a man who did not care as much about that, letting her do it. He did marry her not just for sex but for helpmate reasons, too.

I used to wear one of those grey Mickey Mouse T-shirts that I got from Disneyland. After many years and many washings, Mickey lost his luster and the threads were wearing thin. I had a girlfriend who kept bugging me to get rid of it but, hey, I liked it! Several years after I broke up with her, the T-shirt was getting ratty even to my standards such that I finally decided to get rid of it.

So, I mailed it to her.

Originally Posted by JustaThought

Fella at work told me the other day that his wife buys all his clothes for him because “he doesn’t care” about clothes or his appearance enough to go out and get and choose his own clothes, he can’t be bothered with it. Honestly I understand that completely, I wear clothes until they disintegrate and have no time for worrying about latest fashions too much. But as I was thinking on this I couldn’t help but feel that it’s a very different dynamic when you’re with a woman and especially married. If he’s opting out of making a choice for himself, even a seemingly small one, that’s a little bit of power he’s giving up to the woman. A little bit here and a little bit there leads to being almost completely controlled by that woman over time. So the resentment builds in the woman for having to make all the choices and the man thinks all is well, it’s only clothes after after all. It’s only the home décor after all. It’s only picking the holiday destination after all. It’s only picking what food to eat after all. It may be that the little choices he’s opted out of his entire life will drain all his power away. It’s a constant struggle whilst in a relationship, constant shit tests and a cold quiet battle for dominance at all times. I think the fella at work failed this particular test and will continue to fail them as they come up. I honestly don’t see the point in a constant battle for dominance anymore, I want to go home every day from work and chill, I opt out of the war.


What do you guys think of all that? On the right path do you reckon or reading too much into it? What are some of the small things that end up being the biggest things do you think? Anything I could suggest to the fella at work? Cheers.

No, you didn't read too much into it. Your assessment is spot on. Despite women's domineering nature they hate being put in a position to make decisions. So, as you said, that's a little bit of power your friend is giving up to her incrementally, and a man with no power in the relationship is a man with no respect. She probably feels comfortable jabbing her index finger against his forehead in an argument.

Letting her buy him clothes like a little boy is already too far. You give women an inch they'll take 100 miles. There's no way she can respect him, and as a man, if you don't have a woman's respect in a relationship you have nothing.

Im so glad I'm single. I don't have to be nagged at and told how I'm wrong Wrong freaking wrong all the time.

Originally Posted by MGTOWFOREVER

Im so glad I'm single. I don't have to be nagged at and told how I'm wrong Wrong freaking wrong all the time.

Sounds like how I feel about the females in my family.

It's a control thing, and the man knows it's better to let her have her have her own way and choose his cloths like he's some sort of child or pet.
He knows it's better to let her have her way than being constantly belittled and ridiculed for making his own choices. She'd always be making snide comments about his "poor" taste in cloths.

If you doubt it's a control thing, then reverse the genders, and you can see how abusive it is.

The same goes for buying a house, and all real estate agents know it. Men rationalize it to cope by saying "I don't care"

I have some articles of clothing from the 80's in mint condition, never worn. Guess why?

I can understand the idea of some men not caring about fashion. But still, allowing your wife to pick out your clothes is a problem. You cede a small amount of control here, a small amount there and it adds up pretty quickly.

Women instinctively seek to control, dominate and emasculate. It's not their fault either, it's how they're built. They're also built to resent any man who allows them to dominate. So, when you allow her to make decisions for you, you're ultimately breeding hatred from her.

Not my problem. But the guy whose wife buys his clothes for him will eventually turn to the Dark Side. And when she does, her soon-to-be ex won't know what hit him.

Originally Posted by Kryptic

A lot of guys just let the woman decide things, they eat what she decides to cook (or buy), they wear what she buys him, they watch what she likes to watch, a lot of men lose their friendships once in a relationship as well.

One of the saddest things I have seen is a couple having a discussion about what type of laundry detergent to buy. I can see how most men would just buy whichever is cheapest or whatever and not care.

I guess there is always a pay off somewhere. The men just see it as not having to go clothes shopping for themselves.They are most likely doing a lot for her as well.

Less stress

Originally Posted by mgtower

I have some articles of clothing from the 80's in mint condition, never worn. Guess why?

LOL!!
I have a bunch too

My Ex of 23 years bought my clothes. I thought she did it to not feel guilty for all the clothes she bought. She went on a shopping spree every month. Its been 4 years since my divorce, this is my list of clothes purchased

Socks
Underwear
handful of shirts , hats and shorts for sports
Tennis shoes 6-8 pairs over the 4 years
Hiking boots 1 pair

Since I buy my clothes at Costco, it cant be more than a couple hundred bucks
She would spend that much on a sweater that she would wear a couple times. The rest of my clothes are from when I was married, and some never worn

Guys, we dont need money
Me? Give some tacos and a beer...Im good

Seems like a pretty "normal" story to me Men put all their effort into attracting the female. Once they have her, and life has settled into a routine, men are fine with that. In fact, we thrive in it. Most men put a lot of energy into their work, so there's not much left by the time they get home. No more romantic gestures, no more planning and deciding. It's easier to just let her do all that. As pointed out, this inevitably leads to some level of resentment. Rare is the woman that can muddle through work and a mundane home life like a man can.

Originally Posted by mgtower

I have some articles of clothing from the 80's in mint condition, never worn. Guess why?

Because you keep rockin' your favorite from that era and nothing else:

Seriously?

I’m finding it hard to see a problem here.

From what you say the guy is happy with his other half choosing and buying his clothes for him.

Personally I couldn’t stand it. I'm happy with my 5 year old tees and 7 year old jeans, but if he doesn’t have a problem then why should anyone else?

Some men like to be controlled. Most women like to control.

If they can find each other then I’m happy for both of them.

It’s not gonna be my life though!

Originally Posted by Hedon

Letting her buy him clothes like a little boy is already too far. You give women an inch they'll take 100 miles. There's no way she can respect him, and as a man, if you don't have a woman's respect in a relationship you have nothing.

This is exactly what I thought when he told me. The turning of a man into a boy and his wife being more like his mother, its so sad and yet he probably thinks this is completely fine... Until the divorce papers come out someday and the realization of his total and complete loss of power comes about. Like you said respect is everything, once it starts slipping you can't drag it back.

Originally Posted by Jackoff

Seriously?

I’m finding it hard to see a problem here.

From what you say the guy is happy with his other half choosing and buying his clothes for him.

Personally I couldn’t stand it. I happy with my 5 year old tees and 7 year old jeans, but if he doesn’t have a problem then why should anyone else?

Some men like to be controlled. Most women like to control.

If they can find each other then I’m happy for both of them.

It’s not gonna be my life though!

I guess they are happily married from the outside looking in... for now. Its just the fact that he probably doesn't see it as a problem either, and technically its not a massive deal, totally agree. But I believe that the clothing thing is just one part of a big jenga tower of power as a man in a relationship where you take one piece out here, one out there and then boom, it all falls in a heap at your feet.

Originally Posted by FrankS

My Ex of 23 years bought my clothes. I thought she did it to not feel guilty for all the clothes she bought. She went on a shopping spree every month. Its been 4 years since my divorce, this is my list of clothes purchased

Socks
Underwear
handful of shirts , hats and shorts for sports
Tennis shoes 6-8 pairs over the 4 years
Hiking boots 1 pair

Since I buy my clothes at Costco, it cant be more than a couple hundred bucks
She would spend that much on a sweater that she would wear a couple times. The rest of my clothes are from when I was married, and some never worn

Guys, we dont need money
Me? Give some tacos and a beer...Im good

That's the way to go I reckon! Similarly over the past couple of years being single I reckon I've bought some underwear and socks, maybe one pair of shorts, a shirt and a pair of boots. Like you say we don't need much money to keep us going, beer and good food and we're set for the most part! As long as the clothing we have doesn't have too many holes and fits well enough it would just be a waste replacing them, and even when they're completely trashed you've got some brand new rags right there for the shed! Recycling haha.