Thread: Why Dads Matter In A Child's Life

I'm not going to be a father, but I do believe that if a loving father can be part of their kid's lives, that's very important. When I was a kid, and still do, I've for the most part have gotten along with my father. We used to go to the movies together, eat out and do guy stuff like playing pool or darts in our last house. My dad would take me bowling, because he was on a Wednesday night league and he'd give me some money to play the arcade and pinball games and if I was hungry, he would buy me cheese fries, or cheese sticks and a root beer. Now we spend a few father/son moments like watching Pawn Stars on Saturday afternoons, or a movie together.

I have to live with my dad at the age of late 39, but I'm glad he won't kick me out, unless I do or say something to give him a reason to kick me out.

So if a loving father can spend time with their kids, children or grown adults, it helps their lives out and helps kids grow up to be good adults.

I'm surprised no one replied yet, because I thought fathers or just any positive male role models was a big deal to MGTOW. Guess not.

A lot of fathers are either gone or emotionally unavailable, and it bothers their sons. Grow up with this and there's not much you can do.

I had the opposite problem. Mine watched me like a hawk. I was under his microscope for fifty years, though as an adult it wasn't too bad. But as a kid it was a bitch sometimes. At least you know he cared, and that's important. But you can have too much dad as well as not enough.

I guess nowadays a lot of dad’s with kids over 5-6 are so under appreciated, considered walking ATMs and have the threat of alimony/kids taken away hanging over them that they live life just going through the motions. A very hollow existence that has to take its toll mentally and physically. I see a lot of worn out looking/overweight women over 40…and a lot of pot belly men who’s depth of character doesn’t extend beyond football and beer.

Here’s a real life example:

- My exes sister (age 37) has 4 kids (youngest 7 oldest 14), VERY materialistic/never satisfied, snobby acting, never worked a job and ~60-70 lbs overweight. Even has a fake sounding “I’m dignified” voice.

- Her husband (age 41) is out of town often for a week at a time fixing robotic machines that make stuff. When he’s working in town he drinks over a case of beer per night (and on the weekends) and then passes out. His wife encourages it and says she likes him better drunk because he’s easier to get along with.

- She told the mom/my ex they hadn’t had sex in 6 months and that she found porn on his laptop. Can’t say I blame the guy. He’s probably 70 lbs overweight too with a huge belly that he proclaims to be proud of because he LOVES beer.

- The 14 yr old boy hates school and is nearly failing for several years. Well his mom is a total materialistic bitch only worried about appearing wealthy and his dad is a drunk. Surprise, surprise.

- The 13 yr old girl upset them when they found texts where she was talking sexually to a black boy from school and telling him her dad is drunk all the time.

- The husband’s mother gets a few nice sized checks every month and they take her money to buy anything from a $5k fridge to $12k for Disneyland to a new $70k Suburban for the wife every 3-4 years. Other than her money, they hate her and treat her like crap…have even yelled cussing her out and kicked her out at family gatherings. Last time I saw her she sat in the corner and acted like she was afraid to speak. Her husband died 5 years ago and she has health problems so I guess she just takes the abuse to see her grands every few months (her other son died of a drug overdose).

Anyways…just an example of how a lot of families are “living the life” in America. Lots and lots of beer needed.

Wow, I didn't realize fatherhood was so rough for some people. Maybe it's because I have a healthy relationship with my father, and he lets me live with him rent free at nearly age 40 and he's enjoying his retirement.

My dad just had a great Father's Day to where he can relax outside with my family in 78-degree clear weather and not have to worry about going to a job anymore. However, this is likely the last Father's Day my dad will have with his father because he'll be 95 (if he makes it to September 15) and he's so physically weak to the point the man can't do anything (literally) without someone to help him, even sitting up or taking his socks on or off without my 89-year-old grandma to help him. So this is highly the last Father's Day with his father.

Originally Posted by frog

I had the opposite problem. Mine watched me like a hawk. I was under his microscope for fifty years

Same here, raised by single dad from age 12, overbearing nightmare. He smoked lots of weed and had a memory like a sieve. He was an exception to the rule however.

I noticed from the age of 11 at secondary school that the majority of misbehaving and underperforming students were the ones with no dad around. It wasn't until I discovered the manosphere I found out why.

Originally Posted by ResidentEvil7

Wow, I didn't realize fatherhood was so rough for some people. Maybe it's because I have a healthy relationship with my father, and he lets me live with him rent free at nearly age 40 and he's enjoying his retirement.

Be glad you didn't ask about our mothers. Some guy did years ago and it was as godawful a train wreck of a thread as you ever saw. Many of us had terrible mothers. Enough that it might of had something to do with us turning our backs on the plantation.

For the record, my mom was great, everybody loved her. Most of the rest of us though, were not so lucky.

Originally Posted by ResidentEvil7

I'm surprised no one replied yet, because I thought fathers or just any positive male role models was a big deal to MGTOW. Guess not.

It is an important issue. Part of the challenge in replying here is the depth of the topic. For many years, I thought my father didn't qualify as a positive role model. He gradually came to dislike his job, wife, life, and it showed in how he treated his children. He wasn't especially abusive, just mostly indifferent as he focused on his failed personal fulfillment.

But later I came to better appreciate the more subtle positives of the situation. I learned a degree of independence and self sufficiency that allowed me to escape the relationship shitshow without too much damage. Nearly all of my siblings/cousins/peers from my early years are married, and their lives are a mess.

In some ways I've lived what my father wanted to do but couldn't, pursue self-fulfillment without answering to a wife. My parents modeled for me a situation to avoid, and now I know I almost certainly dodged a bullet.

Originally Posted by frog

Be glad you didn't ask about our mothers. Some guy did years ago and it was as godawful a train wreck of a thread as you ever saw. Many of us had terrible mothers. Enough that it might of had something to do with us turning our backs on the plantation.

For the record, my mom was great, everybody loved her. Most of the rest of us though, were not so lucky.

Yep. Some of us lived with great mothers, but more than a few, (especially me) lived with a "warped unit". When your mother becomes mentally/emotionally FUBAR, it becomes difficult to mature properly. However, it does make you aware of women's true nature.

Like previously written, I had to "digest" the OP. My dad was my absolute hero in life. When he died at the age of 57 part of me died with him. I genuinely lost a small part of my joy in life at that moment. He taught me very valuable lessons and skills. He was overbearing enough to keep my temperament in check and like a father should do: helped me channel my anger to do things that benefited me instead of harming. I also have been highly blessed to have been raised in a nuclear family. My mother comforted me and gave safety in our home. Yet she was pushing me out of the nest lovingly. Like a mother should do. When I left the home I had a huge conflict with my father. Later I realized this was his anger phase in the mourning of having to let me go. My mother didn't flinch in front of me. Later she confessed she cried her eyes out when they left me.
But in the universal law that nobody is perfect: my dad was a simp Chad. If that makes sense. He named me after him IRL. IIRC I said that in my intro. Regarding women my uprising was extremely conflicted. On one hand I got the "sugar, spice and everything nice" BS drilled into my skull. Yet when, somehow with my utterly pathetic simping tactics, I brought home a GF, there was nothing good about her. My dad was always simping toward women: act politely, nice and be a "real gentleman." Him being such a huge rolemodel I copied that behavior. I hope I don't have to explain how much success that brought me with women, here. At best I got the reply from women "you're a very cute/ nice guy, but..." When I was a young adult I asked the right questions to my father: "dad, how come women always chose those lousy MF's over me? What good ARE they actually besides their pussy? Are they so stupid or am I so smart? WTF?" Sadly his only answers were the common shaming ones "you have to try harder, don't be a misogynist, women are more clever than your think, bla, bla, bla." So I allowed myself to get back into the BP comatose state of being. At 1 point I just gave up with women. I convinced myself there was something terribly wrong with me. The only problem was, I had no idea what it was. So I had no way to "fix"that. Heck a single mom with a handicapped kid dumped me to the curbs. To keep quoting from the Matrix: fate has a sense of irony. I eventually got married. And it's actually a good marriage. Perfect? Hell no? But I care too much for my wife to divorce her. TRP came "too late" for me. If I knew then what I know now I would never have gotten married.

So my dad was a wonderful rolemodel. I still miss him so much. Only regarding women he totally failed. Weird incident happened a few years ago. I'm not into paranormal activities. But people who claim they are, say I am very powerful paranormally gifted. In that incident the person I was talking with said my father appeared and told me "I am so sorry, son." At that time I had no idea what he meant, but now I think I do.

My Grandparents on my Mom's side raised me. My Grandmother actually brought me home from the hospital with her. At the time I was born, my parents were constantly fighting and partying, so Grandma just took me with her. If it hadn't been for my Grandpa, I wouldn't have had any father figure in my life. While Mom came to visit me a couple times a week, Dad had to be threatened to come see me every couple months. My Grandpa was a great father figure. He taught me everything a man should know. It weighed on me hard my whole life that my Dad, and pretty much Mom, didn't want me with them. I know I was better off with my Grandparents, but it was hard when in school and everyone else's Mom and Dad showed up to events. Once I got old enough to think about kids of my own, I swore my kids wouldn't have to go through all that. I only had one child, my son, and we are tighter than bark on a tree. Any spare time I have, it's doing what he wants if there is something he wants to do. I tell him all the time he is my whole world.

I'm sorry if I went sappy, but after reading everyone else's posts I was moved to post my own story.

Originally Posted by GDash

I only had one child, my son, and we are tighter than bark on a tree. Any spare time I have, it's doing what he wants if there is something he wants to do. I tell him all the time he is my whole world.

That's nice that you have a son that you spend quality father/son time together.

Personally I feel it's better for fathers to raise boys into men and mothers should raise girls because of things in common with their gender.

Originally Posted by ResidentEvil7

I'm surprised no one replied yet, because I thought fathers or just any positive male role models was a big deal to MGTOW. Guess not.

What are you? From reddit? You can, in fact, add to the conversation, not just complain about it like you're shaming people.

Check this person for testicles mods. Smells quite feminine.

In 3, 2, 1,...

Originally Posted by DangZagnut

What are you? From reddit? You can, in fact, add to the conversation, not just complain about it like you're shaming people.

Check this person for testicles mods. Smells quite feminine.

I'm a guy. Lighten up.

Originally Posted by frog

A lot of fathers are either gone or emotionally unavailable, and it bothers their sons. Grow up with this and there's not much you can do.

I had the opposite problem. Mine watched me like a hawk. I was under his microscope for fifty years, though as an adult it wasn't too bad. But as a kid it was a bitch sometimes. At least you know he cared, and that's important. But you can have too much dad as well as not enough.

You can have too much mom, and that's a bitch. I rather have a father in my life, than a over-protecting mother.

Originally Posted by stanmsl

Same here, raised by single dad from age 12, overbearing nightmare. He smoked lots of weed and had a memory like a sieve. He was an exception to the rule however.

I noticed from the age of 11 at secondary school that the majority of misbehaving and underperforming students were the ones with no dad around. It wasn't until I discovered the manosphere I found out why.

That's the problem! Sons with single mothers aren't as successful as sons with fathers and mother. Mostly fathers, though. Jordan Peterson mentioned that single mothers create a consequences of over-protected sons, and leave them no independent freedom. This is what my own mother don't get. Single mothers ruin their. son's lives.

Any chance of having a father in their lives is slim to none. I resent and hate people for saying that they support single mothers, because she can get it, like "go-girl, you can get it and have your cake and eat it".

I hate that shit. If any one tells me, they support single mothers to be single mothers, I will fucking call them out, and I'm a product of single motherhood, and it's not good environment for boys.

Boys need their masculinity well-structured with fathers. Any one says otherwise is a fucking idiot. Especially women.

Right now, I hate women so much with a passion.

Originally Posted by UnKnownSurviving

That's the problem! Sons with single mothers aren't as successful as sons with fathers and mother. Mostly fathers, though. Jordan Peterson mentioned that single mothers create a consequences of over-protected sons, and leave them no independent freedom. This is what my own mother don't get. Single mothers ruin their. son's lives.

Any chance of having a father in their lives is slim to none. I resent and hate people for saying that they support single mothers, because she can get it, like "go-girl, you can get it and have your cake and eat it".

I hate that shit. If any one tells me, they support single mothers to be single mothers, I will fucking call them out, and I'm a product of single motherhood, and it's not good environment for boys.

Boys need their masculinity well-structured with fathers. Any one says otherwise is a fucking idiot. Especially women.

Right now, I hate women so much with a passion.

I had a friend in high school (I was a senior and he was a freshmen) who was real nice and sweet and we had a lot of things in common. During the summer after I graduated high school, he called me up (we exchanged numbers in our year books) he invited me over to his house one evening and I got to meet his mother (single) and two younger sisters and they were nice also. We all got along great, even spending the night at each others houses almost every night. But a month later, I was invited to a pool party at their pastor's house and when the lecture was over and we got back to his house, I gave the wrong impression that I don't care for religion. A week later, the single mother forbid me from seeing my friend again, because of religion and she thought I was a terrible person. Talk about being over protective; protecting her son from a supposed atheist. I hate people who take my friends (something I never had much of growing up) away from me over dumb reasons. I and he was devastated. I haven't seen him in 21 years; just after 9/11 she wrecked my friendship.

I had no friends again up until I went to a local carnival and met my now closest buddy (like a brother figure). I'm not gay, but I love him very much as if he's a member of my family. In fact, when we both can, we're going to move out of our parent's houses and find our own house to live in and build a man-to-man life together and have man caves in ALL rooms. We both have mental disabilities which has made landing a job VERY hard for us, but we're both on SSI and food stamps and living with parents.

Originally Posted by UnKnownSurviving

I hate women so much with a passion.

I don't blame you for hating women, because I do too. I don't even call them women; I refer to them as The Bitches because they are. It seems like every woman (or bitches) I dealt with (family, back in school, human resources, or public strangers) have given me reasons to despise them; they have bitchy attitudes, they say rude or obnoxious comments, they laugh or giggle at me, or they treat me like shit. I still can't get over that female manager at Kohl's who said that I will never have a job because I have no previous experience. Talk about rudeness and unprofessional. Sad thing is, the only jobs I ever had was painting and election judge (which I did 2 days ago). God women are so unloving and UUUUHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Originally Posted by ResidentEvil7

I had a friend in high school (I was a senior and he was a freshmen) who was real nice and sweet and we had a lot of things in common. During the summer after I graduated high school, he called me up (we exchanged numbers in our year books) he invited me over to his house one evening and I got to meet his mother (single) and two younger sisters and they were nice also. We all got along great, even spending the night at each others houses almost every night. But a month later, I was invited to a pool party at their pastor's house and when the lecture was over and we got back to his house, I gave the wrong impression that I don't care for religion. A week later, the single mother forbid me from seeing my friend again, because of religion and she thought I was a terrible person. Talk about being over protective; protecting her son from a supposed atheist. I hate people who take my friends (something I never had much of growing up) away from me over dumb reasons. I and he was devastated. I haven't seen him in 21 years; just after 9/11 she wrecked my friendship.

I had no friends again up until I went to a local carnival and met my now closest buddy (like a brother figure). I'm not gay, but I love him very much as if he's a member of my family. In fact, when we both can, we're going to move out of our parent's houses and find our own house to live in and build a man-to-man life together and have man caves in ALL rooms. We both have mental disabilities which has made landing a job VERY hard for us, but we're both on SSI and food stamps and living with parents.

Hmm. Maybe you were such a young man with freedom, that she sees it as too much freedom for your friend? Women want a man to be tied down, and not exert his manly masculinity to the world. Women love single men, but at the same time, she wants that same man tied down or slave to women's whim.

This is the problem for single boys with single mothers. They can't exercise their new found man power and feel the breeze of freedom. Women that are mothers don't know to to submit to fathers as a head of households, and expect that Fathers will deal with children. Mothers are not fit to raising children. Because the thing is, she's too afraid to trust their kids, to grow and find independence as kids well unto adults.

Right now I"m fucked up as it is. I'm working on freeing myself from my mother. ResidentEvil, pm me for details.