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  1. #1
    Administrator Unboxxed's Avatar
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    Mar 2014

    Man requests 'trial by combat' with ex-wife

    Ya gotta like this guy. And the court hasn't decided yet.

    January 13, 2020 - Man requests 'trial by combat' with Japanese swords to settle dispute with Iowa ex-wife

    A Kansas man has asked an Iowa court to grant his motion for trial by combat so he can meet his ex-wife and her attorney "on the field of battle where (he) will rend their souls from their corporal bodies."

    David Ostrom, 40, of Paola, Kansas, claims in court documents that his ex-wife, Bridgette Ostrom, 38, of Harlan, has "destroyed (him) legally."

    He asked the Iowa District Court in Shelby County to give him 12 weeks "lead time" in order to source or forge katana and wakizashi swords, as first reported by the Carroll Times Herald.

    "To this day, trial by combat has never been explicitly banned or restricted as a right in these United States," Ostrom argues in court records, adding that it was used "as recently as 1818 in British Court."

    When reached by phone Monday, Ostrom told the Des Moines Register that he got the idea after learning about a 2016 case in which New York Supreme Court Justice Philip Minardo acknowledged that duels had not been abolished.

    Ostrom said the motion stemmed from his frustrations with his ex-wife's attorney, Matthew Hudson of Harlan.

    "I think I've met Mr. Hudson's absurdity with my own absurdity," he said.

    Ostrom, who said he plans to request the same mediation tactic for any other disputes that may arise in court, added that his ex-wife can choose her attorney as a "champion," or stand-in fighter.

    Hudson filed a resistance to the trial by combat motion by first correcting Ostrom's spelling.

    "Surely (Ostrom) meant 'corporeal' bodies which Merriam Webster defines as having, consisting of, or relating to, a physical material body," the attorney wrote. "Although (Ostrom) and potential combatant do have souls to be rended, they respectfully request that the court not order this done."

    Hudson argued that because a duel could end in death, such ramifications likely outweigh those of property tax and custody issues.

    "It should be noted that just because the U.S. and Iowa constitutions do not specifically prohibit battling another person with a deadly katana sword, it does prohibit a court sitting in equity from ordering same," Hudson wrote.

    Hudson asked the court to suspend Ostrom's visitation rights and order him to undergo a court-ordered psychological evaluation.

    Ostrom later admitted to the misspelling, but argued he has no history of mental issues.

    Historically, he said in court records, trial by combat was not always won by way of death, but also when a party "cries craven," yielding to the other.
    craven: contemptibly lacking in courage; cowardly

    continuing with the story...

    "Respondent and counsel have proven themselves to be cravens by refusing to answer the call to battle, thus they should lose this motion by default," Ostrom wrote, adding that if the other party decided otherwise, he wants to proceed with a "blunted practice style" of sword play.

    The court has not yet ruled on either party's motions. Hudson was not immediately available for comment.

    Ostrom, who said he doesn't have any experience with sword fighting, doesn't anticipate the judge will let his request go forward, but he wants an answer anyway.

    When asked if he were serious about the dueling offer, Ostrom said, "If Mr. Hudson is willing to do it, I will meet him. I don't think he has the guts to do it."
    The two most important days in your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why. - Mark Twain

    The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.
    - Henry David Thoreau

    There are 10 types of people in the world - those who understand binary, and those who don't.

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  2. #2
    Senior Member mgtower's Avatar
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    Mar 2019
    Ghost town USA

    Re: Man requests 'trial by combat' with ex-wife

    Why not push for judicial expedience with increased volume by assembling teams of plaintiffs and defendants to a challenging game of ROLLER BALL! It would wipe all the pussy sports of the map!

  3. #3
    Senior Member Manfred's Avatar
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    Aug 2018

    Re: Man requests 'trial by combat' with ex-wife

    I object to the cultural appropriation of Japanese oppressed minorities and the intention of commiting domestic violence.

  4. #4
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2019

    Re: Man requests 'trial by combat' with ex-wife

    Trial by combat? Mr. Ostrom hasn’t a hope but I admire his tenacity.

    Might make shows like Judge Judy worth watching though.
    "Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

    All we can do is keep ourselves from all those who don't deserve it. – Dave Matthes

  5. #5
    Senior Member Knarley Bob's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2018
    Kandiyohi County, Minnesota
    Toxic old fart

    Re: Man requests 'trial by combat' with ex-wife

    Remove the weapon. Go hand to hand, the way men do it.
    A long time ago, when I had hair, my "Cupcake" asked why I got to be the head of the house hold. At the time, I was un-aware that I was. She kept pushing it, so I asked her if she'd like to step out side and find out.
    Years later she got a lawyer.....can we say CRAVEN?

    "Most problems CAN be taken care of, by a sudden impact"....Dirty Harry
    As soon as she says "I do", she don't
    MOLON LABE......."Come take them"

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