"Reductress" is often skeweringly accurate about female behaviour.

Zero percent of study participants found a high-pitched greeting invasive, intrusive, or even annoying. Indeed, dog walkers are essentially begging for me to drop whatever I’m doing to bum-rush their pup while squealing at the highest decibel my vocal cords can manage. The results suggest that pet owners have almost no reason to leave their homes unless a 30-year-old woman attempts to momentarily abduct their beloved pet.