Thread: Red-Pill Rage Stages

It is said that there are five stages of grieving:

Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, & Acceptance.

It seems to me that these are very similar to becoming red-pilled, and so maybe swallowing the red pill is actually a form of grieving, grieving for what though?

As children we are fed a Disneyesque view of the world, but as we grow we shed this for the fallacy that it is and move on, rarely reflecting upon that notion of innocence and perfection. We simply cast it aside.

Why then is it so difficult for us to cast aside the romantic notions that we have about the behaviour of women? I’d suggest that as we become older it becomes more difficult to admit our faults to ourselves, then, when the truth is thrust in our faces we go through this “grieving” process.

Sometimes it is grieving for society and what it truly is, as compared to what it could be.

Sometimes it’s for our lost innocence.

Oftentimes it’s both.

DENIAL

We all know the denial stage. We refer to people in this stage as blue-pillers. They know what is happening almost as much as you and I and yet deny this basic truth. They make excuses for the errant behaviour of others. We’ve all done it, this is not news.

ANGER

Dealing with one loss can be devastating; dealing with two simultaneously can become totally overwhelming leading to what we refer to as red-pill rage, the “anger” stage.

BARGAINING

Why am I so angry when others seem to be breezing through life? Maybe I’ve got something wrong? Maybe I’ve missed something? Maybe, if it’s possible that I was wrong then, then it’s possible I’m wrong now!

And you flit between the anger and bargaining stages until you come to the depression stage.

DEPRESSION

Ah it’s all too much. I can’t make sense of it all. There are too many unknowns. What’s the point in trying to make sense of a world that has gone insane? I’ll just give up and let others worry about trying to “fix” it. It’s all beyond me.

ACCEPTANCE

Once you accept that it’s all beyond you, then you can move on. You cease to care about the blue-pill views that were so ingrained into you while you were growing. You are now released from the self-recrimination that society tries so hard to keep you in. You develop a “fuck-you” attitude, I’m Going My Own Way.



However, there is one level missing from this progression IMO:

After acceptance comes happiness:

HAPPINESS

I’m not speaking here of the transitory feeling of having fun. That’s all fine and well and should be sought out and taken advantage of; no I’m talking about true happiness, the kind that only comes through contentment. That inner feeling of knowing yourself, what you want out of life with realistic expectations and moving forward with the knowledge that no-one can so much as dent your inner peace, at least not for long.

Society hates us because we have found that inner peace, they even have derogatory terms for us such as “self-satisfied”. Why is this a derogatory term? Because they mean it as such and for no rational explanation.

Well fuck the lot of them if they can’t understand that we have found a way to be happy without their constant approval.

Do you, our fellow members, identify with any of these stages? If you feel trapped in any of the earlier stages know that this will pass and that, like me, you can get to the last stage of true happiness.

If, AND ONLY IF, you let yourself.

It’s up to you.

I might add that a divorce intensifies the situation. Way more than losing a girlfriend. When your life is exploding. Because of some insanity from a woman. It's a powerful magnifier to those stages. Changes the way you defined them just a bit.

Denial-

Nah can't be. She wouldn't do this to us. She made a mistake. People make mistakes. You forgive the woman you love of her mistakes. Love will get us through this. We can work this out and come out stronger.

Bargaining-

Here is where married guys can really grovel. They just don't want to blow all their life up. They try to bargain with the devil. Will you stop fucking the other guy? How about if I....be more romantic....buy that bigger house.....buy you more jewlery....let you run with the girls more....do more work around the house.....and on and on. Literally trying to trade something to put things back the way they were.

I think you have the rest of the stages pretty good. I'll toss in this about anger. The weird thing for me. As it turned out I was not as mad at her fucking someone else. The deepest anger I had was at myself. I could not comprehend what a massive sucker I was. The deep belief I had in the blue pill. That took the longest for me to clear up. I can still feel a slight trigger if anyone tries to play me for a fool since then. A lasting scar for sure. Just buried way down now.

So I would call myself as healed as can be. Unless I think I'm being played for a fool by anyone. That does not go well for the other person.

If [fellow members] feel trapped in any of the earlier stages know that this will pass and that, like me, you can get to the last stage of true happiness.

I think this is an interesting framework, but I would hope that the members here are not trapped anywhere below Acceptance and Happiness. The only caveat is Depression.

Obviously Denial is for blue-pillers, so MGTOWs should definitely not be in this stage.

I think we have to look at Anger more specifically. I think you can be both MGTOW and angry, but only as a reminder of what you're going away from. This kind of anger reinforces our chosen path. The inappropriate kind of anger is the kind that, if you look more deeply, is just intense disappointment, which implies an expectation or a hope that I don't think MGTOWs have.

Bargaining is straightforward. This is not for MGTOW.

Depression, like Anger, is a little trickier, and probably the most interesting. I think you can be depressed as MGTOW for the same reason you'd get depressed as someone who is grieving. I think all humans long to be loved and touched and respected by the gender to whom they're sexually attracted. It's nature and nurture working hard together to create this desire. So it's understandable to grieve for this even though it is a MGTOW's choice to turn away from it. But, because of this choice, I think it is the duty of a MGTOW to do everything in his power to deal with the consequences of this choice by finding ways to be happy without it. So there is some leeway here when it comes to getting stuck.

Acceptance, in my opinion, is when the red pill is taken. Once you do that, you cannot deny and you cannot bargain. I don't think it's linear, meaning that I don't think there's a stage for it. The rage will show up when your friend's life is ruined because his wife fucked someone else and still gets half his shit even though she didn't work. This is the right kind of rage - sucks for him but thank god it's not me. There may be depression, but not a single stage you go through and then you're done, but it's also not the kind that drives you back to the plantation. There will be happiness - if there isn't, then MGTOW would be abandoned for that person, I would think.

Originally Posted by O.G.

The deepest anger I had was at myself. I could not comprehend what a massive sucker I was.

This ↑. Never a truer word said, but this takes reflection.

Originally Posted by Jackoff

It is said that there are five stages of grieving:

Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, & Acceptance.

It seems to me that these are very similar to becoming red-pilled, and so maybe swallowing the red pill is actually a form of grieving, grieving for what though?

As children we are fed a Disneyesque view of the world, but as we grow we shed this for the fallacy that it is and move on, rarely reflecting upon that notion of innocence and perfection. We simply cast it aside.

Why then is it so difficult for us to cast aside the romantic notions that we have about the behaviour of women? I’d suggest that as we become older it becomes more difficult to admit our faults to ourselves, then, when the truth is thrust in our faces we go through this “grieving” process.

Sometimes it is grieving for society and what it truly is, as compared to what it could be.

Sometimes it’s for our lost innocence.

Oftentimes it’s both.

DENIAL

We all know the denial stage. We refer to people in this stage as blue-pillers. They know what is happening almost as much as you and I and yet deny this basic truth. They make excuses for the errant behaviour of others. We’ve all done it, this is not news.

ANGER

Dealing with one loss can be devastating; dealing with two simultaneously can become totally overwhelming leading to what we refer to as red-pill rage, the “anger” stage.

BARGAINING

Why am I so angry when others seem to be breezing through life? Maybe I’ve got something wrong? Maybe I’ve missed something? Maybe, if it’s possible that I was wrong then, then it’s possible I’m wrong now!

And you flit between the anger and bargaining stages until you come to the depression stage.

DEPRESSION

Ah it’s all too much. I can’t make sense of it all. There are too many unknowns. What’s the point in trying to make sense of a world that has gone insane? I’ll just give up and let others worry about trying to “fix” it. It’s all beyond me.

ACCEPTANCE

Once you accept that it’s all beyond you, then you can move on. You cease to care about the blue-pill views that were so ingrained into you while you were growing. You are now released from the self-recrimination that society tries so hard to keep you in. You develop a “fuck-you” attitude, I’m Going My Own Way.



However, there is one level missing from this progression IMO:

After acceptance comes happiness:

HAPPINESS

I’m not speaking here of the transitory feeling of having fun. That’s all fine and well and should be sought out and taken advantage of; no I’m talking about true happiness, the kind that only comes through contentment. That inner feeling of knowing yourself, what you want out of life with realistic expectations and moving forward with the knowledge that no-one can so much as dent your inner peace, at least not for long.

Society hates us because we have found that inner peace, they even have derogatory terms for us such as “self-satisfied”. Why is this a derogatory term? Because they mean it as such and for no rational explanation.

Well fuck the lot of them if they can’t understand that we have found a way to be happy without their constant approval.

Do you, our fellow members, identify with any of these stages? If you feel trapped in any of the earlier stages know that this will pass and that, like me, you can get to the last stage of true happiness.

If, AND ONLY IF, you let yourself.

It’s up to you.

Concerning the ACCEPTANCE stage...

In another thread I talked about "letting it go" as a partial cure for red pill rage. I basically pulled that idea from the "Acceptance" stage of the five stages of grieving. So yes, I agree that red pill rage is basically a grieving process: Grieving the loss of your ideals, your family, your hopes and dreams, your savings, all the life you've built with a spouse, all the plans you had for the future...

In my post I called it "letting it go" instead of "acceptance" because I wanted to emphasize the active struggle to focus your mind elsewhere. In case anyone's curious, here's a link to that post: https://www.goingyourownway.com/mgtow-lounge/i-think-i-am-too-16570-post186796/#post186796

Originally Posted by O.G.

I think you have the rest of the stages pretty good. I'll toss in this about anger. The weird thing for me. As it turned out I was not as mad at her fucking someone else. The deepest anger I had was at myself. I could not comprehend what a massive sucker I was. The deep belief I had in the blue pill. That took the longest for me to clear up. I can still feel a slight trigger if anyone tries to play me for a fool since then. A lasting scar for sure. Just buried way down now.

Once I finally accepted things this is how I look at it too. You guys might have a problem, but she'd never do that to me. Right. How could I have been so dumb? Want to buy a bridge hippy?

Originally Posted by frog

Once I finally accepted things this is how I look at it too. You guys might have a problem, but she'd never do that to me. Right. How could I have been so dumb? Want to buy a bridge hippy?

The important thing is that we learned, some people never learn.

After learning wisdom comes when one practices learning from other's mistakes! It's like the moment an aircraft rotates from ground to flight, the transition is an entirely new animal!

I went through my red pill rages. It literally ate me alive and I smashed so many things. What set me free is realizing there is not one person that would care if I died so why am I caring about them? Would I get mad at a dog for barking at me even though I told it a 100 times to stop? No. because its a dog's nature. I look at women the same.

Oscar Wilde said it best

Women you can either love them or understand them but you can't do both.

My RP Rage was directed at the women in my childhood. They knew what female nature was, they said nothing.

Years later my mother admitted she was ready to leave my father but she never got the chance, he died in an accident first. My father never cheated, he always tried his best, put in long hours and gave everything he had to the family. Looking back I can see where Hypergamy was at play with my mother, she wanted more...

Why did the women keep plugging the "Treat her right/nice and she will look after you", when that was so far from the truth? They could feel Hypergamy influencing their lives...

They knew but kept lying, kept plugging how good it would be on her plantation....

When my relationship crashed and burned, their response: "She was not the one for you...". More lies.... Team Woman is stronger than flesh and blood.

I'm over the RP rage, AWALT, there are no exceptions.

Originally Posted by MGTOWFOREVER

I went through my red pill rages. It literally ate me alive and I smashed so many things. What set me free is realizing there is not one person that would care if I died so why am I caring about them? Would I get mad at a dog for barking at me even though I told it a 100 times to stop? No. because its a dog's nature. I look at women the same.

Oscar Wilde said it best

Women you can either love them or understand them but you can't do both.

Those are the only two choices that you must chose when dealing with women! Fuck! I try to tell my guys friends this advice (but didn't tell where it originates) but they just idiotically blow me off, saying "why not love? Women are not understood". I told them women are understood through their bullshit and games, (once again, I did not tell them about MGTOW. Why the fuck would I do that?). And once again, those guys proceeds to tell me, this bullshit claim: "Bro, that's love. If she fights you, that's love.".

And I can't believe this bullshit. She fights you because it's love??? That's just the greatest bullshit ever heard. But they're bluepill guys, so what do you expect out of this idiocy? Like MGTOWER said, some guys learn from this, others do not. It's kind of sad. But it is what it is.

SIMPLE ADVICE ON WOMEN
When it comes to Women, you can either LOVE THEM or UNDERSTAND THEM, but you can't do both.

Originally Posted by MGTOWFOREVER

I went through my red pill rages. It literally ate me alive and I smashed so many things. What set me free is realizing there is not one person that would care if I died so why am I caring about them? Would I get mad at a dog for barking at me even though I told it a 100 times to stop? No. because its a dog's nature. I look at women the same.

Oscar Wilde said it best

When it comes to Women, you can either love them or understand them but you can't do both.

I had my own red pill rage. I've been over it now. But at the time, I was somewhat bluepill mixes with redpill truth, and it wasn't a clear picture at the time. I grew up conservative, and had notice inconsistencies with women, when I was being told horrible advice from women when I was growing up as a kid. So during my childhood and teen years, I had several clues inconsistencies, and each clue edges closer to the truth. But it was only in my twenties that I got bought my first book, The Rational Male. From there, I was so damn pissed off as I remembered each memories that gave me clues.

It took me a while to calm down, and I had blew up at my family on several occasions. As I calmed down, I got myself more books from The Rational Male book series, and begin to internally process this new knowledge quietly without blowing up at several occasions. From time to time, I would be disgusted, and upset as I read through the book. And I kept it to myself.

When I look back at my life and think back to the times that I felt the absolute worst about myself, there was always a woman involved. Whenever I look back and think of times where I was depressed, confused, frustrated, and just generally unhappy, a woman was behind it.
When you cut that downside out of your life (being in relationships or looking for them), it really frees you of that constant weight of judgement from women. As time goes on, the freedom from that judgement becomes addictive, for lack of a better word.

For me recognizing the 5 stages of mourning is one of my biggest "life hacks." I found out life is completely packed with mourning. The only difference with mourning stages is the level of intensity. Allow me to explain: mourning is the process of loss. A term I hijacked: "the form." With the form I mean literally everything in this universe and beyond: my life, wealth, health, roles I play, jobs, people a.s.o. to infinity. The form has 3 set properties. 1 it's finite. 2 it's limiting. 3 it's unique. And with the finite aspect comes the mourning. "This too shall end" is a very profound statement. Because every form will end; my life, my job, my wealth a.s.o. Accepting the finity has liberated me from fear of loss. I'll lose it anyway, so why fear it?
Having established that the mourning comes with the inevitable loss. Be it breaking your favorite cup or losing someone dear by dying. It always comes down to the 5 stages: denial, anger (rage), bargaining, grief and acceptance. F.e. the breaking of your fav cup. 1 "this can't be happening!" (denial). 2 "you moron, why did you break that cup!! (anger). 3 "perhaps I can still fix it!" (bargaining). 4 "no, shit. I can't!" (grief). 5 "oh hell, I'll toss it away and now this is my favorite cup" (acceptance). Correct me if I missed something but until now all people fully agreed with me on this process. Breaking your favorite cup is a "level 1" intensity of mourning. A beloved person dying or the physician telling you are ill, can't recover and will die from the disease is a level 10 mourning. But all processes are exactly the same. In the physician example: 1 "that can't be right. You misdiagnosed!!" (denial). 2 "you son of a bitch, where did you buy your credentials!?" (anger). "can't I fly to the US to get treatment from one of their magical hospitals?" (bargaining). 4 "No I can't. I'm going to die!!!" (grief). 5 "shit, only now I realise what is actually important in life." (acceptance).
One thing is: the stages won't follow up each other in a neat order. You will swing over to different stages all the time. Especially with the high intense mourning. Even from acceptance you can switch back and forth to the other stages.
"Now why is this a life hack, Simp?! What good does that do to me?" Excellent question. As I see it, if you know what's going on you can lower or even ban out the suffering... As I read in the thread I saw men writing they were very depressed with the RedPill mourning. That's the suffering of your mind "I shouldn't be suffering" is suffering. If you know what's going on, you can "detach" yourself from the process and just let it play out. With my cup breaking example you can immediately go with your "inner observer" towards the "new favorite cup" stage while letting your "operator" go through the stages. let your "inner observer" formulate the words "now, here's what's going to happen: you will start with denial, then anger a.s.o. and it will end up with you accepting the form is finite. Don't resist it, just let it play out." This won't succeed instantly in most cases. It'll need "practise" but eventually you'll figure it out. If you want to. It's of course your total freedom to invest megajoules of energy in suffering. But it doesn't need to.

Originally Posted by UnKnownSurviving

Those are the only two choices that you must chose when dealing with women! Fuck! I try to tell my guys friends this advice (but didn't tell where it originates) but they just idiotically blow me off, saying "why not love? Women are not understood". I told them women are understood through their bullshit and games, (once again, I did not tell them about MGTOW. Why the fuck would I do that?). And once again, those guys proceeds to tell me, this bullshit claim: "Bro, that's love. If she fights you, that's love.".

And I can't believe this bullshit. She fights you because it's love??? That's just the greatest bullshit ever heard. But they're bluepill guys, so what do you expect out of this idiocy? Like MGTOWER said, some guys learn from this, others do not. It's kind of sad. But it is what it is.

SIMPLE ADVICE ON WOMEN
When it comes to Women, you can either LOVE THEM or UNDERSTAND THEM, but you can't do both.

Women DO pick fights to shit test you. If you just don't argue with her cause it's pointless then she looks at you as weak. But if you argue with her then she will play victim but love the challenge. I don't do either. Women love to think they are superstars so that's how I act. If they pick a fight with me then I just tell them to fuck off, smile, and walk away. Act like I am a big shot. I really don't pay attention to women anymore.

I had my own red pill rage. I've been over it now. But at the time, I was somewhat bluepill mixes with redpill truth, and it wasn't a clear picture at the time. I grew up conservative, and had notice inconsistencies with women, when I was being told horrible advice from women when I was growing up as a kid. So during my childhood and teen years, I had several clues inconsistencies, and each clue edges closer to the truth. But it was only in my twenties that I got bought my first book, The Rational Male. From there, I was so damn pissed off as I remembered each memories that gave me clues.

It took me a while to calm down, and I had blew up at my family on several occasions. As I calmed down, I got myself more books from The Rational Male book series, and begin to internally process this new knowledge quietly without blowing up at several occasions. From time to time, I would be disgusted, and upset as I read through the book. And I kept it to myself.

I was a total blue pill people pleaser. I never said NO. I watched how women would say one thing but do another. The old "Do as I say , not as I do". Women fell into 3 categories. Straight up bitch, chameleon, or unicorn.

Straight up bitch(Think your cliche prissy bitch from the movies. Regina from Mean Girls is a good example).

Chameleon- The "I'm not like other girls" woman. She will pretend to be "cool" but will still blame men and laugh at jokes that insult men.

Unicorn- She is the most dangerous. She is usually really hot and will cause tension between your group of friends. Your male friends will automatically believe her no matter what. She is an upgraded chameleon. What is a unicorn? A NON-EXISTANT horse with a freak spear on his head that WILL tear you to shreds.

After getting married and my wife being a total fucking whore, I had enough. I tried to talk to people and their responses were either insults in disguise, taking her side by asking questions that take her side, or the old "I don't know dude". But if she lied to people then it was believed. An ex friend wanted to shoot me cause of what she says. He was such a retard because I was with him for 2 days when she claimed I threw her down stairs. She obviously had no marks on her cause it never happened. Matter of fact if I threw her down the stairs she claimed I did then she would be fucking dead. 3 floors up. Thick wooden stairs with concrete landings. The divorce was brutal.

I dated after my divorce. This is no joke. I got so sick of women after a lifetime of dealing with their shit that I went to church and prayed to God to make me gay. No such luck. I decided to go MGTOW before I knew what it was. Now I live for me. One thing I noticed during my recovery is I had red pill knowledge but still lived blue pill. Now I call it what it is. No woke bullshit. Life has been so much better without women. My whole house is my man cave and I love it. No nagging , controling, or insulting woman to ruin my life.

Originally Posted by MGTOWFOREVER

Women DO pick fights to shit test you. If you just don't argue with her cause it's pointless then she looks at you as weak. But if you argue with her then she will play victim but love the challenge. I don't do either. Women love to think they are superstars so that's how I act. If they pick a fight with me then I just tell them to fuck off, smile, and walk away. Act like I am a big shot. I really don't pay attention to women anymore.





I was a total blue pill people pleaser. I never said NO. I watched how women would say one thing but do another. The old "Do as I say , not as I do". Women fell into 3 categories. Straight up bitch, chameleon, or unicorn.

Straight up bitch(Think your cliche prissy bitch from the movies. Regina from Mean Girls is a good example).

Chameleon- The "I'm not like other girls" woman. She will pretend to be "cool" but will still blame men and laugh at jokes that insult men.

Unicorn- She is the most dangerous. She is usually really hot and will cause tension between your group of friends. Your male friends will automatically believe her no matter what. She is an upgraded chameleon. What is a unicorn? A NON-EXISTANT horse with a freak spear on his head that WILL tear you to shreds.

After getting married and my wife being a total fucking whore, I had enough. I tried to talk to people and their responses were either insults in disguise, taking her side by asking questions that take her side, or the old "I don't know dude". But if she lied to people then it was believed. An ex friend wanted to shoot me cause of what she says. He was such a retard because I was with him for 2 days when she claimed I threw her down stairs. She obviously had no marks on her cause it never happened. Matter of fact if I threw her down the stairs she claimed I did then she would be fucking dead. 3 floors up. Thick wooden stars with concrete landings. The divorce was brutal.

I dated after my divorce. This is no joke. I got so sick of women after a lifetime of dealing with their shit that I went to church and prayed to God to make me gay. No such luck. I decided to go MGTOW before I knew what it was. Now I live for me. One thing I noticed during my recovery is I had red pill knowledge but still lived blue pill. Now I call it what it is. No woke bullshit. Life has been so much better without women. My whole house is my man cave and I love it. No nagging , controling, or insulting woman to ruin my life.

On MGTOW REDDIT, before it got banned, I get a lot of advice from there, one of them is: "Watch what she does, not what she says"

It was a solid advice. and I actually notice the difference in women's words and her behaviors was exact opposite of what she says. So solid advice.

Originally Posted by UnKnownSurviving

On MGTOW REDDIT, before it got banned, I get a lot of advice from there, one of them is: "Watch what she does, not what she says"

It was a solid advice. and I actually notice the difference in women's words and her behaviors was exact opposite of what she says. So solid advice.

Words to live by!

But this doesn’t just apply to women. Words are cheap. Only go by what people do.

I personally never went through any stages of grief, probably because I was never blue pilled to begin with. That’s all more the beginner stuff when people first get red-pilled. Once you are and have been for a long time, you’ll find many aspects of the Red Pill very fascinating the further you walk through life and see it all play out.

One thing I recently ran into a lot was the female hive mind. I think that is the most fascinating aspect of the entire red pill and I am just really starting to truly understand this because it so foreign to us men: Women literally share the same mind. They just know without talking with each other or even being in the same location. And they don’t have to even like each other either, they are still connected to the same mind. But that’s a topic deserving of a separate thread.

"I dated after my divorce. This is no joke. I got so sick of women after a lifetime of dealing with their shit that I went to church and prayed to God to make me gay. No such luck. I decided to go MGTOW before I knew what it was. Now I live for me. One thing I noticed during my recovery is I had red pill knowledge but still lived blue pill. Now I call it what it is. No woke bullshit. Life has been so much better without women. My whole house is my man cave and I love it. No nagging , controling, or insulting woman to ruin my life."

This is known as Dammitol. It comes in .32, .38, and .45 caliber. Don't let women fuck with your mind. Go with God and live a healthy life.

Originally Posted by The Captain

"I dated after my divorce. This is no joke. I got so sick of women after a lifetime of dealing with their shit that I went to church and prayed to God to make me gay. No such luck. I decided to go MGTOW before I knew what it was. Now I live for me. One thing I noticed during my recovery is I had red pill knowledge but still lived blue pill. Now I call it what it is. No woke bullshit. Life has been so much better without women. My whole house is my man cave and I love it. No nagging , controling, or insulting woman to ruin my life."

This is known as Dammitol. It comes in .32, .38, and .45 caliber. Don't let women fuck with your mind. Go with God and live a healthy life.

God-dammitol comes in .357mag, .44mag, and anything over and including .50cal!

Why dammitol when you can God-dammitol? 2nd and 3rd rounds are not necessary unless you like hamburger and spam.