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  1. #1
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    People that judge you because you live for yourself.

    When you live for yourself, you do as you wish, dress as you wish, and quietly live as you wish, right? Why is it when your housemates live her life (around a work schedule and helping raise her grandchildren) dump on you for not living your life as she lives hers?

    The husband of the couple also tills/plants/cultivates a vegetable garden on the property. This is all well and good, but I really have no desire to "work the soil". I don't know what his wife does, but I wound up yelling at her for nosing into my business. She became butthurt because I finally told her to mind her own business. I'm not her husband/brother/boyfriend and shouldn't be required to feel/live life/react as she sees fit. Her husband tolerates her attitude, but I am tiring of her intrusive questions.

    I make an effort to keep to myself and spend a good 90% of my time in my room and keep to myself.

    Any suggestions?

  2. #2
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    Re: People that judge you because you live for yourself.

    Find your own place. (Assuming that's economically feasible)

  3. #3
    Senior Member mgtower's Avatar
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    Re: People that judge you because you live for yourself.

    Quote Originally Posted by The Captain View Post
    When you live for yourself, you do as you wish, dress as you wish, and quietly live as you wish, right? Why is it when your housemates live her life (around a work schedule and helping raise her grandchildren) dump on you for not living your life as she lives hers?

    The husband of the couple also tills/plants/cultivates a vegetable garden on the property. This is all well and good, but I really have no desire to "work the soil". I don't know what his wife does, but I wound up yelling at her for nosing into my business. She became butthurt because I finally told her to mind her own business. I'm not her husband/brother/boyfriend and shouldn't be required to feel/live life/react as she sees fit. Her husband tolerates her attitude, but I am tiring of her intrusive questions.

    I make an effort to keep to myself and spend a good 90% of my time in my room and keep to myself.

    Any suggestions?
    Screw the door shut, plaster over it, then cut out a window and replace it with a new door! I can't imagine any other way that doesn't involve moving!

    We had a neighbor when I was a kid, her name was Irene, I renamed her Spyrene! We caught her eavesdropping allover the neighborhood several times, she would listen outside any open window, even if it meant trespassing in someone's driveway!

    We hatched up stories whenever we knew she was listening, stories that would make the Soprano's look like angles!

    Always feed gossip gobblers copious amounts of shit, it keeps their sceptic tank skulls churning and fermenting!
    Corruption, like low tide, lowers all boats and smashes their hulls on the rocks.

  4. #4
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    Re: People that judge you because you live for yourself.

    Quote Originally Posted by Gunnar View Post
    Find your own place. (Assuming that's economically feasible)
    Sadly, no.

  5. #5
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    Re: People that judge you because you live for yourself.

    Adopt Satanism?

  6. #6
    Senior Member mgtower's Avatar
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    Re: People that judge you because you live for yourself.

    With the next Brandon initiated slew of foreclosures by high interest rates, inflation, and stagnation, surly there's something available you can squat on?

    I acquired half my mini farm (and enlarging) by squatter's rights! There's no laws against squatting, just some harassment to endure and claims to file, then they go away frustrated and I continue squatting. I haven't been harassed since the 90's, by now they must realize I'm here to stay! I'm like a caterpillar eating a leaf, except I do entire stands of TREES!
    Corruption, like low tide, lowers all boats and smashes their hulls on the rocks.

  7. #7
    Senior Member MGTOWFOREVER's Avatar
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    Re: People that judge you because you live for yourself.

    People will always find a way to complain about something. Stop caring what they think and trying to please them. You ever notice people act like you need their approval and their opinion matters? It doesn't mean crap to me. I do what I want and when I want (within the law of course). If someone's gina tingles doesn't like it then oh to the well. Let them scream & yell, jump and down, gaslight me, etc. I don't care anymore.
    Stay away from women. They will only break your heart.

  8. #8

    Re: People that judge you because you live for yourself.

    Social expectations. The plantation. Social conditioning. Shaming tactics. Brainwashing. Grooming. Misery loves company. The herd. Every social system has them. Every region of the world developed them. You're supposed to be obediently following the herd to your eventual (and planned) doom.

    You are financially trapped. Until you can extricate yourself from said situation, you'll remain financially trapped. Others have direct, free access to your daily life, which very much sucks. They will critique every aspect of your life, hoping to get you to fall into the trap in which they themselves now stew.

    I lived the way you now do until, through massive good fortune, I found a way to escape. Now, I'm completely independent and live entirely on my own. The possibility of ever losing my sovereignty is the stuff of my most frequent nightmares. A massive stroke or coronary would be preferable to dementia, which fortunately for me, doesn't run in my family.

    Other than my attorney, who has power of attorney should I become mentally disabled and unable to make my own decisions, no one has direct access or power in or over my life, which is how I intend to keep it. This should be the intent of every man - to live his life free of other people's negative influence and control over his life. I hold nothing but deep compassion for those who are unable. I lived that way long enough to know the horrors involved.

    Until they completely destroy your life, ignorance and self-delusion are sheer bliss.

    Most people can't handle the truth, so they capitulate to the lies. Such is the essence of The Blue Pill.

    MGTOW 4 The Win
    Sex is the bait. Marriage is the trap. Divorce rape is the goal.

  9. #9
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    Re: People that judge you because you live for yourself.

    Quote Originally Posted by The Captain View Post
    [...] Why is it when your housemates live her life (around a work schedule and helping raise her grandchildren) dump on you for not living your life as she lives hers? [...]
    1. She's insecure. She wants you to do the same things she does, for 2 reasons: First, to validate the life choices she made. (If she can get someone else to live the same shitty way, then what she's doing won't appear totally wrong. It's called intentional self-delusion, a form of escape from reality.) Second, so she can be the expert and correct the stuff you do wrong, which in her eyes would be pretty much everything simply because you'd be the newb. That's raises her own sense of self-worth.

    2. She's miserable and wants someone else to be miserable with her.

    3. She's lonely and wants daily company and you're probably the closest potential victim. You're also a captive victim, i.e. easy prey to bat around like a cat plays with an injured mouse that can't escape. So, she'll keep pushing and pushing because she knows you can't get away from it. And if she fails, she'll experience no measurable blowback. Her investment of aggravation (of you, daily) costs her nothing, and the penalties of failure are zero.

    4. More generally, she's a control freak. But every woman is that to some degree, so that shouldn't be a surprise.

  10. #10

    Re: People that judge you because you live for yourself.

    Life and judgement are synonymous
    Women = drama
    try to ignore and avoid here even if she does talk to you. Its better for you health long term

  11. #11

    Re: People that judge you because you live for yourself.

    Quote Originally Posted by The Captain View Post
    When you live for yourself, you do as you wish, dress as you wish, and quietly live as you wish, right? Why is it when your housemates live her life (around a work schedule and helping raise her grandchildren) dump on you for not living your life as she lives hers?

    The husband of the couple also tills/plants/cultivates a vegetable garden on the property. This is all well and good, but I really have no desire to "work the soil". I don't know what his wife does, but I wound up yelling at her for nosing into my business. She became butthurt because I finally told her to mind her own business. I'm not her husband/brother/boyfriend and shouldn't be required to feel/live life/react as she sees fit. Her husband tolerates her attitude, but I am tiring of her intrusive questions.

    I make an effort to keep to myself and spend a good 90% of my time in my room and keep to myself.

    Any suggestions?
    There's a type of person (call him "Beta" if that works for you) who is always agreeable. This is a man who despises conflict and will put a lot of effort into avoiding it when necessary. If someone professes a political opinion with which he vehemently disagrees, he'd never dream of saying "I disagree". He'll just shrug his shoulders and move on.

    He might even ask others for advice or suggestions on how to handle a conflict or disagreement with someone.

    There's another, more independent type of person (a few different personality types fit here) who doesn't necessarily seek conflict out. But at the same time, he won't lift a finger to avoid conflict either. Because if it needs to happen, then it needs to happen. If someone professes a political opinion with which he disagrees, he'll say "I don't agree with that at all, I think you're wrong". If asked, he'll elaborate on why he thinks the other person is wrong.

    This man simply does what he believes to be right. Furthermore, he won't stand for someone questioning his lifestyle choices and he'll seek full independence in his life so that he can speak his mind whenever he wishes. Other people have no power over him because he doesn't depend on them for anything vital.

    This is the type of man who doesn't ask for advice pretty much ever.

  12. #12
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    Re: People that judge you because you live for yourself.

    I think that she's figured out that I refuse to put up with her nonsense. (She understands that I'm not going to "bow in submission" to her questions/opinions).

    As a child, I was my mother's emotional "whipping boy". This is another reason that I won't be, in any wise, subject to her thoughts. (I'm a free man, not and not subject to her capricious whim).

    She can "keep her husband's testicles in a box", but not mine.

  13. #13
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    Re: People that judge you because you live for yourself.

    Quote Originally Posted by OwenWentFullMGTOW View Post
    There's a type of person (call him "Beta" if that works for you) who is always agreeable. This is a man who despises conflict and will put a lot of effort into avoiding it when necessary. If someone professes a political opinion with which he vehemently disagrees, he'd never dream of saying "I disagree". He'll just shrug his shoulders and move on.

    He might even ask others for advice or suggestions on how to handle a conflict or disagreement with someone.

    There's another, more independent type of person (a few different personality types fit here) who doesn't necessarily seek conflict out. But at the same time, he won't lift a finger to avoid conflict either. Because if it needs to happen, then it needs to happen. If someone professes a political opinion with which he disagrees, he'll say "I don't agree with that at all, I think you're wrong". If asked, he'll elaborate on why he thinks the other person is wrong.

    This man simply does what he believes to be right. Furthermore, he won't stand for someone questioning his lifestyle choices and he'll seek full independence in his life so that he can speak his mind whenever he wishes. Other people have no power over him because he doesn't depend on them for anything vital.

    This is the type of man who doesn't ask for advice pretty much ever.
    Sometimes it's better to avoid an argument because it's a waste of time/energy......or because there could be consequences (i.e. arguing politics with co-workers could lead to losing one's job). Even outside of work, there are people that will bait others into an argument in order to get a rise out of them. It's very rare that one will change somebody else's mind as far as politics goes.

  14. #14
    Senior Member MGTOWFOREVER's Avatar
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    Re: People that judge you because you live for yourself.

    Quote Originally Posted by Brock View Post
    Sometimes it's better to avoid an argument because it's a waste of time/energy......or because there could be consequences (i.e. arguing politics with co-workers could lead to losing one's job). Even outside of work, there are people that will bait others into an argument in order to get a rise out of them. It's very rare that one will change somebody else's mind as far as politics goes.
    You can't win no matter what. If you argue then you face consequences, gas lighting, and all types of name calling. If you don't argue then you are considered a weak spineless pushover.

    I weigh the odds. Pick my battles. If it's someone important (i.e. boss or the like) then I will speak my mind but calmly and politely. If it's just some asshole then I look at the odds. A group of teenagers yelling "faggot" from a car. I just roll my eyes cause they are looking for a fight and are possibly armed. The numbers and age advantage . They will be looked at as little angels so I will just roll my eyes.

    Some asshole cashier then yeah fuck em. They get a piece of my mind.
    Stay away from women. They will only break your heart.

  15. #15
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    Re: People that judge you because you live for yourself.

    Yes, that is fucked.

    I once lived with an older lady, she was passed menopause.

    She kept to herself but would cook dinner for me and the other young gentleman living with her a few times a month. Anytime she cooked the cost was listening to her talk. It wasn't too bad and her cooking was on point so I figured it was worth the trade. She did an amazing job keeping the home spotless.

    I did move out after two months because she smoked cigarettes inside with the windows closed.

  16. #16
    Administrator Unboxxed's Avatar
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    Re: People that judge you because you live for yourself.

    Quote Originally Posted by The Captain View Post
    I make an effort to keep to myself and spend a good 90% of my time in my room and keep to myself.

    Any suggestions?
    Yes, but you may shoot it down.

    The fact that you had to get rude with her intrusiveness (and to where it hurt her) suggests to me that you had not previously made them aware of your closed-in nature. That's not their fault.

    As painful as this may be for you, throw her a bone and come out of your room once in a while to let them get more than a glimpse of you. Obviously she inquires into your business to get insight into who you are. That's how people do. Perhaps she does it to reassure herself (and hubby) that you are not some kind of weird person. She/they may be worried you may need their help on occasion but won't ask. Lots of well-meaning things go on in people's heads when living around a closed-off person. She may view her inquiries as only a somewhat benevolent social misdemeanor, if even that, while you as a private person naturally view it as nothing short of felony intrusion.

    Maybe she was concerned that you did not like them much, having never asked after them ("I don't know what his wife does"), and now she is sure of it, once you told her to MYOB.

    This effort you make to keep to yourself, an effort you say it is. Is this effort expended on their behalf, because you assume you need to stay invisible to them?

    The more you pulled back, the more you drew her to you. Consider to let them see/know a bit more of you, maybe if only for a short while, before retreating back into your shell. That might satisfy them/her.

    Sorry, but as I write this, this actually sounds like an episode of the old Andy Griffith Show where someone blows into Mayberry and is misunderstood by the locals until a crucial scene, then everybody gives a little and things go much nicer from then on, with smiles all around. Cue closing music and credits.

    You rent a room in their house, yes? Hoo boy and now you have a cold freeze with the wife. Not good. Apologizing to her for your abruptness of MYOB would be a good start of a thaw. You can do this. Don't be the 69-year-old who is too old to start owing anybody anything all because you pay your rent and that somehow should be the end of obligations to those around you.
    The two most important days in your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why. - Mark Twain

    The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.
    - Henry David Thoreau

    There are 10 types of people in the world - those who understand binary, and those who don't.

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  17. #17
    Senior Member mgtower's Avatar
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    Re: People that judge you because you live for yourself.

    Quote Originally Posted by Unboxxed View Post
    Yes, but you may shoot it down.

    The fact that you had to get rude with her intrusiveness (and to where it hurt her) suggests to me that you had not previously made them aware of your closed-in nature. That's not their fault.

    As painful as this may be for you, throw her a bone and come out of your room once in a while to let them get more than a glimpse of you. Obviously she inquires into your business to get insight into who you are. That's how people do. Perhaps she does it to reassure herself (and hubby) that you are not some kind of weird person. She/they may be worried you may need their help on occasion but won't ask. Lots of well-meaning things go on in people's heads when living around a closed-off person. She may view her inquiries as only a somewhat benevolent social misdemeanor, if even that, while you as a private person naturally view it as nothing short of felony intrusion.

    Maybe she was concerned that you did not like them much, having never asked after them ("I don't know what his wife does"), and now she is sure of it, once you told her to MYOB.

    This effort you make to keep to yourself, an effort you say it is. Is this effort expended on their behalf, because you assume you need to stay invisible to them?

    The more you pulled back, the more you drew her to you. Consider to let them see/know a bit more of you, maybe if only for a short while, before retreating back into your shell. That might satisfy them/her.

    Sorry, but as I write this, this actually sounds like an episode of the old Andy Griffith Show where someone blows into Mayberry and is misunderstood by the locals until a crucial scene, then everybody gives a little and things go much nicer from then on, with smiles all around. Cue closing music and credits.

    You rent a room in their house, yes? Hoo boy and now you have a cold freeze with the wife. Not good. Apologizing to her for your abruptness of MYOB would be a good start of a thaw. You can do this. Don't be the 69-year-old who is too old to start owing anybody anything all because you pay your rent and that somehow should be the end of obligations to those around you.
    I wish I had 1/10th the heart you have!

    On second thought, maybe not, being a prick is me being in my element.

    I was warm and fuzzy once upon time, does that count?
    Corruption, like low tide, lowers all boats and smashes their hulls on the rocks.

  18. #18
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    Re: People that judge you because you live for yourself.

    The homeowner doesn't live in the house. The man works the farm and lives in town (about 3 miles away). The woman's husband and I get along just fine. We communicate and have decent relations.

    We have since been getting along.

  19. #19
    Senior Member Neo's Avatar
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    Re: People that judge you because you live for yourself.

    Are you sure she's not hungry for something?
    It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society." - Jiddu Krishnamurti

  20. #20
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    Re: People that judge you because you live for yourself.

    Unboxxed is on the right track. Give them a few minutes here and there. If their grandkids not a jerk, you could do them a two-bit favor once and a while. That might help.
    Every day I make the world a little bit worse.


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