Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 20 of 23
  1. #1

    My wife and I missed mortgage payments because of unpaid debts, yet she shops and hides her finances. What do I do?

    Published: Dec. 18, 2020 at 11:47 a.m. ET Yahoo dot com ĎOn a few occasions, I have suggested selling the house or considering bankruptcy to restructure our debts, but she is unwilling to consider eitherí



    " . . . Over the last two years, events have not gone in our favor, especially with COVID-19. In March, I had to have gallstone surgery, and thatís when our money problems came to the forefront. My wife and I donít discuss bills, debts, savings or even spending.

    And yet a combination of overdue bills and unpaid debts have led to us missing mortgage payments, and have created a constant and stressful reminder that she is constantly spending money, and even asking about constant vacations that we can not afford. Multiple attempts to get my wife to see the light have ended in heated arguments with no resolution.
    On a few occasions, I have suggested selling the house or considering bankruptcy to restructure our debts, but she is unwilling to consider either. I have no knowledge of her financial situation, yet Iím always transparent with mine. This has obviously become a huge problem in our marriage, and I donít know what else I can do to try and save both our relationship, and our financial future. What do I do?

    Response by Quinton Farrell: " . . . If you live in a community-property state ó Arizona, California, Idaho, Louisiana, Nevada, New Mexico, Texas, Washington, Wisconsin ó debt taken on during your marriage is community property and you are both responsible for these debts. Bankruptcy may be an unpleasant, but necessary option. You canít have a marriage without trust. If your wife doesnít cooperate, you will have a painful choice . . . "

    Commenter: Wife who won't stop spending money on vacations and whatever? Disaster A "Divorce" or Disaster B as in "bankruptcy" ? Or both?









  2. #2
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    Posts
    3,732
    Reputation
    11293
    Type
    Ghosted by law and order.

    Re: My wife and I missed mortgage payments because of unpaid debts, yet she shops and hides her finances. What do I do?

    Take away all her privilege and treat her like a child, or throw her out in the snow! But that's DV, and that's criminal, so don't get married in the first place, it's like giving a child a loaded gun that automatically aims at you!
    Joe Biden: A legend in his own mind...

  3. #3
    Senior Member Manfred's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2018
    Posts
    479
    Reputation
    3557
    Type
    Ghost

    Re: My wife and I missed mortgage payments because of unpaid debts, yet she shops and hides her finances. What do I do?

    Solution: run away to another country and change name.

  4. #4
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    Posts
    3,732
    Reputation
    11293
    Type
    Ghosted by law and order.

    Re: My wife and I missed mortgage payments because of unpaid debts, yet she shops and hides her finances. What do I do?

    Quote Originally Posted by Manfred View Post
    Solution: run away to another country and change name.
    Take her with you and come back without her! Some countries you can sell her with a bill of sale, or trade her for a goat!
    Joe Biden: A legend in his own mind...

  5. #5
    Administrator Unboxxed's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2014
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    4,042
    Reputation
    12924
    Type
    enigmatic

    Re: My wife and I missed mortgage payments because of unpaid debts, yet she shops and hides her finances. What do I do?

    Link, please.
    The two most important days in your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why. - Mark Twain

    The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.
    - Henry David Thoreau

    There are 10 types of people in the world - those who understand binary, and those who don't.

    Suitable for bookmarking: www.fakehatecrimes.org and www.breitbart.com/tag/hate-crime-hoax

  6. #6
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    Posts
    3,732
    Reputation
    11293
    Type
    Ghosted by law and order.

    Re: My wife and I missed mortgage payments because of unpaid debts, yet she shops and hides her finances. What do I do?

    Quote Originally Posted by Unboxxed View Post
    Link, please.
    Sounds like a line from the MATRIX.
    Joe Biden: A legend in his own mind...

  7. #7

    Re: My wife and I missed mortgage payments because of unpaid debts, yet she shops and hides her finances. What do I do?

    Rich and powerful sociopaths weaponized female nature, and made it the law of the land that women are entitled to spend male money without any obligations in return.

    Is your enemy:
    a. Women, or
    b. Sociopaths
    ?

    Never forget who your true enemy is. Even if female nature is completely obnoxious. The sociopaths are the ones that took away your rights to mitigate female nature.

  8. #8

    Re: My wife and I missed mortgage payments because of unpaid debts, yet she shops and hides her finances. What do I do?

    https://www.marketwatch.com/story/my...-do-2020-12-17
    Quote Originally Posted by Unboxxed View Post
    Link, please.

  9. #9
    Senior Member ResidentEvil7's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2021
    Location
    Suburban Chicago, IL
    Posts
    205
    Reputation
    175
    Type
    Ghost

    Re: My wife and I missed mortgage payments because of unpaid debts, yet she shops and hides her finances. What do I do?

    I think he should shoot her and run for his life from the authorities, because this marriage set this man up for financial failure and he's paying it.

    [Mod note: Shoot her? Although I think you're being flip here, you're a newbie and I don't know your propensity to talk like this, and then we have our Principles which makes no allowance for such advice anyway. Warning issued.

    From our Principles:

    Don't:
    Advocate wanton violence towards women. Discussion of the appropriate use of force, in self-defense with women is acceptable. Discussion of using appropriate non-violent physicality in disciplining women is appropriate. Discussing the nature and possibility of physical aggression against women is fine as long as it is not advocated.]
    Last edited by Unboxxed; July 12, 2021 at 11:46 PM.
    It's a man's world and we need to take it by the throat and make it give us what we desire.

  10. #10

    Re: My wife and I missed mortgage payments because of unpaid debts, yet she shops and hides her finances. What do I do?

    Quote Originally Posted by mgtower View Post
    Take away all her privilege and treat her like a child,
    That's what I did, then-wife went on a spending spree, for some other man.... I changed my bank details at work for a non joint account.

    Man or woman, if you do not earn something you will not value it the same as if you do earn it. The women that are good with money that I know are book keepers or accountants, most of the rest don't have a clue...

  11. #11
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    Posts
    3,732
    Reputation
    11293
    Type
    Ghosted by law and order.

    Re: My wife and I missed mortgage payments because of unpaid debts, yet she shops and hides her finances. What do I do?

    Quote Originally Posted by RustyNuts View Post
    That's what I did, then-wife went on a spending spree, for some other man.... I changed my bank details at work for a non joint account.

    Man or woman, if you do not earn something you will not value it the same as if you do earn it. The women that are good with money that I know are book keepers or accountants, most of the rest don't have a clue...
    Personal debt is a sure sign of cognitive dissidence, national debt is one in the same rendering such nations untrustworthy while campaigning for utter decimation, the trust is rust holding hands instead of stainless steel!
    Don't tell us to straighten out our own house while their house is in chaos and disorder. Egotistical lying cheating stealing officials of any dysfunctional form of government have no legitimate business holding any perceived authority over the people, it's at that point a society becomes unstable and an endangerment to the people.
    Joe Biden: A legend in his own mind...

  12. #12
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2019
    Location
    Wherever you go, there you are.
    Posts
    1,992
    Reputation
    3387
    Type
    Just Me.

    Re: My wife and I missed mortgage payments because of unpaid debts, yet she shops and hides her finances. What do I do?

    This marriage is over, he just hasn’t admitted it to himself yet, but she knows and she’s gonna milk it for all she can before she moves on. With this attitude she probably already has a new target in her sights.

    Monkey branching – because money grows on trees!

  13. #13
    Senior Member ResidentEvil7's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2021
    Location
    Suburban Chicago, IL
    Posts
    205
    Reputation
    175
    Type
    Ghost

    Re: My wife and I missed mortgage payments because of unpaid debts, yet she shops and hides her finances. What do I do?

    Quote Originally Posted by Jackoff View Post
    This marriage is over, he just hasn’t admitted it to himself yet, but she knows and she’s gonna milk it for all she can before she moves on. With this attitude she probably already has a new target in her sights.

    Monkey branching – because money grows on trees!
    That's right, it's over. She's going to spend her husband's money until he has nothing but mass debt and when the money is all dried up and the debts have to be paid, she moves on, leaving her husband flat broke wondering how he'll get out of it. This could be a new MGTOW man.
    It's a man's world and we need to take it by the throat and make it give us what we desire.

  14. #14
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2019
    Location
    Wherever you go, there you are.
    Posts
    1,992
    Reputation
    3387
    Type
    Just Me.

    Re: My wife and I missed mortgage payments because of unpaid debts, yet she shops and hides her finances. What do I do?

    Quote Originally Posted by ResidentEvil7 View Post
    That's right, it's over. She's going to spend her husband's money until he has nothing but mass debt and when the money is all dried up and the debts have to be paid, she moves on, leaving her husband flat broke wondering how he'll get out of it. This could be a new MGTOW man.
    I'd like to think so.

    I'd also like to think he has the nonce to syphon out some funds before the big day (divorce court).

    But he says he wants to save the marriage.

    Blue pill to the core.

    When she fucks him royally, he'll probably go out and find another to do it to him again, and again...

  15. #15
    Senior Member ResidentEvil7's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2021
    Location
    Suburban Chicago, IL
    Posts
    205
    Reputation
    175
    Type
    Ghost

    Re: My wife and I missed mortgage payments because of unpaid debts, yet she shops and hides her finances. What do I do?

    Quote Originally Posted by Jackoff View Post
    Ihe'll probably go out and find another to do it to him again, and again...
    A guy can only make the same mistake so many times until he learns and this man is going to learn it the hard way. Besides, when the next woman finds out he's broke and in debt, they will turn away, because no woman is going to hook up with a man who is broke.
    It's a man's world and we need to take it by the throat and make it give us what we desire.

  16. #16
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2019
    Location
    Wherever you go, there you are.
    Posts
    1,992
    Reputation
    3387
    Type
    Just Me.

    Re: My wife and I missed mortgage payments because of unpaid debts, yet she shops and hides her finances. What do I do?

    Quote Originally Posted by ResidentEvil7 View Post
    A guy can only make the same mistake so many times until he learns and this man is going to learn it the hard way. Besides, when the next woman finds out he's broke and in debt, they will turn away, because no woman is going to hook up with a man who is broke.
    It kind of depends on how broke she is! (and I'm not just talking financially).

  17. #17

    Re: My wife and I missed mortgage payments because of unpaid debts, yet she shops and hides her finances. What do I do?

    Quote Originally Posted by ResidentEvil7 View Post
    A guy can only make the same mistake so many times until he learns and this man is going to learn it the hard way.
    Some men are not too bright..... I worked with a fellow a few years back, he had 2 ex-wives that both had kids to him that he was paying maintenance (Child support) to and he would be calling his fiancť (I don't think she was working, just living with him) before work to exchange I Love You's.... He had to be pulling in $+275K yr and the new girl could see the $$$$.... He was tired of working in the mines but he couldn't leave the money.

    Quote Originally Posted by ResidentEvil7 View Post
    when the next woman finds out he's broke and in debt, they will turn away, because no woman is going to hook up with a man who is broke.
    Women will also look at what the man's potential is. If she feels he has large potential and he is of high value to her she sometimes will jump on early in the ride up. These are likely women that are not first picks at the end of the race anyway.

  18. #18
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2021
    Posts
    12
    Reputation
    15
    Type
    Neutral

    Re: My wife and I missed mortgage payments because of unpaid debts, yet she shops and hides her finances. What do I do?

    You should try to convince her that her spendings are bringing financial problems to you and that she needs to change her mind, having the right financial priorities. If she does not understand, you should consider divorce maybe, because her behavior will probably lead to even worse financial problems in the future.

  19. #19

    Re: My wife and I missed mortgage payments because of unpaid debts, yet she shops and hides her finances. What do I do?

    Quote Originally Posted by josh32 View Post
    You should try to convince her that her spendings are bringing financial problems to you and that she needs to change her mind, having the right financial priorities.
    Ya, good luck with that...

    As we know, women think more with their emotions, or the thought processes are driven by their emotions, this is part of human nature or really female nature. That's not going to change. Shopping or spending money freely (not where you should be like bills and mortgage) gives the one shopping a short emotional high. This can be multiplied if the shopping is a gift. This is not limited to just women, but is much more common and stronger in women. So to reason with her, (that is logic, not emotional), you are really trying to tell her, she can not feel good about herself anymore, (no emotional high from shopping or giving the gifts).... I guess it all depends how much of a "Junkie" she is on that emotional high she gets from shopping etc. Most times by the time it gets to be a problem she really is a "Junkie" and will need outside help to kick the habit.... You can not reason with a "Junkie"...

    Shopaholic or spendaholic what it should be is a recognized phycological problem.

    5 Ways to Control Emotional Spending (investopedia.com)

  20. #20
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2019
    Location
    Wherever you go, there you are.
    Posts
    1,992
    Reputation
    3387
    Type
    Just Me.

    Re: My wife and I missed mortgage payments because of unpaid debts, yet she shops and hides her finances. What do I do?

    Quote Originally Posted by josh32 View Post
    You should try to convince her that her spendings are bringing financial problems to you
    Good solid reasoning.

    How many times has this worked for you?


Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 23
    Last Post: January 29, 2021, 11:12 AM
  2. Finances - paying off home or other investments
    By happybachelor in forum For Bachelors
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: January 10, 2021, 2:39 PM
  3. Man hides wealth, wife leaves him.
    By mgtower in forum Lounge
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: July 12, 2020, 12:23 PM
  4. Tax change screws men in alimony payments?
    By Victor in forum Lounge
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: December 24, 2017, 8:08 AM
  5. Are your finances in order?
    By wayn in forum Lounge
    Replies: 31
    Last Post: July 12, 2014, 4:50 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •