Thread: My friend let me know he got engaged

I faked a congratulations for him guys. This shit really sucks for him, I'm worried for him, as his girlfriend has cheated on him before, over a year ago, not actually too long ago, when you think about it. I told him then, to leave her, he didn't want to do it, because he is too emotionally invested in her, they live together. Just more weight on top of him you know. He's one of my best friends in my life, known him all my life.

He wants to have a wedding in two years, because it is so expensive. Yeah, go figure right guys, I dropped him a red pill and said yeah remember, it's a day all about her. He says yeah he knows it will be. He wants me to attend this. I'm really torn, as I want to support my friend, but I know he's gotten himself into some shit.

Look at the bright side: two years is a long time—time enough to open his eyes and change his mind. Just maybe.

Originally Posted by K-Dog

Look at the bright side: two years is a long time—time enough to open his eyes and change his mind. Just maybe.

I agree, two years is way better than a few months. It's a lot more time, and maybe she'll do something stupid. But there's not much hope, at this point they never listen. Tell him he's screwing up and that you'll be there for him after she grinds him into burger. But don't go on and on about it, that will only make things worse.

I am certainly no authority, but from what I've seen, the bigger and fancier the wedding, the less time the union lasts. It's obscene what guys spend on a marriage that probably won't last a year.

Originally Posted by Tomatoshadow2

I faked a congratulations for him guys. This shit really sucks for him, I'm worried for him, as his girlfriend has cheated on him before, over a year ago, not actually too long ago, when you think about it. I told him then, to leave her, he didn't want to do it, because he is too emotionally invested in her, they live together. Just more weight on top of him you know. He's one of my best friends in my life, known him all my life.

He wants to have a wedding in two years, because it is so expensive. Yeah, go figure right guys, I dropped him a red pill and said yeah remember, it's a day all about her. He says yeah he knows it will be. He wants me to attend this. I'm really torn, as I want to support my friend, but I know he's gotten himself into some shit.

Just let it keep going like a water. Any fool can figure out in two years. And if he doesn't, then that's probably his own fault. You're in the safe spot

It’s sucks to say this, but it sounds like the only way he will truly learn is by his own experience. He may have to learn the hard way, which is unfortunate. Based on guys I’ve known, there comes a point in the relationshit where a guy gets caught up in tunnel vision. He’s created this fantasy for himself about this woman he is so invested in. No amount of talking or convincing will hammer the truth into his head. He so desperately wants to believe that he’s made the right choice and that he has the “perfect” woman in his life.

It’s amazing what guys will overlook or forgive just to have a steady piece of twat at their side at night. I can’t comprehend how any man could stay with a woman after she’s cheated on him. That betrayal of trust would set me in a rage.

Dudes can get in their mind that letting this girl go means being alone forever…but perhaps being alone is better than swallowing your dignity for a whore that always leaves you wondering. Like people have said, marriage is a business deal at the end of the day…who would willingly enter a lifetime deal with someone who isn’t honest with the most sacred things of life.

Damn man I'm sorry for your lost.

It a rough thing seeing your friend make such a fatal mistake but "love" blinds a man the obvious fact that committing to/marrying a women is a raw for a man.

Hopefully he wakes up before it's too late but sadly few ever do before all hell break lose

<plays taps>

F

Women are the best at Red Pilling men, he didn't swallow when she cheated on him, you don't have a hope in hell....

The best you can do is shut up and let her do her job, be there for when he does swallow.... Some men have a hard time dealing with the emotions of being deceived.

If her cheating didn't make a difference, nothing ever will. He will stay with her, all the way to his mental, moral and financial ruin.

But you are not responsible for his mistakes; and in my humble opinion, you shouldn't have to tag along and suffer.

And suffer you will, if you stick around. You will inevitably feel him slip away.... because she will poison his mind against you.
As a single man, you are an enemy - and little by little, one tiny phrase from her at a time, his subconscious will be filled with her hatred for you.

Each one of us makes his choices, and faces the consequences.

Painful as it may be, I suggest you speak your mind, and state loud and clear what you expect to happen. Then, start getting some distance.

He may yet wake up and remember your parting words - whenever (inevitably!) the shit hits the fan - but to be honest, I doubt it.
Women evolved to know how to please a man - and during the two years she will do everything she can to keep him happy and compliant.
"Happy puppy on a leash".

I am sorry for your loss.

Two years is good. He's doing the right thing by waiting at least that long. Step in the right direction.

One good thing you can do is drop a reference to Kevin Samuels and his SIGNs. Or about Strong Successful Male. Tell him next time you're out you'll pay for drinks/food if he watches SSM with you, preferably a good one about the successful marriage that ends in cheating.

Hopefully, he will live with her before he ties the knot (and isn't in a community property state).

A friend got married to a woman who cheated on him, they are still together a decade later...........but they did move house to a relatively isolated one street town, I guarantee that was his idea.

Originally Posted by Tomatoshadow2

I faked a congratulations for him guys. This shit really sucks for him, I'm worried for him, as his girlfriend has cheated on him before, over a year ago, not actually too long ago, when you think about it. I told him then, to leave her, he didn't want to do it, because he is too emotionally invested in her, they live together. Just more weight on top of him you know. He's one of my best friends in my life, known him all my life.

He wants to have a wedding in two years, because it is so expensive. Yeah, go figure right guys, I dropped him a red pill and said yeah remember, it's a day all about her. He says yeah he knows it will be. He wants me to attend this. I'm really torn, as I want to support my friend, but I know he's gotten himself into some shit.

Not attending "her" wedding will firmly place you on a shit-list, until the divorce, then your friend will know who his true friends are.

I see two paths, 1. make a stand. 2. go to the wedding and forever remain silent otherwise anything you say is pure hypocrisy.

Some people just need to piss on the electric fence for themselves. I wouldn't make a stand about it, it would blow up the friendship and ultimately it's his free will. Just try to stay close and let him see what kind of life you're living, the contrast may wake him up one day.

Originally Posted by Tomatoshadow2

I faked a congratulations for him guys. This shit really sucks for him, I'm worried for him, as his girlfriend has cheated on him before, over a year ago, not actually too long ago, when you think about it. I told him then, to leave her, he didn't want to do it, because he is too emotionally invested in her, they live together. Just more weight on top of him you know. He's one of my best friends in my life, known him all my life.

He wants to have a wedding in two years, because it is so expensive. Yeah, go figure right guys, I dropped him a red pill and said yeah remember, it's a day all about her. He says yeah he knows it will be. He wants me to attend this. I'm really torn, as I want to support my friend, but I know he's gotten himself into some shit.

You know that he's making a terrible mistake, but you can't live another person's life for him. When I get invited to some dumb wedding, I usually fake congratulations, then I find some excuse not to go to it.

Weddings are fun to attend. Good food and good drinks. Dress up fancy and meet some people. To me, it's part of playing in this world and taking and participating in the good things without being a part of the bad. Take what is useful and give thanks.

I was a groomsman for a good friend. He was so happy, you can't talk sense to them. You will be talking gibberish and they will think you are jealous of them and they will just turn around and attack you.

The night before we were chilling and the best man wanted all of us (about 10 of us friends) to give some parting advice and "man talk" to the groom.

Everyone gave the standard blue pill advice and I was one of the last ones so I had some time to think about what I was going to say.

We're all christian brothers, but I didn't go the full red pill route. I said something along the lines of "in your marriage, you will have fights and disagreements and the easy thing will be to go along with her just to keep the peace. but if I were to be married, I would want to be strong and make sure the truth comes out and my leadership stays intact.

Originally Posted by Tomatoshadow2

I faked a congratulations for him guys. This shit really sucks for him, I'm worried for him, as his girlfriend has cheated on him before, over a year ago, not actually too long ago, when you think about it. I told him then, to leave her, he didn't want to do it, because he is too emotionally invested in her, they live together. Just more weight on top of him you know. He's one of my best friends in my life, known him all my life.

He wants to have a wedding in two years, because it is so expensive. Yeah, go figure right guys, I dropped him a red pill and said yeah remember, it's a day all about her. He says yeah he knows it will be. He wants me to attend this. I'm really torn, as I want to support my friend, but I know he's gotten himself into some shit.

Your first paragraph says it all. For those who understand, no explanation is needed. For those who do not understand, no explanation is possible is all I can say.

Originally Posted by K-Dog

Look at the bright side: two years is a long time—time enough to open his eyes and change his mind. Just maybe.

I'm definitely hoping this is the case, where he'll gain some smarts and break it off.

Originally Posted by Societysucksmyass

It’s sucks to say this, but it sounds like the only way he will truly learn is by his own experience. He may have to learn the hard way, which is unfortunate. Based on guys I’ve known, there comes a point in the relationshit where a guy gets caught up in tunnel vision. He’s created this fantasy for himself about this woman he is so invested in. No amount of talking or convincing will hammer the truth into his head. He so desperately wants to believe that he’s made the right choice and that he has the “perfect” woman in his life.

Yeah this really reminds me that what I tell him, doesn't seem to matter when it comes to his girl. His brother has also caught the tunnel vision, doing anything his girlfriend wants.

It’s amazing what guys will overlook or forgive just to have a steady piece of twat at their side at night. I can’t comprehend how any man could stay with a woman after she’s cheated on him. That betrayal of trust would set me in a rage.

So true, I think it really is that, is he wants to follow the way you know, wife, family. You're born alone, you die alone, still is a strong reminder for me, when my grandpa passed away.

Originally Posted by Edwardhaskell

Dudes can get in their mind that letting this girl go means being alone forever…but perhaps being alone is better than swallowing your dignity for a whore that always leaves you wondering. Like people have said, marriage is a business deal at the end of the day…who would willingly enter a lifetime deal with someone who isn’t honest with the most sacred things of life.

Yeah, I thought he would've learned from his last girlfriend, guess not haha.

Originally Posted by Harish yadav

Just let it keep going like a water. Any fool can figure out in two years. And if he doesn't, then that's probably his own fault. You're in the safe spot

Yeah, when you tell someone, the stove is hot, be careful and they still touch it, well shit they were told.

Originally Posted by FangBlade

Damn man I'm sorry for your lost.

Just waiting for him to call if off.

It a rough thing seeing your friend make such a fatal mistake but "love" blinds a man the obvious fact that committing to/marrying a women is a raw for a man.

Yeah it is rough, not much I can do, I'm more annoyed to be part of the wedding, if there is one.

Hopefully he wakes up before it's too late but sadly few ever do before all hell break lose

Originally Posted by RustyNuts

Women are the best at Red Pilling men, he didn't swallow when she cheated on him, you don't have a hope in hell....

Right, yeah even that didn't wake him up. she was suppose to tell her parents that she cheated on him, never did.

The best you can do is shut up and let her do her job, be there for when he does swallow.... Some men have a hard time dealing with the emotions of being deceived.

Yeah, right I'll have to let her sour his mind on the idea.

Originally Posted by end_of_days

If her cheating didn't make a difference, nothing ever will. He will stay with her, all the way to his mental, moral and financial ruin.

So true, he's setting himself up for failure.

But you are not responsible for his mistakes; and in my humble opinion, you shouldn't have to tag along and suffer.

And suffer you will, if you stick around. You will inevitably feel him slip away.... because she will poison his mind against you.
As a single man, you are an enemy - and little by little, one tiny phrase from her at a time, his subconscious will be filled with her hatred for you.

Each one of us makes his choices, and faces the consequences.

Painful as it may be, I suggest you speak your mind, and state loud and clear what you expect to happen. Then, start getting some distance.

He may yet wake up and remember your parting words - whenever (inevitably!) the shit hits the fan - but to be honest, I doubt it.
Women evolved to know how to please a man - and during the two years she will do everything she can to keep him happy and compliant.
"Happy puppy on a leash".

I am sorry for your loss.

Yeah absolutely true, he deserves to be happy, but marriage, that won't bring any dam happiness, just pain and sadness.

Originally Posted by Montauk

Two years is good. He's doing the right thing by waiting at least that long. Step in the right direction.

One good thing you can do is drop a reference to Kevin Samuels and his SIGNs. Or about Strong Successful Male. Tell him next time you're out you'll pay for drinks/food if he watches SSM with you, preferably a good one about the successful marriage that ends in cheating.

Hopefully, he will live with her before he ties the knot (and isn't in a community property state).

So he has lived with his girlfriend for a few years, stuck in a fancy 1 bed apartment with her, thankfully the state doesn't have common law marriage and also, doesn't even recognize them.

Originally Posted by stanmsl

A friend got married to a woman who cheated on him, they are still together a decade later...........but they did move house to a relatively isolated one street town, I guarantee that was his idea.

Yeah, he still calls me and talks, he wants me to me her, but as you know her cheating on him, really has soured her to me as a person, I don't even know her.

Originally Posted by mgtower

Not attending "her" wedding will firmly place you on a shit-list, until the divorce, then your friend will know who his true friends are.

I see two paths, 1. make a stand. 2. go to the wedding and forever remain silent otherwise anything you say is pure hypocrisy.

Yeah, damned if I do and damned if I don't right?

Originally Posted by I'm Gone

Some people just need to piss on the electric fence for themselves. I wouldn't make a stand about it, it would blow up the friendship and ultimately it's his free will. Just try to stay close and let him see what kind of life you're living, the contrast may wake him up one day.

Right, yeah he always says I live a really good life, hopefully he'll want peace in his life, instead of chaos.

Originally Posted by TigPlaze

You know that he's making a terrible mistake, but you can't live another person's life for him. When I get invited to some dumb wedding, I usually fake congratulations, then I find some excuse not to go to it.

Yeah, well I know he definitely wants me there, telling me that right away haha.

Originally Posted by opensource

Weddings are fun to attend. Good food and good drinks. Dress up fancy and meet some people. To me, it's part of playing in this world and taking and participating in the good things without being a part of the bad. Take what is useful and give thanks.

I was a groomsman for a good friend. He was so happy, you can't talk sense to them. You will be talking gibberish and they will think you are jealous of them and they will just turn around and attack you.

The night before we were chilling and the best man wanted all of us (about 10 of us friends) to give some parting advice and "man talk" to the groom.

Everyone gave the standard blue pill advice and I was one of the last ones so I had some time to think about what I was going to say.

We're all christian brothers, but I didn't go the full red pill route. I said something along the lines of "in your marriage, you will have fights and disagreements and the easy thing will be to go along with her just to keep the peace. but if I were to be married, I would want to be strong and make sure the truth comes out and my leadership stays intact.

Damn, you should've dropped a bigger redpill haha, just be like, why are you getting married again?

Originally Posted by MGTOWFOREVER

Your first paragraph says it all. For those who understand, no explanation is needed. For those who do not understand, no explanation is possible is all I can say.

Yeah, we'll see where he is in five years.

Man, I was at the exact place of your friend, apart I didn't knew the witch cheated on me before the marriage.

When everything collapsed and I've seen the truth about that witch by myself, I had so much cognitive dissonance that it took me one complete year to believe the reality and to operate a 180° u-turn with my life.

So the best you can do, is to be happy for him (because he is surely happy at that moment), share the party with him, and choose a particular moment to say that you will be here for him, whenever he needs you.

He will remember this. I had not the chance to have a solid friend to help me, but at the realization moment my instinct searched for a real friend to reach.

You must let him the right to choose.

If he asks for your opinion, then you can give him clearly, but only in that case. Because he can even hate you after the realization because you knew better than himself and it will add another blow to his ego, unless you're really close friends.

In the other case, he will respect you even more for allowing him to be free to choose, while assuring your friendship with him and support.

It's hard to do, I concur. Good luck