Thread: Mother on /r/AskMen asked "How can we be better Mothers to boys?" This is what I said...

Me: I would tell you but the thought police in here will ban me. You aren't allowed to know.
Her: But now I want to know even more! Lol
Me: I'll DM you
Me (DMing): There is so much I would say... Teach them to love truth and reality. Help them know that most of society, as well as their biology, is at odds with their happiness. It's a long topic describing how each of these is true, but in a nutshell, the elites of society want men to continue to be the underpaid/exploited workhorses that funds their elitist ambitions and men's biology wants men to reproduce at all costs, no matter what harm comes to them. You've probably heard of the The Red Pill (TRP)... It gets a lot of hate, some deservedly. But if I put it into a nutshell, TRP is what happened when men were able to start honestly talking with each other online (2005 onward, till it's been suppressed) and comparing notes about their lot in life, finding happiness, and what the meaning in it all is for them. We men were able to start talking with each other, without others intervening, what generally came from it is TRP. I have found that a lot of what they discovered is true, but how different men try to deal with it depends on the man. I would never say all Red Pilled men are good, they definitely all aren't, but what we've discovered together is very very valuable for men to know, so that they can make the best educated decisions for themselves and their lives, and not let others exploit them. Women have been liberated from their prior social contract (women's lib, feminism), and that's mostly/probably a good thing, but men have still been stuck in (for the most part) and forced to stay in their original social contract (chivalry, responsibility, provide and protect, however all authority has been taken away: responsibility without authority is slavery). TRP has been largely about helping men understand how the world has changed and help them to liberate themselves from the prior social contract which pretty much only exploits them now. Those in power, and most women, are very much against men leaving their end of the social contract deal, since men staying put benefits everyone else, but not men. If men follow the narrative that's indoctrinated into them over the last few decades, they will find themselves in a situation they not only hate, but will likely push them to crime, ill health, homelessness, suicide, or violence. We see it all of the time now with men, the stats prove it. It happened to me as well. I've barely survived. I won't even tell you the hell I've been put through because I believed what was indoctrinated into me by my society, family, church, mom, media, etc. It turned me into a 'lamb for the slaughter'. I somehow survived though, largely thanks to what I learned through TRP. I have now made MAJOR changes to my life and it has resulting in me, for the first time in my 40+ years, being happy enough in this life. I've decided with how broken the current social contract is between men and women, it's best for me to stay single and focus on my own health and success (MGTOW). I always wanted the wonderful wife, kids, picket fence lifestyle, but TRP helped me wake up and see that this was an illusory bait on a hook being dangled in front of me to get me to bite and end up becoming a literal (wage) slave to our currently gynocentric society. They want to take from me and exploit men like me, but they aren't really offering anything in return, other than fantasy. I wish it wasn't this way, and it took be a long time to come to terms with the fact that things really are this way, but for modern men in the west, 'the juice isn't worth the squeeze' when it comes to modern relationships and family. pursuing those things will get them enslaved at best, and dead at worst. I'm not exaggerating. You may not understand or agree with what I am saying, but you've got to listen to me... Men don't/can't talk freely these days, we can't share... you don't want to find out one day that your son(s) suddenly killed themselves, you need to help open their eyes to TRP and the true state of modern men, society and relationships. This may all sound like a bunch of craziness, but there really is so much truth to what I am telling you here, and many powerful people want perspectives like mine suppressed. Nearly all of the online communities that discussed these things have been banned. They don't want men to know what's really going on, what really awaits men if they follow the beliefs they're indoctrinated with.

That's a Berlin Wall of text, brother!
Can you break it up into paragraphs, please?

That's a lot of text to explain to a woman when it can be summed up in very simple terms:

1. "He's not your husband, he's your son"
2. "Don't try to turn him into the man you want him to be" -See point 1
3. "Stop trying to compete with him." -See point 1
4. "Don't use your ego to teach him anything" -See point 1
5. "Trust his decisions; don't undermine them" -See point 1
6. "Teach him the concept of possession and ownership"

He'll figure the rest out on his own.

Edit: Not gonna lie, after I read your wall, your MGTOW lens is really thick and blocks out everything. You can't dive straight into TRP/MGTOW and deeper level conversation topics to people who haven't even started to wake up and realize that something isn't right. They're just not ready for it yet. To them, this would read like a conspiracy novel.

Originally Posted by Eddie Willers

That's a Berlin Wall of text, brother!
Can you break it up into paragraphs, please?

You still breathing? Where the hell have you been?
Cheers!

her: you do NOT sound crazy at all. I 100% see and believe what you are saying. That’s why I’m here. I want better for my son and I want to be a better wife to my husband.

her: Thank you for taking the time to explain that to me. You made so many good points it’s hard to say anything other than thank you. I tend to be idealistic so please understand I’m not telling you that you’re wrong. The one point I want to make is that I think it’s still possible to have that dream. I don’t think it will ever happen though if women don’t start waking up to what’s been happening. I know TRP and it’s changed my views on many things.

me: thank you, and you're right, the dream still is possible, but your sons would need to approach it in a very careful way. If (somehow) I ever decided to get married or have kids again, I'd do these things to protect myself and my kids: * Own my own business * have that business owned through a trust * live my life and spend through that trust, but only "pay myself" a very modest salary (this protects my assets from divorce rape) * agree and sign, together, a family contract that outlines our beliefs before a relationship commitement (protects you in family court when she claims your beliefs are toxic and she was 'controlled' and 'abused') * have 24/7 recordings around your home via security cameras, men are guilty until proven innocent * have her sign a confidentiality agreement which penalizes her if she airs dirty laundry to try to destroy you * ensure the marriage is between one community and another, not just one man and one women. the community makes the marriage stronger * teach your sons how to be the kind of man their wives won't want to divorce (TRP) * teach them to always have an amazing and expensive attorney ready, consult with them regularly * have them investigate/use pre-nuptual agreements or roommate agreements for protection * document everything, have it be stored in the cloud, and encrypted so only they can get to it. * document consent for everything, marital rape has been made a thing now, she can have willing sex with you one night, and then the next morning walk into a police station and say you raped her, and your sons will have no recourse. Many attorney's advise this as an instant win in divorce/separation.

I've always loved women, and seeing what I've seen has broken my heart. I'm mostly a shell of a man now. But what good women are left are WONDERFUL and are soooo needed to help get things working right again. You seem like a good woman, and I want to say thank you for what you're doing to try to help others. And please do all you can to help other women see what's going on. It's best for all of us if we don't let these forces divide us.

her: Very well said. That’s a lot for you to carry around and it sucks you even have too. Thank you again for your words. It’s given me a lot to think about.

me: Yeah, if I can help other men avoid the pain I've been through, then that makes me happier!

her: That’s important work. I know you’ve made a difference.

"How can we be better Mothers to boys?"

Sigh. Because 1) all mothers are the same and all boys are the same, so everyone needs the same canned advice; and 2) A boy doesn't really need a dad, his mother ought to be able to do the job and all she needs is a little of that canned advice.

Real answer: "love and support his father". A child needs a same-sex parent to model themselves on, and a healthy relationship between their parents to give the something to hope for and aspire to.

The RP is basically about men losing hope. What critics of the RP miss is that men are entirely right about this, that the sane and sensible thing to do in Current Year is to lower one's expectations. Hope is something that a child desperately needs: call it ambition, call it the child's "Dream", whatever. A child needs a realistic expectation that they can have a happy future, and they need to be shown how they can secure it. For most people, their most important source of happiness is loving family relationships.

For in regards to advice for your average single mother with a troubled, directionless, and alienated son: sorry, babe - I got nothing. Either your oughtn't to have dumped his father, or your oughtn't to have fucked him in the first place.

Her: I'd like a sip of water.
You: Okay, just let me aim this fire hose at you and open the valve...

Good God, man. Do you seriously think you accomplished anything with that wall of text? Yes, everything you wrote is true, but she wasn't asking for a doctoral dissertation. It's as if she wanted help balancing her checkbook and you dropped a graduate level tensor calculus textbook in her lap.

You know why she wrote you back? For the same reason you slowly disengage from a crazy person who accosts you in the street. While they rant about Saturn's hexagon and the Reptilians, you smile, make comforting statements, and back away while watching their eyes and hands. That's all she was doing; feigning interest and politeness while disengaging in a manner that won't give you the idea of following her. She's probably still nervous about checking her private messages hoping there isn't another "sermon" from you that she needs to fret over responding to or not.

Start applying the concept of proportionality in your responses. Juggernaut's list would have been a far better answer than the text bludgeon you employed. Keep things simple when dealing with blue pill people. Feeding them too many red pills too quickly is counterproductive. Remember, screeds aren't answers.

Yea if a guy can look at that wall of text and hesitate whether they want to read it...

Well you can guess the reaction from a lady. Gotta narrow down and spoon-feed these things.

Her actions will be driven by her emotions... She reads your advice and patronizes you saying thanks, turns around and teaches her sons to be men the way she wants men to be... Or feminize them.

Women love "Bad Boys", women naturally gravitate toward danger (Is this whey they look for protection from the man?). So, you would think with all the single mothers raising boys there should be heaps of up and coming "Bad Boys", sons of single mothers... No.... The boys are mostly feminized, the opposite of what the single mother would find attractive.

Same old saying: Don't listen what she says, look at what she does. Talk is cheap, actions add value.

Originally Posted by WanderLuster

You still breathing? Where the hell have you been?
Cheers!

Had to step away for a while and take a break - got laid off back in July 2022 and can't get back on the corporate treadmill to pay the mortgage and keep a roof over my head. Fortunately, $$ is OK for now.

Originally Posted by Eddie Willers

Had to step away for a while and take a break - got laid off back in July 2022 and can't get back on the corporate treadmill to pay the mortgage and keep a roof over my head. Fortunately, $$ is OK for now.

Welcome back! Is the pistol still loaded?

Originally Posted by WanderLuster

Welcome back! Is the pistol still loaded?

LOL - the efforts of our milquetoast, pantywaist PM Justine Truedope seem to have slackened off on the handgun issue of late; either that or bans on the DL are incoming.