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  1. #1

    Is sex all that great??

    27M here, will attempt to make a long story short.

    Based on my personal choices and my religious beliefs of sex outside of marriage I am still a virgin at 27.

    I've met my fair share of women, dated some, and have turned down sex on multiple occasions.

    I'm not here to bash women or speak negatively of them. At the end of the day MGTOW for me boils down to this. I really value the freedom and lack of stress that comes with being single and childless.

    I try to keep myself busy, but in my downtime I sometimes wonder if sex is worth missing out on? Perhaps this would fall under the common phrase, "The grass is greener on the other side of the fence."

  2. #2
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    Re: Is sex all that great??

    Lost.my virginity to an escort when I was 17, she was an 8/10 looks wise. I was completely inexperienced never even masturbated before. I didn't climax and didn't even know I was supposed to! I bruised her ego a bit.

    Anyway my main thought afterwards was that sex was nothing amazing. You aren't missing much KatPaw.

  3. #3

    Re: Is sex all that great??

    There was a time in my life I would answer yes with an exclamation mark but not anymore, not in a long time. I see it for what it is. The cheap thrill wears off fast and you're left to weigh the benefit against the cost (at least I do) which immediately puts things in perspective. It's why I think it is criminal, downright abhorrent, that prostitution is illegal anywhere. There's only a fixed financial cost and the thing is done (it's degrading to seduce a whore). In a sexual relationship the cost is astronomically high because it goes WAY beyond just money.

    I don't know if it's age or my general lack of interest in sex these days, I find myself thinking a lot during sex which is a poor practice during such animalistic acts. With the help of liquor I'm able to slow the stream of thoughts but I stopped drinking four months ago and no way I would risk picking up the bottle again just for the cheap thrill of sex. Fuck it.

    When it comes to sex and your fear of missing out (FOMO), it's beneficial to keep in mind what the late great Paul Proteus said, "IT'S JUST ASS!"

  4. #4

    Re: Is sex all that great??

    I think the most annoying thing about sex is the men in long term relationships that go around groveling at the feet of their female doing whatever she says with a giddy smile and basically proclaiming they might get lucky tonight. I be damned if a woman is going to lord over me like that as if she has some magical vagina. After the first 5 or 10 or 15 times with the same woman the novelty wears off but some men act like they are uncontrollably horny morons that need their woman to pat them on the head.

  5. #5
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    Re: Is sex all that great??

    Quote Originally Posted by Edwardhaskell View Post
    groveling at the feet of their female doing whatever she says with a giddy smile and basically proclaiming they might get lucky tonight.
    When I first got my dog, he got a whiff of a neighbor dog in heat and spent several nights whining and howling at the door wanting me to let him out.

    I've never known what it was like to have such compulsion. My intellect has always ruled the roost. This meant I did not chase pussy. Pussy came to me, when it did. If it did.

    So, in my younger days, I never understood guys who, as we say, let their little head do the thinking. I had always assumed everybody's brain thought the same way as mine in matters of self-control, therefore I figured these guys made a deliberate (and reckless) conscious choice to sacrifice their personal dignity, something I can look back and say I never did. And my intellect would never allow me to do.

    But it did make me suffer at times wondering if something was wrong with me because these type of guys were all around me and, yeah, societal pressure advertised everywhere you looked that coupling up was the goal in life. So why was I running on a parallel railroad track with fewer stops to make?

    Were these guys really in control of themselves as much as I assumed for them? If there actually is a chemical situation occurring inside the brains of most (young) men to make them act like my dog acted, to compel them to override their personal dignity and all other self-respect considerations, a chemical action that submerges conscious deliberation to just below the waterline, into the subconscious goo, allowing a male hamster to reveal itself and prevail, to prevail in an anticipation of delight, why I may never actually know what that's like. Just as none of those men might not have understood, had they been asked, what it could be like to ignore the whiffs. Their railroad train stopped at every station.

    But now that I am older, it seems I can find plenty of other men who today think like I did and do, with their intact dignity and all. From their stories, I can see how they became this way from how they were before, in our youth. It feels nicer to me that I finally walk among them, or should I say they finally walk among me, ha. But why did any of this have to happen this way? Why did I have to suffer the isolation and self-doubt of a road less traveled? Why did they have to suffer the women they chased? None of this makes sense to me except that BS happened to all of us in one way or another. I have transcended the separation of self that my choices provided me and these other guys have transcended the unity with women that their choices provided them.


    Those were the days my friend
    We thought they'd never end
    We'd sing and dance forever and a day
    We'd live the life we choose
    We'd fight and never lose
    For we were young and sure to have our way.
    The two most important days in your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why. - Mark Twain

    The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.
    - Henry David Thoreau

    There are 10 types of people in the world - those who understand binary, and those who don't.

    Suitable for bookmarking: www.fakehatecrimes.org and www.breitbart.com/tag/hate-crime-hoax

  6. #6

    Re: Is sex all that great??

    I lost my virginity at 18.

    Wish I hadn't. Sex is pointless. It's masturbating, except it costs time and money with another person.

    So now I just stick to masturbating.

  7. #7

    Re: Is sex all that great??

    Quote Originally Posted by DangZagnut View Post
    I lost my virginity at 18.

    Wish I hadn't. Sex is pointless. It's masturbating, except it costs time and money with another person.

    So now I just stick to masturbating.
    Most married men do the same. My exís sister has been married for about 15 yearsÖapparently her and her husband didnít have sex for over 6 months (canít blame him sheís 200+ lbs) and she found porn on his computer. They are the gossipy type so the sisters and their mother would chat about it.

  8. #8
    Senior Member mgtower's Avatar
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    Re: Is sex all that great??

    Quote Originally Posted by DangZagnut View Post
    I lost my virginity at 18.

    Wish I hadn't. Sex is pointless. It's masturbating, except it costs time and money with another person.

    So now I just stick to masturbating.
    Pursuing women (in the mind's eye) is seen as pursuing the checker flag at Daytona, Lemans, or any top venue raceway, when in reality you've entered a demolition derby with an old car that's nothing more than rust holding hands! The illusion is THAT REAL!
    Tower's Book of Survival:

    Rule #401. First you eat the dogs, then you eat the dogfood.

  9. #9

    Re: Is sex all that great??

    The hype surrounding sex becomes a complex social control system set up to keep people in line. First it's kept constantly in attention with reminders everywhere. But then there are only a few channels where it's acceptable for people to actually achieve this reward. In spite of changes in society, monogamous marriage is still the most commonly accepted sexual arrangement. I come from a Catholic background, and sex is perfectly acceptable, but only after marriage and with the spouse. No masturbation or other forms of sexual satisfaction allowed.

    Once this overhyped system is running, then the cattle can be kept in line with the promise of the great reward they will receive if they keep pulling the plow. Before marriage there's the fantasy of a reliable and safe supply of sex once they achieve exalted state of a monogamous married relationship. After marriage, the woman can restrict supply to keep the husband in line. It seems near universal for sex to fall by the wayside starting very soon after marriage. Then the frustrated male is back to looking at porn.

    If one were to back up to the bigger picture of what religions teach, sex is going to be one of the "earthly rewards" which always fail to be ultimately satisfying. I don't know if there's any condemnation of sex in the new testament, but Jesus said "put the kingdom of heaven first". Sex is one of the secondary pleasures of life, which the more enlightened may or may not indulge in, after they have priorities straight. Take it in that light, and the pressure is off marriage. Maybe you get married and have kids, but you don't get stuck doing it just as a relief valve for sexual pressure.

  10. #10

    Re: Is sex all that great??

    Sex is very alluring, exciting, and rewarding, when you're in your teens, 20s, and 30s. By the time you hit your 40s, and especially after 50, the appeal really falls off a cliff. That's because of a few factors:

    1. As you get older, your genes, neurochemistry, and hormones aren't screaming at you to get laid. After all, sex drive is mostly a biologically driven thing. As you get older, your biology changes -- thank God! You aren't swimming around in that hormonal cocktail all the time. The importance and value of sex recedes. Some men think this is a loss, but to me, it's a relief. My mind is free to think about other things.

    2. With age comes experience. I will just speak for myself, but I've had hundreds of sexual encounters (not with hundreds of different women; many with the same women), and most of them were pretty ordinary. They were more exciting when I was young and the experience was new. As I gained experience, they became more gratifying in some ways, mainly because I got better at it, but it also became less enjoyable. It became rather predictable. Maybe I didn't study the Kama Sutra enough, try enough positions, hang from enough chandeliers, or use enough mechanical devices to spice things up -- not really my style -- but the experience itself was rather "meh" after a while. I mean, it was enjoyable on a purely physical, dopamine level, but mentally/emotionally, it wasn't very satisfying. Most often, I'd feel afterwards like, "Ok, time to clean up and get on with life." Not a big deal.

    3. With experience, your level of anticipation for sex drops. Notice that a huge part of what makes sex enjoyable is not the sex itself, but the excitement and pleasure of the anticipation -- the build up, the wait, the thinking about it in advance, the fantasy. The actual act is over in like 10 minutes, but the anticipation can last for hours, for days or even months. But once you've gone through that cycle a hundred times or so, you don't anticipate and fantasize as much. You know how it goes, so you can't really work yourself up into a lather anymore. When the anticipation goes, so does a big part of the enjoyment.

    4. Men have to do most of the work, as usual. Men are the performers, even in the bedroom, while the women lie back like Carl's Junior stars (thanks, Coach). After a while, it just started to seem like more work than pleasure.


    Quote Originally Posted by Edwardhaskell View Post
    ....
    What the heck, another Eddie Haskell. Impersonator! lol

  11. #11
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    Re: Is sex all that great??

    Here's your answer. I mostly have a better time with my left hand than I ever have with a partner.

  12. #12
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    Re: Is sex all that great??

    No matter how horny you are you will lose all interest once you climax. When alone that is simple but when youíre with someone (unless itís a prostitute) that can create a getaway problem!

    Also, Iíve found that a womanís looks arenít enough. They need to be attractive personality wise, be engaging etc and once the rose coloured glasses come off it is hard to see women in that way.

    Most of my sexual experiences have been paid for because I wanted to avoid their drama. And that was well before try he term MGTOW even existed.

    That said prostitution is legal down here. I donít think I would want to pick up street walkers.

  13. #13
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    Re: Is sex all that great??

    From reading the replies, I get the impression that a lot of guys never had any really good sex.

    Before I went monk I was a “chad” and I had a lot of sex. 80% of it was mediocre to boring, but some of it was fantastic. Much, much better than masturbating. No comparison.

    But to answer your question, there are a lot of things in life that feel fantastic. Heroin feels fantastic too. Doesn’t mean you should start shooting up heroin. The fact that despite having great sex, I went monk mode should speak for itself.

    There are a lot of downsides to dealing with women. When you have really, really good sex with them, they will become attached to you and can cause life-changing problems for you. I had one bitch stalk me for over 10 years.

    It’s also a matter of delayed gratification. If you focus on other things in life, the payoff will be much greater and sustainable.

  14. #14
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    Re: Is sex all that great??

    I think it depends on the person. I think sex IS important, but its not everything. Jerking off is great too, but its not quite as fun having a big set of slammers bouncing around in your face while a wet pussy is riding ya. Granted, in the West getting laid (w/o commitment) is time-consuming and costs money yet w/o any guarantee of receiving results, but getting laid in the developing/3rd world is EASY.....whether thats p4p or meeting women on tinder.

    The world is a HUGE place and worth seeing, once international travel opens back up I'd seriously take a look into visiting a p4p friendly country like Thailand or Mexico (even) and see how fun being a man truly is before I'd completely write off sex.

  15. #15
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    Re: Is sex all that great??

    Quote Originally Posted by brockstar View Post
    … is time-consuming and costs money yet w/o any guarantee of receiving results,
    If you are paying for sex, it is going to be bad. The whole point is that you are both enjoying it.
    I’ve never paid for sex in my entire life. In fact, when I was a teenager, somebody offered to pay for a hooker and I declined. It defeats the whole purpose of the activity.

    And why is it not guaranteed if you are already paying for it? What the hell are you doing?

  16. #16
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    Re: Is sex all that great??

    Im a boomer, and sex was neccessary part of life. I think the reason hookers can now charge so much, is us boomers got addicted to sex

    Girls then had the pill but not social media, they got very bored and needed validation. Sex is how they got validation. Further, they knew that having sex was how they would survive and get the best possible long term mate. In return men received benefits like a wife that cooked, cleaned and raised children

    So to answer the question, sex is great when the girl WANTS to please you. It was in her nature. Now, things have changed. She now wants validation from social media at the expense of whoever her mate is at the time

  17. #17

    Re: Is sex all that great??

    Another reason I avoid sex now (in addition to what I mentioned above) is the risk of contracting the type of herpes associated with cancer by going down on a woman, and then getting throat cancer later because of it. Apparently men are vulnerable to contracting the disease this way, and there is a link to throat cancer. I used to enjoy cunnilingus, but learning about that ruined it for me (so did hearing about women's body count). I wouldn't do it now, unless I knew the woman was pristine -- which of course disqualifies 95% of women.

    There is also just the general risk of STDs, which are rampant in today's single women. Can you protect yourself somewhat by wearing rubbers? Sure, although they aren't foolproof, and they won't protect you from some STDs. And I have never liked the feeling of having intercourse with a rubber, so that has reduced the appeal as well.

  18. #18

    Re: Is sex all that great??

    Quote Originally Posted by FrankS View Post
    They knew that having sex was how they would survive and get the best possible long term mate. In return men received benefits like a wife that cooked, cleaned and raised children.
    The Disney Dream... That's not sustainable for a long period of time.

    Is sex all that great? The one you turn down is the one you will never get... I think you have to look at "Human Nature" or our instincts... If a man didn't have the desire to reproduce, humans would have died out long ago. With the right woman, yes you will find it very desirable...

  19. #19

    Re: Is sex all that great??

    Hey OP, I agree. I embraced a MGTOW philosophy after a lot of soul searching and considering what I wanted for my life, not what society thinks I should be doing. I realized I don't like compromise in my personal life, I don't want to bring kids into this world and I didn't like the idea of giving anyone legal leverage over me. As far as sex goes, I always felt like I was less motivated by it than other guys. Sure, girls looked very different after puberty, but I didn't feel that motivated to chase after them.

    I had the good fortune of being tall and lean with decent Italian looks, so girls approached me at times. I'm sure there were others, but I finally caught on that they were flirting with me, as awkwardly preteens and teens can muster for flirting. Anyways, I found myself dating without really having tried. It was a little easier in that I went to Catholic schools, so there was a high level of familiarity with most of my classmates, and we all kind of grew up together. I had classmates that I knew since grade school and then we went to the same high school. Anyways, I never pursued sex until I had a girlfriend that carried over from HS to college. We "did it" for the first time our freshman year in college, and it was...ok. I dropped in and out of dating at intervals, and each time I had sex it was...ok. At worst it was tedious and unfulfilling. At best it was decent, like an above average slice of pizza. Something you have in the moment and think "hey, that was pretty good," and then you move on with life. Even in a couple multiyear relationships with regular sex and high level of body comfort, I wouldn't say it ever progressed to something I "needed." I suppose I'm lucky in that regard, it's just not a huge motivator for me, and since that's all a woman would be able to offer me (again, I don't want kids and my dog is a better companion and outdoor adventure partner than they ever could be) I have no motivation to chase after them. IDK, maybe it's a side effect of being circumcised or something.

  20. #20

    Re: Is sex all that great??

    I'll chime in: from my experience, and from the experience of many (generally older) guys that I have talked to, if you have a lot of sex with a lot of different women, what you'll find is that about 10% (maybe 15% tops) of those experiences are memorable. Many more of those experiences are either a) average/meh or b) downright bad.

    So, thinking about all the money and time and hassle and mental and physical energy you have to put into it -- is 10% memorable worth it? Increasingly, as you get older, the answer is "no."

    Now, am I glad that I had those few memorable experiences? Yes, I'm glad I did.

    In short, maybe it depends on where you are in life. Are you in your 20-30s? If so, then pursue it as much as you logically can, and as convenient; and as much as you can afford, money wise and otherwise. Note that this may mean mostly monk status.

    Once you get into your 40s-50s, your priorities will begin to shift. You start to realize that you only have 10-15-20 years of your career left, and you better get serious about retirement planning. This will and should be more important than chasing pu$$y.

    Also, once you hit your 50s, you realize: "$h!t.....I only have about 30 more years to live, if I'm lucky." Then you begin to prioritize other goals, whether they be career or just other life goals (building your dream house, writing that book, etc.)

    Mis dos centavos.


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