Thread: Incels, women, life - and MGTOW

"Incels"...

It's very important to begin by defining what the term means.

"Involuntary celibacy", says the almighty search engine.

Well, based on the meaning of the words, this seems to refer to human beings (male or female) that desire a sexual relationship, but can't get one.

Given the audience I am addressing with this post, let's further decrease the scope - to just males.

So, "Incel: a male that desires a "sexual relationship" but can't get one".

Wait a second.

"Sexual relationship" - what does that term mean, exactly? If a man visits a sex worker once or twice a week, that gives him an incredible "girlfriend experience"... soft kisses, hugs, massage, consistently mind-bending sex...

...does that man have a "sexual relationship" with her? Or not?

It seems to me that this is definitely a "sexual" thing. And if it's a more or less permanent arrangement (which I am sure all sex workers appreciate and desperately push for - the long-term client) then this also covers a lot of "relationship" aspects as well.

There's a reason the oldest of professions has always been a part of societies - it appeases many of the "relationship" desires in men.

So, in that scenario... can that man still be called an "incel", then?

If not...

Well, considering the fact that:

• the most ancient of professions is always available, no matter where you live...
• ...and costs only a fraction of ones salary...
• ...how can there ever be such a thing as "involuntary celibacy", then?

To put it simply: "Dearest Incel, you claim you don't like your celibacy? Fine, visit escorts once or twice a week! They love their regulars, and will give you a decent emulation of intimacy!"

It therefore appears that our first definition of "incel" is wrong.
It's self contradicting, logically inconsistent.

Let's try a second definition.

"Incel: someone that desires a romantic, life-long relationship that includes regular sexual bliss - but can't get one."

Hmm.

"Romantic", you say... But what is "romance"?

If you are looking for something like the classic depictions of lovey-dovey romance in literature and art, I am afraid that you're living in a dream world. That thing is a delusion.

There's a reason that, in the real world, the statement "I love PERSON_X" is always followed by "warts and all". "Romantic feelings" are just a transient, temporary, time-limited, chemically induced drug-addled state. The fact that the drugs are naturally occurring in your blood stream doesn't change the fact that they are, in fact, drugs. Almost all men eventually go through that "altered state" - when we meet that certain kind of woman that "pushes all our buttons". And by buttons, I mean our programmed, animalistic responses - the ones that are hardcoded in our genes.

This "romance" therefore - in any relationship - dissipates over a few months, or a couple of years, max.
It morphs into convenience, safety, stability, and kids.

Nothing more.

So, no - this 2nd definition is broken too. It's utilizing "fairy-tale" terms. We can only crop it down from "romantic, life-long" to just "life-long".

And as soon as we do that...

...we lost our Incels! Because a vital part of the obsession of Incels with females, is "the Disney princess fairy tale"; that of a woman that loves you through-and-through, that willingly gives you her soul and body and faithfully shares her life with you - in blissful oblivion... "Heaven on Earth"!

If you believe that, I have some snake oil to sell you.
And so does a large part of this clown world, that will exploit *the shit* out of you.

The woman in that fairy tale doesn't exist - it's a Unicorn. Part of growing up, is getting to grips with this painful realization - and all men get to it eventually, one way or another.

All there is - in a life-long relationship with a woman - is balancing acts. In the best possible outcome, you tolerate her whims, just as she tolerates yours. Let me repeat that: in the best case scenario, you just tolerate each other. I won't talk about the average, or the worst case scenario - there's more than enough posts in this forum about what happens, on average, to the modern married male. Even if you shoot for the moon and somehow get the unicorn woman, you will just share responsibilities, pains and joys. In everything.

And it must be said plainly: the vast majority of your life will most definitely not be bliss - it will be stress and agony, dealing with a set of problems you'd never have if you stayed single. At best, mingled inside the tedium of marriage, you will get nights of actual tenderness from your wife - the occasional night out, gift exchanging, "rekindling of the flame".

Blips of happiness in a dark sea of boredom... forever rattled up from waves of stress and tides of work-work-work.
Until you turn to dust.

You ask, dear Incel: if the reality of relationships is like that, why do men do it, then? Why do we choose to partner up, and make our lives far more difficult than they would be otherwise?

Simple: Because we are PROGRAMMED to. Choose the programmer you prefer: your favorite God, evolution, societal pressure, religion - we are all programmed and indoctrinated from before we can count to follow societal norms.

Personally, I favor the gene explanation as the root-cause: If you don't have genes that scream at you to procreate, well, then... you don't procreate. And your genes die and disappear from the human race.

Put another way: all of us that are alive today, exist because of a simple reason - a huge chain of our predecessors, men and women, that carried "horny enough" genes, that pushed them to have sex.

That's it. That's why you exist. And that's why you desire women.

There's nothing magical - nothing worth worshiping, nothing worth obsessing about.

Sure, you can choose to worship the process - like so, so many miserable man-slaves do. But that's similar to worshiping a hamburger; a cake; the Holy Ice Cream :-)

Why did I jump to food? Because the same reasoning applies!

We evolved to love sugar and fat. We were born with genes that absolutely ADORE sugar and fat. We "lust" for them - we realize that after consuming sweet sugary fruit, we have a lot more energy. We survive for longer periods, we have more energy to make babies - so our sugar-loving-genes are passed along to the next generation. For millennia upon millennia, the cycle repeated - until every single baby is now born with a pre-programmed addiction for "yay, sugar! Yum".

Does that mean sugar is good for you in today's world?

Hell, no.

We feel these desires, food, lust... because we are the descendants of people carrying horny-sugar-fat-loving-genes.

Add more of these evolutionary attributes to this list, wait for untold revisions evolving over millennia... and you have yourself a human race.

Congrats!

Does it make sense to worship these aspects of our being? Should we obsess about any of it? About being / not being celibate? About having access to sex? Or access to sugar-y crap? To fat-y foods? To the holy vagina?

Any of these obsessions is just as rational as the rest...

That is to say, not at all.

When you realize this, the decision will form naturally in your head: to go your own way. To live your life free, and reach your maximum potential - far from addictions, far from life's traps... Which, I should add, is not just vaginas... We live in societies that have automated the process of addicting people to crap - fast food, pornography, social media - the list is ever expanding.

And you'll never be truly free, until you decide to fight this.

Until you decide to go your own way.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Incel

The first online community to use the term "incel" was founded in 1993; a Canadian university student known only by her first name, Alana, created a website to discuss her sexual inactivity with others.^{[6][32][33][34]} Titled "Alana's Involuntary Celibacy Project", the website was used by people of all genders to share their thoughts and experiences.^[6] In 1997, she started a mailing list on the topic that used the abbreviation INVCEL, later shortened to "incel", for "anybody of any gender who was lonely, had never had sex or who hadn't had a relationship in a long time".^[35] During her college years and after, Alana realized she was bisexual and became more comfortable with her identity.^[34] She stopped participating in her online project around 2000 and gave the site to a stranger.^[36][33] In 2018, Alana said of her project: "It definitely wasn't a bunch of guys blaming women for their problems. That's a pretty sad version of this phenomenon that's happening today. Things have changed in the last 20 years".^[35] When she read about the 2014 Isla Vista killings, and that parts of the incel subculture glorified the perpetrator, she wrote: "Like a scientist who invented something that ended up being a weapon of war, I can't uninvent this word, nor restrict it to the nicer people who need it".^[37][34] She expressed regret at the change in usage from her original intent of creating an "inclusive community" for people of all genders who were sexually deprived due to social awkwardness, marginalization, or mental illness.^[25]

So as you can see the term Incel was created by a woman to describe her own inability to get laid. It was later used in a different manner to how she intended which appears to be slightly less political or angry.

What I have noticed with the the male Incel's is that if they just wanted to get laid they could probably do that fairly easily, especially in countries with legalized prostitution. What they seem to want is the relationship which is different game altogether. And the reason they want the relationship is they think that will make them happy or happier.

So yes, it is about programming. Things have changed and just like dreaming of being the engineer of a steam train, some things are best accepted that they just most likely won't happen.

As a 4chan anon stated incel has always existed, in pop culture, they were usually called 'nerds' instead.

Now you have billion dollar grossing 'capeshit' movies of comic books associated with nerds of the 1990s and the push of 'muh diversity' in video game development (Rockstart and GTA6). With the rise of internet, things such as British soccer and anime are regarded as less snobby/nerdy, so now they need to transition to a new term to describe men who don't wish to take part in their 'happy wife happy life' bullshit.

Originally Posted by Kryptic

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Incel



So as you can see the term Incel was created by a woman to describe her own inability to get laid. It was later used in a different manner to how she intended which appears to be slightly less political or angry.

What I have noticed with the the male Incel's is that if they just wanted to get laid they could probably do that fairly easily, especially in countries with legalized prostitution. What they seem to want is the relationship which is different game altogether. And the reason they want the relationship is they think that will make them happy or happier.

So yes, it is about programming. Things have changed and just like dreaming of being the engineer of a steam train, some things are best accepted that they just most likely won't happen.

How exactly did she create a web site in 1993 when the world wide web wasn't widely available until 1995? Or did she do it on a dialup BBS?

Originally Posted by TigPlaze

How exactly did she create a web site in 1993 when the world wide web wasn't widely available until 1995? Or did she do it on a dialup BBS?

I clicked on the first reference point of the quoted part (Reference 6) and it seems she created the website in '96/'97

For Alana, the online incel world has become “twisted” from the rudimentary text-only website she built around 1996 or 1997. She had found herself a virgin in her mid-20s and came up with the term involuntary celibates, selected for its clinical descriptiveness. Later, after she sought out therapy and began to date, she created a website for people who had similar experiences.

https://www.theglobeandmail.com/cana...-the-internet/

Yeah, I always thought incel was a bit of a misnomer also.

Incels need to learn 3 things to be relatively content with life:
1. Self love 2.self pleasure 3.apathy towards others

If you can love yourself (emotional support the self), can fuck yourself(robot pussy FTW) and not give a shot what others things(but they most likely invisible any)

They can live a pretty decent life if they do this. He'll even if a man ain't a Incels they should still learn to live without women or other people

The winners are thoses who care the least!

Well more often than not you don't even get p***y or emotional support from wife anyways.


Honestly I don't think that hedonism will make your life better. Women are the best example of that.
They choose instant gratification over sure thing. They love themselves more than anything else.
They do not care about anyone else and the only thing they want is pleasure.
Yet - have you seen a happy one?

I think the fullfilment comes from doing something that can be shared with someone. Something that not only improves your life but also all the people around you. I think that's the main reason so many MGTOWs choose to post content.
That's why although often they have way more resources at their disposal than married men, and could just do nothing all day, they often have hobbies and side hussles.