Thread: I'm not supposed to get crushes on women anymore

I'm retired from dating, and now I live just for myself. What a relief. MGTOW has been the right choice for me. So that should shut off any possible crushes on any woman, right? Wrong. I have this ridiculous crush on my French teacher. There's this online web site/app where you can find someone to help you with a language. Getting fluent at French is an important goal of mine, so I went for it. I've been studying the language for years, and I already have a decent intermediate level, but I want to get better.

So I went for it. This young women in Morocco has been helping with my French, and it's totally working. I've gotten a lot better just in the couple months worth of lessons. However, I didn't plan to develop a crush on her. Well, crap. I find myself thinking about her all the time. All that simpy blue-pilled crap is still programmed in, triggered by this euphoric feeling. I think of simpy BS like going on a cruise with her and getting together with her. Spurting jizz into her cunt feels like the ultimate goal in life.

Even if I were still in blue pill world, any relation with her would be totally impractical. She lives in a country far, far away from me, and she's also way younger. Our senses of humor just match really well. The lessons with her are totally fun, and are helping me to get closer to my goal of speaking totally fluent French. That was my goal that brought me to her. I never planned to crush on her.

I thought via MGTOW I had cured myself from crushing on anyone. I guess not. I know better than this shit. But that doesn't stop a ridiculous blue-pill-style plot for playing in my head of a super romantic story where we get together and all is wonderful.

That euphoric feeling is like someone slipped into my room at night and injected me with opiates. How do I deal with this? MGTOW is supposed to shut off crushes. I guess it doesn't. Fuck. I need to jizz into a high quality flesh light or escort. Shit.

That biological programming runs deep. It's happened to me over the past few years. Rub a few out and carry on.

I was thinking about this the other day as there has been a number of dating related threads of late. We are still men. I saw a woman yesterday at the supermarket. She was hot, she was even dressed well which is amazing for the current age. She was curvy and had high heels and a nice dress on, long dark hair. I didn't do anything nor was I even tempted really but I have to say she was really beautiful.

Here's the thing. We idealize, or at least I do. We see the woman we like and we build her up as something amazing in our minds. We put her on that pedestal and of course she isn't perfect, in some cases not even 50% perfect. It's just tingles and a dream. No different to when I watch Top Gun and want to fly a fighter plane. It looks like so much fun but there is a lot of work to do before you even get to see that jet!

Same with women. Better to just leave it in your head.

Enjoy your crush, just the same as I enjoy some old romantic movies, SOME!
I really enjoy some Star Trek too but I don't seriously expect to bump into any Klingons down the supermarket.

Having an online crush like yours is like Odysseus tying himself to the mast to enjoy the mesmerising song of the sirens, as long as you never have it any more than an online crush.

She lives halfway around the world, so no harm done.

Tell you what, though- it just goes to show that the biological urge to procreate is about the strongest force in nature, capable of overcoming completely rational thought under certain circumstances.

Fantasize all you want, no harm done. Just remember that she probably has 5+ dudes hitting on her regularly, not to mention any online guys. She may even have a husband or boyfriend already. Don't mistake her friendliness for flirting, I can almost guarantee she doesn't think about you like that.

So don't be hard in yourself, you're human. Just separate fantasy from reality.

It's a chemical reaction in the brain. You need post nut clarity. You are letting your lust for her effect you.

Just carry on with life.

What you are experiencing is normal. Its biological.

But dont forget: its also in our biology to get over crushes/relationships/romance after some time.

Just carry on with life and dont do anything stupid. Youll lose the feelings for her in time to come.

We can have 100% "mental assent" to the GYOW concept, and adhere to it daily, but still be subject to an occasional disruption from the emotional side of ourselves. Sure, we can repress that side of us. We can keep in reined in. But we can't kill it off. It's always lurking in the corner, waiting for another chance to strike and fuck us up one more time.

Typically, when we don't have all the info on someone, our desires and imaginations will supply the info that's missing. But those missing traits are based on the things we value in a woman (companionship, kindness, fidelity, reciprocity), not on what that woman actually has to offer or would be willing to offer us singularly. Those traits we assign her are invented, with no connections to actual facts. We let beauty or a voice or a walk or whatever fuel the profile completion. In my decades of experience, the imagined result has always, always been wrong when compared to reality.

Even if the imagination does somehow get it right, against all odds, purely by chance, we know that people change over time, Cute and smart and hot and dedicated and all in on a relationship will often turn into a train wreck a few miles down the track.

I totally agree with BMod that time will kill the buzz. Hell, I've had massive crushes on various women I've worked with over the years (but never went after because I knew better), and you know how often I think about them now? About never. And if I do, it's like, "Pffft... yeah whatever."

Once you've had a few of these crushes, you can recognize them for what they are: a bunch of bullshit. And you can just dismiss them. The first few are tough. The very first one is typically a nightmare. So I guess there's a setting realistic expectations component to all this. You know, "Welcome to the human race" and all that.

Denying our nature sets us up to be ruled by our nature.

Knowing and accepting our nature gives us the tools we need to reign over it like Kim Jung-un reigning over North Korea!

Originally Posted by Toolband89

Fantasize all you want, no harm done. Just remember that she probably has 5+ dudes hitting on her regularly, not to mention any online guys. She may even have a husband or boyfriend already. Don't mistake her friendliness for flirting, I can almost guarantee she doesn't think about you like that.

So don't be hard in yourself, you're human. Just separate fantasy from reality.

If you're paying for these French lessons then everything you see her doing is an act. She's just doing her job, and quite well I might add if she's tricked you into thinking there's anything more going on here than a language lesson. Guarantee she had to practice coming across the way she does in order to work in that job. She can probably also turn it off like a switch.

Originally Posted by laer

If you're paying for these French lessons then everything you see her doing is an act. She's just doing her job, and quite well I might add if she's tricked you into thinking there's anything more going on here than a language lesson. Guarantee she had to practice coming across the way she does in order to work in that job. She can probably also turn it off like a switch.

She didn't trick me into feeling attracted to her. That just happened as a result of biological instinct. She and I share the same kind of sense of humor. She's just making her lessons fun. She doesn't have any agenda to sexually attract me to her. It just happened as a result of biology.

This crush is not her fault. I take full responsibility for it.

Originally Posted by TigPlaze

She didn't trick me into feeling attracted to her. That just happened as a result of biological instinct. She and I share the same kind of sense of humor. She's just making her lessons fun. She doesn't have any agenda to sexually attract me to her. It just happened as a result of biology.

This crush is not her fault. I take full responsibility for it.

I'm betting if you got a whiff of her genetic pheromones, your "instincts" will be different than your intellectual inspired attraction?

There's allot more to; "if it smells like chalone, leave it alone, if it smells like fish, eat all you wish", than people give it credit for.

Ugly fat bitches give off ugly fat pheromones! What you're looking at is engraved on it's genetic chip, pheromones send your nose a copy off that chip!

The last time I had a crush was in the third grade. There was a cute blonde who was so obnoxious even the other girls couldn't stand her. She and her jock boyfriend were politely telling me that she was not attracted to me when I realized I couldn't stand her either. What a gift it was, and I never allowed my hormones to rule me again.

Now that I think about it, I know how to say, "I would really love to ejaculate in your cunt" in French. It's:
"J'adorais vraiment éjaculer dans ta chatte."

Sometimes you learn expressions in another language that you will not be using. I will not be saying that in my Skype call with my French teacher. Probably wouldn't be a good idea.

Yeah, that would land squarely on "ça ne marcherait pas."

An update: The euphoric feeling for this girl has really died down. I think I'm getting over this crush, but we'll see. I'm seeing her tomorrow for my French lesson. We'll see if that re-stokes the fires of the crush or if I'm at that "What was I thinking?" phase.

I want to keep seeing her for French because she's helping me to improve a ton.