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  1. #1

    I would like your opinion on my situation

    I don't go online much so bear with me.

    I'm 40/m. No kids. Never married. I have lived with a girl with kids and it was a very stressful 3 years. I have Tourette's syndrome which was very rampant my whole life until I go to about 30. I didn't go past first semester of highschool and became a huge loser who sat inside all the time reading books instead of doing the things I should have.

    Then I hit around 30 and got my first gf (took whatever I could get). Lived with her and her parents for a year. I lost a lot of weight due to interest in bodybuilding and then found out I had low testosterone. So on injections I go, I drop her like a used Kleenex, and move back with my parents. So I'm 31 at this point and met a 24 year old with her own place and two little kids. Did that scene for 3 years.

    Here I am at 40, only have 1 year of work experience in an office that no longer exists, and still live with my parents because with my disability benefits I would be eating ice cube sandwiches if I lived on my own right now. Moving really isn't in the cards. When my parents die my brother is willed the house and all assets. His wife doesn't like that I drink so she accused me of grooming her son and it's been an all out war for 3 years and now my brother no longer speaks to me. Safe to say it's tent city when my parents die.

    I don't have anyone to ask as my parents don't wanna hear about it. Where do I do from here? Is there something I should be doing?

    A typical day I play guitar and mandolin. Go for a nice long walk by the beach. Sometimes play my mandolin down there. I used to go to pubs but since Covid restrictions you can't mingle so what's the point? I'm usually never bored except at night, but that's just how I am.

    I don't have any real friends. Nobody to hang out with. I went on ribfest twice by myself to watch a band when it was here so I'm not afraid to go and do things.

    I know my disability makes people just write me off and I accept that. That's how people are. I feel I'm above average in looks and I've slept with quite a few women so I know it's not my physical features. I don't want a relationship but to make some friends/acquaintances I can at least use for a character reference when I eventually have to rent a place. I can't count on my brother to help as I have had to pay his rent 2x in the past 18 months.

    What do I need to do in life now? Sorry this sounds so dumb but I really don't have anyone to ask.

    Thank you for your time.

    Edit - I went back to school when I was in that 3 year relationship and graduated. After that worked at on office for a year on contract. After that had a few other jobs but they didn't work out. Anything entry level I'm financially better off on disability than working. Sad but true
    Last edited by BedroomBully; September 20, 2021 at 5:27 PM. Reason: Forgot an important part.

  2. #2
    Administrator jagrmeister's Avatar
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    Re: I would like your opinion on my situation

    Your sister-in-law accused you of grooming their son because she didn't like you? These are the consequences of a culture that says "listen to the women" ...... when usually they are full of shit. Not all, but many- their evil knows no bounds.

    I'd say find some people you get along with. My personal view- we are not meant to be completely alone. I know there are Ghosts but there is a reason solitary confinement in prison is considered a kind of torture. I like being alone - at times- but being with others, esp. people that get me, is something I'm grateful for. I bet you can find some like minds on music-related MeetUp's given that you play instruments. Some apps have friend-finders; I know that may sound lame but I've been curious to try it out.

    Given that your family seems to have a certain view of you, I think even more it's useful to have people who don't see you in a negative light. There's something about friendship- where perhaps because of our tribal origins- we don't feel like we should have to put effort to make friends. It should happen naturally. But the tribe is long gone, replaced with atomized, soulless modern life. So unfortunately we do have to be pro-active about it.

    Just some thoughts after reading your writeup.

    Some of you may be wondering -- who is this Jagrmeister guy? Have a look at some of my posts from MGTOW Forums--> Jagr Archive (collection of my articles)



    Stuff I do: Box, Surf, Tennis (3.5/4.0), Downhill skiing. I lift 4x a week and have for 10 years.
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  3. #3

    Re: I would like your opinion on my situation

    Thanks for the response.

    Yeah she made that up just for spite. Also told my mother to kick me out. She has accused others of grooming her son. It's a constant theme and my parents see this. My parents negative view of me is basically because I have a disability I should of been tossed off a cliff like 300. They are also lazy and never had interest in teaching my brother anything either. He's worked at McDonalds for 15 years.

    I have been active posting in some local music groups but unfortunately everyone seems either not interested or are afraid of covid. I'll keep trying and I play multiple instruments.

    Thanks for your input.

  4. #4
    Senior Member mgtower's Avatar
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    Re: I would like your opinion on my situation

    Bro, I'll be honest, drinking as a long term career has negative consequences on your mental and physical well being. You're asking for input, and I'm giving it.

    Have you considered working for yourself while collecting disability? Perhaps using your disability payments as a stabilizer and springboard to help you get your own business off the ground? Only you can take charge of your life and push yourself to do the things that need to be done.
    Any man that seeks leadership outside himself has a fool for a guide.

  5. #5

    Re: I would like your opinion on my situation

    Quote Originally Posted by mgtower View Post
    Bro, I'll be honest, drinking as a long term career has negative consequences on your mental and physical well being. You're asking for input, and I'm giving it.

    Have you considered working for yourself while collecting disability? Perhaps using your disability payments as a stabilizer and springboard to help you get your own business off the ground? Only you can take charge of your life and push yourself to do the things that need to be done.
    I agree about the drinking and quit 3 months into covid last year, but it was my hobby and everyone I knew drank. I went there for one beer and it just wasn't fun.

    I have considered a small cash type business but I have yet to think of anything I am confident enough in to do. Problem with never having worked is never picking up any skills. I'm also known in town as a drunk, which is a stain I must live with but it's easy to tell I don't drink anymore as I look and behave different.

  6. #6
    Senior Member mgtower's Avatar
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    Re: I would like your opinion on my situation

    Quote Originally Posted by BedroomBully View Post
    I agree about the drinking and quit 3 months into covid last year, but it was my hobby and everyone I knew drank. I went there for one beer and it just wasn't fun.

    I have considered a small cash type business but I have yet to think of anything I am confident enough in to do. Problem with never having worked is never picking up any skills. I'm also known in town as a drunk, which is a stain I must live with but it's easy to tell I don't drink anymore as I look and behave different.
    You're one the right path, stay on the right path and the friends you make won't be drinkers with lives plagued by drama, going your own way is leaving the party never to return. All you have to do is be committed to the path and keep pressing forward in spite of temptation and storms of weakness! Just reach down deep and keep dragging your ass to a better day! I'm saying all this from experience!
    Any man that seeks leadership outside himself has a fool for a guide.

  7. #7
    Administrator Unboxxed's Avatar
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    Re: I would like your opinion on my situation

    Quote Originally Posted by BedroomBully View Post
    When my parents die my brother is willed the house and all assets.
    They have allowed you to know this? Wow. Have they not provided for you in their will in any way at all?


    Quote Originally Posted by BedroomBully View Post
    I'm also known in town as a drunk, which is a stain I must live with but it's easy to tell I don't drink anymore as I look and behave different.
    If you continue to present sobriety moving forward, in time you can expect their perceptions to change.
    The two most important days in your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why. - Mark Twain

    The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.
    - Henry David Thoreau

    There are 10 types of people in the world - those who understand binary, and those who don't.

    Suitable for bookmarking: www.fakehatecrimes.org and www.breitbart.com/tag/hate-crime-hoax

  8. #8

    Re: I would like your opinion on my situation

    Quote Originally Posted by Unboxxed View Post
    They have allowed you to know this? Wow. Have they not provided for you in their will in any way at all?




    If you continue to present sobriety moving forward, in time you can expect their perceptions to change.
    There is nothing left to me. They told me this after they had a lawyer draw it up when I was like 20. They don't have any money, but they own a house and vehicle. Their perceptions are unlikely to change as my mother is 70 and father 68.

  9. #9

    Re: I would like your opinion on my situation

    Well, at your parents age you probably got a good 10 - 20 maybe years by which you'll be in the 60s yourself, should start on some basic exercises just to stay relatively fit if you wanna keep healthy at that age as the older you start the harder it gets.
    Suppose you should start saving you so you have a decent amount incase you get kicked out after your brother inherits the house, maybe he won't mind idk. His wife is a cunt, no surprises there, keep your expectations low on that side of the fence.

    Will be another decade before I'm 40, by 60 or 70 if I'm in poor shape to actually enjoy hobbies and life, probably just off myself at that point, would have already lived the majority of my life and could be weaker if not in good physical shape. But yea, save and invest for that rainy day, just not in crypto lotteries or kids screaming to the moon on their next pump and dumps.

    Friends you could make finding people with similar hobbies and go from there, as for what to do in life, enjoy it while it's enjoyable is what I go with.

  10. #10
    Senior Member MGTOWFOREVER's Avatar
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    Re: I would like your opinion on my situation

    Im going to be brutally honest with you.

    It's good you quit drinking. It's a waste of time and money.

    Get as far away as you can from your family. They are holding you back. That sister in law sounds like she might #metoo you.

    You mentioned you are on disability. There is many government programs out there to help you. Did you try government housing? It's not bad where you live in a building with crackheads like on TV. You'd be able to rent wherever you want for next to nothing.

    You mentioned you would be "eating ice cream sandwiches " if it wasn't for your parents. Well considering they are like $4 or more a box you need to make better choices. Potatoes, noodles, vegetables, and eggs are your friends. I just made a pot of spaghetti with breakfast sausages and shredded cheese. Guess for how much? $5. It lasted for 3 days. Thats like a buck and change a day.

    There is food banks in your area. Find them and go. They give a lot of good stuff.

    Since you are on disability you probably also qualify for food stamps, heating and electric assistance, plus more.

    Your disability check is the key to a better future. Please just think about what I wrote.

  11. #11

    Re: I would like your opinion on my situation

    Quote Originally Posted by MGTOWFOREVER View Post
    Im going to be brutally honest with you.

    It's good you quit drinking. It's a waste of time and money.

    Get as far away as you can from your family. They are holding you back. That sister in law sounds like she might #metoo you.

    You mentioned you are on disability. There is many government programs out there to help you. Did you try government housing? It's not bad where you live in a building with crackheads like on TV. You'd be able to rent wherever you want for next to nothing.

    You mentioned you would be "eating ice cream sandwiches " if it wasn't for your parents. Well considering they are like $4 or more a box you need to make better choices. Potatoes, noodles, vegetables, and eggs are your friends. I just made a pot of spaghetti with breakfast sausages and shredded cheese. Guess for how much? $5. It lasted for 3 days. Thats like a buck and change a day.

    There is food banks in your area. Find them and go. They give a lot of good stuff.

    Since you are on disability you probably also qualify for food stamps, heating and electric assistance, plus more.

    Your disability check is the key to a better future. Please just think about what I wrote.
    Ice cube sandwiches. Free from the freezer.

  12. #12

    Re: I would like your opinion on my situation

    Quote Originally Posted by BedroomBully View Post
    Here I am at 40, only have 1 year of work experience in an office that no longer exists ... Anything entry level I'm financially better off on disability than working. Sad but true
    Sometimes entry-level pay will afford one with work-experience, and will allow one to build useful and marketable skills which will help you to move around.

    If you have no interest in entry-level work, then what about hard work and manual labour?

    You can try living and working in off-grid communities, with the goal of eventually accumulating enough experience to live a permaculture lifestyle:

    Free Land Living Off Grid With No Money | Off Grid Permaculture


    (https://offgridpermaculture.com/Find..._No_Money.html)

    If you're not at the stage where off-gird permaculture appeals to you, and you have a lot of time on your hands, try dumpster diving (https://www.thebrokebackpacker.com/d...g-for-dummies/), look out for things that people throw away that you can re-use, repair and re-sell. One person's trash is another person's treasure - sell what you can and save the money for when you will eventually be kicked out to tent-city.

  13. #13

    Re: I would like your opinion on my situation

    You might consider attending AA for support and guidance. If you've recently quit drinking after a long period of indulgence, you could use some support in restructuring your life, post-booze. AA has a lot of people with experience doing that. And the nice thing about AA is, you suddenly have a whole room of people who can be your "tribe," free of charge.

    You can always leave if it's not to your liking, but I'd suggest attending a few different meetings in your area, just to get a flavor. If you feel comfortable (or healthily uncomfortable), the next step would be to ask an AA veteran to sponsor you. He'll be like a personal sounding board. It's all free of charge and generally done out of the spirit of generosity you find in the better meetings.

    If one meeting sucks, try a different one; they can vary significantly in quality. Best of luck. Alcohol problems run in my family, so I can relate.

  14. #14
    Senior Member MGTOWFOREVER's Avatar
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    Re: I would like your opinion on my situation

    Quote Originally Posted by BedroomBully View Post
    Ice cube sandwiches. Free from the freezer.
    I just gave you a bunch of options. Did you look into anything? Make some calls?

    I was worse off than you. Last October I lost everything and was homeless. I have nobody. I got off my ass and got things done. Im going to give you another option. Is there a salvation army in your area? They will help pay moving fees when you find a place. They pay first months rent and security or they will direct you to an agency that does. Its practically guaranteed since you are on disability.

    You have all these options now its up to you.

  15. #15

    Re: I would like your opinion on my situation

    Quote Originally Posted by MGTOWFOREVER View Post
    I just gave you a bunch of options. Did you look into anything? Make some calls?

    I was worse off than you. Last October I lost everything and was homeless. I have nobody. I got off my ass and got things done. Im going to give you another option. Is there a salvation army in your area? They will help pay moving fees when you find a place. They pay first months rent and security or they will direct you to an agency that does. Its practically guaranteed since you are on disability.

    You have all these options now its up to you.
    You gave me options yes. Did I make calls? No. I'm not getting kicked out at the moment. There is a salvation army here, as well as some others. Housing is 30+ year backlog in Ontario that any girl with a newborn can get to top of list. That's not a good plan unless shacking up.

    I applied at dominos pizza today. I lied on the resume and said I work at 8 different pizza places over 15 years. Before that construction (which will explain the 6'2 235 frame. I'm not small and therefore people assume construction). They legally have you train by law anyway so really it's if they like me and the fact I can work any shift but prefer to be part time. Time will tell.

    I did 2 hours of course practice. An hour of mandolin at the park. Walked the track (university track) 3 laps.

    Not a bad day. Might smoke a cannon later though.

  16. #16

    Re: I would like your opinion on my situation

    Now they are both in a fight with my mother. Couldn't be any sweeter. Showing their true colours going insane about an election. Got so bad my mother said "if you hate the government so much why don't you stop sucking up the welfare". I mentioned his wife doesn't work, right? Then they had a sob story of how they can barely afford to live, only to be met with "should of thought before she went and accused _. He's the only one who would give you money. He paid your rent twice and her family doesn't have a pot to piss in!"

    They haven't spoken since. Hopefully it dawns on them that living in isolation with only the internet as entertainment (her child can't read at age 11) is making them weird and everyone is sick of this bullshit. My father mentioned to my mother my sister in law is crazy and only getting worse. I told my mother this is what happens when you reward them for being assholes. Now she wants a lifestyle that cannot be afforded. Ever see a near 40 year old working at McDonald's. That's him. How many McDonalds workers own a house in a market where nothing is under 500k?

  17. #17

    Re: I would like your opinion on my situation

    Quote Originally Posted by jagrmeister View Post
    Your sister-in-law accused you of grooming their son because she didn't like you? These are the consequences of a culture that says "listen to the women" ...... when usually they are full of shit. Not all, but many- their evil knows no bounds.
    It's so sad seeing the amount of men's lives that have been ruined because women lied about something they did i.e. grooming, rape, cheating (you can get kicked out of the military for it), etc. Society seems to be stuck on this idea that women are always right even when they aren't and even when there is no evidence to support their point. We need to move towards a space where everyone is truly percieved as innocent until proven guilty instead of thinking people are guilty until proven innocent.

  18. #18

    Re: I would like your opinion on my situation

    Quote Originally Posted by RaptorHunter182 View Post
    It's so sad seeing the amount of men's lives that have been ruined because women lied about something they did i.e. grooming, rape, cheating (you can get kicked out of the military for it), etc. Society seems to be stuck on this idea that women are always right even when they aren't and even when there is no evidence to support their point. We need to move towards a space where everyone is truly percieved as innocent until proven guilty instead of thinking people are guilty until proven innocent.
    My mental health went to shit from it. I don't like being around children anymore. I don't trust women. I started getting into violent porn. It really did a number on me. My mother mentioned the other day I haven't smiled in years and use drugs daily since that happened. She got upset I was told im not allowed at their wedding and she has told her own family and friends that I'm a groomer. Worst part really is the kid is a boy. At least if a girl I'm straight. She wants to make it even worse.

  19. #19

    Re: I would like your opinion on my situation

    Quote Originally Posted by BedroomBully View Post
    My mental health went to shit from it. I don't like being around children anymore. I don't trust women. I started getting into violent porn. It really did a number on me. My mother mentioned the other day I haven't smiled in years and use drugs daily since that happened. She got upset I was told im not allowed at their wedding and she has told her own family and friends that I'm a groomer. Worst part really is the kid is a boy. At least if a girl I'm straight. She wants to make it even worse.
    Dam, it sounds like your family is not doing any fucking favours to your mental health whatsoever, legit you need to leave that environment and go somewhere peaceful, seems like anywhere else would be an improvement compared to your current position.

  20. #20

    Re: I would like your opinion on my situation

    I don't have the money for it. Rent in a ghetto shithole room (not apartment, room) is at least $1000 + utility. I get 1199 per month. How could I even live? If I work I get paid 50 cents on the dollar because disability claws back my benefits.

    I'm stuck here. It's the way it is when you have disability. I can try to live with a random stranger and have zero money but how is that going to help my mental health? Living here i could just go back to being a rampaging drunk and at least always have soap and food and laundry because I have all that money.

    It sucks, unfortunately. Stuck between a rock and a hard place. I know I'm wasting my life here but what life would I have on my own?


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