Thread: I think I am too angry for MGTOW

I’ve been abused by women (sexually, mentally, and physically) since the age of 5. I’ve been in therapy since and on psych meds since the age of 12. I’m 42 now. After reading the post here and checking out MGTOW videos, I seriously doubt MGTOW is for me. I tried the incel thing, but those guys are too racist and hateful towards Black men. I hate women, because of what they have done to me. I can’t let go of the hate. I have no idea where I belong in society. I’ve been detained for and released for DV more times than I can count. As soon as my mom shows a prosecutor a list of my mental disorders and how women abuse me, I’m immediately released. I have never gotten along with a woman outside of my family. I had to find a job that doesn’t have any women on my shift.

Question. (I know I’m all over the place. I’m bipolar, schizophrenic, OCD, and schizotypal so I can’t help it). How in the heck do you guys keep calm and not be angry?

I’m not a troll. I just have no idea what to do. I can’t take classes, (even online) because I don’t work well with groups. I’ve been expelled from several schools for threatening to bring gun. I got kicked out of my group therapy for attacking another client after he said something foul to me.

Originally Posted by BlacknMGTOW

I’ve been abused by women (sexually, mentally, and physically) since the age of 5. I’ve been in therapy since and on psych meds since the age of 12. I’m 42 now. After reading the post here and checking out MGTOW videos, I seriously doubt MGTOW is for me. I tried the incel thing, but those guys are too racist and hateful towards Black men. I hate women, because of what they have done to me. I can’t let go of the hate. I have no idea where I belong in society. I’ve been detained for and released for DV more times than I can count. As soon as my mom shows a prosecutor a list of my mental disorders and how women abuse me, I’m immediately released. I have never gotten along with a woman outside of my family. I had to find a job that doesn’t have any women on my shift.

Question. (I know I’m all over the place. I’m bipolar, schizophrenic, OCD, and schizotypal so I can’t help it). How in the heck do you guys keep calm and not be angry?

I’m not a troll. I just have no idea what to do. I can’t take classes, (even online) because I don’t work well with groups. I’ve been expelled from several schools for threatening to bring gun. I got kicked out of my group therapy for attacking another client after he said something foul to me.

Hey, dude. Sorry you've been though a rough ride. I think you're smart to be in therapy, since we can't be your therapy here. Just do the best you can with therapy. If you need to get something off your chest, you can do so here. We don't turn anyone away on account of race.

It's tough to see other men who have been so seriously screwed over by our sick system. Just put your efforts into healing, and handle each day as it comes. I hope things get better for you.

A lot of us figure we're over hating women, and on the surface, it looks that way. But hate don't always go away. Many times, we cover it up and think it's gone but find out different when something triggers our memory's. Hate's powerful shit and not as easy to control as most people think.

What you need to realize though, is hating women don't accomplish a thing, the only one being hurt is yourself. Try to think of that the next time one pops your circuit breaker. One of Springsteen's old songs has a line that goes "you got to learn to live with what you can't rise above." I've tried to remember these words and they sometimes help. My family's had our share of hate, so I have some experience in this field.

Your problem is too big to stop all at once. But maybe if you can keep from brewing up every time someone sets you off, that would be a good start.

Originally Posted by frog

But maybe if you can keep from brewing up every time someone sets you off, that would be a good start.

My mental disorders prevent me from having control of my mind when someone triggers me. That’s why I go out of my way to avoid women and men who sympathize with toxic female behavior. I go as far as using uber eats to have my food delivered or I use an app to order my food and pick it up. I do what I can to limit my interaction with people IRL. I work by myself at work. I literally have a whole room to myself. It’s just me and my machine I operate. I also focus on fitness and looking good. ( I like looking at myself in mirror).

Originally Posted by BlacknMGTOW

My mental disorders prevent me from having control of my mind when someone triggers me. That’s why I go out of my way to avoid women and men who sympathize with toxic female behavior. I go as far as using uber eats to have my food delivered or I use an app to order my food and pick it up. I do what I can to limit my interaction with people IRL. I work by myself at work. I literally have a whole room to myself. It’s just me and my machine I operate. I also focus on fitness and looking good. ( I like looking at myself in mirror).

It is possible to heal from pain, even very intense pain. Frog is right that hanging onto anger only hurts you. It is possible to forgive others and thus to free yourself. I'm the last person who would ever claim that is easy. I knew a man who was in a Nazi concentration camp. He was a kind man who had chosen to no longer hold any resentment toward those who had hurt him. I also saw info online about a man whose wife and daughter got killed in a car accident by a drunk driver. He chose to forgive the drunk rather than live with anger eating him up.

I'm not saying you're obligated to forgive anyone. I'm only saying that it's an option. I can tell you it was a massive burden off my shoulders when I forgave my ex who had cheated on me and destroyed my life. I'm still a work in progress. There are still some people that I haven't let go of anger toward. But just remember, there is no quick fix that instantly makes everything all better. It's a process of building yourself up day by day.

I was lucky to have a good therapist. When I talked with him about crap I had been through, it was the first time I had ever even talked about my pain with anyone. If you've got a good therapist, talk candidly about everything that's eating you. Consider forgiving those who have hurt you. Again, you're not obligated to, and you're not a bad person if you don't. However, I can testify that doing so is liberating.

All the best to you, man. Thank you for speaking up. I believe better days are ahead for you.

Originally Posted by BlacknMGTOW

Question. (I know I’m all over the place. I’m bipolar, schizophrenic, OCD, and schizotypal so I can’t help it). How in the heck do you guys keep calm and not be angry?

Music, Meditation or Exercise. All of which can be found on youtube. You could also get a pet, such as a therapy dog.

Originally Posted by BlacknMGTOW

I’ve been expelled from several schools for threatening to bring gun. I got kicked out of my group therapy for attacking another client after he said something foul to me.

I think threatening to bring a gun and attacking someone is a VERY big mistake. Violence is not the answer. The trick is to channel all that anger and rage into something constructive....such as heavy weight lifting, boxing, martial arts or a side construction job ( rarely any women there) that allows you to expend all that angry energy.

Save up enough money and try the van-life. You get to travel on your own adventures.

Originally Posted by FreeGhost

Music, Meditation or Exercise. All of which can be found on youtube. You could also get a pet, such as a therapy dog.



I think threatening to bring a gun and attacking someone is a VERY big mistake. Violence is not the answer. The trick is to channel all that anger and rage into something constructive....such as heavy weight lifting, boxing, martial arts or a side construction job ( rarely any women there) that allows you to expend all that angry energy.

Save up enough money and try the van-life. You get to travel on your own adventures.

I already lift. People think I’m a recent retired professional boxer. I’m not good at saving money.
I avoid human contact as much as possible IRL, so there are no humans around to trigger my anger. When I do go to the gym, I have my headphones and listen to music.

Part of me still think you are trolling but on the off chance that i'm wrong you must learn to just breathe and realize nothing, not women, not your problems, not your past, is worth getting angry about, none of it is worth your peace of mind in the present. Just breathe. We're not therapists but whenever your thoughts get convoluted and your nerves are going there feel free to come here and try to figure things out with the clearer heads around here.

Originally Posted by FreeGhost

Music, Meditation or Exercise. All of which can be found on youtube. You could also get a pet, such as a therapy dog.

I think threatening to bring a gun and attacking someone is a VERY big mistake. Violence is not the answer. The trick is to channel all that anger and rage into something constructive....such as heavy weight lifting, boxing, martial arts or a side construction job ( rarely any women there) that allows you to expend all that angry energy.

Save up enough money and try the van-life. You get to travel on your own adventures.

I agree with this. If you own a firearm, and there's any chance at all that you might lose control and either threaten to harm someone with it or actually harm someone, I would separate yourself from that weapon immediately. Either sell it or if there's someone else you can trust to lock it up in their gun safe, do that. You don't want to be anywhere near a firearm if there's any chance you might hurt yourself or others.

Please wait until you're in a better, more mentally stable frame of mind, and then consider whether or not you want to own a firearm. You could end up dead or locked up for life if you screw up with a firearm. And there's nothing at all wrong with not owning one. I don't have one. And, to be clear, you're not a bad person for having these feelings. Just make sure they never come out in the form of hurting someone.

Originally Posted by TigPlaze

I agree with this. If you own a firearm, and there's any chance at all that you might lose control and either threaten to harm someone with it or actually harm someone, I would separate yourself from that weapon immediately. Either sell it or if there's someone else you can trust to lock it up in their gun safe, do that. You don't want to be anywhere near a firearm if there's any chance you might hurt yourself or others.

Please wait until you're in a better, more mentally stable frame of mind, and then consider whether or not you want to own a firearm. You could end up dead or locked up for life if you screw up with a firearm. And there's nothing at all wrong with not owning one. I don't have one. And, to be clear, you're not a bad person for having these feelings. Just make sure they never come out in the form of hurting someone.

I got rid of my gun last year.

Originally Posted by Hedon

Part of me still thinks you are trolling but on the off chance that i'm wrong you must learn to just breathe and realize nothing, not women, not your problems, not your past, is worth getting angry about, none of it is worth your peace of mind in the present. Just breathe. We're not therapists but whenever your thoughts get convoluted and your nerves are going there feel free to come here and try to figure things out with the clearer heads around here.

I am not trolling. I’m a real person. This is my youtube channel.

https://youtube.com/channel/UCqzdxdRtnl8YLNd0ev0pH-A

Hey BlacknMGTOW,

How are you doing today?

As others have stated we’re not therapists, but many of us have been through shit and can offer our viewpoints for you to reflect upon.

For myself, I’m not big on forgiveness. What I am big on is acceptance.

If someone crosses me I CAN forgive them, but only if I believe that they are truly repentant and I can see an actual change in behaviour / attitude, but in my experience this is so rare it’s like looking for a unicorn.

For this reason forgiveness, IMO, is about others and their attitudes. Acceptance is about me and where I go from here.

So what do I mean by acceptance?

Don’t for a second think I’m talking about tolerating people shitting on me; nothing could be further from the truth. I’m talking about seeing the situation for what it is, accepting it and moving on.

You speak of horrendous things that have happened to you, and I suspect the details of these things are more than you can express to others, especially on a website of strangers. I was about to say I feel your pain, but I don’t. I can’t begin to understand what you’re going through even though I have pain of my own.

MGTOW is about putting this pain behind us. It is about looking forward instead of back. Acceptance of the shit that has gone before, putting it in context; that you were not at fault, others were, and moving forward as a new man is our basis.

Or maybe we were at fault but have changed our ways, the basis for forgiveness.

At first this may seem like just more platitudes or clichés, but as you go forward you will realise that the deeds of others are on them. Don’t let them define your actions or who you are.

MGTOW – Men GOING THEIR OWN WAY!

OP, first of everything: do not get off your medication. I've seen in this "scene" people are critical towards psych meds. And rightfully so. But in your case you depend on them.
Now, how to get rid of anger and hatred? By acknowledging them in you. Acknowledge those energies are within you. They are within us all. By doing that you "detach" yourself from those energies. See they are part of you and you are not the hatred/ anger. That way you can let them burn out. Allow them to "be" in you but don't act to it. See them as a fire raging in you, while you observe the fire. Sooner or later the fire will die out.
If you resist them: "I shouldn't hate and I'm a loser because I hate!!!" That's fueling the fire. Trying to ignore it won't help. Just acknowledge it.
Hatred is the lowest form of caring. That's right: you still care for the people who did you wrong. In a negative way but still care.
Give it time brother. Let the fire die out. Yes, it'll take time but eventually you'll see the hatred being replaced with indifference. Those moments of indifference will be brief at first and the fire will flare up. But the indifference moments will last longer and longer. And the flares will be lesser and lesser.
That's how I got rid of hatred and anger. The books of Tolle were my first big revelation in my life. The Red Pill my second. His teachings made my red pill rage lasts for like 2 days. I acknowledged it, let it burn out swiftly to get to acceptance asap.
And welcome here. Thank you for bringing your heart to us. You are so unimaginably welcome.

Originally Posted by frog

A lot of us figure we're over hating women, and on the surface, it looks that way. But hate don't always go away. Many times, we cover it up and think it's gone but find out different when something triggers our memory's. Hate's powerful shit and not as easy to control as most people think.

What you need to realize though, is hating women don't accomplish a thing, the only one being hurt is yourself. Try to think of that the next time one pops your circuit breaker. One of Springsteen's old songs has a line that goes "you got to learn to live with what you can't rise above." I've tried to remember these words and they sometimes help. My family's had our share of hate, so I have some experience in this field.

Your problem is too big to stop all at once. But maybe if you can keep from brewing up every time someone sets you off, that would be a good start.

Most of us don't hate women, it's just indifference, being jaded regarding dating and not putting with their BS which gets misunderstood for hating by the masses.

Originally Posted by BlacknMGTOW

I’ve been abused by women (sexually, mentally, and physically) since the age of 5. I’ve been in therapy since and on psych meds since the age of 12. I’m 42 now. After reading the post here and checking out MGTOW videos, I seriously doubt MGTOW is for me. I tried the incel thing, but those guys are too racist and hateful towards Black men. I hate women, because of what they have done to me. I can’t let go of the hate. I have no idea where I belong in society. I’ve been detained for and released for DV more times than I can count. As soon as my mom shows a prosecutor a list of my mental disorders and how women abuse me, I’m immediately released. I have never gotten along with a woman outside of my family. I had to find a job that doesn’t have any women on my shift.

Question. (I know I’m all over the place. I’m bipolar, schizophrenic, OCD, and schizotypal so I can’t help it). How in the heck do you guys keep calm and not be angry?

I’m not a troll. I just have no idea what to do. I can’t take classes, (even online) because I don’t work well with groups. I’ve been expelled from several schools for threatening to bring gun. I got kicked out of my group therapy for attacking another client after he said something foul to me.

Hi BlacknMGTOW,

I can’t let go of the hate.

I just have no idea what to do.

Give it to God. He changes people. He changed me. I know of, and you can find on youtube, story after story of people who led very troubled lives but accepted Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior and the hate and anger was taken away, sometimes immediately and sometimes over time and prayer, but they were changed and oh so thankful. You can never go wrong with Jesus and you have everything to gain.

If you declare with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved. (Romans 10:9-10, NIV)

Make a sincere prayer to Jesus. If you don't know what to say, here is a suggested Salvation Prayer:

Dear Lord Jesus,
Thank you for dying on the cross for my sin. Please forgive me. Come into my life. I receive You as my Lord and Savior. Now, help me to live for you the rest of this life.
In the name of Jesus, I pray.
Amen.

Please note this is not you saying you are at fault for what has happened to you. You are asking to be cleansed of what it has done to you.

Start reading the Bible, if you don't. If you have a version of the Bible that you don't understand, get one that is understandable and easy to read. Begin by reading the Gospel of John, then read Acts. Don't be troubled about the things you read and do not understand. Trust the Holy Spirit to enlighten your mind and grant understanding. I recently started a practice of reading the Bible every night before I turn out the lights, then I pray. I found it's like they said, daily reading has a positive effect.

Please give your pain to God and let the Holy Spirit come into you. The hate will be removed.

Originally Posted by TheSilverShade

Most of us don't hate women, it's just indifference, being jaded regarding dating and not putting with their BS which gets misunderstood for hating by the masses.

I would like to think your right, least most of the time. In my case I thought I was beyond caring what a certain woman thought. Then the same old handwriting appeared in the mailbox. It had been over ten years, yet I recognized it straight off. Had she played her cards right, I might have fallen for her crap a second time. But thinking I hadn't changed, she decided she was in charge and was going to run my life. For once she didn't get her way.

The point to my dumb story is after all those years I thought the feelings were history. But they were not gone, only buried, and the letter from the past triggered them once again. I will say everyone's different, and this is one area where your mileage may vary. I hope so anyway.

Originally Posted by Unboxxed

Hi BlacknMGTOW,




Give it to God. He changes people. He changed me. I know of, and you can find on youtube, story after story of people who led very troubled lives but accepted Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior and the hate and anger was taken away, sometimes immediately and sometimes over time and prayer, but they were changed and oh so thankful. You can never go wrong with Jesus and you have everything to gain.

If you declare with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved. (Romans 10:9-10, NIV)

Make a sincere prayer to Jesus. If you don't know what to say, here is a suggested Salvation Prayer:

Dear Lord Jesus,
Thank you for dying on the cross for my sin. Please forgive me. Come into my life. I receive You as my Lord and Savior. Now, help me to live for you the rest of this life.
In the name of Jesus, I pray.
Amen.

Please note this is not you saying you are at fault for what has happened to you. You are asking to be cleansed of what it has done to you.

Start reading the Bible, if you don't. If you have a version of the Bible that you don't understand, get one that is understandable and easy to read. Begin by reading the Gospel of John, then read Acts. Don't be troubled about the things you read and do not understand. Trust the Holy Spirit to enlighten your mind and grant understanding. I recently started a practice of reading the Bible every night before I turn out the lights, then I pray. I found it's like they said, daily reading has a positive effect.

Please give your pain to God and let the Holy Spirit come into you. The hate will be removed.

Damn, Unboxxed went full evangelical. Hey, I'm an atheist but whatever works works. I can fully understand why a guy in prison would need something to hold onto.

I plan on hanging out at Muscle Beach gym in Venice on my off days. People tell me I have the physique to just chill at places like that.

Originally Posted by frog

A lot of us figure we're over hating women, and on the surface, it looks that way. But hate don't always go away. Many times, we cover it up and think it's gone but find out different when something triggers our memory's. Hate's powerful shit and not as easy to control as most people think.

What you need to realize though, is hating women don't accomplish a thing, the only one being hurt is yourself. Try to think of that the next time one pops your circuit breaker. One of Springsteen's old songs has a line that goes "you got to learn to live with what you can't rise above." I've tried to remember these words and they sometimes help. My family's had our share of hate, so I have some experience in this field.

Your problem is too big to stop all at once. But maybe if you can keep from brewing up every time someone sets you off, that would be a good start.

The hate may do a thing. It is to make us to avoid them (on any level)
The hate itself comes from interacting with them. You have to keep a minimal value of hate to keep avoiding them to keep the hate minimal.
(I call this the optimal cycle of MGTOW)

Originally Posted by mgtow2021

The hate may do a thing. It is to make us to avoid them (on any level)
The hate itself comes from interacting with them. You have to keep a minimal value of hate to keep avoiding them to keep the hate minimal.
(I call this the optimal cycle of MGTOW)

I don’t hate women to the point that I would randomly physically hurt one. I just hate them to the point that I avoid dealing with them unless I have no other options. I view women as predators and not as helpmates. I see them as my enemy. Do I always need to confront my enemy. No. I just avoid them.