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  1. #21
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    Re: I think I am too angry for MGTOW

    Quote Originally Posted by TigPlaze View Post
    It is possible to heal from pain, even very intense pain. Frog is right that hanging onto anger only hurts you. It is possible to forgive others and thus to free yourself. I'm the last person who would ever claim that is easy. I knew a man who was in a Nazi concentration camp. He was a kind man who had chosen to no longer hold any resentment toward those who had hurt him. I also saw info online about a man whose wife and daughter got killed in a car accident by a drunk driver. He chose to forgive the drunk rather than live with anger eating him up.

    I'm not saying you're obligated to forgive anyone. I'm only saying that it's an option. I can tell you it was a massive burden off my shoulders when I forgave my ex who had cheated on me and destroyed my life. I'm still a work in progress. There are still some people that I haven't let go of anger toward. But just remember, there is no quick fix that instantly makes everything all better. It's a process of building yourself up day by day.

    I was lucky to have a good therapist. When I talked with him about crap I had been through, it was the first time I had ever even talked about my pain with anyone. If you've got a good therapist, talk candidly about everything that's eating you. Consider forgiving those who have hurt you. Again, you're not obligated to, and you're not a bad person if you don't. However, I can testify that doing so is liberating.

    All the best to you, man. Thank you for speaking up. I believe better days are ahead for you.
    I donít see myself forgiving grown ass people. Iím severely mentally ill and I donít mess with people. I expect others to do the same (especially if theyíre not as sick as me). Basically, I donít have any sympathy or remorse for my abusers. They were probably abused and took out their hurt on me. I get abused, I mouth off, hit the gym, might say shit I shouldnít say, or etc. However, as a grown ass man, I have never sought someone who I thought was weaker than me and took out my pain on that person. I have no respect for those who abused me and hope someone kills them. Iím probably wrong for thinking like that, but it is what it is.

  2. #22
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    Re: I think I am too angry for MGTOW

    Quote Originally Posted by BlacknMGTOW View Post
    Iíve been abused by women (sexually, mentally, and physically) since the age of 5. Iíve been in therapy since and on psych meds since the age of 12. Iím 42 now. After reading the post here and checking out MGTOW videos, I seriously doubt MGTOW is for me. I tried the incel thing, but those guys are too racist and hateful towards Black men. I hate women, because of what they have done to me. I canít let go of the hate. I have no idea where I belong in society. Iíve been detained for and released for DV more times than I can count. As soon as my mom shows a prosecutor a list of my mental disorders and how women abuse me, Iím immediately released. I have never gotten along with a woman outside of my family. I had to find a job that doesnít have any women on my shift.

    Question. (I know Iím all over the place. Iím bipolar, schizophrenic, OCD, and schizotypal so I canít help it). How in the heck do you guys keep calm and not be angry?

    Iím not a troll. I just have no idea what to do. I canít take classes, (even online) because I donít work well with groups. Iíve been expelled from several schools for threatening to bring gun. I got kicked out of my group therapy for attacking another client after he said something foul to me.
    I've been reading your thread, and I can understand where you're coming from. You took a lot of abuse in the past, but you've handled it and set up a life and an environment where you can relax and be yourself. That's healthy. But meanwhile it sounds like you're still in the process of healing up from the old abuse, and you're still registering the red pill rage (RPR). And when you're exposed to a lot discussion about women and the abusive things they do, it starts bringing up the old abuse and fears and RPR still haunting around inside you.

    So yeah, maybe this isn't a good place for you. MGTOW discussion boards tend to discuss women and their abuses to help out men who are still living under the thumb of an abusive wife or ex and provide them advice toward escaping such situations. Or they talk about the latest abuses by women in order to figure out strategies for handling them.

    What you probably need is an environment where MGTOW people just talk about building their lives and don't talk about women at all. But that's pretty rare. I don't know, maybe there are some "MGTOW monk" discussion groups like that somewhere.

    Or you can stay here and read the discussions about women as a way of strengthening yourself and inoculating yourself against the gynocentric society that surrounds you.

    Anyway, I sympathize. I can see where it must be a pain in the ass to find a community that won't trigger the old fears and angers and RPR.

    Hang in there. All the best!

  3. #23

    Re: I think I am too angry for MGTOW

    Many of us have been angry and bitter in the beginning. It is called "the red pill rage" for that reason. You finding out you have been lied to your whole life and manipulated by the same people that claimed to love you unconditionally, hurts a lot. And it should hurt and anger you. You are human like the rest of us. Your reaction is normal. With time you should either learn how to deal with anger and let it go or learn how to cope with it. If you don't do either you will have a hard time moving on.

    For me meditation helped a lot. Reading about psychology and learning why others act that way helped me the most.

    You are not too angry for mgtow. Work hard and you will get trough it.

  4. #24
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    Re: I think I am too angry for MGTOW

    Sir, you are strong.

    Stronger than you know.

    You see the cycle of abuse and have chosen to break that cycle. Much kudos to you for that, it takes a lot. I know because there is one I came across that I will take great jollies from seeing her pass. My only hope is that I outlive her and get to enjoy the moment, though at this stage I’ll probably never know should it come to pass, but I can dream.

    Reflection can make us think we’re wrong for feeling this way and maybe we are, but as you say it is what it is.

    There’s nothing wrong with having feelings of animosity; acting on those feelings is an entirely different matter. But you already know this and this is why you are possibly feeling conflicted.

    As for Unboxxeds solution of seeking peace through religion, I’m atheist so I can’t get totally on-board, but if it works for you then I say go for it.

    Accept that what was is what it was. Today is the first day of another life for you. Another platitude I admit, but if you keep repeating it in your thoughts day after day, moment after moment life gradually improves until you get to the point of looking back and thinking: What the hell was I so concerned about, my life is good now and fuck those that tried to screw me over.

    As for the thread title “I think I’m too angry for MGTOW” I say nay. I think you’re in exactly the right place.

  5. #25
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    Re: I think I am too angry for MGTOW

    Quote Originally Posted by Jackoff View Post
    Sir, you are strong.

    Stronger than you know.

    You see the cycle of abuse and have chosen to break that cycle. Much kudos to you for that, it takes a lot. I know because there is one I came across that I will take great jollies from seeing her pass. My only hope is that I outlive her and get to enjoy the moment, though at this stage I’ll probably never know should it come to pass, but I can dream.

    Reflection can make us think we’re wrong for feeling this way and maybe we are, but as you say it is what it is.

    There’s nothing wrong with having feelings of animosity; acting on those feelings is an entirely different matter. But you already know this and this is why you are possibly feeling conflicted.

    As for Unboxxeds solution of seeking peace through religion, I’m atheist so I can’t get totally on-board, but if it works for you then I say go for it.

    Accept that what was is what it was. Today is the first day of another life for you. Another platitude I admit, but if you keep repeating it in your thoughts day after day, moment after moment life gradually improves until you get to the point of looking back and thinking: What the hell was I so concerned about, my life is good now and fuck those that tried to screw me over.

    As for the thread title “I think I’m too angry for MGTOW” I say nay. I think you’re in exactly the right place.
    Thatís exactly why I canít forgive my abusers. My abusers had the same tools I had in order to deal with pain. Instead of abusing someone weaker than me, I sought out help. I have zero respect for my abusers and I hope someone kills them. Itís not out of revenge. Itís so they canít harm anyone else. It ainít that hard to simply leave someone alone. Before I made the decision to cut women out of my life, I was rejected by a woman. Instead of her stringing me alone in order to abuse me, she simply said she was only interested in a friendship. I already knew what that meant. I cut off all contact with her immediately. I didnít even hate her for it. Women donít like me for whatever reason. The reason changes like they change their panties. Itís always something. I learned to accept the fact that no matter what I do, a woman will never accept me as a human being. It is what it is. Itís messed up, but thatís life.

  6. #26
    Senior Member mgtower's Avatar
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    Re: I think I am too angry for MGTOW

    Quote Originally Posted by BlacknMGTOW View Post
    That’s exactly why I can’t forgive my abusers. My abusers had the same tools I had in order to deal with pain. Instead of abusing someone weaker than me, I sought out help. I have zero respect for my abusers and I hope someone kills them. It’s not out of revenge. It’s so they can’t harm anyone else. It ain’t that hard to simply leave someone alone. Before I made the decision to cut women out of my life, I was rejected by a woman. Instead of her stringing me alone in order to abuse me, she simply said she was only interested in a friendship. I already knew what that meant. I cut off all contact with her immediately. I didn’t even hate her for it. Women don’t like me for whatever reason. The reason changes like they change their panties. It’s always something. I learned to accept the fact that no matter what I do, a woman will never accept me as a human being. It is what it is. It’s messed up, but that’s life.
    I got news for you! They don't like each other and especially don't like themselves! Why else would the wall do so much damage to them! They become mental and physical trash heaps! Fucked in the head and BEYOND!
    Corruption, like low tide, lowers all boats and smashes their hulls on the rocks.

  7. #27
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    Re: I think I am too angry for MGTOW

    Quote Originally Posted by Unboxxed View Post
    Hi BlacknMGTOW,




    Give it to God. He changes people. He changed me. I know of, and you can find on youtube, story after story of people who led very troubled lives but accepted Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior and the hate and anger was taken away, sometimes immediately and sometimes over time and prayer, but they were changed and oh so thankful. You can never go wrong with Jesus and you have everything to gain.

    If you declare with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved. (Romans 10:9-10, NIV)

    Make a sincere prayer to Jesus. If you don't know what to say, here is a suggested Salvation Prayer:

    Dear Lord Jesus,
    Thank you for dying on the cross for my sin. Please forgive me. Come into my life. I receive You as my Lord and Savior. Now, help me to live for you the rest of this life.
    In the name of Jesus, I pray.
    Amen.


    Please note this is not you saying you are at fault for what has happened to you. You are asking to be cleansed of what it has done to you.

    Start reading the Bible, if you don't. If you have a version of the Bible that you don't understand, get one that is understandable and easy to read. Begin by reading the Gospel of John, then read Acts. Don't be troubled about the things you read and do not understand. Trust the Holy Spirit to enlighten your mind and grant understanding. I recently started a practice of reading the Bible every night before I turn out the lights, then I pray. I found it's like they said, daily reading has a positive effect.

    Please give your pain to God and let the Holy Spirit come into you. The hate will be removed.
    That is a very powerful testimony, Uboxxed. As a life-long Christian it strengthens my faith to read a testimonial like yours.

    @BlacknMGTOW, If you're staring at the words in Unboxxed's little prayer and think that you don't have enough faith to believe them completely but can and do say them to yourself, do not despair! Jesus said that a smoldering wick he would not extinguish nor a bruised reed would he break meaning that even the weakest of faith would be given his full attention and that he will send his Holy Spirit to build upon that small kernel of faith with teaching and guidance.

    Do understand this, the grace of God will overcome all of your anger. Even as a life-long Christian I had much anger for too long and that has been replaced by peace that surpasses all understanding. I won't sugar coat it, this is a long road this road of healing but I think you have already made the first very crucial steps by starting this thread.

    I pray for you, man.
    ďAssociate yourself with men of good quality if you esteem your own reputation; for it is better to be alone than in bad company.Ē Ė George Washington

  8. #28
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    Re: I think I am too angry for MGTOW

    Quote Originally Posted by BlacknMGTOW View Post
    That’s exactly why I can’t forgive my abusers. My abusers had the same tools I had in order to deal with pain. Instead of abusing someone weaker than me, I sought out help. I have zero respect for my abusers and I hope someone kills them. It’s not out of revenge. It’s so they can’t harm anyone else. It ain’t that hard to simply leave someone alone. Before I made the decision to cut women out of my life, I was rejected by a woman. Instead of her stringing me alone in order to abuse me, she simply said she was only interested in a friendship. I already knew what that meant. I cut off all contact with her immediately. I didn’t even hate her for it. Women don’t like me for whatever reason. The reason changes like they change their panties. It’s always something. I learned to accept the fact that no matter what I do, a woman will never accept me as a human being. It is what it is. It’s messed up, but that’s life.
    If someone has mistreated you, then you never really forgive them. But it's possible to move on past it and let time heal the wounds.

    It's okay to wish ill upon people. There's a term called "schadenfreude." It means taking pleasure in another person's misfortune. If someone has done you harm, it's perfectly natural to wish bad things upon them and then to enjoy their misfortune when they stumble and fall.

    When the German poet Heinrich Heine dreamed of the good life, he imagined this: "A humble cottage with a thatched roof, but a good bed, good food, the freshest milk and butter, flowers before my window, and a few fine trees before my door; and if God wants to make my happiness complete, he will grant me the joy of seeing some six or seven of my enemies hanging from those trees."

    Heinrich Heine was joking, of course. But he was also implying that it's normal human nature to wish ill upon our enemies.

    Of course, in modern times you can't go around randomly taking revenge on your enemies. About the best you can do these days is to cut your enemies out of your life: Move away, refuse to interact with them, or whatever.

    However, if you have taken a lot of abuse, then you still have to deal with all the negativity built up inside of you. After all, you don't want to be permanently on the run, permanently hating, permanently fearing. So you get around all that fear and hatred by building a new life without your enemies in it and by embracing a new vision of what you want to achieve.

    If you succeed in breaking off contact with your enemies and succeed in embracing a new way forward with your life that doesn't include them, eventually the hate and the fear will start to dissipate. You've moved past them. You have a new vision for your life, and your enemies simply aren't a part of that vision. You go long periods of your life without thinking of your enemies. And when you are reminded of them, it becomes easier and easier to say to yourself, "You know, I'm not even going to worry about that stuff. That's in the past."

    To sum it all up: You never really forgive the people who abused you. But it is possible to outflank them, move around them, leave them behind, and little by little forget about them. Or at least outgrow the hate and the fear.
    Last edited by MGTOWLife; July 25, 2022 at 12:59 AM.

  9. #29

    Re: I think I am too angry for MGTOW

    There is an Italian saying from Sicily, it goes like that: Respect and justice can only be obtained by a man himself.

    If the state is no longer able or willing to keep women in check, men will start to solve this problem. Cause and effect. Simple.

  10. #30
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    Re: I think I am too angry for MGTOW

    Quote Originally Posted by BlacknMGTOW View Post
    I donít hate women to the point that I would randomly physically hurt one. I just hate them to the point that I avoid dealing with them unless I have no other options. I view women as predators and not as helpmates. I see them as my enemy. Do I always need to confront my enemy. No. I just avoid them.
    we call that being cautious. if we really hated women, some of us wouldn't bother to have a girlfriend or a wife before going mgtow and we wouldn't be talking about women

    It's ironic cause when we talk and criticize women, people say we're misogynist, incels....and throw all kinds of names. They don't realize if we really hated women we wouldn't be wasting our time talking about them and they would bitch about something else then...they always find something else.

  11. #31
    Senior Member MGTOWFOREVER's Avatar
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    Re: I think I am too angry for MGTOW

    Quote Originally Posted by BlacknMGTOW View Post
    Iíve been abused by women (sexually, mentally, and physically) since the age of 5. Iíve been in therapy since and on psych meds since the age of 12. Iím 42 now. After reading the post here and checking out MGTOW videos, I seriously doubt MGTOW is for me. I tried the incel thing, but those guys are too racist and hateful towards Black men. I hate women, because of what they have done to me. I canít let go of the hate. I have no idea where I belong in society. Iíve been detained for and released for DV more times than I can count. As soon as my mom shows a prosecutor a list of my mental disorders and how women abuse me, Iím immediately released. I have never gotten along with a woman outside of my family. I had to find a job that doesnít have any women on my shift.

    Question. (I know Iím all over the place. Iím bipolar, schizophrenic, OCD, and schizotypal so I canít help it). How in the heck do you guys keep calm and not be angry?

    Iím not a troll. I just have no idea what to do. I canít take classes, (even online) because I donít work well with groups. Iíve been expelled from several schools for threatening to bring gun. I got kicked out of my group therapy for attacking another client after he said something foul to me.
    You are going through red pill rage. Your eyes have opened to the injustice. You are sick of being treated unfairly while others can shit wherever they want.

    The best advice I can give you is to take care of you. Don't worry about others. Hatred only harms you. Why waste your time and energy hating someone who doesn't give a flying f**k about you? What you are doing is drinking poison and expecting others to feel the effects. Think of people as broken objects. Get rid of them. Toss them out without a 2nd thought. I use to be the ultimate people pleaser. The word NO didn't exist. Always ready to lend a helping hand or give a few bucks down to someone down on their luck. Not anymore. Women used me up , abandoned me, and only called me when they wanted something. Did I ever get paid back? Of course not. Men were no better except a few did pay me back. The women talked about me behind my back and I was considered "weak" to them. I refuse to help anyone except in emergency situations. And I do mean EMERGENCY situations only that need police, emts, or fire department otherwise go ask your "he's not a bad looking guy" Alpha Tyrones , Chads, Brads, Ray Ray, Pookie, Julio, Mike, Chris, Tommy, etc.

    Please be kind to yourself. Once I started learning to say "No. F**k off" life became better. I never realized how much time, money, and resources I was giving away to people who didn't give a damn about me.
    Stay away from women. They will only break your heart.

  12. #32
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    Re: I think I am too angry for MGTOW

    To quote myself from an earlier post:

    Quote Originally Posted by MGTOWLife View Post
    To sum it all up: You never really forgive the people who abused you.
    I just want to clarify a couple points...

    Forgiveness
    Forgiveness is good when someone close to you (a co-worker, a family member) has screwed up in some minor way, and you want to get past the problem and resume good relations with that person. So you tell them what the problem is, work it out together, and forgive. And maybe you keep a close eye on that other person in similar situations in the future.

    But Forgiveness is tougher when it involves a really toxic person who has done you a really grievous harm, or when the problem is something like red pill rage (RPR), where society simply doesn't accept you for reasons beyond your control. You try to address the problem with Forgiveness or self-improvement, but nothing you do seems to help. And eventually you start to realize it's because the other side is using a bad script. You increasingly realize that you basically just need to hunker down and cover your ass.

    Letting it go
    If the problem is big and Forgiveness doesn't work, then the best solution is to "Let it go": Cut the problem out of your life as much as possible, and redesign your life so that you can live a good and fulfilling life without that person or problem: Embrace a new vision of your life without that problem in it. This is essentially the message of MGTOW: Go your own way = Letting it go. You let go of society's dysfunction and live your best life on your own terms. As they say, "Living well is the best revenge." You don't forgive; you just move on.

    Rumination
    However, it may take some self-discipline to "Let it go." When faced with a problem, humans like to analyze the problem and try to solve it. But if the problem is too big to be solved, analysis can turn into something harmful that psychologists call "rumination": You brood on a problem so long that you become trapped by it. You find that you can't just walk away from it; your analysis function keeps trying to solve the problem, and you brood and ruminate and brood and ruminate until it's out of control. And it can lead to anxiety, rage, and depression. That's a big part of what drives people into red pill rage.

    But there are a couple tools that help.

    Brain dump
    Sometimes people hang onto a long-running problem because it's complex and detailed and may come up again later. They're afraid that if they just drop the problem and walk away from it, it will rear its ugly head in some new form at a later date and they'll have to start from scratch all over again with it. So they ruminate in order to keep refreshing the details in their head in order to be prepared when the problem crops up again. But the way to fix that is to do a "brain dump." Just write down all the details of the problem onto a few sheets of paper (or many sheets of paper, if necessary) and capture the problem on paper. Then file the papers away someplace secure, and walk away and forget about the problem. Live your life problem-free. Then, if the problem crops up anew later, break out your notes and use them to get back up to speed on how to handle it.

    Journaling
    Another version of the "brain dump" is called "journaling": Writing out what's bugging you in a journal each day. If you can get the problem down on paper, then you don't have to carry it around in your head all the time: You can "Let it go." Message boarding is a type of "journaling." You talk about your problems with others on a message board, and it helps get the problem out of your head and onto the message board where others can see it and maybe help with it. From that you get MGTOW message boards and people bitching about how society has screwed them over. All that bitching and griping is actually a healthy process when it's done productively, with the aim of coping and finding solutions: It's a variant of "journaling."

    Living in the moment; mindfulness
    "Living in the moment" and "mindfulness" are fancy psychological terms for "Don't brood and ruminate on your problems. Instead, do something interesting and fun and focus your attention on that." In other words, you can break the rumination cycle by simply directing your attention away from your problems and onto something more fun or interesting or challenging. Getting drunk or high is one way to do that, but you don't want to overdo that stuff. Better to take up a hobby or an interesting new challenge: Hitting the gym or restoring some old furniture or buying a motorcycle and doing fun day trips. As I said above: Cut the problem out of your life as much as possible, and redesign your life so that you can live a good and fulfilling life without that person or problem. That's "living in the moment" or "mindfulness."

    And if your problems keep popping into your mind during the day, learn some meditation techniques so that you can empty your mind quickly whenever you want. Just calm yourself and recite your mantra or imagine yourself relaxing on a beach. That's also a quickie type of "living in the moment" or "mindfulness": Consciously re-directing your attention to focus on something other than your problem.

    Other "Letting it go" techniques
    There are other techniques that can also help you "Let it go." For example:
    --"Taking the long view": You ask yourself, "Will this problem really matter to me 10 years from now?"
    --The "friend" approach: "What would I advise a friend who had this problem?"
    --The cost/benefit analysis
    --And so on. A lot of these techniques fall under the heading of Cognitive Therapy. See "Cognitive therapy" at Wikipedia and look under the section "Cognitive restructuring (methods)".

    Summary
    All these issues (rumination, brain dumps, journaling, living in the moment, Cognitive therapy) basically fall under the heading of "Letting it go." And when it comes to problems like RPR, I think "Letting it go" is more fruitful and productive than trying to practice Forgiveness. In other words, Forgiveness works best for small problems, whereas big problems require bigger solutions that affect your entire life: Letting it go.

    Just my two cents, of course. I'm not a shrink. Just my amateur opinion based on self-help books and personal experience.
    Last edited by MGTOWLife; July 26, 2022 at 6:28 AM.

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    Re: I think I am too angry for MGTOW

    Quote Originally Posted by MGTOWFOREVER View Post
    And I do mean EMERGENCY situations only that need police, emts, or fire department otherwise go ask your "he's not a bad looking guy" Alpha Tyrones , Chads, Brads, Ray Ray, Pookie, Julio, Mike, Chris, Tommy, etc.
    I wouldnít even help them in an emergency situation. Tyrone or chad can dial 911. Since women think Iím stupid, Iím going to be too stupid to know how to dial 911 or *9 when something happens to them.

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    Re: I think I am too angry for MGTOW

    Quote Originally Posted by MGTOWFOREVER View Post
    You are going through red pill rage. Your eyes have opened to the injustice. You are sick of being treated unfairly while others can shit wherever they want.

    The best advice I can give you is to take care of you. Don't worry about others. Hatred only harms you. Why waste your time and energy hating someone who doesn't give a flying f**k about you? What you are doing is drinking poison and expecting others to feel the effects. Think of people as broken objects. Get rid of them. Toss them out without a 2nd thought. I use to be the ultimate people pleaser. The word NO didn't exist. Always ready to lend a helping hand or give a few bucks down to someone down on their luck. Not anymore. Women used me up , abandoned me, and only called me when they wanted something. Did I ever get paid back? Of course not. Men were no better except a few did pay me back. The women talked about me behind my back and I was considered "weak" to them. I refuse to help anyone except in emergency situations. And I do mean EMERGENCY situations only that need police, emts, or fire department otherwise go ask your "he's not a bad looking guy" Alpha Tyrones , Chads, Brads, Ray Ray, Pookie, Julio, Mike, Chris, Tommy, etc.

    Please be kind to yourself. Once I started learning to say "No. F**k off" life became better. I never realized how much time, money, and resources I was giving away to people who didn't give a damn about me.
    The funny thing is that I am built like an alpha Tyrone and have the same rage problems like someone who is on anabolic steroids. I still wonít lift a finger to help a woman who is in distress. I view most women as toxic and Iím extremely prejudice towards them, because of how they treat me.

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    Re: I think I am too angry for MGTOW

    Quote Originally Posted by MGTOWFOREVER View Post
    You are going through red pill rage. Your eyes have opened to the injustice. You are sick of being treated unfairly while others can shit wherever they want.

    The best advice I can give you is to take care of you. Don't worry about others. Hatred only harms you. Why waste your time and energy hating someone who doesn't give a flying f**k about you? What you are doing is drinking poison and expecting others to feel the effects. Think of people as broken objects. Get rid of them. Toss them out without a 2nd thought. I use to be the ultimate people pleaser. The word NO didn't exist. Always ready to lend a helping hand or give a few bucks down to someone down on their luck. Not anymore. Women used me up , abandoned me, and only called me when they wanted something. Did I ever get paid back? Of course not. Men were no better except a few did pay me back. The women talked about me behind my back and I was considered "weak" to them. I refuse to help anyone except in emergency situations. And I do mean EMERGENCY situations only that need police, emts, or fire department otherwise go ask your "he's not a bad looking guy" Alpha Tyrones , Chads, Brads, Ray Ray, Pookie, Julio, Mike, Chris, Tommy, etc.

    Please be kind to yourself. Once I started learning to say "No. F**k off" life became better. I never realized how much time, money, and resources I was giving away to people who didn't give a damn about me.
    Quote Originally Posted by WheelBarrow View Post
    That is a very powerful testimony, Uboxxed. As a life-long Christian it strengthens my faith to read a testimonial like yours.

    @BlacknMGTOW, If you're staring at the words in Unboxxed's little prayer and think that you don't have enough faith to believe them completely but can and do say them to yourself, do not despair! Jesus said that a smoldering wick he would not extinguish nor a bruised reed would he break meaning that even the weakest of faith would be given his full attention and that he will send his Holy Spirit to build upon that small kernel of faith with teaching and guidance.

    Do understand this, the grace of God will overcome all of your anger. Even as a life-long Christian I had much anger for too long and that has been replaced by peace that surpasses all understanding. I won't sugar coat it, this is a long road this road of healing but I think you have already made the first very crucial steps by starting this thread.

    I pray for you, man.
    I was raised to be a Christian, but there is a conflict. My family is strict when it comes to Christianity to the point that they ignored my problems. I had an early sex addiction (at the age of 11). Even people at my church tried to tell my parents I needed help. If my parents werenít so close minded, I wouldnít have the problems I have now. I believe in Christianity, but it is extremely flawed when it comes to addictions. I eventually grew up to have addictions to pills in order to substitute for the lack of sex. Iím all f$&ked up.

  16. #36

    Re: I think I am too angry for MGTOW

    Quote Originally Posted by MGTOWLife View Post
    To quote myself from an earlier post:



    I just want to clarify a couple points...

    Forgiveness
    Forgiveness is good when someone close to you (a co-worker, a family member) has screwed up in some minor way, and you want to get past the problem and resume good relations with that person. So you tell them what the problem is, work it out together, and forgive. And maybe you keep a close eye on that other person in similar situations in the future.

    But Forgiveness is tougher when it involves a really toxic person who has done you a really grievous harm, or when the problem is something like red pill rage (RPR), where society simply doesn't accept you for reasons beyond your control. You try to address the problem with Forgiveness or self-improvement, but nothing you do seems to help. And eventually you start to realize it's because the other side is using a bad script. You increasingly realize that you basically just need to hunker down and cover your ass.

    Letting it go
    If the problem is big and Forgiveness doesn't work, then the best solution is to "Let it go": Cut the problem out of your life as much as possible, and redesign your life so that you can live a good and fulfilling life without that person or problem: Embrace a new vision of your life without that problem in it. This is essentially the message of MGTOW: Go your own way = Letting it go. You let go of society's dysfunction and live your best life on your own terms. As they say, "Living well is the best revenge." You don't forgive; you just move on.

    Rumination
    However, it may take some self-discipline to "Let it go." When faced with a problem, humans like to analyze the problem and try to solve it. But if the problem is too big to be solved, analysis can turn into something harmful that psychologists call "rumination": You brood on a problem so long that you become trapped by it. You find that you can't just walk away from it; your analysis function keeps trying to solve the problem, and you brood and ruminate and brood and ruminate until it's out of control. And it can lead to anxiety, rage, and depression. That's a big part of what drives people into red pill rage.

    But there are a couple tools that help.

    Brain dump
    Sometimes people hang onto a long-running problem because it's complex and detailed and may come up again later. They're afraid that if they just drop the problem and walk away from it, it will rear its ugly head in some new form at a later date and they'll have to start from scratch all over again with it. So they ruminate in order to keep refreshing the details in their head in order to be prepared when the problem crops up again. But the way to fix that is to do a "brain dump." Just write down all the details of the problem onto a few sheets of paper (or many sheets of paper, if necessary) and capture the problem on paper. Then file the papers away someplace secure, and walk away and forget about the problem. Live your life problem-free. Then, if the problem crops up anew later, break out your notes and use them to get back up to speed on how to handle it.

    Journaling
    Another version of the "brain dump" is called "journaling": Writing out what's bugging you in a journal each day. If you can get the problem down on paper, then you don't have to carry it around in your head all the time: You can "Let it go." Message boarding is a type of "journaling." You talk about your problems with others on a message board, and it helps get the problem out of your head and onto the message board where others can see it and maybe help with it. From that you get MGTOW message boards and people bitching about how society has screwed them over. All that bitching and griping is actually a healthy process when it's done productively, with the aim of coping and finding solutions: It's a variant of "journaling."

    Living in the moment; mindfulness
    "Living in the moment" and "mindfulness" are fancy psychological terms for "Don't brood and ruminate on your problems. Instead, do something interesting and fun and focus your attention on that." In other words, you can break the rumination cycle by simply directing your attention away from your problems and onto something more fun or interesting or challenging. Getting drunk or high is one way to do that, but you don't want to overdo that stuff. Better to take up a hobby or an interesting new challenge: Hitting the gym or restoring some old furniture or buying a motorcycle and doing fun day trips. As I said above: Cut the problem out of your life as much as possible, and redesign your life so that you can live a good and fulfilling life without that person or problem. That's "living in the moment" or "mindfulness."

    And if your problems keep popping into your mind during the day, learn some meditation techniques so that you can empty your mind quickly whenever you want. Just calm yourself and recite your mantra or imagine yourself relaxing on a beach. That's also a quickie type of "living in the moment" or "mindfulness": Consciously re-directing your attention to focus on something other than your problem.

    Other "Letting it go" techniques
    There are other techniques that can also help you "Let it go." For example:
    --"Taking the long view": You ask yourself, "Will this problem really matter to me 10 years from now?"
    --The "friend" approach: "What would I advise a friend who had this problem?"
    --The cost/benefit analysis
    --And so on. A lot of these techniques fall under the heading of Cognitive Therapy. See "Cognitive therapy" at Wikipedia and look under the section "Cognitive restructuring (methods)".

    Summary
    All these issues (rumination, brain dumps, journaling, living in the moment, Cognitive therapy) basically fall under the heading of "Letting it go." And when it comes to problems like RPR, I think "Letting it go" is more fruitful and productive than trying to practice Forgiveness. In other words, Forgiveness works best for small problems, whereas big problems require bigger solutions that affect your entire life: Letting it go.

    Just my two cents, of course. I'm not a shrink. Just my amateur opinion based on self-help books and personal experience.
    This is one of the best posts Iíve seen on this board.

    Handing out ďforgivenessĒ like itís candy on Halloween, with no amends made by the offending party is not productive. Why should someone (in my case a wife of 21 years who one day ups and leaves while having an affair with a co-worker) get a free pass or ďforgivenessĒ, and then just continue on with her monkey branching, cheating ways with no regard for her kids?? I, for one, will NEVER forgive my ex for what she did to me, and especially my kids lives. So Iíve made myself, and tried to help my daughters, move on using many of these techniques.

    This, along with the passage of time (itís been 7 years already), and adopting a MGTOW life plan have put me in a much better place now than when I was a BP simp, living my life to appease Princess, just so I could have access to that smelly hole 3 or 4 times a year.

    Also, The passage of time factor is one that canít be underestimated. Clichťs aside, it really does heal wounds.

  17. #37
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    Re: I think I am too angry for MGTOW

    Quote Originally Posted by MGTOWLife View Post
    To quote myself from an earlier post:



    I just want to clarify a couple points...

    Forgiveness
    Forgiveness is good when someone close to you (a co-worker, a family member) has screwed up in some minor way, and you want to get past the problem and resume good relations with that person. So you tell them what the problem is, work it out together, and forgive. And maybe you keep a close eye on that other person in similar situations in the future.

    But Forgiveness is tougher when it involves a really toxic person who has done you a really grievous harm, or when the problem is something like red pill rage (RPR), where society simply doesn't accept you for reasons beyond your control. You try to address the problem with Forgiveness or self-improvement, but nothing you do seems to help. And eventually you start to realize it's because the other side is using a bad script. You increasingly realize that you basically just need to hunker down and cover your ass.

    Letting it go
    If the problem is big and Forgiveness doesn't work, then the best solution is to "Let it go": Cut the problem out of your life as much as possible, and redesign your life so that you can live a good and fulfilling life without that person or problem: Embrace a new vision of your life without that problem in it. This is essentially the message of MGTOW: Go your own way = Letting it go. You let go of society's dysfunction and live your best life on your own terms. As they say, "Living well is the best revenge." You don't forgive; you just move on.

    Rumination
    However, it may take some self-discipline to "Let it go." When faced with a problem, humans like to analyze the problem and try to solve it. But if the problem is too big to be solved, analysis can turn into something harmful that psychologists call "rumination": You brood on a problem so long that you become trapped by it. You find that you can't just walk away from it; your analysis function keeps trying to solve the problem, and you brood and ruminate and brood and ruminate until it's out of control. And it can lead to anxiety, rage, and depression. That's a big part of what drives people into red pill rage.

    But there are a couple tools that help.

    Brain dump
    Sometimes people hang onto a long-running problem because it's complex and detailed and may come up again later. They're afraid that if they just drop the problem and walk away from it, it will rear its ugly head in some new form at a later date and they'll have to start from scratch all over again with it. So they ruminate in order to keep refreshing the details in their head in order to be prepared when the problem crops up again. But the way to fix that is to do a "brain dump." Just write down all the details of the problem onto a few sheets of paper (or many sheets of paper, if necessary) and capture the problem on paper. Then file the papers away someplace secure, and walk away and forget about the problem. Live your life problem-free. Then, if the problem crops up anew later, break out your notes and use them to get back up to speed on how to handle it.

    Journaling
    Another version of the "brain dump" is called "journaling": Writing out what's bugging you in a journal each day. If you can get the problem down on paper, then you don't have to carry it around in your head all the time: You can "Let it go." Message boarding is a type of "journaling." You talk about your problems with others on a message board, and it helps get the problem out of your head and onto the message board where others can see it and maybe help with it. From that you get MGTOW message boards and people bitching about how society has screwed them over. All that bitching and griping is actually a healthy process when it's done productively, with the aim of coping and finding solutions: It's a variant of "journaling."

    Living in the moment; mindfulness
    "Living in the moment" and "mindfulness" are fancy psychological terms for "Don't brood and ruminate on your problems. Instead, do something interesting and fun and focus your attention on that." In other words, you can break the rumination cycle by simply directing your attention away from your problems and onto something more fun or interesting or challenging. Getting drunk or high is one way to do that, but you don't want to overdo that stuff. Better to take up a hobby or an interesting new challenge: Hitting the gym or restoring some old furniture or buying a motorcycle and doing fun day trips. As I said above: Cut the problem out of your life as much as possible, and redesign your life so that you can live a good and fulfilling life without that person or problem. That's "living in the moment" or "mindfulness."

    And if your problems keep popping into your mind during the day, learn some meditation techniques so that you can empty your mind quickly whenever you want. Just calm yourself and recite your mantra or imagine yourself relaxing on a beach. That's also a quickie type of "living in the moment" or "mindfulness": Consciously re-directing your attention to focus on something other than your problem.

    Other "Letting it go" techniques
    There are other techniques that can also help you "Let it go." For example:
    --"Taking the long view": You ask yourself, "Will this problem really matter to me 10 years from now?"
    --The "friend" approach: "What would I advise a friend who had this problem?"
    --The cost/benefit analysis
    --And so on. A lot of these techniques fall under the heading of Cognitive Therapy. See "Cognitive therapy" at Wikipedia and look under the section "Cognitive restructuring (methods)".

    Summary
    All these issues (rumination, brain dumps, journaling, living in the moment, Cognitive therapy) basically fall under the heading of "Letting it go." And when it comes to problems like RPR, I think "Letting it go" is more fruitful and productive than trying to practice Forgiveness. In other words, Forgiveness works best for small problems, whereas big problems require bigger solutions that affect your entire life: Letting it go.

    Just my two cents, of course. I'm not a shrink. Just my amateur opinion based on self-help books and personal experience.
    In a similar vein there's a thing I've done that I think of as dead letter syndrome. I'm no psychologist either but this made sense to me once or twice.

    I was angry. I wanted revenge. But more than that I wanted them to understand, not that they ever would. So I wrote them a letter. In this letter I explained everything, including the nasty shit. All the things I coudn't say in person because of interruptions and, perhaps more important because of social constraints that say "you can't say that!".

    And I got it all out of my system and was able to move on, mostly.

    Why do I think of it as a "Dead Letter Syndrome"?

    Because I never had any intention of posting it. It was just a way of relieving my angst and so allowing me to move past the issue. Much as may of us do here.


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