Thread: I have no desire for women anymore, because of my mother. I'll get laid, once in a while. But women in my life more than a fling, is not gonna happen.

I'm very angry right now.

I've been fatherless for all my life. I'm 30 now. I want to cut her off. There's no joy around a single mother. We have been having arguments because "i'm" this or that, or that I don't have a "work ethic".

When I was growing up, she made me do things and she wasn't even involved. I didn't like the work, and she killed any desire to make work fun. "The work". She doesn't even know how to instill desire for work, because I can do the work, but just without any fun.

Because without a father, she doesn't listen to my points. She's a terrible mother. She was overbearing when I was growing up. Look, I am grateful for her protection, but she is a terrible mother. I want someone to knock her off, and say keep your fucking mouth shut and listen. And no, I can't even do that, because it's "disrespectful".

In my opinion, single mothers have no fucking clue, how to take care of sons. I literally hate single mothers with a passion. I don't like them, I hate them for a lot of reasons. A lot of fucking reasons.

Ever since 2005, my mother been asking for back rubs, when I was 12, and I fucking hated it. I am not allowed to go to my friend's house, because she's concerned about who they are. Fuck, woman, you could have gone and find out and get to know them, so i can hang out with my friends. I hated my childhood. There was no fun.

If there was no father around, that's means mom in charge. That usually means unbalance leadership. YOU FUCKING NEED TWO PARENTS. Who ever thought having a single mother. is okay, doesn't deserve pity from me.

I'm a product of single mother. I hate it.

Since then, I left, She was asking for help around the house, every fucking time I come over. I'm like, what the fuck??? I just got here. I hate helping her, because she killed any desire for helping her. I told her why, and she still complains. Holy fuck, man. No responsibility whatsoever.

And she fucking needs me for shit. I said no. Then she claims I don't have a work ethic. Or that I don't care enough for my mom. Fucking bullshit. She don't even own up what she did to me, when I was growing up. She killed any desire when I was growing up. She just killed any fun. And then she proceeds to say, "that's life".

What the fuck. Then she wonders why I don't want to help her. I hate women so much, especially, single mothers.

I have been trying to do my plans for my own life, and she claims I don't have my work ethic. Bitch, I have been trying to have my own plans, and you fucking ruin it.

I do NOT FUCKING support single mothers. To me, because of my experience, they're disgusting, and deserve pain. There's no justice for sons who have single mothers.

I begged Jesus to give me Justice. And I don't feel like there's any justice for me at all.

Jordan Peterson mentioned that there's consequences for sons with over-protected moms. And I think he's right on that. I feel like i have no life because of her.

I have no desire to help any of my relatives, because they failed me. All they did. I refuse to give up on my goals. I will be voluntary celibate. I'm going to be a billionaire in my lifetime.

I have no desire to help my mother. What she needs to have a man, in her life. Because I have no desire to "help" her around the house, let a husband do that for her.

My family is an idiots for a lot of reasons. And it's fucked up. They might have money, but they don't have a good family structure. Not one bit. My grandfather failed my mother, and now she failed me.

(I will not fail my kids if I have kids. But i might not want kids, every time, I see kids, I have a hatred for kids. because of my mother. So I don't think I'll be a good father. So I'm not gonna have kids.) I will not be like my mother. But even then I refuse to have kids. I massively hate women. I have no desire for women, except when comes to get laid/sex.

Because of my mother, it's been a very, very, fucking slow progress. I see why Nicolas Tesla never had any wife. Why? Because women slow down progress. And my own mother is the very definition of slowing down my progress in life. I will never have a wife. I hate them so much.

I"m not interesting in helping women at all.

Women and my mother, killed any desire for them.


My mother is a failure in family. I'm not interest in having a family. And I prefer my freedom and money over women. I see no point in having families with women. All women do is slow down progress. .

I can relate in some ways. I have no desire to be with women. Why? All they do is use, abuse, and destroy me. My signature line says it all.

I am never lonely cause I have many things to keep me busy. A woman would just bitch and try to destroy my hobbies and likes.

Originally Posted by MGTOWFOREVER

I can relate in some ways. I have no desire to be with women. Why? All they do is use, abuse, and destroy me. My signature line says it all.

I am never lonely cause I have many things to keep me busy. A woman would just bitch and try to destroy my hobbies and likes.

I'm 30 now, so I have my freedom, But I never had any when I was a kid. Even when I was 16, my mother was a control freak. I couldn't get a job when I was 16! I wanted to make my mark on the world by myself! And I couldn't! All she said was I need to work on my education! Fuck mothers. I wanted to to start working when I was 16! I can make plans for my education when I was 16, and I could still make money. But no, she was a control freak too.

It's fucking hilarous. My mom told me when she was young her parents were control freak. And she couldn't have freedom, so she act out, and had me! Fucking stupid. What's a kid gonna do without a father?? Fucking stupid. And now the cycle is repeating itself: she's a control freak as well.

Well, I am breaking that fucking cycle. I'm not going to be a control freak, and I refuse to have children. My mom ruin that perspective in life.

My childhood wasn't always fun, but none of my family ever did anything that deserved cutting them off. Quite the opposite actually. But if they had burned me badly, I'd a thrown them out like an old shoe. Family means both sides hold up their end or it's off.

I'm keeping myself calm right now. I'm not giving up on my goals.

My mom was great, so I hate to see a guy give up. In the end though, it depends on mom. If your grown and she continues to play games, well you don't owe her a thing.

Rather than sit here and complain, which I don't argue is warranted, what are you planning to change things? What steps are you taking to distance yourself and make things better for you? You said you're 30, I assume you aren't living under her roof, and if you are how are you planning to get your own place so that you can have peace of mind at least? You mentioned a goal to be a billionaire but why don't you start small? Accumulated small victories often result in big things, in contrast setting your goals too high usually results in failure. Yea, your mom is all that and then some, but what are you doing on your end to make situations better for you?

I relate as well. My mother and her side of the family destroyed the family and damaged my relationship with my father. Women have no clue as to how to raise kids, especially boys.

In terms of desire for women, their looks just aren't enough. Even if I see one that looks good I almost immediately am reminded of their natures and the bullshit game I would have to play to talk to her. It's not worth it. Even pre MGTOW/Red Pill, I was never interested in lowering myself to play the game with them.

Originally Posted by UnKnownSurviving

I'm 30 now, so I have my freedom, But I never had any when I was a kid.

Unknown, there is only one thing i cannot fathom. Why havent you cut her off yet?

The whole point of having a family is having a support network. When you fail in school family is supposed to help you get on your feet. When you get beaten by bullies, family (father) helps you to stand up to them. When something terrible happens in your life the family is here to offer comfort.

Your mom denied you any of this. How could you learn work ethic and enjoyment that comes from work if not from the father?
You've said you tried to learn it yourself when you were 16 and your mother have denied you even that.

Your mother is the exact opposite of what the family is supposed to be.

Now let me tell you about the endgame of family. Do you know why ppl raise children? Do you know why they offer support and comfort? Because people get old. And when they get old they need the support of their children. When you are young you get support network, when they are old you are expected to return the favour.

You see - what your mother did, and what many other women do (alienating father), was not only for that sweet check. It recently have occured to me that there is another reason much more sinester. Have you ever wondered why they always say "MY children"?

You are their endgame. You see - only a misstep differs cat lady from a cat food. This is the exact reason why they fear dying alone, why even the most spinsterous spinsters want to get married so badly.


Unknown, read about son husbands. Because that's what you are to her and always will. That's another outcome of not having a father.
You see, a father would make sure family means respect - a something to look up to. He knows that the only surefire way to get a man to do something is out of respect. Single mothers, on the other hand, understand only shaming language and manipulation. They try to inflict social pressure in hopes that you won't ever stand up. They raise you weak, so you will bend over for her in the future. Why didn't she let you have any friends when you were 12? Because kids notice and point out unhealthy behaviour. "Man, your mum is so controlling.", "Man, where is your father? No wonder he has run for the hills" - that's what would happen.


What you've described is handbook example of predatory behaviour. That's why I am so bewildered you still mantain contact.

Originally Posted by UnKnownSurviving

Ever since 2005, my mother been asking for back rubs, when I was 12, and I fucking hated it. I am not allowed to go to my friend's house, because she's concerned about who they are. Fuck, woman, you could have gone and find out and get to know them, so i can hang out with my friends.

The whole thing about the back rubs is pretty telling, as that is something you would expect a husband to do. I could understand if your parent (or child) is in absolute agony you would rub their back to relieve their pain, but to do it regularly for pleasure or relaxation is a bit... weird. I'd rub my girlfriend's back (if I had one), but my mother, ehhhh, even she would find it awkward.

Cutting you off from your friends is also interesting. It sounds like she might have been trying to keep you to herself and have you fill some of the roles of the husband. From what I have heard this isn't uncommon with single mothers who have male children.

Since then, I left, She was asking for help around the house, every fucking time I come over. I'm like, what the fuck??? I just got here. I hate helping her, because she killed any desire for helping her. I told her why, and she still complains. Holy fuck, man. No responsibility whatsoever.

So you've left? Good.

I'm not averse to helping your parents out, but if you do it out of the goodness of your heart and they treat you like shit and complain, and then when you try to explain why you're upset they just continue to treat you like shit, I'm all for just refusing to help them in the future. If I were you I'd just give her a firm 'No' when she asks, and don't fall into the trap of explaining. "No, I'm not doing that, you can handle that yourself." Don't even bother saying you are busy, just keep saying no. If she gets upset or you get tired of her continual pestering hang up the phone. Distance is great for dealing with pests.

Your mother is a grown adult with good work ethic, and I often hear that single mothers are bad asses, so I'm sure she can fix up her own problems.

Fucking bullshit. She don't even own up what she did to me, when I was growing up.

I'm sorry to break this to you, but she's unlikely to ever own up. Bad parents rarely ever admit they were in the wrong, it would hurt their fragile ego and also detract from the perceived moral authority they think they wield over you in order to manipulate and bludgeon you into dancing to their tune.

You are waiting for a bus that will never come. Trying to wheedle an apology out of someone who will never feel remorse is an exercise in futility.

I have been trying to do my plans for my own life, and she claims I don't have my work ethic.

I can understand your anger, but at some point you will get to the point where you will just laugh and shake your head in a bemused way when she claims you lack 'work ethic'. This is the same woman who drags you over to her house to perform all her menial chores. If anything it sounds like she's projecting.

I do NOT FUCKING support single mothers. To me, because of my experience, they're disgusting, and deserve pain. There's no justice for sons who have single mothers.

There are some good single mothers, some ok single mothers, and some shit single mothers. Just like there are some good married mothers/fathers, ok married mothers/fathers, and shit married mothers/fathers. Shit parents occupy both genders and various subgroups of people, although I wouldn't be surprised if parentification was more prevalent in single parent households.

Jordan Peterson mentioned that there's consequences for sons with over-protected moms.

Sure. There is also consequences for sons whose mothers (and fathers) under-protect them. And to be fair it doesn't sound like your mother was protecting you, it sounds like she was isolating you for *her* benefit. She wanted a son who would come to her beck and call and fill the role of provider + fixer-upper husband.

I have no desire to help any of my relatives,

Yeah, they can go pound sand.

(I will not fail my kids if I have kids. But i might not want kids, every time, I see kids, I have a hatred for kids. because of my mother.

It's interesting that you hate kids because of your mother. Why do you think that is? But yeah, I don't think it's a good idea to have kids full stop, which is why I'm an anti-natalist.

I massively hate women. I have no desire for women, except when comes to get laid/sex.

I don't hate women. I choose not to have a relationship with them because the risks and costs outweigh the benefits. And to be fair, if I were gay I would not want to be an a relationship with a man. You have to sacrifice too much and receive too little in return. But having a relationship with women presents additional risks IMHO.

And I prefer my freedom and money over women.

Bingo.

Originally Posted by bazalgette

Unknown, there is only one thing i cannot fathom. Why havent you cut her off yet?
[...]
What you've described is handbook example of predatory behaviour. That's why I am so bewildered you still mantain contact.

Take a trip to subreddits /raisedbynarcissists or /EstrangedAdultChild and you will get a good idea of why. Many of the posters who made the decision to go low/no contact with parents way more toxic than the OP would get shamed by society in general. "BUT SHE'S YOUR MOOOOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTHHHEERRR!", "She was a single mother trying her best, how could you cut her off.", "They did the best with the knowledge they had at the time." Prepare to be absolutely savaged by anyone who finds out you made the decision to estrange yourself from your parent/s. Christ, there are people who justify or mitigate Joe Jackson's treatment of Michael Jackson.

And remember that bad parents have 18+ years to condition you. If you grabbed some random adult off the street, held them in a dungeon for 18 years, controlled every aspect of their life and had boundless opportunities to impose your values on them, I'm willing to bet that after being released or escaping they may have developed some sort of Stockholm syndrome or trauma bonding and feel guilt or shame about hating you, and they would parrot some of your ideology. You don't even really have to imagine, adults of both genders can struggle with guilt/shame over leaving abusive spouses. And that's an adult, not a vulnerable child with a developing mind who looks up to their parent as the ultimate authority figure.

So yeah, it's not surprising people struggle to cut off shit family members, especially the ones who raised/conditioned them. But it can be done.

My mother drove my father to drink. It took me 50 years to finally admit that. It's only because she started ganging up on me with my older sister to play childish games in recent years. There was a time when I wouldn't have lived outside a certain radius of my family but now I won't live within a certain radius of my family. I told her that, too. Did it sink in? No. Her number is blocked now and so is my sister's. Do it. When I read your rant yesterday I was stunned; I could have written it myself. You don't even have to date/fuck women for them to drive you into MGTOW.

Originally Posted by UnKnownSurviving

I'm very angry right now.

I've been fatherless for all my life. I'm 30 now. I want to cut her off. There's no joy around a single mother. We have been having arguments because "i'm" this or that, or that I don't have a "work ethic".

When I was growing up, she made me do things and she wasn't even involved. I didn't like the work, and she killed any desire to make work fun. "The work". She doesn't even know how to instill desire for work, because I can do the work, but just without any fun.

Because without a father, she doesn't listen to my points. She's a terrible mother. She was overbearing when I was growing up. Look, I am grateful for her protection, but she is a terrible mother. I want someone to knock her off, and say keep your fucking mouth shut and listen. And no, I can't even do that, because it's "disrespectful".

In my opinion, single mothers have no fucking clue, how to take care of sons. I literally hate single mothers with a passion. I don't like them, I hate them for a lot of reasons. A lot of fucking reasons.

Ever since 2005, my mother been asking for back rubs, when I was 12, and I fucking hated it. I am not allowed to go to my friend's house, because she's concerned about who they are. Fuck, woman, you could have gone and find out and get to know them, so i can hang out with my friends. I hated my childhood. There was no fun.

If there was no father around, that's means mom in charge. That usually means unbalance leadership. YOU FUCKING NEED TWO PARENTS. Who ever thought having a single mother. is okay, doesn't deserve pity from me.

I'm a product of single mother. I hate it.

Since then, I left, She was asking for help around the house, every fucking time I come over. I'm like, what the fuck??? I just got here. I hate helping her, because she killed any desire for helping her. I told her why, and she still complains. Holy fuck, man. No responsibility whatsoever.

And she fucking needs me for shit. I said no. Then she claims I don't have a work ethic. Or that I don't care enough for my mom. Fucking bullshit. She don't even own up what she did to me, when I was growing up. She killed any desire when I was growing up. She just killed any fun. And then she proceeds to say, "that's life".

What the fuck. Then she wonders why I don't want to help her. I hate women so much, especially, single mothers.

I have been trying to do my plans for my own life, and she claims I don't have my work ethic. Bitch, I have been trying to have my own plans, and you fucking ruin it.

I do NOT FUCKING support single mothers. To me, because of my experience, they're disgusting, and deserve pain. There's no justice for sons who have single mothers.

I begged Jesus to give me Justice. And I don't feel like there's any justice for me at all.

Jordan Peterson mentioned that there's consequences for sons with over-protected moms. And I think he's right on that. I feel like i have no life because of her.

I have no desire to help any of my relatives, because they failed me. All they did. I refuse to give up on my goals. I will be voluntary celibate. I'm going to be a billionaire in my lifetime.

I have no desire to help my mother. What she needs to have a man, in her life. Because I have no desire to "help" her around the house, let a husband do that for her.

My family is an idiots for a lot of reasons. And it's fucked up. They might have money, but they don't have a good family structure. Not one bit. My grandfather failed my mother, and now she failed me.

(I will not fail my kids if I have kids. But i might not want kids, every time, I see kids, I have a hatred for kids. because of my mother. So I don't think I'll be a good father. So I'm not gonna have kids.) I will not be like my mother. But even then I refuse to have kids. I massively hate women. I have no desire for women, except when comes to get laid/sex.

Because of my mother, it's been a very, very, fucking slow progress. I see why Nicolas Tesla never had any wife. Why? Because women slow down progress. And my own mother is the very definition of slowing down my progress in life. I will never have a wife. I hate them so much.

I"m not interesting in helping women at all.

Women and my mother, killed any desire for them.


My mother is a failure in family. I'm not interest in having a family. And I prefer my freedom and money over women. I see no point in having families with women. All women do is slow down progress. .

Your O.P. reminds me so much of my own upbringing it’s disturbing.

I had a dad, but he was away working at least half my life (on and off, not continuous) and when he was around he was totally pussy whipped, yet a good guy who provided for his fam and I bear zero resentment towards him.

My mum, on the other hand, was a total narcissistic cunt who thought her family, and indeed the world, should hang on her every word.

Please don’t think saying this about my own mother is being flippant. It still hurts me now to say this, but the truth is what it is and hiding it caused me more suffering than admitting it aloud ever did.

And then there was the sheer bitterness. Being the youngest of 5 siblings I got to see her melodramatics from a very young age and got the fuck out of dodge as soon as I was old enough.

When I eventually moved out of the family home, I made the mistake of giving her my phone number – just in case. MISTAKE!

She would phone me around tea-time every Friday evening knowing I was about to go out for the night and put a downer on me. I had to answer in case it was friends changing the venue or begging off. She would also call at other times, always complaining.

(As an aside I should point out that this was a land line number with no caller I.D., pre mobile [cell] phones.)

I learned my lesson and on my next move I told her I couldn’t afford a phone, but gave my number to a brother just in case of an emergency and swore him to secrecy from my mum.

And yet I would visit every Sunday as a dutiful son and listen to her bile. I kidded myself it was on my terms, but really it was the white-knight indoctrination that had been so instilled in me that I just couldn’t bring myself to tell her to go fuck herself.

And the older she got, the worse it got until she was just ranting like some mad woman flinging cats at people.

But it hurt. Even understanding she was a cunt she was still my mom and it hurt. And she knew this and played on it.

And yet even red-pilled me refuses to tar every woman with this particular brush.

You mention that you’re 30 now. This is more relevant than you may think. I’ve mentioned this more than once on this site that there’s something about a guy turning 30 that can fuck with his head.

I’m not sure exactly what it is; maybe it’s about leaving childhood behind and focusing on the future, maybe it’s genetic I don’t know, but what I do know is that it’s far more common than is generally understood.

But rest assured it passes. My early 30’s felt like I was going through some sort of life crises, my head was running riot on its own and I couldn’t understand why.

This is partially to do with the fact that women talk about all this kind of stuff and men stay Shtum. We simply don’t talk about these things and often end up feeling we’re losing the plot because of it.

BUT IT PASSES

And when you come out the other end of the tunnel you’re a much better, much stronger, much more sure of yourself man. And life becomes a piece of piss.

My life from my mid 30’s onwards has been truly the best years of my life. I’m now in the latter half of my 50’s and life is so good now I just don’t have the words to articulate it.

Soldier on my friend, you’ll get there too.

I totally agree with a boy needs to be raised with a father or by the father if his parents are divorced. My son would be a total shut in pussy if my wife had raised him alone. Anything that involved him stepping outside of the house her answer was no. He finally stopped asking her, and would just ask me. I always said yes and it would lead to an argument between me and my wife. I take him outside to dig holes, catch bugs, play in the sand, play in the river, ride the atv, and even chase nonvenomous snakes. Every time we would walk back in, I would get an ear full about how he could have gotten hurt or drowned. If he had a cut or scratch, I would get it even worse.

Now that she has passed, I spend all my free time with him. We still do all the stuff I named, and now I'm letting him help me work on the cars and atv. I'm not trying to speak ill of her, but if she was raising him alone, he would be a puss and a shut in.

Originally Posted by UnKnownSurviving

Since then, I left, She was asking for help around the house, every fucking time I come over. I'm like, what the fuck??? I just got here. I hate helping her,

I feel you, man.

They want things. They are just a bottomless pit of need. Mum … she's dead. When she was alive, she just expected people to do stuff for her. And when they didn't, she got this sad wounded animal look, sad and uncomprehending. Why on earth would people not drive her places? Why oh why would they not pick stuff up for her? Organise and take care of shit for her? A mystery, how people could be so awful.

She was a taker, not a giver, mostly because there was nothing there *to* give. She was incapable, weak, useless. Helpless in both senses of the word. Her only plan for life was to find a man to take care of things, and that didn't work out. Eventually she discovered Jesus, the one man who will have any woman. I mean, he's not exactly there most of the time, but it's better than being on your own and without help. Except that it isn't.

She's dead now - I can say what I like. She was my mother, but - I would have liked a better one.

There's no point being angry, man. There's just nothing there.

Wow. Powerful post, UnknownSurviving. I can feel the anger and frustration. Many many years' worth.

You certainly did have a shitty mother, from the sound of it. Even aside from all the general crappy parenting you reported, I was struck by the "back rub", how overcontrolling she was, and how she isolated you from friends. To me, that sounds a little like what they call "emotional incest." It'll really fuck a kid up. And create a LOT of anger. Because you're basically being used, manipulated, and abused for her needs -- the opposite of what a parent is supposed to do.

You might want to get into therapy. I'm not saying you are messed up or crazy. I'm saying that a good therapist can help untangle some of this, help relieve you of some of the hurt, anxiety, anger, loneliness, etc. that comes with it. It gets deep down in your consciousness, because it starts from such a young age, and it's the main relationship in your life. It's a tough hand to get dealt.

Eddie, does counseling count as therapy? Or is it some lesser service?

I went twice, both were work related and my employer picked up the tab. I had three, hour appointments. The counselors were easy to talk to, and I expect most people doing this work would be. They didn't help much. But it was because there was no real answer for my problem, which was jerk co-workers. But talking about it helps sometimes. And going made me look like I cared.

There might be some health service that would pay, but I don't know who it would be. If you could find a way to go without paying, you should think about it. There's no shame in getting a little help.

Originally Posted by frog

Eddie, does counseling count as therapy? Or is it some lesser service?

Yes, counseling is pretty much the same thing as therapy; the words are used interchangeably. If there's any real difference, it's that "counseling" can sometimes be briefer and more problem-focused, whereas "therapy" can last longer and go deeper. But both involve going to someone's office -- someone who has some credentials and is trying to help -- and talking to them about your problems.

I went twice, both were work related and my employer picked up the tab. I had three, hour appointments. The counselors were easy to talk to, and I expect most people doing this work would be. They didn't help much. But it was because there was no real answer for my problem, which was jerk co-workers. But talking about it helps sometimes. And going made me look like I cared.

Ah, yeah, that would be a very specific type of counseling, very brief, trying to resolve a work-related issue. For the OP, I'm thinking of something that could delve into his relationship with his mom and its effects on his life. He would want a skilled therapist, someone who knew the terrain. It would probably continue over several months, maybe a year (assuming he felt he was benefitting).

The trick is to find a good therapist. Some are not so great. It helps to interview them a little before jumping aboard. Find out how long they've been in practice, what their approach is, and how many of the problems like yours they've dealt with.

There's no shame in getting a little help.

Right. I've gone to therapy. It helped me. I'm still screwed up in some ways, but a little less.

Originally Posted by frog

Eddie, does counseling count as therapy? Or is it some lesser service?

I went twice, both were work related and my employer picked up the tab. I had three, hour appointments. The counselors were easy to talk to, and I expect most people doing this work would be. They didn't help much. But it was because there was no real answer for my problem, which was jerk co-workers. But talking about it helps sometimes. And going made me look like I cared.

There might be some health service that would pay, but I don't know who it would be. If you could find a way to go without paying, you should think about it. There's no shame in getting a little help.

From what I understand, therapists tend to be more highly qualified than counsellors. Many jurisdictions will have laws about who can describe themselves as therapists, not so much counsellors.

But the effect is pretty much the same.

With regards the O.P., sometimes just having someone listen to you about all the shit that’s been welling inside you for years can help you realise the direction you need to take in future without the need for external (counsellor/therapist) direction.

Emotions have a way of building on one another clouding one’s vision.

Putting things into words can really clear the mind.

Originally Posted by Jackoff

From what I understand, therapists tend to be more highly qualified than counsellors. Many jurisdictions will have laws about who can describe themselves as therapists, not so much counsellors.

But the effect is pretty much the same.

With regards the O.P., sometimes just having someone listen to you about all the shit that’s been welling inside you for years can help you realise the direction you need to take in future without the need for external (counsellor/therapist) direction.

Emotions have a way of building on one another clouding one’s vision.

Putting things into words can really clear the mind.

I just might pay for therapy. Get the word out.