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  1. #1

    How to increase your self esteem?

    I feel insecure when I come across a person whose life has dealt them a better life than mine in looks and status. Especially to TikTok looking Chads with the FuckBoy haircut and curved jaw line.

    Where I live, I am dead average in looks, except that I look masculine. People mistake me for a soldier, but I have joint issues that I can't afford to check out and weight gain (25kgs) that has impeded my ability to climb stairs or run.

    I have bought a book about making permanent changes to your lifestyle to lose weight and will try to look up a doctor for my joint problems, but in the meantime, how to not feel insecure?

  2. #2

    Re: How to increase your self esteem?

    Quote Originally Posted by frompaintogain View Post
    I feel insecure when I come across a person whose life has dealt them a better life than mine in looks and status. Especially to TikTok looking Chads with the FuckBoy haircut and curved jaw line.

    Where I live, I am dead average in looks, except that I look masculine. People mistake me for a soldier, but I have joint issues that I can't afford to check out and weight gain (25kgs) that has impeded my ability to climb stairs or run.

    I have bought a book about making permanent changes to your lifestyle to lose weight and will try to look up a doctor for my joint problems, but in the meantime, how to not feel insecure?
    There are a lot of great self help books, and I would recommend Maximum Achievement by Brian Tracey. His book Goals is also really good. Basically, you need to learn to never cut yourself down. You work to achieve good things based on your abilities, and when you achieve something, no matter now small, you celebrate and congratulate yourself. You don't have to become an Olympic athlete or a rock star to be of value. If you need to lose 25 kgs, celebrate as soon as you've lost 2, and stay on the right path that worked. Then celebrate when you've lost 4 kgs. If a doctor can help you with your joint issues, great. Improve that if it's possible. If it ends up not being possible, then you accept yourself exactly as you are. Write down the serenity prayer and live it! The text to that is:

    God, grant me the Serenity
    To accept the things I cannot change...
    Courage to change the things I can,
    And Wisdom to know the difference.

    Live that. I mean it. You might find out from the doctor that the joint situation can be made way better through special exercise. So you do that and celebrate it getting better. If that ends up not being possible, if the doctor says you're stuck with that condition, but you can maintain it, then you do that, and you accept the situation and love yourself as you are. In other words, you do your best, and then whatever happens is what happens, and you accept it and love and appreciate yourself.

  3. #3

    Re: How to increase your self esteem?

    Quote Originally Posted by frompaintogain View Post

    I have bought a book about making permanent changes to your lifestyle to lose weight and will try to look up a doctor for my joint problems, but in the meantime, how to not feel insecure?
    One way to feel less insecure is to realize there's a whole lot of lying and misrepresentation going on by people who might claim to have it better than you. I find it rather surprising how easily people believe the BS and lies presented by other people. There's a possible evolutionary glitch happening here, but that's a longer story. Trust worked better in a simpler society.

    The problem is made more serious by social media, where it's typically impossible to verify truths about what other people claim. In general, I don't believe much of anything people say about their accomplishments regarding the two topics of money and sex. As someone mentioned on another thread, the "chads" frequently end up in the same sort of screwed of marriage situations as any lesser being.. I recall one in particular I knew in my teens. He was married to a single Mom by age 25. The braggart met someone more skilled in deception than himself apparently.

  4. #4

    Re: How to increase your self esteem?

    Confidence takes time to build. It isn't achieved in one day. If I was you I would install any social media or any app that relates to that. Once you figure out your joint issue and are able to start working out then hopefully you'll start to accept yourself if not it'll be tough not to be insecure but once you do accept yourself even if you aren't working out it gets easier

  5. #5
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    Re: How to increase your self esteem?

    My family ran me down constantly as a kid. I was led to believe there was something wrong with me and that I wasn't good enough. It has taken a long time but I have come to realize they were never good enough for me. It takes time to undo the damage but as you continue to live you see things, sometimes, like in my case they are presented to you by the very people who ran you down. And you just have epiphanies along the way.

  6. #6
    Senior Member mgtower's Avatar
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    Re: How to increase your self esteem?

    Self esteem.

    .1 Humanity, even when it appears inhumane you do it anyway for the sake of humanity.

    .2 Hold others is high regard deserving or not, practice humility.

    .3 Be righteous for righteousness sake (choose wisely).

    .4 Actively battle negative thoughts about self whenever and wherever they pop up.

    Not all self-esteem is good self-esteem, the "alternative self-esteem" (a false self esteem) is based in narcissism, selfishness, spite, ignorance, and vengeance, thereby creating a self-esteem that is singular and not shared by others that hold you in high esteem.
    Tower's Book of Survival:

    Rule #401. First you eat the dogs, then you eat the dogfood.

  7. #7

    Re: How to increase your self esteem?

    I'm working on writing a series of essays about this. I'll post them here. I posted the first a few days ago. I'm working on the second piece now. In the third, I'll talk about how to build s.e. I hope it is of some help.


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