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  1. #1

    Unhappy How can I accept myself?

    Hello guys. I am not good at making threads so i'll just cut straight to the point:

    I was bullied by several people throughout my life. I checked their facebook pages and every one of them was living the best life mind could conceive.
    One person who used to shove me around had become a MD and is a mega socialite. Another classmate of mine has super lean body (9% BF) and has majored in Physics. (I have an IQ between 97-110)

    On paper, my life is fine. I majored in Pharmacy and my future looks promising: after 3 years of apprenticeship (working in someone else's pharmacy) I will be able to start my own Pharmacy to live off of. I could also employ pharmacists to work for me while I do something else (passive income). I am also respected socially, and my job is relatively simple. All-in-all, Pharmacy allows me to live the semi-modest peaceful and low-maintenance life that I am looking to live.

    But mentally, I feel so insecure about:
    1. my average IQ (between 97-110).
    2. my body. (I can only swim because of several tendinopathies)
    3. my self-esteem and image.

    Last month I lost my appetite to eat and started over-sleeping as a result of depression (finding out my IQ was average) so my parents intervened and sent me to a psychiatrist who put me on Prozac and 2 other meds as well as had a psychologist talk with me.

    I was the embodiment of MGTOW 4 years ago: stoic, didn't care about criticism, apolitical, worryless and genuinely good man. But I have become a doomer (I have since quit Facebook, 4Chan, Reddit and all other means of news/politics around though. and currently I am feeling tremendously better, but I am mentioning this for reasons of relevance).

    The purge of MGTOW content from the Internet has deprived me of essential mental support. My father is an asshole and absent figure from my life (despite living with him in the same house) and MGTOW had helped me stay mentally strong where I would have collapsed.

    Other thing, I recently entered college campus and for the first time I have come into contact with people of my age (outside school setting I mean). I feel anxiety around women in campus. They're inquisitive and keep eye balling me to study my personality and gauge my socioeconomic status and I feel that and I automatically look down and start stuttering in my speech and stagger in my walk.

    How to get over all of these problems?
    Last edited by throwawayeh; September 14, 2021 at 8:48 AM.

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    Re: How can I accept myself?

    I think your mostly worrying about things you have little control over. There's lots a people with lower IQ scores than yours that do just fine. In fact, some blue collar jobs are so boring that you'd be better off not being that bright. Besides, I wouldn't trust those tests very much. As for self esteem and your image, give it a few years, you'll probably grow out of whatever's bothering you now.

    Living with your old man, specially if you don't like him, that sounds bad. Maybe you'd be happier if you could eventually move out?
    Every day I make the world a little bit worse.

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    Re: How can I accept myself?

    Quote Originally Posted by throwawayeh View Post
    Hello guys. I am not good at making threads so i'll just cut straight to the point:

    I was bullied by several people throughout my life. I checked their facebook pages and every one of them was living the best life mind could conceive.
    One person who used to shove me around had become a MD and is a mega socialite. Another classmate of mine has super lean body (9% BF) and has majored in Physics. (I have an IQ between 97-110)

    On paper, my life is fine. I majored into Pharmacy and my future looks promising:after 3 years of apprenticeship (working in someone's pharmacy) I will be able to start my own Pharmacy to live off of and I feel so good about this. I could also hire other pharmacists to work in my place while I do something else (passive income). Pharmacy majors are respected socially here too. All-in-all, Pharmacy allows me to live the semi-modest peaceful and low-maintenance life that I am looking to live.

    But mentally, I feel so insecure:
    1. I feel insecure about my average IQ (between 97-110).
    2. I feel insecure about my body. (I can only swim because of several tendinopathies)
    3. I feel insecure about my self-esteem and image.

    Last month I completely lost my appetite to eat and started over-sleeping as a result of depression (finding out my IQ was low) so my parents intervened and sent me to a psychiatrist who put me on Prozac and 2 other meds as well as had a psychologist talk with me.

    I was the embodiment of MGTOW 4 years ago: stoic, didn't care about criticism, apolitical, worryless and genuinely good man. But I have become a doomer (well, to be frank I quit Facebook, 4Chan, Reddit and all other means of news/politics around a month ago and I feel almost as good as I was 4 years ago, but I mentioned being a doomer out of relevance).

    The purge of MGTOW content from the Internet has deprived me of essential mental support. My father is an asshole and absent figure from my life (despite living with him in the same house) and MGTOW had helped me stay mentally strong where I would have collapsed.

    Other thing, I recently entered college campus and for the first time I have come into contact with people of my age (outside school setting I mean). I feel anxiety around women in campus. They're inquisitive and keep eye balling me to study my personality and gauge my socioeconomic status and I feel that and I automatically look down and start stuttering in my speech and stagger in my walk.

    How to get over all of these problems?
    Hi, hope you don't mind if I offer my 2 cents.
    Not to diminish your assessment of your situation, yet have you considered that your misery is self induced due to how you perceive rather than the reality ?

    Let me explain. To begin with, reflect on the reality that most people living today have more luxuries than a king or queen living merely a century ago. I don't think I need to give concrete examples, but just observe that you are having a conversation with someone all the way around the world, while going about your day; even Napoleon would be envious of you.


    Yet most people define happiness not by what gives them joy but by whether the larger society considers that happiness as valid;that seems a sure path to misery if you ask me .


    The problem truly emanates from the assumption that happiness has to have some form of societal stamp of approval to be legitimate. Basically, people can live in two ways; you can seek to do what would prove to others you're happy, or you can actually concentrate on being happy despite others looking on you as a miserable lump of flesh. Neither of those two are mutually exclusive to happiness, but I believe that the genuine joy you get from doing that which adds meaning to your life would not be comparable to the transient affirmation received from people who would only be approving of you, because your achievement has put you in a position, where you can be of use to them. It's very easy to confuse that elation with love, but they aren't the same. When you have people who genuinely care about you, there is a sense of peace that comes from the security that despite them seeing you as you are, warts and all, they still find your presence valuable.


    If you reflect a little, you'll realize that you are letting people who didn't care about you then or probably even less so now, live rent free in your head, and to what purpose ? So you can finally prove to them that you deserve their respect ? Why not rather dispense with the need for their respect and start to seek interactions that don't hinge on feelings of shame or guilt ? Funny thing is then you'd actually have their respect without trying .


    I understand a part of it stems from not having a father who gives one a sense of belonging or purpose, as I had a similar experience with mine. But realise that, you are old enough to starting becoming the kind of man who is worthy of respect despite what others may say to you. Look into it and it might surface that it's actually the approval of your father which has been lacking that makes you seek it from your peers. Standing from where I'm looking, you seem to be doing well, so why needlessly compare your happiness with another's ? Would you also take on all the misery that comes with the surface you perceive ?


    Sorry for coming off as preachy, but I think a dose of honesty would do you more good than any false sympathy. The thing is once you start to treat yourself with respect, others are compelled to respect you too. Don't confuse that with them having affection or genuine respect for you as a person, but isn't it good enough to know you won't have to deal with being disrespected to your face ? Anything beyond that is wanting to control the minds of others like a tyrant .


    In the final analysis I think you ought to determine what is of value to yourself, and pursue those goals: as usually depression is often a sign that we are not living in line with our aspirations or potential. But to pursue such, you first have to sit down and determine what you want from life and then people's opinions wouldn't mean so much to you, because you'd be living a life that helps you determine what is of value to your self actualisation .

    In regard to women judging you, once you stop seeking external validation, it will be easy for you to ignore the rude ones because the need to prove yourself to them would be gone, which is what women bank on most of the time . And the ones who are already interested, tend not to have the judgemental look, but still exercise caution none the less.

    Cheers

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    Senior Member stanmsl's Avatar
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    Re: How can I accept myself?

    Quote Originally Posted by throwawayeh View Post
    I was bullied by several people throughout my life. I checked their facebook pages and every one of them was living the best life mind could conceive.
    One person who used to shove me around had become a MD and is a mega socialite. Another classmate of mine has super lean body (9% BF) and has majored in Physics. (I have an IQ between 97-110)
    Life's a marathon not a sprint............I envied most people when I was younger (I assume you are young since you mentioned college).

    People only put their best side on social media so I wouldn't worry too much about that.
    Most of the "high school athletes" I knew were overweight by age 35.
    Most of the people who went university don't earn enough today to justify the time and effort invested.
    Most successful men eventually surrender to traditional marriage and live in arrangements with women. They are currently sitting on 50% odds of having their lives destroyed.
    Men are becoming MGTOW by the millions, most without ever having heard the term. They are simply doing what all living organisms finding themselves in a toxic environment do. They adapt to it or remove themselves from it. Females are not liking either the adaptations or the removal.

    ,TWITTER FEED BLOG

  5. #5

    Re: How can I accept myself?

    Quote Originally Posted by frog View Post
    I think your mostly worrying about things you have little control over. There's lots a people with lower IQ scores than yours that do just fine. In fact, some blue collar jobs are so boring that you'd be better off not being that bright. Besides, I wouldn't trust those tests very much. As for self esteem and your image, give it a few years, you'll probably grow out of whatever's bothering you now.

    Living with your old man, specially if you don't like him, that sounds bad. Maybe you'd be happier if you could eventually move out?
    It's hard to let go of the IQ obsession. My aptitude hinges on my IQ. Had I had 15 more IQ points thanI do now, I would probably be a medical doctor or some high level engineer.

    IQ never changes. I could inherit $20 billion dollars and could hire the entirety of neurosurgeons and brain scientists in the world and they'd not be able to add 1 IQ point to my baseline intelligence.

    And to know that my place in the IQ hierarchy lies within the 50th percentile I feel sad about it. Not depressed, but sad.
    The first thing that comes to mind when you want to insult someone is to insult their intelligence. People are filtered and sorted out subtly by their aptitude in any setting possible, be it social or academic.

    Finding out about my IQ range has been the last nail in the coffin regards to my stance of bachelorism and going my own way. Not only I won't get married, I will make sure to not pass down my average genes.

    We simply live in times where being average is not enough. You have to be spectacular and of elite performance to get by in life.

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    Re: How can I accept myself?

    Your assuming some things, and don't realize that your IQ score is only part of the overall package. IQ is similar to horsepower in your hot rod. More is usually better, but without control it won't do you a bit a good. It will in fact make things worse.

    Do you want something, I mean really want it? Are you willing to put everything else aside while you work night and day to reach your goal? In this case hard work and sticking to your guns will get you a lot farther than brains. Don't get me wrong, life's tough if your stupid, but IQ scores alone don't mean much. Most a the time hard work and keeping at it will get you farther than brains. Furthermore, many smart people are lazy, using their brains to forever take the easy way out. That's ok, but don't expect the rest of us to like their game very much. They could also accomplish so much more if they wasn't terminally lazy.

    Besides, I know these tests are flawed. As a young draftee I worked for career soldiers who had GT scores (Army version of the IQ test) 40 points lower than mine, and they had been to class's to improve theirs. Was I smarter than these men? Well yeah, but the difference was not anywhere near as great as these tests said. I had spent more time in school than these guys, that makes a difference. I'm a big reader too, and back then that helped. So don't put too much faith in those tests.
    Last edited by frog; September 14, 2021 at 3:13 PM.
    Every day I make the world a little bit worse.

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    Senior Member stanmsl's Avatar
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    Re: How can I accept myself?

    The original post has gone and my reply didn't get posted......strange !
    Men are becoming MGTOW by the millions, most without ever having heard the term. They are simply doing what all living organisms finding themselves in a toxic environment do. They adapt to it or remove themselves from it. Females are not liking either the adaptations or the removal.

    ,TWITTER FEED BLOG

  8. #8

    Re: How can I accept myself?

    Yes, I realized this. Could you please write what you wrote earlier, so I could read it again? I didn't get to see your reply to my thread.
    I edited the original post and used better vocabulary and deleted redundancies in writing, and when I posted the new composition, the whole post disappeared. Maybe it has something to do with having a new account and needing an administrator to OK my new edit, I don't know.

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    Re: How can I accept myself?

    Quote Originally Posted by stanmsl View Post
    The original post has gone and my reply didn't get posted......strange !
    I don't see a mod dumping his post, that don't sound like them. I suppose the poster could of, but since he has replied to our posts I guess he's still around. Give it another go stanmsl.

    Maybe a doctor cant improve your actual IQ, but education can improve your test scores, and I would say that's why most peoples scores go up.
    Every day I make the world a little bit worse.

  10. #10

    Re: How can I accept myself?

    IQ is a good predictor, compared to other psychological tests, but that's not saying much, since most psychological tests are crap.

    IQ is a construct that doesn't cover everything about intelligence. There has been a long debate in the field of psychology about this, with many big names maintaining the position that IQ tests measure only a portion of actual intelligence, and that the latter is composed of many aptitudes that IQ tests -- with their emphasis on verbal and mathematical skills -- simply do not capture. I think there is merit to that position.

    If you're concerned about your ability to climb conventional ladders of success, know that hard work and interpersonal skill are better predictors than IQ.

    Know also that IQ has no correlation to confidence, anxiety, depression, neuroticism, or hundreds of other psychological strengths or weaknesses, good or bad traits, etc. It's very narrow-minded, to put SO much emphasis on IQ, as if it's the be-all, end-all of success or achievement. It ain't.

    It is not true that you cannot change IQ -- or rather, cannot change your score on an IQ test. It's perfectly possible to study for IQ tests -- not the specific questions, but the broad types of tasks involved -- and do substantially better on them the second time around. I'm an example of that. I studied hard for the GRE (which has strong correlations with IQ), and I scored a 1510, which is quite high and much better than my performance on the SAT, years earlier, when I didn't study). The IQ equivalent of my GRE score is 155. I know my IQ ain't 155. It's maybe 130, 135 on a good day. I am dumb in many ways, but I'm very good at verbal-linguistic conceptual stuff, and IQ tests are heavily weighted towards that ability, so I do well. But the preparation probably boosted my result by about a standard deviation.

    If you feel so shitty about your IQ score, spend 6 months in preparation for it -- drilling yourself daily on verbal and mathematical problems (there are courses and workbooks out there) -- and then take the test a second time. I'll bet you that you score a standard deviation higher than you did the first time.

  11. #11

    Re: How can I accept myself?

    There is only one comparison a man need make - that being who he is today versus who he was yesterday.
    Improvements can be minimal and some days we go backwards but as long as the general direction of travel is the the direction we want to go then all is good.
    A sure way to feel defeat, anxiety and hopeless is when we compare ourselves to others.
    The fundamental problem when we do that we fall into the trap of making the comparison between something we feel inferior about and/or something we see as superior in someone else. It is guaranteed to end in us feeling inadequate.

    Dude has a nicer car than me - he must be better than me - false logic.
    Dude has a nicer car than me - means dude has a nicer car than me. May also mean - dude has a weakness for something I do not have.
    Ergo - I am better than him - since I do not possess that weakness - false logic. It means he has a weakness/passion you do not. it is immaterial anyway.


    As an individual you are wholly unique and have had utterly unique life experiences etc - meaning no two people can be compared.

    Decide who you want to be - work daily at becoming him. Do not forget you have the rest of your life to become him.
    Also - this is process - not goal. Journey - not destination. When you work at who you want to be you become him immediately. But the more you work at him the more of him you simply become.

    Ignore others - they are mere distractions.
    Last edited by DocDJ; September 14, 2021 at 4:04 PM. Reason: poor grammar/clarity

  12. #12

    Re: How can I accept myself?

    Quote Originally Posted by throwawayeh View Post
    Finding out about my IQ range has been the last nail in the coffin regards to my stance of bachelorism and going my own way. Not only I won't get married, I will make sure to not pass down my average genes.
    This statement shows that your IQ is just fine. Do you realize how many men in this world never realize this important conclusion because their IQ is not sufficient to grasp this? They do the same mistake over and over again until they die.
    You sir, are way ahead of the curve.

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    Re: How can I accept myself?

    Quote Originally Posted by throwawayeh View Post
    Yes, I realized this. Could you please write what you wrote earlier, so I could read it again? I didn't get to see your reply to my thread.
    I edited the original post and used better vocabulary and deleted redundancies in writing, and when I posted the new composition, the whole post disappeared. Maybe it has something to do with having a new account and needing an administrator to OK my new edit, I don't know.
    It does have something to do with you being new, and probably also tied to the length of your post, although it really isn't that long; I don't know the formula used by the software to decide what posts to auto-moderate and what ones to just let through. At some point, it goes away for each new member, perhaps after you make a certain number of posts. As of this writing, you have made only 4 posts.

    I've been visiting the moderator bucket with more frequency as we have many new members. Your Post #1 did auto-moderate after you updated it and I just now released it into public view.


    Quote Originally Posted by stanmsl View Post
    The original post has gone and my reply didn't get posted......strange !
    Your Post #4 did auto-moderate but I have now placed it into view. I have no explanation for this. You are not a new member. I typically do not see this for older members.


    Quote Originally Posted by throwawayeh View Post
    And to know that my place in the IQ hierarchy lies within the 50th percentile I feel sad about it. Not depressed, but sad.
    May I ask, what is/are the names of the specific IQ test(s) that you took and who proctored it/them? Or did you take one of those online DIY tests or the ones found in magazines which are not to be formally trusted? There are a number of "approved" standardized IQ tests, acceptable to organizations like Mensa, while there are also a number of IQ tests, I'm thinking of one instance used in the military, that would not be allowed to use for acceptance to organizations like Mensa.
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    Re: How can I accept myself?

    Quote Originally Posted by DocDJ View Post
    There is only one comparison a man need make - that being who he is today versus who he was yesterday.
    Improvements can be minimal and some days we go backwards but as long as the general direction of travel is the the direction we want to go then all is good.
    A sure way to feel defeat, anxiety and hopeless is when we compare ourselves to others.
    The fundamental problem when we do that we fall into the trap of making the comparison between something we feel inferior about and/or something we see as superior in someone else. It is guaranteed to end in us feeling inadequate.

    Dude has a nicer car than me - he must be better than me - false logic.
    Dude has a nicer car than me - means dude has a nicer car than me. May also mean - dude has a weakness for something I do not have.
    Ergo - I am better than him - since I do not possess that weakness - false logic. It means he has a weakness/passion you do not. it is immaterial anyway.


    As an individual you are wholly unique and have had utterly unique life experiences etc - meaning no two people can be compared.

    Decide who you want to be - work daily at becoming him. Do not forget you have the rest of your life to become him.
    Also - this is process - not goal. Journey - not destination. When you work at who you want to be you become him immediately. But the more you work at him the more of him you simply become.

    Ignore others - they are mere distractions.
    Dude has a nicer car than me because he's fucking idiot that can't keep a car or truck purring like a kitten for 300k mi/482k km and perform all the maintenance himself!

    He's also getting ass rammed at the dealer when he trades in every couple years paying registration and sales taxes 10 or 11 times to my one!

    He also buys BMW, Mercedes and others with a resale value that resembles the 1929 wall street crash!

    I think in terms of miles to wrenching, and in that regard Toyota comes out on top (official truck of the Taliban).

  15. #15

    Re: How can I accept myself?

    My perspective on what I am going through is a bit fickle. I don't know what perspective/thought process should I settle with.

    My goal in life is very simple:
    (1)receive my Pharmacy degree.
    (2)do the compulsory 3 year apprenticeship to be eligible to start my own pharmacy.
    (3)start my own pharmacy
    (4)when my health declines or I get bored, employ someone in MY pharmacy so I could get passive income from them while I figure out another income source.

    I am looking to buy a modest home in a calm middle class neighborhood which has a small lawn and to basically live in peace and take care of my health. Nothing extravagant or beyond reason.

    Coming across concepts such as IQ and other metrics of aptitude made me question my humanity. If I stand next to a person who has 15 more IQ points than me, is he more "Human" than me? Will I be considered "subhuman" if a big gap exists between us? Should I care about my IQ, something I could never ever control?

    I feel a sense of duty to contribute to my society and make my existence on this planet a net-positive, but if I had an average IQ I wouldn't be able to contribute in a meaningful way. I am seeking meaning through the capabilities a higher IQ would give me.

    The arguments I received for IQ are:
    1. Happiness is more important than IQ (within reason, ofcourse). So having 97 IQ but living a good life beats having 140 IQ and paying alimony and living pay check to pay check.
    2. I shouldn't worry about the implications of my IQ or society's average IQ. because: (fuck society/am not responsible for world problems/I am not expected to change the world/and many other reasons).

    I have did something that I have called "sphere of relevance", which I simply define as "only partake in activities that are relevant to my goals and life". As a result, I have completely stopped consuming the news and listening to politics. I literally only care about things that affect me instead, rather than invest a single dime on things outside my "circle of relevance". I have also convinced my family members of my MGTOWness. My parents accepted my no-marriage and no-kids position. I realized that living for yourself and no one else is the best way to live and that you should never make other people's problems your problems because if someone can't be happy on their own you can never make them happy. I would never ever die in vain in another person's battlefield.

    Last week I walked into a conversation about Afghanistan. Apparently the Afghan army surrendered or something and people were so astonished how little I knew of this global event. I realized as a Middle Eastern whatever happens outside my own city is irrelevant to my day-to-day life, so why engage?

    But I also came across this thought: Had I been a soldier of the Afghan army, should I have had fought and died for my "country?" or should I have had only cared about my own life and only pursued my own interests and never died for some politican?

    I am only 21 and I don't know what to do. The only thing I am doing is saving money. Seeing that I will be self-employed, I am studying in a local university that's cheap, gives solid education and gives me equal opportunity for employment compared to others who pay quadruple the amount I am paying.

    I think that AVOIDING doing a mistake is ten times better than DOING the right thing. For example, marriage is a man's downfall. A lot of men are contemplating killing themselves because they are not married and it's really sad. They are too short sighted to cherish the serenity, freedom and security that comes with not being married.

    I am projecting that into IQ too. Having an average IQ (therefore average performance and life) could be the biggest freedom in the world. I am nobody important, have the freedom to go anywhere I can go and have no responsibilities piled on me through social conditioning. Had I had a high IQ I would be expected to take on an excruciating jobs and tasks and I should just be content that I am healthy, happy, MGTOW and problem-less. Being nobody could be better than being a famous billionaire tenfold.

    "Be careful what you wish for" summarizes my point.

    I really don't know what to do. I feel extreme anxiety around "Alpha males" or people who I perceive to be higher in me in attainment or aptitude. I feel anxious when I feel like girls are staring at me studying my socioeconomic status. I feel insecure when I stand next to a person taller than me or has a "chad" jawline or other stuff. I feel insecure when I come across a facebook profile of a person who is tall, fit, rich, and works an elite-level job. I just feel overwhelmed socially.

    I had been cut from MGTOW-self-help centered content since 2017 and without maintaining a constant exposure to these things you slowly dwindle back to insecurity and weakness. How to fix all of this?
    Last edited by throwawayeh; September 14, 2021 at 6:40 PM.

  16. #16

    Re: How can I accept myself?

    Lol if every man went his own way we'd go extinct

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    Re: How can I accept myself?

    Hi throwawayeh, nice to meet you!

    It sounds like you're seeking self-certainty in various aspects of your life. In addition to the other excellent advice here, I recommend finding some small things to do and do them well. When you master the smaller things and learn to trust yourself, incrementally try bigger things. It will be awkward and you'll make a lot of mistakes, but life isn't a race and no one is keeping score. Getting comfortable is just being comfortable with being uncomfortable.

    If you want to get better at conversation for example, start with baby steps while observing what others do, and then gradually dial it in. The same applies for everything else. Some people paint 40K miniatures, some play a musical instrument, some work out, some play sports, some learn to cook delicious meals -- you need to prove to yourself that you can trust yourself, that you can improve, that mistakes aren't the end of the world, etc. Everyone starts at a different skill level for different things yet learning is always learning. I'm two and a half standard deviations from the mean on intelligence and that doesn't change anything; it just means I have a head start in learning things like solving differential equations or designing algorithms or understanding Hegel or whatever, but we all still have to put in the 10,000 hours to become a master at anything.

    You have the career thing down so time and money will solve a lot of your anxieties.

    I hope this helps!

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    Re: How can I accept myself?

    Hi throwawayeh,

    Friend, it is quite apparent that you have allowed the idea of IQ to take you down. An average IQ is not "less", or "low". It is in the middle of the bell curve, and the reason the curve is a bell is because in the belly of the bell is where most people are:



    You are among the majority of the people walking around. Healthy, functioning, contributing people who have the same problems and realizations as you and me. Not a bad place to be!

    And, as you are aspiring to become a pharmacist with your own pharmacy, more power to you. My close friend is a pharmacist, newly retired, and from knowing him I have gained much respect for the profession from hearing him talk about stuff that one does not hear when merely picking up medications at the store counter. If that is your aptitude and goal, run with it, my man.

    I get my driver's license from a State-run office. I've read your latest post and I am puzzled to guess in what type of environment were you picking up your drivers license, that a fellow (apparently sitting next to you in the waiting room?) had decided to quiz you, and then the fellow who gave you the eye test had authority (?) to inquire about your academic status then give you a paper that requested an immediate IQ test from a psychiatric facility? Nobody in our State-run office can prescribe anything to anyone. Perhaps I read into it too much? Did he merely give you this referral informally, in a casual conversation with you, because he was making small talk and you indicated to him that you were unsure of where you were going in life, so he thought that an IQ test would help you decide on a career? Is that how you got the notion than IQ determined success? Did this guy do that to your head?

    I couldn't do anything but carry through with his request.
    Why was this binding upon you? Were you in the military?

    Average IQ is not lackluster. Or boring. Or vapid. You are not "noticeably dumber" to people, if that is what you are fretting about. Corral your imagination on this point. The biggest mistake I believe people make in life is when they compare themselves to other people, as that fucks up your head. Guaranteed. And do you know why it fucks up your head? Primarily because you do not have all the facts about these other people with whom you have chosen to compare, not seeing the pedestrian and mundane portions of their lives, and you ignore these gaps in what you know about them or pave over these gaps with assumptions that help make them appear better than they may actually be, romanticizing these people, seeing only the glitter, making them noble, and we don't realize we are doing this, such is our default to put ourselves down in our well-intentioned desire to take an honest look at ourselves. So, you short-circuit your awareness by drawing conclusions like, Gee if I only had a higher IQ, I could [fill in the blank]. We place ourselves in a false deficit. What a trap we make for ourselves when comparing.

    Yeah, and if I was rich, I'd [fill in the blank].

    I am only 21 and I don't know what to do. The only thing I am doing is saving money. Seeing that I will be self-employed, I am studying in a local university that's cheap, gives solid education and gives me equal opportunity for employment compared to others who pay quadruple the amount I am paying.
    Saving money and getting an education? Sounds very wise to me. Aspiring to pharmacology? Sounds great to me. Sheesh, and you say you don't know what to do! Do you realize how many other people your age flounder with no plans at all? Are you distracted by your comparisons to certain others that you cannot appreciate what you do for yourself? In what parts of these good ideas for yourself do you find dissatisfaction? You have a very good plan. Appreciate it. I always enjoy hearing when young people save money for their future. Makes me feel good. And, from what else you wrote, you're a conscientious guy, always worth knowing.

    Be who you are. Don't try to save the world. Focus on the duties to yourself that lie nearest you and things will unfold from there. There will be a natural amount of evolution to you as your age progresses through life. As it should be, and is, for all of us.
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    The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.
    - Henry David Thoreau

    There are 10 types of people in the world - those who understand binary, and those who don't.

    Suitable for bookmarking: www.fakehatecrimes.org and www.breitbart.com/tag/hate-crime-hoax

  19. #19
    Administrator jagrmeister's Avatar
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    Re: How can I accept myself?

    First, thanks for sharing. It takes guts to discuss this stuff.

    I'll just make a few quick points; some of which you probably already know as you seem self-aware:

    * Comparison is the 'thief' of happiness. No matter where you ascend, there will be those doing better than you. Including total assholes. After decades of work, I am a multi-millionaire. But there are college classmates I went to, including one who created some kind of weird nazi group while in college, who's doing far better. I focus on my achievements; while i 'live and let live' about other people's fates.

    * Awkwardness with women. I went back to college later in life after many years of working with mostly men. After some initial uncertainty, I found them easy to talk to, maybe easier than striking up a convo with a guy. Circumstances vary and that was also a while back. I do think that MGTOW participation causes some subconscious awkwardness with women because we are read so much female misconduct. It's easy to exaggerate it. Neither think too much of them or too little; they are just another person regardless of their makeup etc. Your inner game/mentality should be focused on yourself, and your own positive well-being. It helps you be less self-conscious.

    Some of you may be wondering -- who is this Jagrmeister guy? Have a look at some of my posts from MGTOW Forums--> Jagr Archive (collection of my articles)



    Stuff I do: Box, Surf, Tennis (3.5/4.0), Downhill skiing. I lift 4x a week and have for 10 years.
    Stuff I like: Comedy shows, NBA, Reading Non-Fiction (sociology, philosophy, biographies).
    Random facts: I admire Steve Jobs. Favorite travel spots (Russia, Central America).

  20. #20
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    Re: How can I accept myself?

    If I judged people by their brains, my best friend wouldn't make the cut. He's no more than average, after all these years he probably still reads at the middle school level, and would go down in flames if he were to take one of your tests.

    But his loyalty can't be questioned. I called him once. "The bike's still running, but it's making noise. Get the truck ready." Turned out he wasn't needed, but he'd a spent his weekend hauling me home from Idaho if it the bike would a quit. Would some high IQ asshole have come and got me? Maybe yes, maybe no. Anyway, I'll take my loyal friend over some longhair professor any day.
    Last edited by frog; September 14, 2021 at 9:10 PM.
    Every day I make the world a little bit worse.


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