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Thread: Hike to Nowhere

  1. #1
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    Hike to Nowhere

    At the top of the mountain today, a bee landed on my hand. I brought the bee very close to my eyes to inspect all its details: shiny wings, the fuzziness on its head and middle section, and antennas. A young gal was passing me on the trail, she got very close to me, I showed her the bee, and said, “Isn’t that cool.”


    The bee flew away.


    She was with a lady friend, they were both very intrigued. I mentioned they should look out for the lizards that are in the area, mentioning that they will stand out because they have an orange color.


    Some way down the trail I caught up with them and they pointed out a lizard warming up on a rock in the sun. One of them asked me if I knew the type of lizard, “I do not know. But, they’re cold blooded. Imagine what that experience must be like.” I answered.


    Neither of them seemed interested in discussing what it must be like to be a lizard.


    I put my head phones back in, continued hiking and listening to my audio book.


    Every so often the gals would stop, and I would catch up with them. One is wearing textured yoga pants and the other is wearing a laced sports bras. These gals are beautiful, and beauty is that which cannot otherwise be loved.


    Around one corner one of them was bent over adjusting her shoe, I made sure to keep my distance stopping 6ft behind her and admiring what her mama gave her.


    Around another corner one of them has her hand up in the air and the other is digging through her tiny sporty backpack.


    In another universe, this would be my perfect opportunity to strike up a conversation, and show them a nice area off the trail for a quickie. That part of me is dead. I know the risk is too high.


    Before the trail ends, I change from audiobook to KVSH & Schillist - Sicko Drop, and bust out my greatest footwork while tearing down the trail passing them.


    After arriving home I meditate for 30 minutes in lotus pose. Upon releasing from the meditation I feel ecstasy, my legs are like jello, and there is a tingling sensation from the waist down. The experience following the meditation reminded of the greatest oral I have ever received.


    Next, I rubbed one out to a free 4k porno of two chicks giving a blowjob on a trail.


    This is enlightenment. I received all the reward with near zero risk.


    Before writing this, I caught myself thinking about these gals, “Could have, should have, would have.” I watched Taylor the Fiend latest episode, and 30 seconds into it I was reminded why I made the right choice.


    Going for the “real thing” is the same as a city slicker going out and chopping down my own Christmas tree. It is a lot of fucking work. I might miss a swing and chop my leg off. If I get the real tree into my house and forget to turn the Christmas tree lights of one night, it might catch on fire and burn the house down. The real tree, it smells nice. Do not be duped, buy 100% pure Fraser fir essential oil and balsam fir essential oil.

  2. #2
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    Re: Hike to Nowhere


    "Neither of them seemed interested in discussing what it must be like to be a lizard."

    That got a laugh out of me. It reads like they failed your shit test, and if one of them had pontificated on lizard life, your day would have turned out very differently.

    I checked out KVSH & Schillist - Sicko Drop, as I'm an electronica guy. It was alright but didn't quite take off to that next level for me.

    I've got one for you - Let's Do It Again (Radio Edit) - Jamie XX.

  3. #3
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    Re: Hike to Nowhere

    ‘That next level’, it is incredible how much of my life is dedicated to taking me to ‘that next level’. Pontificate - express one's opinions in a way considered annoyingly pompous and dogmatic, learning this word has taken my lexicon to ‘that next level’.


    Allow me to pontificate what I aspire to propagate in this thread.


    Existence is tranquil. I am inclined to sustain my repose.


    Thank you for indicating that, ‘It reads like they failed your shit test.’ It was not intended to prevent unintelligent facially symmetrical maidens with a 0.67 hip to waist ratio and a BMI between 18.5 to 23.9 from diluting my exceptional harem, only to be purged later. I abstain from copulation.


    I strive to treat everyone as comrade, regardless of their identity. Had this been two fellow cavaliers who failed to pontificate on the saurian ectothermic conscious experience, my revulsion would have been identical.


    I do mean cavalier and not caviller, these terms are synophones. Synophone, “words that have different meanings, different spellings, and sound similar but not the same.” The fact that ‘synophone’ is missing from most common dictionaries demonstrates how lacking dictionary authors are of ‘common sense’. I digress, back to the propagation of my thread.


    Thank you for the music.

  4. #4

    Re: Hike to Nowhere

    Life - It's a whole lot easier if you simply avoid the people most likely to ruin it.
    Sex is the bait. Marriage is the trap. Divorce rape is the goal.

  5. #5
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    Re: Hike to Nowhere

    Honestly Porn is better than any fling you'll have with some ho


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