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  1. #21
    Senior Member Resdayn's Avatar
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    Re: Has anyone else here gone non-alcohol?

    You may know that I quit smoking 9 weeks ago, and I think it would be for the best if I quit drinking too. I get the feeling that quitting the booze will be a different battle, because when I smoked I NEEDED a cigarette every hour, it was one of the first things I did after waking up and the last thing before going to bed again. With drinking it's a little bit like this:
    - it's Wednesday (for example), nothing to do tomorrow, and wouldn't it be nice to kick back with rum 'coke, snacks, and good movie or two, or series? Go on, get drunk!
    - I'm looking at the clock, it's 7:30 pm and the liquor store closes in half an hour... hmm... I can switch things around so I can drink tonight and sit out my hangover tomorrow... And then I go and get booze.
    - I'm looking at the clock, it's 7:50 pm and the liquor store closes in ten minutes... ehhh... too late to go out (and I just shrug), which means I'll wake up sober tomorrow. Nice.

    The fact that I KNOW I don't need it, KNOW that I will save a ton of money, and that I will lose weight if I quit drinking are great motivators, but just as with cigarettes, I have this idea that it's one of my insanely few "good" things in life (I've been sitting at home for just over a decade now, 100% unable to work or go out and have fun), and if I deny myself alcohol then it feels like my life would be really bleak. So maybe, instead of quitting completely, I should severely lower my intake of alcohol and go back to once a week or something.

    For example: before I became ill (mid 20's), I didn't feel like drinking at home, and if my friends didn't want to go to the pub, I didn't either and just stayed home sober and went to bed early. In the few weeks after becoming ill I didn't know what to do and just got a beer or two almost every night. Later on, I'd drink to get drunk, because if I have just one, two or three glasses of alcohol, I'll be wide awake the entire night and have a hangover. These days I drink 3-4 times a week, a 700ml bottle of rum each time, so that's a whopping 2,1 to 2,8 liters of rum each week! Last week was the most extreme as I went to bed drunk six times, meaning I drank just over 4 liters of rum, goddamn...

    This week I only drank once (so far), and I haven't been feeling well enough to even think about drinking in the last few days, but even then, there's this voice in my head that tells me "hey man, it's almost weekend, and weekends are for drinking, right? Party on Wayne! Party on, Garth!", the adolescent/young adult part of me that fondly remembers the days of going out with friends, drinking until we're drunk, and having a great time. One thing about that time is that I barely had hangovers, while these days I feel like crap until 9 in the evening, and if I don't write down what I did during the night of drinking (which movies I saw, or series, which music I listened, if my buddy from the US was online and voice chatted with him and what we talked about), I will have a total blackout and not remember a single goddamn thing.

    Writing all of this down does make it easy to give it a go and try to quit drinking cold turkey the way I quit smoking.
    Last edited by Resdayn; September 16, 2022 at 11:19 AM.
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  2. #22
    Senior Member mgtower's Avatar
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    Re: Has anyone else here gone non-alcohol?

    I'm on the other side of the fence on both accounts. Come'on'over, the air is sweet and the water even sweeter!

    Remember, it's all in your head! What goes on between your ears makes all the difference to your body!

    I'm glad I set my self free from those vices, as well as the vices of modern interactions with monstrous modern women!

    I should severely lower my intake of alcohol and go back to once a week or something.
    It doesn't work like that, it progresses and stays that way in spite all your intentions, weaning yourself down only lasts for so long, then one morning you're hugging the toilet wondering where it all went wrong!

    I call "alcohol" the "other woman", they have so much in common and intertwined I can't tell them apart when assessing the damages!

    Sobriety changed my life, my mind, my body, and my soul for the better, so much better that going backwards is out of the question!

    I can't possibly encourage you enough whiles standing on this side of the tribulation fence!
    In the beginning, it only ate men, now it's coming for the women and children, and nothing can stop it.

  3. #23
    Administrator Unboxxed's Avatar
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    Re: Has anyone else here gone non-alcohol?

    Quote Originally Posted by Resdayn View Post
    Writing all of this down does make it easy to give it a go and try to quit drinking cold turkey they way I quit smoking.
    I can relate to all that you wrote and admire your candor for saying it.
    The two most important days in your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why. - Mark Twain

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  4. #24

    Re: Has anyone else here gone non-alcohol?

    I want you guys to know the lies I told myself back when I was drinking too much. They are:

    1. I can stop any time I want.
    2. I can just cut back.
    3. I don't drink every day, so that proves I'm not an alcoholic.
    4. I don't drink in pubs, and I've never had a DUI, so that proves I'm not an alcoholic.

    In short, if you've lost control of your drinking, you're an alcoholic, and you simply need to stop, any way you can. I never drank in pubs because I was afraid of getting a DUI. Any time I wen to a pub, I always totally abstained from alcohol. I was usually there as a professional photographer to photograph the act, and alcohol would have interfered with my ability to do my job. Plus, there was the DUI risk. In short, I compartmentalized really well.

    However, I only earned extra money as a photographer. It wasn't a full-time gig. I had a regular job that I despised. After work, it was easy to get some relief from my frustrations. I would just stop by the grocery store and buy a bunch of strong, imported beer, and go home to watch a movie and get shitfaced. I didn't drink every day, but when I did do it, I usually got plastered. I was good enough at my job to do it well with a hangover. I was the definition of a functioning alcoholic. It never got me fired, and it never got me a DUI. But I wasn't in control.

    I got this idea, "I'll just cut back." Here's how that went. This one store would sell you beer by the bottle. So I would buy myself just two beers and go home, knowing that there was no way I could drink more than that, and since I never drank and drove, I couldn't re-stock. So I would go home and put on the TV show or movie and have my two beers. Then I would have this gut reaction, this powerful emotion that said, "Where the hell is the next one?" So then the next day, I would buy a whole bunch of them and "promise" myself to have no more than three. I think you know what happened next. I would drink all of them. The next day, all hung over, I would be like, "Why the hell didn't I just stop?" And shit like that kept happening.

    Finally, I told myself, if I lost control one more time, I must be an alcoholic, and I've just got to stop. And you know what happened next. It was the year 2010, and I was horribly hung over at work, at a job that I hated. I realized if I didn't change, I would never reach any of my goals. I had a couple of bottles of beer left over. I poured them out in the sink and looked up AA online, and started going to meetings.

    An important thing you need to know from my experience is this:

    Every alcoholic is not the same.

    Some alcoholics get trashed in pubs and then get DUIs. That's a real thing that happens to some people, but it didn't happen to me. Some alcoholics go to work drunk and get fired. Again, that wasn't me. I was pretty good at compartmentalizing. Some alcoholics can't stop without going into rehab. I was lucky that that wasn't me. I have no doubt that I would have ended up needing rehab if I had kept on this path, but I was basically nipping it in the bud. I had lost control, but I was not yet chemically dependent on alcohol.

    In short, if the alcohol controls you and you don't control it, you're an alcoholic. You may need rehab or you may not. If you can stop just by getting counseling and maybe going to AA, then good. If that's not enough, then you probably need rehab.

    I wrote this so that no one here deceives himself. I had kept saying, "I'm not like this alcoholic, so I must not be an alcoholic." No DUIs was my "proof" that I didn't have a drinking problem. But I did.

    I quit drinking, and it's totally been worth it.

    One tough thing about going sober was realizing I had to face my problems. They weren't going away on their own. The alcohol made it seem like they disappeared for a while, but they were always there whether I was aware of them or not. When I was recovering, and dealing with some urges to drink, I started taking long walks every day. I would walk and listen to French lessons on my MP3 player. That's how I started learning French. I went through every single lesson of several courses, and then looked for opportunities to speak French in person. I just kept getting better and better at it until I could speak French well.

    In other words, I traded in the heavy drinking for the ability to speak French. You may miss drinking, at first at least, but you can trade in the drinking habit for something better in life. For me it was the ability to speak another language. For you it might be a better job or a kick-ass hobby. The point is, throwing out the alcohol restores your ability to improve your life. If alcohol controls you, you're stuck. You can't make your life better until you get un-stuck. If it controls you, throw it out. That's re-taking control, and then your life is yours again.
    Last edited by TigPlaze; September 16, 2022 at 12:08 PM.

  5. #25
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    Re: Has anyone else here gone non-alcohol?

    I cut out drinking immediately after the breakup. I realized that I used it as a coping mechanism, to tolerate the boredom of being with her. Now that I can do literally anything I want in my free time, I don't need it anymore.

  6. #26

    Re: Has anyone else here gone non-alcohol?

    Quote Originally Posted by Hambone View Post
    I cut out drinking immediately after the breakup. I realized that I used it as a coping mechanism, to tolerate the boredom of being with her. Now that I can do literally anything I want in my free time, I don't need it anymore.
    That's great. Good for you!

  7. #27
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    Re: Has anyone else here gone non-alcohol?

    Quote Originally Posted by TigPlaze View Post
    One tough thing about going sober was realizing I had to face my problems. They weren't going away on their own.
    Many years ago, I had heard that, if you pay close attention, you could tell generally at what age a heavy drinker of many years began drinking heavily because his emotional development stopped at that time. As I was around many heavy/regular drinkers and their mindsets, many older than me, surprisingly for a while there I was able to guess when several had started, before learning this actual detail about them. It was food for thought, asking myself was I stunted and could people notice.
    The two most important days in your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why. - Mark Twain

    The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.
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    There are 10 types of people in the world - those who understand binary, and those who don't.

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  8. #28

    Re: Has anyone else here gone non-alcohol?

    I probably have 1 or 2 beers a month, that's it. Higher alcohol negatively affected my sleep, weight gain, emotional regulation. I love how certain beers and wines taste for me that is the only draw. But since giving it up everything else improved. Plus, it's a waste of money. In Chinese medicine the liver governs emotional regulation. In places where there is a lot of alcohol consumption, where it is normalized and glorified there is always a repressed rage. It might not manifest interpersonally it could just manifest as doom scrolling and undo focus on politics that you disagree with for instance.

  9. #29
    Senior Member MGTOWFOREVER's Avatar
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    Re: Has anyone else here gone non-alcohol?

    Quote Originally Posted by Witch Doctor View Post
    I never drunk daily. I used to get black out drunk every time I would go to a club. Not remembering half the night. Comming home with injuries. Losing clothes, wallets, phones. It was terrible.

    I stopped a few years back. At first I didn't drink for a month and then I would have a drink or two and be disgusted by it and then skip a month of drinking. This went on for about two years. Now I rarely drink when out and never black out.
    You are where I was. You need to ask yourself "Do I really want this? Do I?". I look at all the time and money I wasted and that is more than enough for me to say "Ah, screw it". I think of all the things I miss out while drinking .

    Money:
    I spent an average of $100 every time I drink. $20 for 2 packs of smokes, $45 for Beer, $30 for A bottle of good liquor. Cheap booze gave me the shits and didn't even get me buzzed. That's not counting the Uber or Taxi to get the stuff or buying other people booze cause I was too happy friendly drunk.

    Time:
    What did I accomplish while drinking? Nothing. I sat around watching Youtube most of the time. The next day I would feel like shit until around 7pm.

    I decided to give it all up on Memorial Day. I think of it but then the thought passes.
    Stay away from women. They will only break your heart.

  10. #30

    Re: Has anyone else here gone non-alcohol?

    Quote Originally Posted by MGTOWFOREVER View Post
    You are where I was. You need to ask yourself "Do I really want this? Do I?". I look at all the time and money I wasted and that is more than enough for me to say "Ah, screw it". I think of all the things I miss out while drinking .

    Money:
    I spent an average of $100 every time I drink. $20 for 2 packs of smokes, $45 for Beer, $30 for A bottle of good liquor. Cheap booze gave me the shits and didn't even get me buzzed. That's not counting the Uber or Taxi to get the stuff or buying other people booze cause I was too happy friendly drunk.

    Time:
    What did I accomplish while drinking? Nothing. I sat around watching Youtube most of the time. The next day I would feel like shit until around 7pm.

    I decided to give it all up on Memorial Day. I think of it but then the thought passes.
    Good for you. Congrats. It's cool to see my MGTOW brothers doing things that builds up good lives. I feel great about throwing crap out of my life that wasn't serving me and replacing it with something that does.

  11. #31
    Senior Member Resdayn's Avatar
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    Re: Has anyone else here gone non-alcohol?

    Quote Originally Posted by TigPlaze View Post
    In other words, I traded in the heavy drinking for the ability to speak French. You may miss drinking, at first at least, but you can trade in the drinking habit for something better in life. For me it was the ability to speak another language. For you it might be a better job or a kick-ass hobby. The point is, throwing out the alcohol restores your ability to improve your life. If alcohol controls you, you're stuck. You can't make your life better until you get un-stuck. If it controls you, throw it out. That's re-taking control, and then your life is yours again.
    Thanks for your reply, Tig! My problem is that control over my life has been taken away already due to a chronic illness with several side effects, but if I quit drinking, I'll at least lose this beer belly! I used to weigh 165-180 pounds, it's closer to 240 pounds now, and while I know I'll never get down that weight again (not that I want to, I was way too fucking skinny, still am despite of my beer belly), I'm focusing on getting to 190 pounds, or +/- 87kg.
    Lord Nerevar Reborn

  12. #32
    Senior Member Resdayn's Avatar
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    Re: Has anyone else here gone non-alcohol?

    Quote Originally Posted by MGTOWFOREVER View Post
    You are where I was. You need to ask yourself "Do I really want this? Do I?". I look at all the time and money I wasted and that is more than enough for me to say "Ah, screw it". I think of all the things I miss out while drinking .

    Money:
    I spent an average of $100 every time I drink. $20 for 2 packs of smokes, $45 for Beer, $30 for A bottle of good liquor. Cheap booze gave me the shits and didn't even get me buzzed. That's not counting the Uber or Taxi to get the stuff or buying other people booze cause I was too happy friendly drunk.

    Time:
    What did I accomplish while drinking? Nothing. I sat around watching Youtube most of the time. The next day I would feel like shit until around 7pm.

    I decided to give it all up on Memorial Day. I think of it but then the thought passes.
    For me it's 9pm, and I really wonder what the hell I'm doing, but it's the classic "I'll never drink again!" followed by going out or buying booze again a few days later.
    Lord Nerevar Reborn

  13. #33
    Administrator Unboxxed's Avatar
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    Re: Has anyone else here gone non-alcohol?

    Quote Originally Posted by Resdayn View Post
    For me it's 9pm, and I really wonder what the hell I'm doing, but it's the classic "I'll never drink again!" followed by going out or buying booze again a few days later.
    I used to stop off at the grocery store after work and before going home, and would sit in the parking lot in my car before going in, agonizing do I really need to buy beer again?

    I'd think, so what if I don't drink tonight? I know I'll be drinking maybe tomorrow night, or certainly by the next night. So what is the difference I make tonight as far as curbing my drinking? One or two days of not drinking? How's that solve anything?

    I did that a lot, sitting in my car, often taking up to a half hour before I'd either go in and buy beer or go home. I knew I needed a longer term solution, to hitch my wagon to a different way of thinking. My current thinking was broken. I had to overcome this but I couldn't get my mind out of the way I was looking at it.

    My trick, eventually, was in envisioning the destination life I wanted, to permit my imagination to explore all that that meant. But, importantly, not in terms of loss, not in terms of what I was giving up, but what I was going to have. When I switched my head from a loss mode to a gain mode. I could see the old me in there, waving me in.
    The two most important days in your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why. - Mark Twain

    The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.
    - Henry David Thoreau

    There are 10 types of people in the world - those who understand binary, and those who don't.

    Suitable for bookmarking: www.fakehatecrimes.org and www.breitbart.com/tag/hate-crime-hoax

  14. #34

    Re: Has anyone else here gone non-alcohol?

    Thank you for your post, @Unboxxed - I found it inspirational.

    I am also fighting an addiction. Not booze, but that doesn't really matter; our societies are anyway built upon creating addictions in us... from a very young age - including women, Disney princess fantasies, etc.

    I hope I'll get to a place where I can look upon what I am right now and laugh.

  15. #35
    Senior Member mgtower's Avatar
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    Re: Has anyone else here gone non-alcohol?

    Quote Originally Posted by Unboxxed View Post
    I used to stop off at the grocery store after work and before going home, and would sit in the parking lot in my car before going in, agonizing do I really need to buy beer again?

    I'd think, so what if I don't drink tonight? I know I'll be drinking maybe tomorrow night, or certainly by the next night. So what is the difference I make tonight as far as curbing my drinking? One or two days of not drinking? How's that solve anything?

    I did that a lot, sitting in my car, often taking up to a half hour before I'd either go in and buy beer or go home. I knew I needed a longer term solution, to hitch my wagon to a different way of thinking. My current thinking was broken. I had to overcome this but I couldn't get my mind out of the way I was looking at it.

    My trick, eventually, was in envisioning the destination life I wanted, to permit my imagination to explore all that that meant. But, importantly, not in terms of loss, not in terms of what I was giving up, but what I was going to have. When I switched my head from a loss mode to a gain mode. I could see the old me in there, waving me in.
    My motivations came from the opposite. -Women, tobacco, and alcohol- I gazed into the future, decades down that timeline, I found utter destruction, devastation, and poverty in every measure! I saw lung cancer, car wrecks, disease, jail, and overall endless miseries I didn't want or need to endure. Good things were only hopes back then, intangible and therefore unthinkable in that reality, on that timeline.

    Good living was a monumental mountain of effort set before me, it needed base camps, sherpas, oxygen, and lots of other things! My focus was one step at a time, one day at a time, one week at a time, and so on, until one day I looked back and realized the windows of heaven were opened up as good things kept pouring into my life, success, priceless memories that otherwise wouldn't have happened, miseries that didn't happen, and an overall change in my attitude from negative to extremely positive, with more spiritual and personal growth than I ever bargained for.

    Either way you find it, it's a great path and the best template for one's future! There's actually tremendous joy and happiness in living when one's not arguing with their own conscience over one's vices.
    In the beginning, it only ate men, now it's coming for the women and children, and nothing can stop it.

  16. #36

    Re: Has anyone else here gone non-alcohol?

    Quote Originally Posted by TigPlaze View Post
    <snip>
    Awesome post, OP! I like it your post and mine are going so parallel. At univ the profs taught us: the power is in repeat. I'd say "alcoholism" is a very broad term. One could argue that everyone who is having a drink is an alcoholic. The way I see it, the abuse is a slippery slope. Ending in addiction. The vile thing with addiction is that nobody becomes addicted at their first usage. Aside perhaps from certain synthetic drugs I can't remember having had withdrawal, craving and obsessive thinking after my first beers (and cigarettes for that matter). IMO the "slope" goes from occasional usage to social, to habitual, problematic, dependence and to addiction. In my case I was far into the dependence stage. 1 inch away from addiction. I didn't have craving, withdrawal and I still drank because I liked it. Not to feel normal.

    What makes alcohol especially insidious is the fact it's the most potent pharmacological substance: it reduces anxiety, pain, calms down, lowers boundaries and is a mood enhancer. It's also woven into most cultures in the world and is very ancient. As I stated in my post, I think alcohol usage is way too "normalized." Not saying it should be prohibited but it would greatly help if societies treated it more as something special. I see this in behavior of people who I am with, who know I have an alcohol problem and quit, but wanting to have a drink themselves. They ask me "do you mind if I have a beer/ wine/ a.s.o.?" No of course not! Go ahead!

  17. #37
    Senior Member Resdayn's Avatar
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    Re: Has anyone else here gone non-alcohol?

    Quote Originally Posted by Unboxxed View Post
    I used to stop off at the grocery store after work and before going home, and would sit in the parking lot in my car before going in, agonizing do I really need to buy beer again?

    I'd think, so what if I don't drink tonight? I know I'll be drinking maybe tomorrow night, or certainly by the next night. So what is the difference I make tonight as far as curbing my drinking? One or two days of not drinking? How's that solve anything?

    I did that a lot, sitting in my car, often taking up to a half hour before I'd either go in and buy beer or go home. I knew I needed a longer term solution, to hitch my wagon to a different way of thinking. My current thinking was broken. I had to overcome this but I couldn't get my mind out of the way I was looking at it.

    My trick, eventually, was in envisioning the destination life I wanted, to permit my imagination to explore all that that meant. But, importantly, not in terms of loss, not in terms of what I was giving up, but what I was going to have. When I switched my head from a loss mode to a gain mode. I could see the old me in there, waving me in.
    Thanks for your reply I used to have a picture of an older man with an extremely fat beer belly, like he was pregnant and VERY overdue, that would scare me into staying away from the booze, because I was naturally afraid I'd end up looking like him if I'd continue drinking. And whaddaya know, I lost the picture years ago and I now have a beer gut thanks to years of drinking 3-4 times a week.
    Lord Nerevar Reborn

  18. #38
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    Re: Has anyone else here gone non-alcohol?

    I was never a heavy drinker but I also quit more than a decade ago after a bad hangover.

    I've quit several other things as well for better health:
    - Caffeine was difficult, I had headaches for three weeks and felt drained for two months. It was worth it though, life and especially sleep are better without meth lite.
    - Sugar causes drowsiness, hunger and in large quantities bursts of anger the next day. I'm not religious about avoiding it and occasionally indulge but it's never worth it.
    - Dairy aka hormone-filled babyfood for another species causes hormonal and digestive issues. I much prefer not being oily, pimply and bloated.
    - I found out I had gluten intolerance after a decade of diarrhea so I had to drop that too.

    There's a certain calm, pleasant clarity that appears when you stop chasing highs, it's great.

  19. #39
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    Re: Has anyone else here gone non-alcohol?

    Quote Originally Posted by I'm Gone View Post
    There's a certain calm, pleasant clarity that appears when you stop chasing highs, it's great.
    Absolutely. I get drunk on sobriety. It feels cool as fuck being sober these days.

  20. #40
    Senior Member MGTOWFOREVER's Avatar
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    Re: Has anyone else here gone non-alcohol?

    Quote Originally Posted by TigPlaze View Post
    Good for you. Congrats. It's cool to see my MGTOW brothers doing things that builds up good lives. I feel great about throwing crap out of my life that wasn't serving me and replacing it with something that does.
    That's the whole point. You said it here.

    I feel great about throwing crap out of my life that wasn't serving me and replacing it with something that does
    Don't be afraid to tell someone or something that is hurt you in anyway to "F**K OFF". I treat myself every Friday that I don't drink or smoke. I buy myself dinner, a movie , and video game with the money I saved. I spend at most $15 and that's being very generous. It's usually between $7 and $10. It's still way cheaper than one pack of smokes!

    Always reward yourself for your accomplishments. It sets goals in your mind so you are less likely to relapse.
    Stay away from women. They will only break your heart.


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