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  1. #1
    Senior Member Happy_Hour's Avatar
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    Happy ain't your half-white baby's daddy

    About 2 months after I moved back to the west coast from Saskatchewan my bro asks me if its ok to give his cousin Lindsy my number. I had forgotten who he meant so I said sure, bro.

    I get a call from Saskatchewan almost right away, like 2 minutes later. Turns out I already know Mark's cousin Lindsy, she was the first Native girl I dated when I got to Sask. We dated for my first month in that province before I went to a pow wow and was introduced to an entire stadium of horny Native American chicks who want to "snag" their first blue-eyed guy.

    Anyway its a year and a half later, Im back on the west coast, and Lindsy is phoning me telling me her new baby daughter she had last September is MINE! Since this girl already has kids from different dudes, I call bullshit. She says her new baby has blue eyes and blonde hair, and her Native boyfriend who she has been with since immediately after I left is also convinced that the baby isnt his like she told him it would be while she was prego. Haha.

    So I say to her "there's one sure way to solve this and figure out who's the daddy. Who's NAME did you enter as the father on the child's birth certificate?"
    "My boyfriend Jeff", she answered.
    "Tell Jeff I say congratulations on having a beautiful, blue-eyed baby girl", I laughed.
    Sure, the baby ain't Jeff's but that doesn't mean it's good 'ol Happy's either. All her kids are from different dudes, and she hopped from one homie to the next. And I ain't the only other blue-eyed guy in that city either, there's like 2 or 3 others. Hahaha.

    Anyway, no way in hell I'm gonna let some baby machine from the plains ruin my life. I saw her refuse visitation for the fathers of her other kids, so no way in hell I will take financial responsibility for a child I will never see without a DNA test. And on the list of playing casino, making bannock and getting drunk all the time, DNA tests are far down the bottom of a young prairie girl's To-Do list.

  2. #2

    Re: Happy ain't your half-white baby's daddy

    What a mess.

  3. #3
    Senior Member ProdigalSon's Avatar
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    Re: Happy ain't your half-white baby's daddy

    If you play with fire, you'll (invariably) get burnt.

    Though I'm unaware of the ins/outs of how things work in Canada, I would imagine that, should you have this DNA test done, protect yourself either way and make sure to be more... "careful" in future as you'll never know just how much a woman can destroy/hurt you until you've become a father - just ask some of the other members here. In an ideal world, I'd be the first to congratulate you and offer you a beer but sadly, we don't live in such a world and I can only hope you come through this alright brother. I sincerely wish you all the very best.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Happy_Hour's Avatar
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    Re: Happy ain't your half-white baby's daddy

    I have no intention have taking any test. The baby has a dad and her birth certificate names him. This is just another example of women with babies who dont know who the dad is. A common occurance in Canada's north. She will collect an extra $100 a month in her welfare cheque for the new addition to her growing brood. She hasnt asked me for money, but she just wants me to believe that I actually fathered one of her brood and that my totally awesome and manly DNA is in her gene pool, and as well as to hurt the guy she's with right now. She is attempting to use me as a tool to facilitate her drama with her current man bitch. Totaly delusional.

  5. #5

    Re: Happy ain't your half-white baby's daddy

    Eternal Bachelor Rule #4: "Never insert your dick into crazy"

  6. #6
    Senior Member Happy_Hour's Avatar
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    Re: Happy ain't your half-white baby's daddy

    Quote Originally Posted by EternalBachelor View Post
    Eternal Bachelor Rule #4: "Never insert your dick into crazy"
    Love it

  7. #7
    Senior Member Alik Sakharov's Avatar
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    Re: Happy ain't your half-white baby's daddy

    Text her " Un va-a pesh a lay un vi-i bee mee di nu ku " its " we need to do life liquid test " in Navaho language ...shit how do they even say DNA i dont know
    You cant keep a player down!
    Dont hate him , hate your fuking bullshit game !

  8. #8
    Super Moderator Mr Wombat's Avatar
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    Re: Happy ain't your half-white baby's daddy

    On the one hand, you total bastard for selling out a bro in this way.

    On the other: fuck him. He was boned the second that chick put his name on the certificate, anyway. If he's living with her, he's part of the problem.

    Got my g/f pregnant when I was 16. I told her to abort it. I cried, she cried, we all cried, but fuck it: even at that age I knew a life-ruining event when I saw one. The relationship didn't last long after that.

  9. #9
    Senior Member Happy_Hour's Avatar
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    Re: Happy ain't your half-white baby's daddy

    Quote Originally Posted by Mr Wombat View Post
    On the one hand, you total bastard for selling out a bro in this way.

    On the other: fuck him. He was boned the second that chick put his name on the certificate, anyway. If he's living with her, he's part of the problem.

    Got my g/f pregnant when I was 16. I told her to abort it. I cried, she cried, we all cried, but fuck it: even at that age I knew a life-ruining event when I saw one. The relationship didn't last long after that.
    This guy Jeff is no "bro". Being a male doesn't make him like me, not by a long shot. The entire month I was with that chick Jeff was trying to get her to leave me for him. Always showing up at her place, trying to one up me like a white knight. He is a bitch. Now he got what he asked for: a directionless single mom plus financial responsibility for a kid who ain't his. Fuck him.

  10. #10

    Re: Happy ain't your half-white baby's daddy

    Quote Originally Posted by EternalBachelor View Post
    Eternal Bachelor Rule #4: "Never insert your dick into crazy"
    There are two problems with this rule; no matter how wonderful the rule is. The first is detecting the crazy before inserting the dick. Lots of crazy takes months sometimes years to detect, while the dick insertion is usually in one to three dates (if there are even any dates anymore, I am out of it.) The second is I think the harder. Crazy is just so good in the sack. Once you figure out the crazy it is doubly hard to stop inserting the dick.

  11. #11
    Senior Member Indianajohn's Avatar
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    Re: Happy ain't your half-white baby's daddy

    Quote Originally Posted by Mikediver View Post
    T Crazy is just so good in the sack. Once you figure out the crazy it is doubly hard to stop inserting the dick.
    true that...
    No matter how attractive a woman is. No matter how beautiful she is. Somewhere, out there, some guy is sick of her shit.

  12. #12
    Senior Member Primus_Pilus's Avatar
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    Re: Happy ain't your half-white baby's daddy

    Quote Originally Posted by Mikediver View Post
    Crazy is just so good in the sack. Once you figure out the crazy it is doubly hard to stop inserting the dick.
    And THAT is the god-damned Greek fucking tragedy of the XX chromosome.
    First date: A job interview in which a slot-c tries to determine a man's financial suitability in relation to its desire for children.
    Oxytocin, more dangerous than heroin.
    I am not going to sacrifice my freedom and wealth for your ideals.
    If she isn't fucking you like a porn star she is fucking someone else like one.

    Women, they're just a bag of bricks. All you gotta do is set them down. - Primus Milton

  13. #13

    Re: Happy ain't your half-white baby's daddy

    Let me refocus my comment about the crazy by saying that no matter how hard it is to stop inserting the dick, it is the clear and neccesary action to take. I believe Terrance Popp has a couple of videos about "The Crazy" and the improtance of getting away from it.

    Let me also say that, like almost all men, I have had several encounters with the crazy. From this experience let me assure younger men that the longer you take to get away from the crazy the more damage you will suffer. Like candy, the crazy tastes good, but it is bad for you.


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