About 2 months after I moved back to the west coast from Saskatchewan my bro asks me if its ok to give his cousin Lindsy my number. I had forgotten who he meant so I said sure, bro.
I get a call from Saskatchewan almost right away, like 2 minutes later. Turns out I already know Mark's cousin Lindsy, she was the first Native girl I dated when I got to Sask. We dated for my first month in that province before I went to a pow wow and was introduced to an entire stadium of horny Native American chicks who want to "snag" their first blue-eyed guy.
Anyway its a year and a half later, Im back on the west coast, and Lindsy is phoning me telling me her new baby daughter she had last September is MINE! Since this girl already has kids from different dudes, I call bullshit. She says her new baby has blue eyes and blonde hair, and her Native boyfriend who she has been with since immediately after I left is also convinced that the baby isnt his like she told him it would be while she was prego. Haha.
So I say to her "there's one sure way to solve this and figure out who's the daddy. Who's NAME did you enter as the father on the child's birth certificate?"
"My boyfriend Jeff", she answered.
"Tell Jeff I say congratulations on having a beautiful, blue-eyed baby girl", I laughed.
Sure, the baby ain't Jeff's but that doesn't mean it's good 'ol Happy's either. All her kids are from different dudes, and she hopped from one homie to the next. And I ain't the only other blue-eyed guy in that city either, there's like 2 or 3 others. Hahaha.
Anyway, no way in hell I'm gonna let some baby machine from the plains ruin my life. I saw her refuse visitation for the fathers of her other kids, so no way in hell I will take financial responsibility for a child I will never see without a DNA test. And on the list of playing casino, making bannock and getting drunk all the time, DNA tests are far down the bottom of a young prairie girl's To-Do list.