Thread: Happy ain't your half-white baby's daddy

About 2 months after I moved back to the west coast from Saskatchewan my bro asks me if its ok to give his cousin Lindsy my number. I had forgotten who he meant so I said sure, bro.

I get a call from Saskatchewan almost right away, like 2 minutes later. Turns out I already know Mark's cousin Lindsy, she was the first Native girl I dated when I got to Sask. We dated for my first month in that province before I went to a pow wow and was introduced to an entire stadium of horny Native American chicks who want to "snag" their first blue-eyed guy.

Anyway its a year and a half later, Im back on the west coast, and Lindsy is phoning me telling me her new baby daughter she had last September is MINE! Since this girl already has kids from different dudes, I call bullshit. She says her new baby has blue eyes and blonde hair, and her Native boyfriend who she has been with since immediately after I left is also convinced that the baby isnt his like she told him it would be while she was prego. Haha.

So I say to her "there's one sure way to solve this and figure out who's the daddy. Who's NAME did you enter as the father on the child's birth certificate?"
"My boyfriend Jeff", she answered.
"Tell Jeff I say congratulations on having a beautiful, blue-eyed baby girl", I laughed.
Sure, the baby ain't Jeff's but that doesn't mean it's good 'ol Happy's either. All her kids are from different dudes, and she hopped from one homie to the next. And I ain't the only other blue-eyed guy in that city either, there's like 2 or 3 others. Hahaha.

Anyway, no way in hell I'm gonna let some baby machine from the plains ruin my life. I saw her refuse visitation for the fathers of her other kids, so no way in hell I will take financial responsibility for a child I will never see without a DNA test. And on the list of playing casino, making bannock and getting drunk all the time, DNA tests are far down the bottom of a young prairie girl's To-Do list.

What a mess.

If you play with fire, you'll (invariably) get burnt.

Though I'm unaware of the ins/outs of how things work in Canada, I would imagine that, should you have this DNA test done, protect yourself either way and make sure to be more... "careful" in future as you'll never know just how much a woman can destroy/hurt you until you've become a father - just ask some of the other members here. In an ideal world, I'd be the first to congratulate you and offer you a beer but sadly, we don't live in such a world and I can only hope you come through this alright brother. I sincerely wish you all the very best.

I have no intention have taking any test. The baby has a dad and her birth certificate names him. This is just another example of women with babies who dont know who the dad is. A common occurance in Canada's north. She will collect an extra $100 a month in her welfare cheque for the new addition to her growing brood. She hasnt asked me for money, but she just wants me to believe that I actually fathered one of her brood and that my totally awesome and manly DNA is in her gene pool, and as well as to hurt the guy she's with right now. She is attempting to use me as a tool to facilitate her drama with her current man bitch. Totaly delusional.

Eternal Bachelor Rule #4: "Never insert your dick into crazy"

Originally Posted by EternalBachelor

Eternal Bachelor Rule #4: "Never insert your dick into crazy"

Love it

Text her " Un va-a pesh a lay un vi-i bee mee di nu ku " its " we need to do life liquid test " in Navaho language ...shit how do they even say DNA i dont know

On the one hand, you total bastard for selling out a bro in this way.

On the other: fuck him. He was boned the second that chick put his name on the certificate, anyway. If he's living with her, he's part of the problem.

Got my g/f pregnant when I was 16. I told her to abort it. I cried, she cried, we all cried, but fuck it: even at that age I knew a life-ruining event when I saw one. The relationship didn't last long after that.

Originally Posted by Mr Wombat

On the one hand, you total bastard for selling out a bro in this way.

On the other: fuck him. He was boned the second that chick put his name on the certificate, anyway. If he's living with her, he's part of the problem.

Got my g/f pregnant when I was 16. I told her to abort it. I cried, she cried, we all cried, but fuck it: even at that age I knew a life-ruining event when I saw one. The relationship didn't last long after that.

This guy Jeff is no "bro". Being a male doesn't make him like me, not by a long shot. The entire month I was with that chick Jeff was trying to get her to leave me for him. Always showing up at her place, trying to one up me like a white knight. He is a bitch. Now he got what he asked for: a directionless single mom plus financial responsibility for a kid who ain't his. Fuck him.

Originally Posted by EternalBachelor

Eternal Bachelor Rule #4: "Never insert your dick into crazy"

There are two problems with this rule; no matter how wonderful the rule is. The first is detecting the crazy before inserting the dick. Lots of crazy takes months sometimes years to detect, while the dick insertion is usually in one to three dates (if there are even any dates anymore, I am out of it.) The second is I think the harder. Crazy is just so good in the sack. Once you figure out the crazy it is doubly hard to stop inserting the dick.

Originally Posted by Mikediver

T Crazy is just so good in the sack. Once you figure out the crazy it is doubly hard to stop inserting the dick.

true that...

Originally Posted by Mikediver

Crazy is just so good in the sack. Once you figure out the crazy it is doubly hard to stop inserting the dick.

And THAT is the god-damned Greek fucking tragedy of the XX chromosome.

Let me refocus my comment about the crazy by saying that no matter how hard it is to stop inserting the dick, it is the clear and neccesary action to take. I believe Terrance Popp has a couple of videos about "The Crazy" and the improtance of getting away from it.

Let me also say that, like almost all men, I have had several encounters with the crazy. From this experience let me assure younger men that the longer you take to get away from the crazy the more damage you will suffer. Like candy, the crazy tastes good, but it is bad for you.