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Thread: Grandparents

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    Grandparents

    My dad's father and mom's mother were both gone by the time I was born. Dad didn't like his mom and neither did I. Mom's father loved to make me laugh but lived far away and died when I was still a kid.

    Sometimes I wonder what I missed. What were your grandparents like?
    Every day I make the world a little bit worse.

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    Re: Grandparents

    I never lived near either set of grandparents, so I didn't have a lot of contact with them. But overall, they were a messed up miserable bunch. My mother's father was an alcoholic, although never identified as such during his lifetime. Alcohol and watching sports on TV were his two escapes. My grandmother was the classic unhappy housewife, bored to tears and not having much of a purpose other than cooking food. They both died before age 70.

    On the other side of the family, my father's father would likely have been labeled with "narcissistic personality disorder" if he had sought psychological therapy. Although he was quite successful financially, his relationships were all a mess. My grandmother attempted suicide at one point. She later died young from cancer, and he quickly found a second wife. I only saw him twice in my post teen life. For him, social interaction was doing speeches about his greatness with no reciprocal conversation. So, I had no interest in having much contact.

    The positive in all of the sad family atmosphere for me was the early realization I had to do something other than continue re-creating generations of screwed up people. Every one of my cousins and siblings fell into line, with various degrees of misery and dysfunction. I also am not taken in by the myth of the mid 20th century trad-con ideal family.

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    Senior Member mgtower's Avatar
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    Re: Grandparents

    One grandfather gassed himself in in an oven when my father was just a kid, my grandmother (his wife) was a soul sucking miserable complaining bitch that hated everyone and everything.

    My other grandfather was a stern man that ran a tight ship, was also a numbers man for Lucky Luciano, prior to that he ran his own speak easy at age 18, until he was approached by Luciano with a .38 ultimatum to surrender his speak easy and start booking numbers. He was feared as much as he was respected and never unjust, he was built like a brick shithouse and toured with Charles Atlas when he was young. He filled my head with priceless wisdom using proverbs that made sense. My grandmother was somewhat mean when we were young and changed her tune as she aged becoming likable, laughable, and even fun! (oddity)

    My children and grandchildren lay in the ash pit of cultural change, where under these changes they truly belong. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, linage and heritage are nothing but rust...

    In the beginning, it only ate men, now it's coming for the women and children, and nothing can stop it.

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    Senior Member O.G.'s Avatar
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    Re: Grandparents

    Gramps A was a mans man. An awesome male role model. Gram A took care of me and a cousin at lunch and after school till our folks got home after work. Never any doubt she loved us both very much. Then Gramp A died. Gram A remarried about 5 years later. Married the exact opposite of Gramp A. A total wuss. She had his balls in her purse always. She turned into a flaming bitch as well. Later in life I realized it was Gramp A's masculinity that kept her in check. She just knew he would not stand to be treated in that way.

    Gramp B was a hard core alky. Always belittled my dad. Favored my dad's brother. Who could do no wrong. I didn't miss the old drunk one bit when he passed. Gram B was a sweet woman. No doubt she loved me through and through. I miss being in the kitchen with her. Always did her best to make sure everything was perfect. From the table cloth to the meal. It was always her best.

    3 out of 4 was pretty good. Gramp A was amazing. I patterned much of myself from him. Smart, strong, friendly, brilliant smile. Hard worker, firm when needed. Playful or fierce as needed. Always just the right amount of each, depending on the situation.
    "People are always angry at anyone who chooses very individual standards for his life; because of the extraordinary treatment which that man grants to himself, they feel degraded, like ordinary beings."
    - Nietzsche


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    Senior Member Chris007's Avatar
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    Re: Grandparents

    My grandparents on my father's side were really nice. Grandpa lived until 98 and was sharp as a tack. He was a tailor. Grandma was more quiet but nice as well.
    On my mother's side my grandpa died before I was born. My grandma was super nice and I actually lived with her for a few years when my parents were political refugees and had to leave me behind until they could extradite me to be with them in their new country.

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    Re: Grandparents

    I only knew vaguely of my grandfather, a well-respected highly ranked devout Muslim man in his town by all accounts. He died when I was four and the story's always that he insists that out of all the grandchildren I'm to be taken care of and looked after the most. Maybe he knew something I didn't. My grandmother died before I was born. On my father's side, my grandfather was also dead before I was born. I grew up with my grandmother who is still alive by the way. She was too old to raise a fast-growing impressionable boy like me, so I had to do most of the grow-up on my own. Luckily for me there were men in the neighborhood who I looked up to and learned a few things from...good and bad. She didn't care what I do or who I hang with...she does her thing and I do mine. The only time she raised a fuss was when she found out I was hanging out with the prostitute next door...that beautiful bitch next door took me under her wings (the night bird just took a liking to me for reasons unknown), spent copious amount of time at her place, she taught me things about women, men, and the ways of the world...
    Last edited by Hedon; July 6, 2022 at 4:13 PM.

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    Re: Grandparents

    My Maternal Grandmother was very manipulative and controlling, especially towards my mother who then tried the same shit on me and failed miserably. My Maternal Grandfather was very quiet and didn't speak much English. I really didn't know them that well despite spending a lot of time with them. When I would ask my grandmother anything about the old country or relatives she would give very vague answers and sometimes just lie out right before ending the conversation lol. She still wrote to them though so she was in contact and even managed to go back there late in her life. They were from Ukraine and lived in Australia in a Ukrainian populated area and really didn't assimilate all that much to Australian culture.

    I never knew my Paternal Grandfather, he was out of the picture well before I existed. He was in a bomber squadron during World War 2, he survived the war but according to my dad the war changed him and he would beat my dad and his mother a lot. My Paternal Grandmother I also only barely knew, I only met her less than 6 times and I could be overestimating that number. She seemed kind and always had interesting stuff. She lived in the bush in what I recall was a rather basic shack. I was quite young so it was like a different world to my comfy suburban house. I think she had a horse. My fathers side was from Germany and lived there during WW2, she would be paranoid about the Russians which is why she lived out in the bush as she believed when the Russians invaded they would never go that far out.

    I think one of the reasons I am such a loner is I never had that close knit family.

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    Senior Member stanmsl's Avatar
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    Re: Grandparents

    Quote Originally Posted by BeenThereDoneThat View Post
    My mother's father was an alcoholic, although never identified as such during his lifetime. Alcohol and watching sports on TV were his two escapes. My grandmother was the classic unhappy housewife, bored to tears and not having much of a purpose other than cooking food. They both died before age 70.
    Society was a lot better off overall but I believe more individuals than we ever realize paid the price with marriages like this. Something the trad cons should take note of especially now people live a lot longer.

    Mum's parents - She died early (59) he retired at 65 and did little with his life other watch TV and smoke 50 a day for the last 5 years.

    Dad's parents - Split up before I was born, she also died early. He was the most independent and was socially active right up until a week before he went at 85.

    I got on well with all of them.
    Men are becoming MGTOW by the millions, most without ever having heard the term. They are simply doing what all living organisms finding themselves in a toxic environment do. They adapt to it or remove themselves from it. Females are not liking either the adaptations or the removal.

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    Re: Grandparents

    Quote Originally Posted by stanmsl View Post
    Society was a lot better off overall but I believe more individuals than we ever realize paid the price with marriages like this. Something the trad cons should take note of especially now people live a lot longer.
    .
    When I was young, I thought my family was uniquely screwed up. Then with much more experience I understand there is frequently some serious dysfunction going on when seeing past the surface of any family situation. We know our own experience and close relatives deeply. What we see in others is mostly just the social presentation.

    3 brothers I've known all my life came from what appeared to be an ideal trad-con family. The father worked a good job. The mother was a content housewife. The extended family and grandparents were involved. They all went to church on Sunday. It sure looked good on the surface.

    Two of the brothers married single mothers, two times each. After they got used by the first, they went out and found another. Neither ever had biological children of his own. One relies heavily on alcohol to get by. The 3rd brother is on his second wife. He did have children rather late. He's a good BSer so I don't know how happy he is in the situation.

    I don't know fully what was going on under the surface, but one way or another, the supposedly trad-con upbringing didn't prepare these guys to function well in the modern world.

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    Re: Grandparents

    Looks like another golden idol is tarnished. I should have known. Least some of you had good ones.

    I'm a boomer, and as such I saw many of our parents. Boomer parents were better than the kids they raised, least a lot of the time.
    Every day I make the world a little bit worse.


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