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  1. #1
    Junior Member Royal-C's Avatar
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    Fucked by marriage at a young age

    I never realized how fucked we are in marriage until it happened to my friend. He recovered from drugs, and stayed clean for 2 years. He got a great job after completing tech school and quickly increased his social meter. Eventually he'd hook up with a girl we knew from school. I introduced them at a halloween party, fast forward 14 months later he is on a knee proposing to her. They lived and grew together. Had a child together, had a dog together, had nice(paid off) vehicles, and lived in a beautiful apartment together. He changed his schedule to care for the child so she could work her long shifts as a nurse, and he would supervise big crews for a large electrical company on large contracted jobs. I was the best man at his wedding...........

    Thanks to technology today, he found out she was cheating on him(only after a year of marriage). He witnessed it on her apple watch as they were messaging each other. He stayed quiet and just continued to gather evidence. Mad man. When he confronted her she cried wolf, claiming he was on drugs and cheating on her, to her family. The father immediately "calls out" my friend. He then presents his evidence. Instead of the family shaming the wife, they ask why he had such surveillance on her, as if it was his fault. To which he simply replied, she has as much access to me as i do to her.

    I have watched my friend go through hell dealing with lawyers, fighting over ownership, and eventually his own child. The in laws and ex wife filed a false assault charge which immediately put a halt to him seeing his kid. They even convinced my own friends family that he was at fault. I fear he has even turned back to drugs in the middle of all this. It was so sudden to everyone, and he was demonized so quickly. Part of me wants to tell him to move to a new town and start a new life. What is some advice I could give him??

  2. #2
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    Re: Fucked by marriage at a young age

    Tried to edit my post and it deleted.

    Every town has a corner. If he moves he will for sure use again. He's probably using again anyway, since during traumatic stress that's the first thing to most former addicts do. Everyone knows that and it's why she was able to convince two families, and always will. Same for alcoholics. Forever stained. I would be more concerned your friend will take his own life over this. It hasn't even really started for him yet. He still has whatever shit they pull during the divorce.

  3. #3
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    Re: Fucked by marriage at a young age

    There's an apt Aussie saying about these poor men: "Some people just need to piss on the electric fence for themselves."

  4. #4

    Re: Fucked by marriage at a young age

    There's nothing more destructive to a young man's life than marriage. You pay for that mistake over a lifetime.

  5. #5
    Senior Member ResidentEvil7's Avatar
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    Re: Fucked by marriage at a young age

    Quote Originally Posted by DangZagnut View Post
    There's nothing more destructive to a young man's life than marriage. You pay for that mistake over a lifetime.
    That's why I refuse to get married and have kids or go to college, because it's a NeverEnding amount of debt slavery and there's no rewards for it. The wedding is expensive; the marriage maintenance is expensive; the house and car(s) are expensive; the divorce is expensive and the kids are REAL expensive for at least 18 years. I prefer to live a simple fun life and everything I just said is not going to happen if you get married and have kids or go to worthless expensive college.

    Instead of spending my life on a hellish marriage or family life, I rather spend my time and money entirely on MY well being and my future arcade and pinball man cave.
    It's a man's world and we need to take it by the throat and make it give us what we desire.

  6. #6
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    Re: Fucked by marriage at a young age

    Quote Originally Posted by ResidentEvil7 View Post
    That's why I refuse to get married and have kids or go to college, because it's a NeverEnding amount of debt slavery and there's no rewards for it. The wedding is expensive; the marriage maintenance is expensive; the house and car(s) are expensive; the divorce is expensive and the kids are REAL expensive for at least 18 years. I prefer to live a simple fun life and everything I just said is not going to happen if you get married and have kids or go to worthless expensive college.

    Instead of spending my life on a hellish marriage or family life, I rather spend my time and money entirely on MY well being and my future arcade and pinball man cave.
    You may regret that when you are lonely late in life.

  7. #7
    Senior Member ResidentEvil7's Avatar
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    Re: Fucked by marriage at a young age

    Quote Originally Posted by BedroomBully View Post
    You may regret that when you are lonely late in life.
    No, I won't, because my best friend who I love as if he's my second older brother is going to come with me when we get our own place. But right now, money and unemployment due to both of us having disability is a factor, but we're on SSI due to our disabilities.
    It's a man's world and we need to take it by the throat and make it give us what we desire.

  8. #8
    Junior Member Royal-C's Avatar
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    Re: Fucked by marriage at a young age

    I know a fellow co worker who got divorced and is still going through the process. says he is never getting married again but has a dedicated girlfriend for life lmao.

  9. #9
    Senior Member Malinois's Avatar
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    Re: Fucked by marriage at a young age

    Quote Originally Posted by BedroomBully View Post
    You may regret that when you are lonely late in life.
    Now why would you say a thing like that? lol

  10. #10
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    Re: Fucked by marriage at a young age

    Quote Originally Posted by Malinois View Post
    Now why would you say a thing like that? lol
    Because I'm old and lonely

  11. #11
    Senior Member mgtower's Avatar
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    Re: Fucked by marriage at a young age

    Quote Originally Posted by BedroomBully View Post
    Because I'm old and lonely
    Get a dog, they use eye contact too and always glad to see you. It's good when you're not the only eyeballs around.

  12. #12
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    Re: Fucked by marriage at a young age

    Quote Originally Posted by mgtower View Post
    Get a dog, they use eye contact too and always glad to see you. It's good when you're not the only eyeballs around.
    I'm allergic to dogs and honestly hate the things.

    The closest I have to comfort are my guitar and mandolin. I like to sit at the beach and play but the city closed it because delta variant might spread there. Yeah....

  13. #13
    Senior Member mgtower's Avatar
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    Re: Fucked by marriage at a young age

    Quote Originally Posted by BedroomBully View Post
    I'm allergic to dogs and honestly hate the things.

    The closest I have to comfort are my guitar and mandolin. I like to sit at the beach and play but the city closed it because delta variant might spread there. Yeah....

  14. #14

    Re: Fucked by marriage at a young age

    None of that is really surprising, shame he did all that self-improvement only to waste it on a woman, only when you reach the finish line will a chick actually show interest in a guy - you have to be lucky to even stumble on to marriage statistics let alone how actual relationships work.

    Plenty still get married, and plenty will still get divorced. Thought it was a travesty for the education system to never educate men on these risks, but on second thought society would be shooting itself in the head if it actually did.


    Nothing but a modern day meat-grinder.

  15. #15

    Re: Fucked by marriage at a young age

    Quote Originally Posted by ResidentEvil7 View Post
    No, I won't, because my best friend who I love as if he's my second older brother is going to come with me when we get our own place. But right now, money and unemployment due to both of us having disability is a factor, but we're on SSI due to our disabilities.
    This is what I plan on doing too haha! I feel like I would be much happier and have a much more fufilling life just hanging out with my best friend every day rather than living with a woman because society tells me to.

  16. #16
    Senior Member ResidentEvil7's Avatar
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    Re: Fucked by marriage at a young age

    Quote Originally Posted by RaptorHunter182 View Post
    This is what I plan on doing too haha! I feel like I would be much happier and have a much more fufilling life just hanging out with my best friend every day rather than living with a woman because society tells me to.
    It's a much better life that way. I rather be with my best buddy (of 19 years so far) for the rest of my life rather than getting married to a woman who would hurt me in all ways a woman can. We took care of each other when we could. He used to pay some for gas money to my previous car; treat me to buffet lunch or dinners and movies and I do the same for him in return. We're like close brothers. We agreed that we'll share a place together when we both can support ourselves.

    I don't care what society tells me to do. The kids I went to school with (all were my enemy) all thought there was something wrong with me because I didn't want to have a girlfriend, nor have sex ever. Well, it's been over 20 years since I graduated high school and I bet those same people are, by now, broke or broken hearts or in jail and they deserved it. While I live the good life, I bet those guys are living in hell because they think they need a female in their lives.

    When I was a kid, my dad thought I was going to get married and have 3 kids, but now at 39, he accepts the fact I won't be a married man with any kids. Even my mom says that marriage would be devastating to me.
    It's a man's world and we need to take it by the throat and make it give us what we desire.

  17. #17
    Super Moderator Mr Wombat's Avatar
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    Re: Fucked by marriage at a young age

    Quote Originally Posted by Royal-C View Post
    Instead of the family shaming the wife, they ask why he had such surveillance on her, as if it was his fault. To which he simply replied,
    Instant response: don't reply to that. Correct method is go meta.

    By go meta, I mean that you make the topic of your next reply not *what* the person has just said, but *the fact that they said it*.

    * "what do you mean by that?"
    * "how dare you say that!"
    * "you are only saying that because …"

    It's not a method that will fix an issue, resolve a problem, convey information, correct a misunderstanding. It's purely verbal judo. It's for when you are under attack, for when the people that you are speaking to are your enemies.

  18. #18
    Senior Member mgtower's Avatar
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    Re: Fucked by marriage at a young age

    Quote Originally Posted by Mr Wombat View Post
    Instant response: don't reply to that. Correct method is go meta.

    By go meta, I mean that you make the topic of your next reply not *what* the person has just said, but *the fact that they said it*.

    * "what do you mean by that?"
    * "how dare you say that!"
    * "you are only saying that because "

    It's not a method that will fix an issue, resolve a problem, convey information, correct a misunderstanding. It's purely verbal judo. It's for when you are under attack, for when the people that you are speaking to are your enemies.
    It's a coffer dam of ignorance to combat a flood of aggressive ignorance.
    I like it!

    I think I do that automatically, like time we were heading back from Sugarbush ski resort in Vermont. On that day I responded to a no-nuke-kook complaining about a thorium leak in the now shuttled Vermont Yankee nuclear power plant. I told her not to worry, the Connecticut river will delude it and everything will be fine. She got so upset, shit you not, her cunt farted! I have a friend that can verify this fact, as we walked out of the convenience store under a hail of insulting innuendos from an angry crunch-faced woman that smelled like cunt farts! We were hysterically laughing as we made our way to the car! It was as if I slapped an ice-cream cone out of the hands of a 5 yo!

    I trolled her like a PRO!

    Last edited by mgtower; September 23, 2021 at 2:23 PM.

  19. #19

    Re: Fucked by marriage at a young age

    Quote Originally Posted by BedroomBully View Post
    You may regret that when you are lonely late in life.
    If you do the right thing, you never regret it. And I think you accidentally equated being alone with loneliness. If you like your own company, you're not lonely. Only people who are uncomfortable with their own company are experiencing loneliness.

  20. #20

    Re: Fucked by marriage at a young age

    Quote Originally Posted by BedroomBully View Post
    You may regret that when you are lonely late in life.
    BS. Alone, but never lonely. Cut the shaming BS.
    "Courage is the catalyst that manifest ambitions." - Transcendent Sacred Courage


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