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  1. #1
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    Friends & Friendships

    Yo folks,

    I have been wondering how you deal with the issue of friends and friendship, especially after understanding the Red Pill and subsequently Going Your Own Way ?

    Because I find myself questioning the very nature of friendships and friends these days. I mean, back in the day I would be friends with someone because it feels good to be around them or because their parents knew my parents or because we were in the same class or because we were of the same race or because we were from the same state or because we were from the same country.

    But now, I do not feel or do not think that way anymore. I can no longer relate to someone on the basis of nationality or race or classroom space sharing or what have you. Damn it, most of the time when I talk to these people now, I have to actually stop thinking. If I was actually being me, being myself, I get these accusations like "You are personally insulting me." or "You have to respect the differences." or "You are need to care about people's feelings. " How am I supposed to respect shit that doesn't make much sense ?

    I find myself valuing and with people who share an intellectual common ground or a philosophical common ground. I find myself valuing people who have a rational view of the world. I mean these people might have different hobbies than mine, they might look completely different to me, they might like food that I will never eat. Shit these people might even be someone I will never know, across the glob, wearing a pseudonym and I find myself having some sense of camaraderie with them.

    So what do I do ? Ditch these blue pillers ? Distance myself from them ? I am seriously thinking about outright avoiding them because if I cannot be myself with these people, if I have to self censor, then they are no friends of mine. However, I would like some advice on this.

    Has anyone here experienced this gradual falling out and distancing ? If so how did you deal with it ?

    Whatever it is though, I am glade I found places like this. I might not have seen any of you face to face, but I sure as hell would not mind calling you folks, friend.

  2. #2
    Senior Member O.G.'s Avatar
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    Re: Friends & Friendships

    I had to learn to partition things off in my mind. Social guidelines once were to not talk about politics or religion in social settings. I don't talk about my MGTOW beliefs with most others as well.

    I still have some blue pill friends. There are things I like to do with them. Some I've had for a long time. Now when I see them jump to their wife's beck and call, or busting ass working to support "the children" I just laugh to myself. Then I feel fortunate it's not me. So I interact with most people based on our mutual likes. I accept that they may still be slaves to a system they don't understand.

    While not easy, I have found some new friends too who at least understand the MGTOW outlook. That has worked well too.

    For the majority of people I just feel that once in a while it's okay to hang out and play with the sheep. I just don't waken them as they sleep walk their way through the system, while it grinds them down.
    "People are always angry at anyone who chooses very individual standards for his life; because of the extraordinary treatment which that man grants to himself, they feel degraded, like ordinary beings."
    - Nietzsche


  3. #3
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    Re: Friends & Friendships

    That's why I can't find new friends and I'm ok with that, when people grew older in most cases them become boring, lost pasion and them only live for his family, make money and work, so is very hard to find someone when that people only want shallow things and don't look for new ideas or anything else. Also, after the Red Pill you becames like a atheist in a religious town, you see why is everything wrong but you can say it because the ignorance is huge out there. Anyone with a critic mind like us MGTOW is a pariah in this world full of ignorance but if you keep looking you can find good people out there, sometimes in people who looks like nothing you find a great mind but them don't show it easily because of ghosting or protection, tired of all the BS of the world. Try new people and places, forget about the regular metting type and look in new places. Sorry if my english is not the best.

  4. #4
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    Re: Friends & Friendships

    I consider blue pill a spectrum just like red pill is. You say the question the very nature of friendship. Friendships exist, just like relationships exist because they provide mutual benefits for both parties. Most people here say that the balance in relationships between men and women have ceased to exist. While there are still benefits for the man (like sex for example), the risks to engage in such relationships has increased so much that it is no longer beneficial for a man to start such relationships. That's what we say on this forum anyway and I agree with that perspective.

    For friendships between men this is very different. There are no risks for divorce, rape accusations, severe financial loss etc.

    Most of us on this forum are fairly introverted and individualistic, so perhaps we don't need to talk to friends as much as others do, however I really like my friendships. They are people I don't talk to every day but perhaps every three weeks. I always interact with them for a long time. This consists of either simply enjoying life together on all sorts of adventures or exploring ideas together through conversation. I have friends who are red pill, purple pill and really blue pill, but they are all interesting intellectuals and they also all provide emotional support on the rare occasion that it is really needed. I wouldn't want to throw those friendships away just because they have a different view on gender dynamics, in the same way I wouldn't end a great friendship just because a friend has a different opinion on religion or politics. If I want to talk about gender dynamics I simply go to this forum.

    I have four real friends and for me that's enough. I don't make much effort to make new friends, but if I could relate to someone as well as I can to my close friends right now I wouldn't waste the opportunity. I will however say that you shouldn't welcome female friends. In my experience women always try to get something out of a relationship at your expense. They don't understand mutualism, some men do.

  5. #5

    Re: Friends & Friendships

    I used to firmly believe that time, which weakens love, strengthens friendship, but I begin to wonder whether Hazlitt may have been right when he sadly noted "The youth is better than the old age of friendship." This is true especially when old friends marry and enter the abyss, never to return... "After thirty a man wakes up sad every morning excepting perhaps five or six until the day of his death." -- Well, those men.

    Quote Originally Posted by F. Scott Fitzgerald
    Without a few cocktails social intercourse becomes a torment. It is no longer spontaneous; it is a convention by which they agree to shut their eyes to the fact that the other men and women they know are tired and dull and fat, and yet must be put up with as politely as they themselves are put up with in their turn.

    I have seen many happy young couples--but I have seldom seen a happy home after husband and wife are thirty.
    Quote Originally Posted by Darth Sin View Post
    Damn it, most of the time when I talk to these people now, I have to actually stop thinking. If I was actually being me, being myself, I get these accusations like "You are personally insulting me." or "You have to respect the differences." or "You are need to care about people's feelings. " How am I supposed to respect shit that doesn't make much sense ?
    They will simply call you an agitator, as if that resolves the issue. When their illusion of a happy life is for once questioned, when those beliefs they stubbornly stick to as maxims are destroyed, they have nothing left. "A man can be destroyed but not defeated" -- as long as he has something to believe in he can stand up and continue. It's better to leave it unquestioned.

    Close friends are rare; better to have those others as intimate or at least pleasant acquaintances. I have regular contact with complete fools. I dare say that without regret, harsh or not. They can be fine people -- not as truly close friends, but as pleasant people to be with in a few spare moments. I can also save them from complete ruination through women: at least I kept most of them from marrying. Yet those old friends who are now "tired and dull and fat" are better left to time. Just -- just leave the option open. If ever they escape from the hell they've walked into I'm there for them. I don't hold petty grudges, that is for women. Call me after 10 years to say your marriage broke up and you can expect an open house and attentive ears!
    And when her lips so sweetly move
    The soul such height attain,
    You're free, yet would no longer rove
    But lay you down in chains.

  6. #6

    Re: Friends & Friendships

    I've lost all my friendships. Males define themselves by status and all men define themselves by women. If they have a girlfriend, they expect to be seen as 'superior' than you. This has happened multiple times to me. But when they found out that I didn't care and actually felt sympathy for them, they began to snap out of their Blue Pill, saw their girlfriend as a parasite, and got rid of her. Do they then join Red Pill land? No! They go get another girlfriend and expect to be seen as 'superior' again. The cycle continues.

    This is why I do not have male friendships any longer. I've tried doing the 'partition things to your likes' and that might work if you are older. But as the younger generation, women and men accept males being the Second Sex, it no longer becomes possible.

    You see, I am either The Loser or they are The Loser. One has to be true. Since I do not accept being a loser because I do not have 'a woman', and they don't accept being a 'loser' by being the Second Sex, no friendship is possible.

  7. #7
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    Re: Friends & Friendships

    Quote Originally Posted by Darth Sin View Post
    ...
    ...
    ...
    ...
    Has anyone here experienced this gradual falling out and distancing ? If so how did you deal with it ?
    ....
    This is probably a very personal question that each one of us here deals with based on his own personality. Here is my take on the question. I find the idea of getting in the car to drive somewhere to be in the same physical location as another human being utterly absurd. And I do not invite people to my home. Another way of saying this is, I do not hang out with people.

    If, as I go about my life (such as sitting by the pool, at a restaurant, waiting near a garage for my car to be ready, etc.), I happen to stumble upon another human being, and we strike a conversation, I have no problem with it, as long as the topic is not boring me to death.

    I find phone conversations to be too intrusive, so I don't chit chat on the phone. If somebody wants to chat, they can message me on Facebook, and I will keep chatting as long as I enjoy the chat more than the alternative potential uses of my time.

    The above is true without regard to gender, color of pill, etc.

  8. #8
    Administrator jagrmeister's Avatar
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    Re: Friends & Friendships

    Friendships matter to me. People's politics or red pill orientation doesn't really change our friendship. I actually don't know what political orientation most of my friends have and they don't know mine. We talk about sports, our work, what we're doing in our spare time, our travels. I value the company of other people; and am willing to invest in it. We'll meet up for a drink or coffee; hit the driving range.

    Sometimes our pride or ego has us thinking that we shouldn't tolerate X or initiate Y. No one's perfect, including ourselves.

    I do draw the line at blue pill men who cause me problems. I hung out with a guy for awhile (met through work), went hiking a few times. He seemed like a decent guy even though he was blue pill, married, kid; spent the weekend driving his wife and mother in law around town, for example. One time we went out for drinks. An older couple, who were both drunk, told me I should date their daughter. They sat down and went through photo after photo on their phone. It's one thing to offer (even that is kind of awkward), it's another thing to go on and on about it. The girl even HAD a boyfriend but they didn't like him. This idiot "friend" kept encouraging them and telling me I should do it. I was visibly peeved but he kept egging me on. That's one thing I can't stand - someone has no awareness, because they will always annoy you, and then claim ignorance later. Finally I put my money on the table and walked out. Never connected with him since.

    To me, the ultimately satisfying thing about friends is they have your back. That's a non-negotiable quality in my friendships.

    Some of you may be wondering -- who is this Jagrmeister guy? Have a look at some of my posts from MGTOW Forums--> Jagr Archive (collection of my articles)



    Stuff I do: Box, Surf, Tennis (3.5/4.0), Downhill skiing. I lift 4x a week and have for 10 years.
    Stuff I like: Comedy shows, NBA, Reading Non-Fiction (sociology, philosophy, biographies).
    Random facts: I admire Steve Jobs. Favorite travel spots (Russia, Central America).
    *If you're on Twitter, follow me: MGTOW_Jagr

  9. #9
    Senior Member Alik Sakharov's Avatar
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    Re: Friends & Friendships

    Every single dog is different even if its of the same breed .

    We are all so so different that small talk ( white lies ) is the only thing that keeps us somehow together . Yeah small talk and gossip to be more precise .

    I used to be hard on others too but after some harsh experience i realised that im just another motherfucker that wants to get what he wants . Just like all the rest .

    We are hostages of the circumstances not the blacksmiths of our destiny , tell that bullshit to someone born with cerebral crip .
    You cant keep a player down!
    Dont hate him , hate your fuking bullshit game !

  10. #10
    Senior Member Eskorteprinsen's Avatar
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    Re: Friends & Friendships

    When I was younger I had a great deal of friends.They have all gone now....married,kids,settled down.
    They don't understand that a man can be happy and alone (not lonely) in this world.
    I think most people look down on single men,at least when they are in their late thirties and up.
    Almost like we are losers,who couldn't get a wife and kids.I see this at work,when I meet locals,
    my hairdresser,dentist,even my own family.Little do they know that I am happy with my lifestyle,
    but I am hiding my expressions from them.

  11. #11
    Senior Member BeijaFlor's Avatar
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    Re: Friends & Friendships

    Many people don't seem to understand there's a difference between "alone" and "lonely." They are as addicted to "company" as junkies are addicted to crack. They simply cannot understand a person who is comfortable and happy in his own company, by himself.
    Last edited by BeijaFlor; March 21, 2015 at 2:44 PM.
    "The Red Pill is the start of the journey, not the end." - Chairborne

    "Our most dangerous enemies are men who have no loyalty to men." - William Noy

    "I am not going to sacrifice my freedom and wealth for your ideals." - Primus Pilus

    "If you can't be happy on you're own, you can't be happy -- full stop." - Wilfred

    My introduction: I Was MGTOW When MGTOW Wasn't Cool...

    My blog: Beyond The Sunset

  12. #12
    Senior Member Octavian's Avatar
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    Re: Friends & Friendships

    In the Modern Matriarchy, all social contacts exist to support the Feminine Imperative.

    As such, keeping friends gets tough real fast. They might be good people-but they work for women. Most men grow up and live According to The Script. They define their lives by it, as society says a man should.

    It used to be a woman's social currency in the patriarchy was her worth as a wife and a mother-essentially she had to marry to become a socially accepted person.

    Now, with women driving society, its inverted- a mans social currency is only as good as the women he serves . I actually broke away from a circle of friends because they kept trying to set me up with single moms and such.

    The TL: DR point; women work for women, and most every man works for women. That creates a viewpoint problem when a man goes his own way.
    Last edited by BeijaFlor; March 21, 2015 at 4:14 PM.

  13. #13
    Senior Member Fully Completely's Avatar
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    Re: Friends & Friendships

    My experiences with friends that became couples are not good. Being that I have always wanted to avoid the responsibility of being in a couple the obvious result was that of being ostracized, most often on my own doing. The past times I have given in and went along with the couples I could not feel anything but being a third wheel, a mental case that needs help, that they are doing me a favor, and by feeling pity from them. Of course the woman always brings up the subject, then attempts to set me up to disastrous results. Simpler to keep away. The only friends I let in my house now are single, blue pillars not welcome as things go south real quick in the way of criticisms or belligerent attitudes towards me.
    " It's never too late to have a happy childhood "


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