Thread: Former coworkers call me to ask if I have a girlfriend(!?)

So there I am, on my day off, bothering no one. The phone rings. It is a co-worker from a job I'm no longer at . I have not spoken to these people in over half a year. He says he wants to know how I'm doing but leads with "We bet you had a girlfriend now..." WTF? I completely picked up and moved and started an entirely new job. I don't have time for this crap.

For some background, all these guys are simps. Their wives stay at home or work a non-job like 'teacher'. One of them even told me, "Don't marry. It's awful." He loves his children but certainly doesn't love the wife. You guys know the drill.

Even when I worked there, they were obsessed that I was single. I'm like, "WTF?" Don't they know any single guys? "Are you gay?" one would ask. How does being single mean you're gay? Note that nearly all these guys were Hispanic. Maybe that has something to do with it.

Have you guys ever encountered this situation? My gut is telling me they are obsessed over my single-ness because they're jealous. Their lives suck, so they want my life to suck too.

Psychologically I've broken it down into two reasons why people say this to me.:

1. Confirmation of their terrible fucking decisions in life. It's the bystander effect but expressed without the group presence. They conformed to the societal norm but they feel like shit so they wonder if they made the right decision all the time. So to make sure of this, they need to ask the people who didn't conform. That way they feel reaffirmed in their actions that even though their situation feels bad, everyone else is doing it so this is what they're supposed to do.
2. People who know you are always more critical towards you. You see a man with a Ferrari and your first thought is either nothing or wish that you had one for yourself (in very severe cases, you'd be negative anyway - this is a litmus test to how terrible of a person you are). If you see someone you know with a Ferrari, you ask questions like how did he get it? or who did he rob? etc. It's always critical and negative because you never believe that someone you know could do that legitimately because that means that this person is legitimately better than you. And you can't handle that. In your mind, it's a competition and you lost. This is the number one motivator for people giving their friends negative advice.
(Side note, most people actually suffer with number 2 and this is a source for a lot of relationship problems - mainly platonic and familial; and can cause you to develop a mindset of depression)

Originally Posted by Macavity

Even when I worked there, they were obsessed that I was single. I'm like, "WTF?" Don't they know any single guys? "Are you gay?" one would ask. How does being single mean you're gay? Note that nearly all these guys were Hispanic. Maybe that has something to do with it.

Have you guys ever encountered this situation? My gut is telling me they are obsessed over my single-ness because they're jealous. Their lives suck, so they want my life to suck too.

They had to have some reason to call besides your welfare. Maybe one of their women has a friend who needs a chump and is leaning on him. Those chicketas aren't going to support themselves.

Your last 2 sentences say it all.
The old saying "Misery loves company" is only partially true...it's more like "Misery loves miserable company."

Guaranteed these guys are envious of you with a passion.

Originally Posted by Macavity

Have you guys ever encountered this situation? My gut is telling me they are obsessed over my single-ness because they're jealous. Their lives suck, so they want my life to suck too.

Other than an aunt and her daughter-in-law, I've never had anyone seriously care about my relationship status and even those two quit caring well over 20 years ago. My guess is they're trying to set you up as frog notes or they were just bored.

I never wonder why they ask, I have too much going on to think about their reasons to ask...

When asked: "I am working on myself, I don't need to bring baggage into a relationship".

Baggage meaning RP truths.... Women would classify my RP attitude as emotional baggage.

I tell them I'm not equipped to handle that level of mental gymnastics!

I get exhausted just thinking about it!

Originally Posted by mgtower

I tell them I'm not equipped to handle that level of mental gymnastics!

I get exhausted just thinking about it!

I only say, “Self Preservation.”

The look on their faces…..

Originally Posted by WanderLuster

I only say, “Self Preservation.”

The look on their faces…..

To all the girls I loved,,, I'd rather hammer a railroad spike through my forehead than relive any moment with each and every one of you!

Originally Posted by Macavity

So there I am, on my day off, bothering no one. The phone rings. It is a co-worker from a job I'm no longer at . I have not spoken to these people in over half a year. He says he wants to know how I'm doing but leads with "We bet you had a girlfriend now..." WTF? I completely picked up and moved and started an entirely new job. I don't have time for this crap.

For some background, all these guys are simps. Their wives stay at home or work a non-job like 'teacher'. One of them even told me, "Don't marry. It's awful." He loves his children but certainly doesn't love the wife. You guys know the drill.

Even when I worked there, they were obsessed that I was single. I'm like, "WTF?" Don't they know any single guys? "Are you gay?" one would ask. How does being single mean you're gay? Note that nearly all these guys were Hispanic. Maybe that has something to do with it.

Have you guys ever encountered this situation? My gut is telling me they are obsessed over my single-ness because they're jealous. Their lives suck, so they want my life to suck too.

My 2 cents:

You let them know that you were MGTOW. Not in so many words, you probably never used the term, but you made it clear you weren’t interested.

Move on a few years and these guys are sitting in the pub (or some similar setting) reminiscing and your name comes up. They discuss shit and come to the conclusion that you weren’t any different to them, that you’d succumb and fall in line just like they did because, due to their own indoctrination they’re incapable of believing everyone isn’t just like them.

So, one plucks up the courage to give you a call to validate their choice, or maybe to mock you that they were right and you were wrong.

I hope you made him realise what a twat-worshipping fool he is by explaining how happy you are without all the bullshit he has to put up with.

Originally Posted by Macavity

So there I am, on my day off, bothering no one. The phone rings. It is a co-worker from a job I'm no longer at . I have not spoken to these people in over half a year. He says he wants to know how I'm doing but leads with "We bet you had a girlfriend now..." WTF? I completely picked up and moved and started an entirely new job. I don't have time for this crap.

For some background, all these guys are simps. Their wives stay at home or work a non-job like 'teacher'. One of them even told me, "Don't marry. It's awful." He loves his children but certainly doesn't love the wife. You guys know the drill.

Even when I worked there, they were obsessed that I was single. I'm like, "WTF?" Don't they know any single guys? "Are you gay?" one would ask. How does being single mean you're gay? Note that nearly all these guys were Hispanic. Maybe that has something to do with it.

Have you guys ever encountered this situation? My gut is telling me they are obsessed over my single-ness because they're jealous. Their lives suck, so they want my life to suck too.

Hispanic culture is all about masculinity and getting pussy. I am not being racist but every Hispanic man I ever knew had a wife and women on the side they were banging.

If you are a guy like me that doesn't worship the all mighty vagina then they think something is wrong with you. I mentioned my 60 something year old neighbor who constantly tries to pick fights with me. He is like 5'3 and thinks he is Chuck Norris. He only talks about fighting or getting pussy. The truth is he is a sad frail old man who cries himself to sleep because he is so lonely.

Don't take any simp seriously. They just want you to be miserable like them. Misery loves company. If you do want the simp wants then they'll just laugh at you. I tell them to fuck off. They won't listen to anything else I say , no matter how many times I say it and I am sick of explaining myself. Fuck off is quick and right to the point.