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  1. #1
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    Ever think about packing up and starting over somewhere else?

    This is to those of you who are established in a career, maybe own a house, etc.

    I've been at the same job for many years, same house for longer, and have lived in the same area all of my life.

    Family is in the area (which can be both good and sometimes not-so-good). My job is not bad. Most of my co-workers are decent but I'm working for lower pay than I should be at this stage of my career. There are college grads that make more money starting out than I do with many years of experience. OTOH I like living in a small town environment with a low cost of living. That involves a somewhat of a long commute, however, which can be a real pain at times. Haven't found one of those remote jobs yet.

    Sometimes I think about chucking it all and renting some condo in a larger (but not huge) city with more job opportunities. Any of you ever do something like this? How did it work out?

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    Re: Ever think about packing up and starting over somewhere else?

    I moved from a mid-west town of 48,000 to a city of 2 million, to follow my job. Otherwise, I likely would have been laid off in that small town, where job opportunities were limited.

    Years later I moved again, to a city with metro area of 3.4 million.

    Worked out great. But it was the same company and they moved jobs around. You either went where the work was, or you got laid off.

    To clarify, I have never moved to a city that didn't have a job waiting for me.
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    Re: Ever think about packing up and starting over somewhere else?

    The rural west is full of one horse towns, villages and small city's you'd probably like. But without some sort of trade it's hard to find a decent job. That's why their small towns. You might get lucky, but the odds are not good.

    It's nothing for a small town person to have a job an hour away. A lot nicer hour than a city commute, but still an hour away. The small city's have more work alright, but the rent is far higher than the villages and one horse towns.

    Maybe in the long run a bigger town would be nice. My cousins family went from a village to a small city in Wyoming, and it worked out well for them. Their better off than they were in the village. But short term, a plan like this plan could be a pain in the ass. My cousin had a lot of help from her dad, and that made a big difference when they first moved. So without knowing more about you, I guess the answer is maybe.
    Every day I make the world a little bit worse.

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    Re: Ever think about packing up and starting over somewhere else?

    My ambition would be a job I can do remotely. So I would consider moving further out but down here a lot of country towns tend to be drug dens due to high youth unemployment. So the Hallmark movie dream that tends to get promoted.

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    Re: Ever think about packing up and starting over somewhere else?

    Quote Originally Posted by Unboxxed View Post
    I moved from a mid-west town of 48,000 to a city of 2 million, to follow my job. Otherwise, I likely would have been laid off in that small town, where job opportunities were limited.

    Years later I moved again, to a city with metro area of 3.4 million.

    Worked out great. But it was the same company and they moved jobs around. You either went where the work was, or you got laid off.

    To clarify, I have never moved to a city that didn't have a job waiting for me.
    I can relate to the midwest thing. Big cities have a ton of professional and tech jobs compared to smaller towns and rural areas. I have managed to stay employed but growth is limited.

  6. #6
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    Re: Ever think about packing up and starting over somewhere else?

    Quote Originally Posted by frog View Post
    The rural west is full of one horse towns, villages and small city's you'd probably like. But without some sort of trade it's hard to find a decent job. That's why their small towns. You might get lucky, but the odds are not good.

    It's nothing for a small town person to have a job an hour away. A lot nicer hour than a city commute, but still an hour away. The small city's have more work alright, but the rent is far higher than the villages and one horse towns.

    Maybe in the long run a bigger town would be nice. My cousins family went from a village to a small city in Wyoming, and it worked out well for them. Their better off than they were in the village. But short term, a plan like this plan could be a pain in the ass. My cousin had a lot of help from her dad, and that made a big difference when they first moved. So without knowing more about you, I guess the answer is maybe.
    Good points.

    > It's nothing for a small town person to have a job an hour away. A lot nicer hour than a city commute, but still an hour away.

    I have one of those type of commutes commutes. After being stranded twice in the last couple months and with winter approaching, I am reconsidering.

    > The small city's have more work alright, but the rent is far higher than the villages and one horse towns.

    That is true. In one city I'm looking at, rent is almost 3x my mortgage. Of course pay is higher as well. Cost of living gains are eaten up by gas, tolls, and other transportation costs, however.

    I do like having a home gym though. Difficult to build in a city apartment.

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    Re: Ever think about packing up and starting over somewhere else?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kryptic View Post
    My ambition would be a job I can do remotely. So I would consider moving further out but down here a lot of country towns tend to be drug dens due to high youth unemployment. So the Hallmark movie dream that tends to get promoted.
    A remote job would be ideal. One place I'm talking to is remote three days per week, but I would have to relocate as they would want the person they hire to be nearby.

  8. #8
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    Re: Ever think about packing up and starting over somewhere else?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kryptic View Post
    My ambition would be a job I can do remotely. So I would consider moving further out but down here a lot of country towns tend to be drug dens due to high youth unemployment. So the Hallmark movie dream that tends to get promoted.
    Meth is the wild card alright, and it's not just young people screwing up. And it can change overnight, a cool neighborhood today might be a shithole tomorrow. About all you can say is at least a lot of these people won't be in business forever.

    In practice, we get by most of the time. They rob people who are not home for the most part. They know country people will shoot first and ask questions later. With the police being many miles away, your on your own. They'll come, but it'll be all over before they arrive.
    Every day I make the world a little bit worse.

  9. #9

    Re: Ever think about packing up and starting over somewhere else?

    I was in a relatively small city of 40,000 people, and transferred to a large metro area of 2 million. A year later I found myself out of a job, with no social network at all. And it was an economic downturn at the time. So it made for a challenging couple of years. It worked out in the end, but sure wasn't easy.

    Every place has its good points and bad. Big cities have a lot of amenities, such as festivals, concerts, shows, sports teams museums and so on. There's always something going on. But the traffic can be horrendous. And crime is on an alarming upward trend. It's gotten to where news of the latest mass shooting hardly gets any attention. Downtowns in big cities are having a lot of problems. During the Covid era, businesses figured out how to have people work from home. So many office buildings are vacant, and supporting retail businesses are folding. Moving downtown was a trendy thing to do for many years, now this is reversing.

    It's tough to find a social network outside of a job. There's a lot of opportunity for shallow connections, but especially in the social media era, it's tough to form closer friendships. People are just too busy.

    A smaller big city has always seemed to me a good compromise. There would be some of the big city amenities while maybe not as many of the problems. In any case, it's definitely a good idea to have a plan together before making the move.

  10. #10
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    Re: Ever think about packing up and starting over somewhere else?

    Well, I did just that.

    In my late 20ís I ditched my career, sold my house, jumped on a train and set up a new life. The reasons for this are another story.

    How did it work out?

    Not well by most standards.

    But it wasnít all bad. I got to shed the skin that was foisted upon me. I got to be myself instead of behaving as others expected me to.

    No history with people means no expectations. It was a relief.

    Yet, setting up new acquaintances was a long process. For a long time it felt like, I dunno, like I was living like a tourist. Like I was there and part of things, but separate and apart from the locals who saw me as an outsider.

    That eventually changed and I became accepted as a part of the local community, but that being said I will NEVER be seen in the same way as someone who grew up here.

    Iím now in my fifties and am basically unemployable. All my tech knowledge from back in the day is mostly defunct now.

    But it depends on what youíre looking for.

    If youíre looking for a career then big cities are probably the place to move to. Be one of the ďinĒ people.

    For myself, I was looking for a place where I could be myself first and foremost.

    I got work outside my field (I.T.).

    I worked in bars for a few years. Not a great career move but it got me known amongst the locals and helped me settle in.

    Then;

    I worked in the medical field for 8 or 9 years (manufacture of stents and catheters) and while it was interesting for a while it ultimately led nowhere.

    Then, in my forties I became unemployed for reasons I wonít get in to. Iím now in my mid-fifties and itís unlikely Iíll ever see employment again.

    This may all seem like I fucked up royally, and there is a lot of truth in that.

    I wouldnít recommend it from a professional POV, then again times have changed: can you do your thing from home on-line? This would be a big difference to my own experiences.

    But I wasnít looking for wealth or progressing my career. Yeah that would have been a nice bonus but it wasnít first and foremost.

    I came from a financially poor background devastated with hostility (Northern Ireland during the height of ďThe TroublesĒ).

    I now live in peace and tranquillity (relatively speaking).

    This was my motivation, at least to a large extent.

    I now have friends. Friends that I can rely on when the shit hits the fan.

    So, it didnít work out well by most standards. I didnít manage to make my mark on the world. I donít have much in the way of material things and I donít have much money.

    Then again, I managed to find contentment in life.

    I think, on average, Iím doing O.K.

    Not great by any means, but O.K.

    What is it that you are looking for? A rhetorical question for you to ponder upon. I don't expect an answer.

  11. #11
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    Re: Ever think about packing up and starting over somewhere else?

    Quote Originally Posted by BeenThereDoneThat View Post
    I was in a relatively small city of 40,000 people, and transferred to a large metro area of 2 million. A year later I found myself out of a job, with no social network at all. And it was an economic downturn at the time. So it made for a challenging couple of years. It worked out in the end, but sure wasn't easy.
    I will admit that is a concern given that the job market can change at anytime. I have been pondering moving to a city a few hours away. This would be a few hours away from my current social network and I wouldn't know anyone in the new location. Sometimes I think I'm "missing out" on making friends my own age....but most people my age (early 40s) are married or tied up in some relationship and/or with kids so I question whether my lifestyle would be all that different. I'd still be grinding at a job full time, dealing with day-to-day chores/errands, and most of my hobbies/interests can pretty much be done anywhere.

    Quote Originally Posted by BeenThereDoneThat View Post
    Every place has its good points and bad. Big cities have a lot of amenities, such as festivals, concerts, shows, sports teams museums and so on. There's always something going on. But the traffic can be horrendous. And crime is on an alarming upward trend. It's gotten to where news of the latest mass shooting hardly gets any attention. Downtowns in big cities are having a lot of problems. During the Covid era, businesses figured out how to have people work from home. So many office buildings are vacant, and supporting retail businesses are folding. Moving downtown was a trendy thing to do for many years, now this is reversing.
    Great points. Those amenities are great, but then I think, how often would I actually use them? I might hit a concert or two in a year as it stands now. I go to maybe a half dozen sporting events. I don't go to many festivals but that would be cool in the summertime. Traffic and crime can definitely have an effect on quality of life. My current commute is long but mostly highway. It can be nasty in the winter though.

    Quote Originally Posted by BeenThereDoneThat View Post
    It's tough to find a social network outside of a job.
    True. Yet it's rarely a good idea to hang out with co-workers outside of work. I guess that's why some people don't seem to mind donating their personal time to their employers.

    Quote Originally Posted by BeenThereDoneThat View Post
    There's a lot of opportunity for shallow connections, but especially in the social media era, it's tough to form closer friendships. People are just too busy.
    That is true. Perhaps the ship has sailed o nthat. I figure if I were in my 20s, that would have been a better time to make friends. At this stage of the game, it seems all about business contacts and shared activities.

    Quote Originally Posted by BeenThereDoneThat View Post
    A smaller big city has always seemed to me a good compromise. There would be some of the big city amenities while maybe not as many of the problems. In any case, it's definitely a good idea to have a plan together before making the move.
    That is the type of big city that I would consider moving to.
    Last edited by Brock; November 20, 2021 at 5:27 AM.

  12. #12
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    Re: Ever think about packing up and starting over somewhere else?

    Quote Originally Posted by Jackoff View Post
    Well, I did just that.

    In my late 20’s I ditched my career, sold my house, jumped on a train and set up a new life. The reasons for this are another story.

    How did it work out?

    Not well by most standards.

    But it wasn’t all bad. I got to shed the skin that was foisted upon me. I got to be myself instead of behaving as others expected me to.
    I must admit that this is one reason I'm considering a move. My parents tend to be a bit controlling in some ways. They've never encouraged me to move elsewhere....as if they want me under their thumb and think I'm going to move away and forget about them.

    Quote Originally Posted by Jackoff View Post
    No history with people means no expectations. It was a relief.
    That's another reason.

    Quote Originally Posted by Jackoff View Post
    Yet, setting up new acquaintances was a long process. For a long time it felt like, I dunno, like I was living like a tourist. Like I was there and part of things, but separate and apart from the locals who saw me as an outsider.

    That eventually changed and I became accepted as a part of the local community, but that being said I will NEVER be seen in the same way as someone who grew up here.
    That's interesting. I hear it takes at least two years to build a social life in a new place.

    Quote Originally Posted by Jackoff View Post
    I’m now in my fifties and am basically unemployable. All my tech knowledge from back in the day is mostly defunct now.
    There is definitely ageism in IT. I'm in my early 40s. Between my experience and the job market (as well as leaving my first job off the resume to appear younger), I am having more luck than I expected with interviews and offers. That will change sometime in the future and I will likely eventually become unemployable. I figure if I'm ever going to make a move then it better be soon.

    Quote Originally Posted by Jackoff View Post
    But it depends on what you’re looking for.

    If you’re looking for a career then big cities are probably the place to move to. Be one of the “in” people.

    For myself, I was looking for a place where I could be myself first and foremost.

    I got work outside my field (I.T.).

    I worked in bars for a few years. Not a great career move but it got me known amongst the locals and helped me settle in.

    Then;

    I worked in the medical field for 8 or 9 years (manufacture of stents and catheters) and while it was interesting for a while it ultimately led nowhere.

    Then, in my forties I became unemployed for reasons I won’t get in to. I’m now in my mid-fifties and it’s unlikely I’ll ever see employment again.

    This may all seem like I fucked up royally, and there is a lot of truth in that.
    That is interesting (both the good and the bad). Seems that you might have been burnt out on IT. I can relate to that.

    Quote Originally Posted by Jackoff View Post
    I wouldn’t recommend it from a professional POV, then again times have changed: can you do your thing from home on-line? This would be a big difference to my own experiences.
    I could do most of my current job from home but they would never allow it. I would have to find an employer that is more receptive to working from home. Or start my own thing.

    Quote Originally Posted by Jackoff View Post
    But I wasn’t looking for wealth or progressing my career. Yeah that would have been a nice bonus but it wasn’t first and foremost.
    Nothing wrong with that. If I'm to be perfectly honest, I value time more than money. It would be more important for me to eliminate my commute (and the costs in money and time associated with it) than to make a 6 figure salary.

    Quote Originally Posted by Jackoff View Post
    I came from a financially poor background devastated with hostility (Northern Ireland during the height of “The Troubles”).

    I now live in peace and tranquillity (relatively speaking).

    This was my motivation, at least to a large extent.

    I now have friends. Friends that I can rely on when the shit hits the fan.

    So, it didn’t work out well by most standards. I didn’t manage to make my mark on the world. I don’t have much in the way of material things and I don’t have much money.

    Then again, I managed to find contentment in life.

    I think, on average, I’m doing O.K.

    Not great by any means, but O.K.
    I know what you mean by OK. Interesting story btw (the good and the bad).

    Quote Originally Posted by Jackoff View Post
    What is it that you are looking for? A rhetorical question for you to ponder upon. I don't expect an answer.
    Very good question. I think perhaps I need to set priorities and rank them. There are always trade-offs it seems.
    Last edited by Brock; November 20, 2021 at 5:30 AM.

  13. #13
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    Re: Ever think about packing up and starting over somewhere else?

    There are places, usually in the middle of nowhere that don't like or want any new people. Should you find yourself there, don't wonder what you did wrong. It ain't you, it's them.

    You'll find some a that in my one stoplight village, but I'd like to think most of us would give you a fair shake. Then it would be up to you. If not a complete jerk you'd probably fit in. But like Jackoff says, you could live here 20 years and you'd still be the new guy. The American wests some looser than where he lives, but it's kind a similar. Being a native, I'm above all this crap.

    City's, even small ones, mean suburbs and bedroom community's where expenses are usually less than living in town. That's alright, in fact it's where most people live. One downside of burbs and bedroom community's is they are extremely blue pill. Some of us, our fearless leader included, think there's better places to live. For me, it don't matter. I'm used to it, and since the local blue pill world considers me beyond hope, I'm left in peace. Most of us could stand living among the blue pills if it got us a better job. There's some of us though, that wouldn't like it. They'd be better off in the city or a one horse town. Jag did a piece on the burbs long ago, and said about the same thing.
    Last edited by frog; November 20, 2021 at 3:04 PM.
    Every day I make the world a little bit worse.

  14. #14
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    Re: Ever think about packing up and starting over somewhere else?

    Quote Originally Posted by Brock View Post
    I think perhaps I need to set priorities and rank them. There are always trade-offs it seems.
    Indeed.

    For every road one walks down another gets closed off.

  15. #15

    Re: Ever think about packing up and starting over somewhere else?

    A couple more things based on your recent comments: Getting away from the family. For me a big positive of moving. Not just away from family but all my teenage to early 20's connections. And many years later there's only a couple of people I ever miss. For me this was all accidental. My parents chose where we lived, not me, so a big part of moving was making a choice of my own. I still visit there once or twice a year, and to me it's a blue pill hell. There's a lot I wouldn't have experienced and learned if I had stayed there.

    As you mention its true a lot of the big city amenities do wear thin after a few years. I still get use out of many one time or annual events. There's always lists of things to do published weekly. I'll pick out some strange thing I know nothing about and attend, just for the experience.

    On the plus side for making a move is just knowing the answer rather than wondering if it would've been better.

  16. #16
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    Re: Ever think about packing up and starting over somewhere else?

    Quote Originally Posted by BeenThereDoneThat View Post
    A couple more things based on your recent comments: Getting away from the family. For me a big positive of moving. Not just away from family but all my teenage to early 20's connections. And many years later there's only a couple of people I ever miss. For me this was all accidental. My parents chose where we lived, not me, so a big part of moving was making a choice of my own. I still visit there once or twice a year, and to me it's a blue pill hell. There's a lot I wouldn't have experienced and learned if I had stayed there.

    I must admit that this has crossed my mind. Sometimes I think I should have moved out of the area in my 20s. Instead, I bought a house and lived near family. My parents later got divorced, which was not a pleasant experience. My mom kicked her boyfriend out recently and has relied on me for occasional chores (i.e. grass cutting). My dad relies on me in some ways as well (more for emotional support since he is no longer with his gf). Neither has ever encouraged me to relocate as I think they want me under their thumbs.


    Quote Originally Posted by BeenThereDoneThat View Post
    As you mention its true a lot of the big city amenities do wear thin after a few years. I still get use out of many one time or annual events. There's always lists of things to do published weekly. I'll pick out some strange thing I know nothing about and attend, just for the experience.

    I think it would be fun for awhile, but I do wonder how long it would take before I start missing the quiet of a smaller town.


    Quote Originally Posted by BeenThereDoneThat View Post
    On the plus side for making a move is just knowing the answer rather than wondering if it would've been better.

    Yes although looking back, I should have done this when I was younger. I would have at least answered that question by now.

  17. #17
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    Re: Ever think about packing up and starting over somewhere else?

    I used to, and I did. I kept moving somewhere I preferred, always ensuring I had work.

    Now I don't want to move areas.

    Keep moving until you don't want to move any longer.
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    Re: Ever think about packing up and starting over somewhere else?

    Years ago I could of got a promotion, but it would of required moving. In the end, I passed. My house was near paid off, and the parents were getting old. They didn't need me much, but I was all they had. My old man could be a dick, but as long as you didn't have to live with him it was OK. It turned out to be the right call, I eventually got promoted without moving.

    If the parents had been losers, I would of for sure considered leaving. But I didn't have to.
    Every day I make the world a little bit worse.

  19. #19

    Re: Ever think about packing up and starting over somewhere else?

    From my view, if you own a house, you can sell it - invest that money and pretty much retire never having to work full-time again if not sticking to part-time work occasionally as needed.

    Move INTO a city? No-no, move away from a city, far away from political correctness and mass retardation... Not necessary to commute to work, I've spent years job hopping to my remote work now and before that was jobs that were closer and closer to home - selling your house though, well when your job involves your money working to make more money a commute becomes a non-factor, or just get some part-time local work for extra sha-bang if you want.
    Neither me or my family has owned a house, from my POV with sufficient income you can just rent at any location you so choose, don't like it? Move somewhere else, once you find somewhere nice and have a nice chunk of cash saved up you can consider buying a permanent property if it's a big need.

    Only thing I'd need a is a goddamn garage to do basic maintenance on bikes, rest of the building can be made out of cardboard for all I care.

  20. #20
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    Re: Ever think about packing up and starting over somewhere else?

    Quote Originally Posted by frog View Post
    Years ago I could of got a promotion, but it would of required moving. In the end, I passed. My house was near paid off, and the parents were getting old. They didn't need me much, but I was all they had. My old man could be a dick, but as long as you didn't have to live with him it was OK. It turned out to be the right call, I eventually got promoted without moving.

    If the parents had been losers, I would of for sure considered leaving. But I didn't have to.
    Similar situation here, not with the job, but house and parents. I've thought the same thing about my dad. He could be a prick but I could deal with it as long as I don't live with him. The job is pretty much a dead end job but it's otherwise not bad (except for the 45 min+ commute each way).


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