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  1. #1

    Question Did anyone grew up with dysfunctional parents?

    My mother and father started cold shoulders and silent arguments again. My mom married a dysfunctional man (a man supposed to be my father) because she fell in love in her 20's. My father married a woman before but got cheated on and reflects trust issues in this marriage. Economic issues, family member deaths (grandparents) and his own childish insecurities.. My mom tells me she is going to get divorced (she told it to me 4-5 times before,every year like a decade)

    My father is a manchild. He does not know to talk and act like a man,always complains, he always throw cold shoulders in slightest argument (genetics, my grandma does the same things. SHEESH). Always talks behind of his friends, brings arguments not because of facts but emotions. My mom is the breadwinner and housekeeper. Not my dad lol. He had built up debt over his previous divorce, has stomach issues because excessive drinking, left his bank job and went as a sailor (paid his debt but quitted), Now he hardly earns money. He only does his own job which hardly brings money to the table. He does not want to get a job outside but does not have the audacity or brains to learn a new skill.

    Like I have 4 buddies and 2 of their parents are divorced and 1 almost did. I used to rant,cry and so on but I have realized most of my friends also suffer from this.

    Does anybody else have issue like this?

  2. #2
    Senior Member stanmsl's Avatar
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    Re: Did anyone grew up with dysfunctional parents?

    Different problem but still horrible.

    My dad is a weed smoker, has a memory like Swiss cheese and zero motivation to do anything in life.

    Example : I needed new clothes as a young teenager, I'd have to argue with him for literally months just to get the cheapest T-Shirt off the market. I had plenty of money in the bank left by relatives but he wouldn't let me touch a penny of it until I was 18.

    I couldn't go out and socialize because of "fashion bullying" so I'd sit in my room playing computer games.

    Dad would blame my lack of social life (and most of my other problems) on sitting in my room playing computer games.
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  3. #3
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    Re: Did anyone grew up with dysfunctional parents?

    You wouldn't wish my father's parents on a dog. He never had one kind word for my grandfather, and his mom, he wouldn't even talk about her. And this from a guy who told me many stories about his days as a WW II POW. Grandma must have been a real piece of work. In the great depression it was customary for older sons to leave home early to relieve strain on the family. My father left cause staying at home was worse than living on the road. There wasn't much left when his parents, the great depression and the prison camp got done with him. That shit never goes away. He never talked about it, but those hard days were like yesterday for the rest of his life.

    But he did alright. Despite a volcanic temper, he never lost control of himself. I've never seen his equal on this. So, you get something for three years in a truly awful situation. Without that I doubt he'd a survived. Mom's love saved him too, she was everything to him and she never let him down.

    He could be a real bastard to get along with but was never unfair or chickenshit over anything. And I grew up thinking he was completely normal!
    Every day I make the world a little bit worse.

  4. #4
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    Re: Did anyone grew up with dysfunctional parents?

    Shit yes.

    As a kid both my parents spoke about committing suicide to me as well as depression and lots of other problems. My father was obsessed with being anti drug, both prescription and recreational. I was building a model airplane and my dad comes in and says "I hope you're not sniffing glue like the high school kids" oh shit, wait, I can sniff this stuff?! He was also very much against me swearing and hated his friends swearing around me. As I hadn't already heard every swear word that existed at school. He would just worry about stupid stuff like that.

    My mother would say stuff like "When the talking stops the family stops" ummmm the family stops when the mother divorce's the father and kicks him out of the house. Thus making a "broken home".

    Neither one of them supported me beyond buying me stuff and feeding me. So yeah in that sense I had more than others but they still were both crappy parents.

  5. #5
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    Re: Did anyone grew up with dysfunctional parents?

    Did anyone grow up with dysfunctional parents?

    Eh, we all did. This is what relationshits do to us.

    Not just us MGTOW but everyone on the planet, the only question is: are people able to look at their parents with a totally rational mind. Often not. There’s too much baggage.

  6. #6

    Re: Did anyone grew up with dysfunctional parents?

    I guess my parents were dysfunctional in the sense that, when they argued, they fought like animals, which I know had an impact on me. My parents were very physical and aggressive in their arguments. Doors would be knocked off the hinges, things like family pictures would be thrown around and shattered, furniture would be tossed around, and I was screamed at on some occasions, in the middle of it, forced to take a side.

    I also witnessed my mother hit on several occasions.

    My parents never were the buy flowers and kiss and make up type of bullshit like on the Hallmark channel. After one of their destructive fights they would often go months at a time without speaking, giving the home environment a very cold, unsettling aura, as if anything could erupt at any time. The worst part was I never felt comfortable at home during those periods of time. It would distract me at school and I would often force myself to act “normal” around peers.

    I’m not going to cop out and blame my parents for what I became. I will say that witnessing them in action definitely impacted my view on marriage and relationships. I always promised myself that my own household would be happier and that my wife and I would talk and not fight and argue. I never got married or did the domestic bullshit. The two long-term relationships I’ve had over the course of my life had moments where the aggression I witnessed would bubble to the surface. I never became physical or hit a woman (and still will not, regardless of how I feel about them now). But the rage was there at times, which I think was a heavy reflection of my own insecurities.

    My parents are older now and I have a great relationship with them both. But I will never completely forget some of those childhood situations. They were living nightmares.

  7. #7

    Re: Did anyone grew up with dysfunctional parents?

    I totally understand you. Same kind of issues, you explained it better. I have shit in my mind that I still cannot explain.

    Quote Originally Posted by Societysucksmyass View Post
    My parents never were the buy flowers and kiss and make up type of bullshit like on the Hallmark channel. After one of their destructive fights they would often go months at a time without speaking, giving the home environment a very cold, unsettling aura, as if anything could erupt at any time. The worst part was I never felt comfortable at home during those periods of time. It would distract me at school and I would often force myself to act “normal” around peers.
    The funny part is that they are arguing again while I am writing this...

  8. #8
    Senior Member Eddie Willers's Avatar
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    Re: Did anyone grew up with dysfunctional parents?

    Hell yeah!
    My old man was still living with, and married to, his first wife when I was born. Mom got a small apartment as a single mother and had her entire family turn against her (this was working-class UK in the early '60s) - tellingly, her dad had died when she was little, so she grew up in a widow/single-mom household.

    Until my folks split when I was 10, my abiding memory is of mom whaling the snot out of me as a means of dealing with the frustration of an uncaring & heavy-drinking husband. Once she and I went to live at the mercy of her mother, then a charity apartment in the ghetto, then her re-marrying and going suburban - well, until I left home at 17, her emotional indifference and my step-father's indifferent lassitude created all kindsa' shit for my adult life.

    But, meh - the best was done with the means, methods, and materials of the time. As Philip Larkin said,

    "They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
    They may not mean to, but they do.
    They fill you with the faults they had
    And add some extra, just for you."
    A gun-toting, weed-smoking, gray-bearded redneck with a Masters - old and dangerous.

  9. #9
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    Re: Did anyone grew up with dysfunctional parents?

    The act of having children proves you’ll be a dysfunctional parent.

  10. #10

    Re: Did anyone grew up with dysfunctional parents?

    Yep!


    I was raised by a single mother with bipolar on welfare, it was pretty hectic lol. I was moved all over the place when I was growing up, always starting new schools, always leaving friends and having to find new friends etc. My mother was never content with anything (still isn’t), she even changed my name because she got sick of the name she gave me at birth lol


    My mother was extremely depressed and suicidal, in fact, my earliest memory is of her having a crazy, suicidal breakdown…I believed my mother’s depression could be cured by kindness and help, so I began helping her out with chores around the house and spending lots of time with her etc


    She ended up turning me into a complete slave through guilt. If chores weren’t done or if they weren’t done exactly how/when she wanted them done, then she would throw MASSIVE temper tantrums or huffy silences for days. She would criticise everything I did or didn’t do, then when I retaliated she’d make me feel guilty for doing so and say that I was always putting her down


    She always had new boyfriends. One boyfriend took a particular dislike to me and would pick on me. He would also beat her up when I was in the house (very distressing time) which led to her becoming an alcoholic and even more suicidal… At this time I ended up getting kicked out of school and doped up on ADHD meds by psychiatrists (typical 90s child haha)


    My dad wasn’t really there, he was a work-a-holic, money addict, sex addict, and complete hedonist… He is a very masculine man, he loves the outdoors and could’ve taught me a lot, but he preferred to just criticise everything I did in life rather than help me out… Which is great because his lack of influence gave me the chance to find my own way. Had he invested time into me I would’ve probably ended up like him (on his 3rd marriage now)


    I’m so glad I had dysfunctional parents. If I’d had a traditional upbringing it’s very likely that I would’ve ended up a married slave endlessly trying please a perpetually ungrateful, naggy wife. I’d also probably be oblivious to Gynocentrism and male disposability


    Having dysfunctional parents can actually be beneficial for some people. I believe that there’s a level of stress that humans reach which will lead to a sort of awakening. Once this awakening is reached, one will no longer be bothered by silly problems and arguments. You start to recognise that everything that happens in life is just the Universe doing its thing, the Game of Life just playing out, or the Divine Plan (however you want to interpret it)… You begin to realise that you don’t have to be upset or angry about anything, you don’t have to retaliate… This is a blissful state of mind. Most men will never achieve this mindset, we MGTOW are the lucky ones who have

  11. #11

    Re: Did anyone grew up with dysfunctional parents?

    Quote Originally Posted by NEETiusParasiticus View Post
    Having dysfunctional parents can actually be beneficial for some people. I believe that there’s a level of stress that humans reach which will lead to a sort of awakening. Once this awakening is reached, one will no longer be bothered by silly problems and arguments. You start to recognise that everything that happens in life is just the Universe doing its thing, the Game of Life just playing out, or the Divine Plan (however you want to interpret it)… You begin to realise that you don’t have to be upset or angry about anything, you don’t have to retaliate… This is a blissful state of mind. Most men will never achieve this mindset, we MGTOW are the lucky ones who have
    EXACTLY.
    The constant arguments and fights at home while I was trying to finish my exams at engineering finals totaled up my depression. But it bringed me to an awakened state where I hardly feel emotional at bad times. It also bringed me to a mindset where it is a priceless asset to be an independent person, away from marriage and etc..

  12. #12

    Re: Did anyone grew up with dysfunctional parents?

    What the hell, I’ll be the Lone Ranger here and admit that my parents were outstanding. They've been married 57 years.

    The only ass kickings I got were deserved. My Dad taught me to fish and hunt. He never missed a game when I was playing ball. He taught me work ethic (this was the greatest thing he did for me), honesty and character. He spent time with me and my siblings.

    Mom was just fine. Supportive, quiet, smart, not a feminist.

    Neither of them ever pushed actively for me to be on the plantation. They did it more by example. After I got over getting divorce raped (as much as you can get over it), they asked me a time or two why I don’t date? Aren’t you lonely? I said, “Nope, I’m just fine and have discovered that being single is the best thing for me”. Not another word has been mentioned.

    I’d say that they are a pretty rare thing nowadays. I was damn lucky.

  13. #13
    Senior Member mgtower's Avatar
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    Re: Did anyone grew up with dysfunctional parents?

    Quote Originally Posted by Survivor64 View Post
    What the hell, I’ll be the Lone Ranger here and admit that my parents were outstanding. They've been married 57 years.

    The only ass kickings I got were deserved. My Dad taught me to fish and hunt. He never missed a game when I was playing ball. He taught me work ethic (this was the greatest thing he did for me), honesty and character. He spent time with me and my siblings.

    Mom was just fine. Supportive, quiet, smart, not a feminist.

    Neither of them ever pushed actively for me to be on the plantation. They did it more by example. After I got over getting divorce raped (as much as you can get over it), they asked me a time or two why I don’t date? Aren’t you lonely? I said, “Nope, I’m just fine and have discovered that being single is the best thing for me”. Not another word has been mentioned.

    I’d say that they are a pretty rare thing nowadays. I was damn lucky.
    Gee, Survivor, I didn't want to rain on a shitty parents thread with my bias experience, thanks for stepping up to the plate!
    Bundle up, boys, it's gonna be a long cold endless winter.


  14. #14

    Re: Did anyone grew up with dysfunctional parents?

    Quote Originally Posted by Survivor64 View Post
    What the hell, I’ll be the Lone Ranger here and admit that my parents were outstanding. They've been married 57 years.

    The only ass kickings I got were deserved. My Dad taught me to fish and hunt. He never missed a game when I was playing ball. He taught me work ethic (this was the greatest thing he did for me), honesty and character. He spent time with me and my siblings.

    Mom was just fine. Supportive, quiet, smart, not a feminist.

    Neither of them ever pushed actively for me to be on the plantation. They did it more by example. After I got over getting divorce raped (as much as you can get over it), they asked me a time or two why I don’t date? Aren’t you lonely? I said, “Nope, I’m just fine and have discovered that being single is the best thing for me”. Not another word has been mentioned.

    I’d say that they are a pretty rare thing nowadays. I was damn lucky.
    Some of you fellas are damn lucky. Even my grandparents had issues like this so they resorted to loud arguments even in the middle of the night. Its like genetics in my family.
    Why do we all have to wear these ridiculous ties?!

  15. #15
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    Re: Did anyone grew up with dysfunctional parents?

    I’m so glad I had dysfunctional parents. If I’d had a traditional upbringing it’s very likely that I would’ve ended up a married slave endlessly trying please a perpetually ungrateful, naggy wife. I’d also probably be oblivious to Gynocentrism and male disposability

    Having dysfunctional parents can actually be beneficial for some people. I believe that there’s a level of stress that humans reach which will lead to a sort of awakening. Once this awakening is reached, one will no longer be bothered by silly problems and arguments. You start to recognise that everything that happens in life is just the Universe doing its thing, the Game of Life just playing out, or the Divine Plan (however you want to interpret it)… You begin to realise that you don’t have to be upset or angry about anything, you don’t have to retaliate… This is a blissful state of mind. Most men will never achieve this mindset, we MGTOW are the lucky ones who have
    In reincarnation theory, we each select our parents to whom we will be born, in part to improve ourselves in areas of our souls that we feel needed improvement. Other criteria figure in to the selection of a life, such as geographic location, exposure to arts, music, science, solitude, nature, conflict, deprivation, etc. But parents, and siblings, or lack of parents or siblings, figure in prominently.

    I say feel (present tense), not felt (past tense), because we are still with us, so to speak, under the veil of our current state.
    The two most important days in your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why. - Mark Twain

    The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.
    - Henry David Thoreau

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  16. #16
    Senior Member mgtower's Avatar
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    Re: Did anyone grew up with dysfunctional parents?

    Quote Originally Posted by Unboxxed View Post
    In reincarnation theory, we each select our parents to whom we will be born, in part to improve ourselves in areas of our souls that we feel needed improvement. Other criteria figure in to the selection of a life, such as geographic location, exposure to arts, music, science, solitude, nature, conflict, deprivation, etc. But parents, and siblings, or lack of parents or siblings, figure in prominently.

    I say feel (present tense), not felt (past tense), because we are still with us, so to speak, under the veil of our current state.
    yes sir-e Bob, I'm rolling those dice on extraterrestrial!

    Bundle up, boys, it's gonna be a long cold endless winter.


  17. #17

    Re: Did anyone grew up with dysfunctional parents?

    Quote Originally Posted by Unboxxed View Post
    In reincarnation theory, we each select our parents to whom we will be born, in part to improve ourselves in areas of our souls that we feel needed improvement. Other criteria figure in to the selection of a life, such as geographic location, exposure to arts, music, science, solitude, nature, conflict, deprivation, etc. But parents, and siblings, or lack of parents or siblings, figure in prominently.

    I say feel (present tense), not felt (past tense), because we are still with us, so to speak, under the veil of our current state.
    I never liked my dad,I never will.I don't feel anything toward my mom,she was a great mom but a really bad friend . I am sure I wouldn't feel shit if they died tomorrow other than I would have more responsibility. But I will NOT choose any other parents because the stress and depressions I had showed me reality of life early on , setting me far more mature than my friends of my age. Caused me to resort to things that I am gladful that I did resort to (my job,my passions and my workout lifestyle)...
    Why do we all have to wear these ridiculous ties?!


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