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  1. #21

    Re: Dealing with new female co-worker

    Quote Originally Posted by Brock View Post
    I am required to spend some time training her. She just started and I already know about her problems at home, her medical history, and her recent relationship history. How do I make myself look "undesirable" as a relationship prospect? I don't want to be in a position where she's hitting on me and I have to reject her. That may not even happen but you never know.
    - You're deep in debt
    - You've got money issues
    - You live with your parents
    - You haven't had a date since high school (and it was only because she lost a bet with someone)
    - If you choose to claim you live alone then you can say that you received two separate eviction notices because you're perpetually behind on rent
    - You're super out of shape; you haven't exercised in years

    The idea is to study what women look for in men and do as much of the opposite as possible. Height is out of your control. But the other sixes that women want (pack on your stomach, figures in your salary, inches downstairs, etc.) can be whatever you claim them to be. So, claim not to have any of them.

  2. #22

    Re: Dealing with new female co-worker

    Quote Originally Posted by Brock View Post
    I'm not a fan of outside work functions. What excuse do you give them not to attend?
    "That's the same night as my AA meeting."
    "I have to pick up my grandmother from the airport."
    "I'm going out of town for a friend's bachelor party."
    "I'm volunteering at a soup kitchen in [the next town over]."
    "My sister needs me to help install a new shelf in her apartment."
    "I have to go to a friend's funeral."
    "I'm having dinner at my best friend's new steak restaurant."
    "I'm busy helping a friend move into his new house."

    Etc etc etc.

  3. #23
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    Re: Dealing with new female co-worker

    Quote Originally Posted by OwenWentFullMGTOW View Post
    - You're deep in debt
    - You've got money issues
    - You live with your parents
    - You haven't had a date since high school (and it was only because she lost a bet with someone)
    - If you choose to claim you live alone then you can say that you received two separate eviction notices because you're perpetually behind on rent
    - You're super out of shape; you haven't exercised in years

    The idea is to study what women look for in men and do as much of the opposite as possible. Height is out of your control. But the other sixes that women want (pack on your stomach, figures in your salary, inches downstairs, etc.) can be whatever you claim them to be. So, claim not to have any of them.
    But couldn't some of this backfire and lead to political issues with co-workers? Maybe not the money issues because most people have them anyway. But anyone who would claim that they haven't had a date since high school (especially if it's been many years) would be the laughingstock of any company.

    The living with my parents thing could backfire if she thinks less bills means more money in the bank. That would be something else that co-workers could look down on you for.

    The out of shape thing is difficult to hide. I see where you're getting at though. As I get in better shape, I am looking at wearing baggier clothes at work.

  4. #24
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    Re: Dealing with new female co-worker

    Quote Originally Posted by OwenWentFullMGTOW View Post
    "That's the same night as my AA meeting."
    "I have to pick up my grandmother from the airport."
    "I'm going out of town for a friend's bachelor party."
    "I'm volunteering at a soup kitchen in [the next town over]."
    "My sister needs me to help install a new shelf in her apartment."
    "I have to go to a friend's funeral."
    "I'm having dinner at my best friend's new steak restaurant."
    "I'm busy helping a friend move into his new house."

    Etc etc etc.
    Good excuses, thanks!

  5. #25
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    Re: Dealing with new female co-worker

    So it's only been a couple weeks. I already know her job history, health issues, her boyfriend's health issues, medication she's taking, her kids ages, her parents' health issues, her parents' pets, and what her siblings look. I have not reciprocated nor has she asked me any nosy questions, but she does love talking about herself.

  6. #26

    Re: Dealing with new female co-worker

    Quote Originally Posted by Brock View Post
    So it's only been a couple weeks. I already know her job history, health issues, her boyfriend's health issues, medication she's taking, her kids ages, her parents' health issues, her parents' pets, and what her siblings look. I have not reciprocated nor has she asked me any nosy questions, but she does love talking about herself.
    Sounds like you're doing it right then

  7. #27

    Re: Dealing with new female co-worker

    Quote Originally Posted by Brock View Post
    I'm not a fan of outside work functions. What excuse do you give them not to attend?
    I usually say I have to take care of my dog, or I have to care for my elderly parents or something. I also claimed early on that I don't drink- gets me out of happy hours, goodbye parties, new hire parties, etc.

  8. #28
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    Re: Dealing with new female co-worker

    Like others have said, stick to being nice, but professional. If the conversation starts steering too far off topic, as in it's not talking about the weather or some other innocuous thing, steer it back to work related items. Another trick if they start to babble on too much and don't take the hint, excuse yourself to the toilet for a few minutes or to get a drink so you break the conversation without saying anything.

  9. #29
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    Re: Dealing with new female co-worker

    Quote Originally Posted by _RPK_ View Post
    Like others have said, stick to being nice, but professional. If the conversation starts steering too far off topic, as in it's not talking about the weather or some other innocuous thing, steer it back to work related items. Another trick if they start to babble on too much and don't take the hint, excuse yourself to the toilet for a few minutes or to get a drink so you break the conversation without saying anything.
    Good ideas. She does most of the talking, which works for me. Fortunately she has asked few if any personal questions. Seems to be one of those narcissistic types....which unfortunately tend to be attracted to me. Not saying she is (I hope not) as I want to avoid that situation. Perhaps being overly nice and nerdy will help prevent that.

    One question I do have....what if she asks if I have a girlfriend or wife or kids? I hate lying but at the same time ,I don't want to be seen as "available". Even if she does not dig me then she could try to hook me up with someone else.

  10. #30
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    Re: Dealing with new female co-worker

    Quote Originally Posted by Brock View Post

    One question I do have....what if she asks if I have a girlfriend or wife or kids? I hate lying but at the same time ,I don't want to be seen as "available". Even if she does not dig me then she could try to hook me up with someone else.
    If she tries to set you up, say "friends have tried setting me up before, and it never worked out. I don't want to try again". As for her, you don't date people at work.
    Every day I make the world a little bit worse.

  11. #31

    Re: Dealing with new female co-worker

    Quote Originally Posted by Brock View Post
    One question I do have....what if she asks if I have a girlfriend or wife or kids? I hate lying but at the same time ,I don't want to be seen as "available". Even if she does not dig me then she could try to hook me up with someone else.
    Just say you're too busy to date, always worked for me. Can even just be honest and say you'd rather not discuss your personal life

  12. #32
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    Re: Dealing with new female co-worker

    Quote Originally Posted by frog View Post
    If she tries to set you up, say "friends have tried setting me up before, and it never worked out. I don't want to try again". As for her, you don't date people at work.
    The same goes for "hanging out" with people from work too, eh?

    I forgot to mention that she did ask me what I did the night before so I think she is starting to get curious. I said "nothing much" and then she went on about something her kids did. Maybe that was just an excuse to talk about herself rather than be nosy but I'm expecting more questions in like this in the future. I guess I will just need to continue giving generic responses in return.

  13. #33
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    Re: Dealing with new female co-worker

    Quote Originally Posted by Toolband89 View Post
    Just say you're too busy to date, always worked for me. Can even just be honest and say you'd rather not discuss your personal life
    I may just go with the latter. It's not like I discuss personal stuff with male co-workers either so she can't say I'm being sexist or anything like that.

  14. #34
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    Re: Dealing with new female co-worker

    Quote Originally Posted by Brock View Post
    Good ideas. She does most of the talking, which works for me. Fortunately she has asked few if any personal questions. Seems to be one of those narcissistic types....which unfortunately tend to be attracted to me. Not saying she is (I hope not) as I want to avoid that situation. Perhaps being overly nice and nerdy will help prevent that.

    One question I do have....what if she asks if I have a girlfriend or wife or kids? I hate lying but at the same time ,I don't want to be seen as "available". Even if she does not dig me then she could try to hook me up with someone else.
    You say that you're kinda seeing someone but not sure where it's going yet.

  15. #35
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    Re: Dealing with new female co-worker

    Quote Originally Posted by _RPK_ View Post
    You say that you're kinda seeing someone but not sure where it's going yet.
    Would that invite follow up questions down the line?

  16. #36

    Re: Dealing with new female co-worker

    Quote Originally Posted by _RPK_ View Post
    You say that you're kinda seeing someone but not sure where it's going yet.
    Bad idea, invites all sorts of follow-up, even down the road. "Are you still seeing so&so?"

  17. #37
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    Re: Dealing with new female co-worker

    I haven’t been drinking but, I wanted to share my perspective on this issue, since I too am in a similar situation.

    First off, calling it a situation may make it sound like more of a drama than it really is.

    All new employees put out their feelers because they are new and want to know what they just got themselves into. Male and female. It could be, in both of our situations, that the “personal time” or things that are divulged to us are just superficial. I mean, women are generally flakey af. She probably just wants to be sure that she’s got on a good ship and that none of the crew mates are going to rape her, lol fuckn women!

    Since the controla virus knocked my employer a good bit behind on delivery time, and employee attendance, I began looking at things from a different perspective. Most of our new hires are in the 18-25 year old bracket, with zero experience in life, let alone in the industry. Only one, was a female, and her duty is as purchaser, and she is going to be hidden away in the office and we will rarely see her on the floor, just like the other female that runs the inventory.

    Now, this where you and I differ in tactics, or maybe I just plain don’t give a fuck anymore, I do however want to keep my job but, at the same time, I and many others have had their burden increase quite a bit in the last year or so…soooo…

    New girl always wore a mask when being toured around the shop for a few weeks. A shop of red-blooded, hardworking, blue collar grunts. It’s like they are dragging around a bloody chunk of chuck roast in a pool of piranhas…Everyone is calling dips lol, and some are acting like 10yr old boys that just got their first boner…You know the drill.

    Well, as I remained at the same pay, and job title, my duties have been dropped down a couple levels.
    I know it’s temporary, but at the same time it’s torture. Not the job duties, they are easy peasy, the nuance of having to train a member of the new age bracket…Good kid, but, total feminist brainwashed libtard that gets offended with yes or no answers to yes and no questions…The shit gets annoying fast…

    I don’t want to be this kids dad, but apparently if I don’t, I will just get another one just like him so I invest in him, tips and tricks to make his job easier and his output better quality…He still stabs me in the back constantly I just keep pushing him and showing him what standards he needs to maintain. Totally thankless work on my part, the little shit is thankless and now thinks he has supreme intimate knowledge that will make the entire company run more efficiently…

    All of this background and foreshadowing will help paint the moment here shortly, I think lol…

    He questioned a length on a print. I told him that is a 16th of an inch. He asks, “what’s a 16th?”. So I proceeded to teach him how to read a tape measure. I then tell him to cut it a cunt-hair short. He got visibly offended. I explained that a cunt-hair is a precise standard measurement used in the real world, because it is, And he stands back as if I just insulted his dead grandmother…

    So, with his handicap now in full view, I grab a large shop rag and walk over to his fan. I start tieing it to the cord on the back, at which point I call him over to me. I ask him if he sees the rag. He says yes. I then tell him why I’m tying it to the cord on the back:

    “You know that new girl? The one that smells like she ovulating and covering it up with perfume?” He looks at me confused…”Well, if she keeps jiggling her ass around here like she does, I’m gonna take her behind the steel rack over there, and bang her.” He is lost for words…lol, he asks about the rag…I tell him: “This is for you.” He is confused…”If you ever come back here and see this rag ties to the front of the fan, and it’s flapping in the wind, whatever you do, don’t look behind the steel rack. You will not be able to unsee what you see.”

    Like I said, I don’t think I give much of a fuck anymore…

    Sorry for the long read, I was on a roll…

  18. #38

    Re: Dealing with new female co-worker

    Quote Originally Posted by Brock View Post
    How do I make myself look "undesirable" as a relationship prospect?
    It isn't necessary for you to do this at all. She can't unilaterally start dating you without your participation.

    Be professional and personable.
    Don't share any personal information you don't want to.
    If she does hit on you, just let her know you aren't interested. If you need to soften the blow, tell her you don't date co-workers. (Truth, in her case!)

    There's no need to lie and make shit up about anything. If you get in the habit of doing that with other people, no matter what the reason, you are doing yourself a disservice. Eventually it will backfire and people will brand you a liar, and therefore untrustworthy. There's no need to go there.

  19. #39
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    Re: Dealing with new female co-worker

    Quote Originally Posted by Gunnar View Post
    It isn't necessary for you to do this at all. She can't unilaterally start dating you without your participation.

    Be professional and personable.
    Don't share any personal information you don't want to.
    If she does hit on you, just let her know you aren't interested. If you need to soften the blow, tell her you don't date co-workers. (Truth, in her case!)

    There's no need to lie and make shit up about anything. If you get in the habit of doing that with other people, no matter what the reason, you are doing yourself a disservice. Eventually it will backfire and people will brand you a liar, and therefore untrustworthy. There's no need to go there.
    She does tend to ask personal questions sometimes. For example, we were all at lunch. Everyone was discussing favorite TV shows. I don't watch much TV including modern shows. I guess she noticed I wasn't too engaged and then put me on the spot by asking what my favorite show is. Being caught off guard, I said I'd have to think about that or something. She often brings up stuff that has nothing to do with work. Perhaps she is trying to find some common ground but she doesn't seem to have any intellectual curiosity about the work itself.

  20. #40
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    Re: Dealing with new female co-worker

    So after a few weeks, it's going okay but not quite sure what to make of her yet. She does have a work ethic. OTOH I have noticed she is a type A personality, judgmental, likes to talk, possibly a bit narcissistic, definitely seems to be looking to climb the ladder. The signs of narcissism concern me because these types tend to cling to me for whatever reason.

    She has talked about butting heads with various co-workers in her previous gig. She likes talking about what's going on in her family. We get along okay but I can see her personality being grating over time. I could see her being a future boss although she seems to have a chip on her shoulder and seems bent on proving people wrong in her life that didn't have high expectations for her.


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