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  1. #1
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    My best buddy's (new) girlfriend has kids

    Don't know if this is the correct subforum, but here goes:

    I knew he had a girlfriend, as four weeks ago, I told him I only wanted him coming over to play some football (soccer, not handegg), just guys being guys without some cunt policing everthing we say, you know? A few minutes ago, I sent him a message that I won't be able to make it tonight, since I had a crappy night and did some chores around the house (check me intro topic about the low amount of energy + other shit I have). Dude said it was okay, since he has to "take care of the kids" anyway because his girlfriend is lying in bed as she's sick.

    I asked him "what kids?" hoping he'd turned into a sucker who names his pets kids, but alas. He started seeing her 1,5 years ago and she has atleast 2 kids by another man/men. I didn't ask about the number of kids. I just told him "that's the worst thing a guy can do... having a single mom for a girlfriend", but he laughed it off, saying "I'm a pretty good dad", which made me sigh and comment: "just so you know, to her you're the least interesting person in that relationship: kids come first, then she herself, then you unless she has pets." He laughed that off too and replied with "it's going good so far!"

    I really love that guy, and I don't want him to experience what lots of men have experienced here, but how can I point it out without exposing myself as a "bitter, angry, misogynistic piece of shit mgtow asshole", and his gf forbidding him from speaking with me the second she reads my messages?

  2. #2
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    Re: My best buddy's (new) girlfriend has kids

    Till he pee's on the electric fence, I don't think you can.

    Take a page from my parents book. Chose your words carefully, cause your only going to say them once. Give it to him right between the eye's, then never bring it up again. At least till after the crash. People don't mind friends saying their piece, they just don't want to be nagged over and over. Course your mileage may vary. You ain't got much to lose though. Looks like your friends new honey is already cutting his old ties. Sick in bed my ass.
    Every day I make the world a little bit worse.

  3. #3
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    Re: My best buddy's (new) girlfriend has kids

    Quote Originally Posted by frog View Post
    Till he pee's on the electric fence, I don't think you can.

    Take a page from my parents book. Chose your words carefully, cause your only going to say them once. Give it to him right between the eye's, then never bring it up again. At least till after the crash. People don't mind friends saying their piece, they just don't want to be nagged over and over. Course your mileage may vary. You ain't got much to lose though. Looks like your friends new honey is already cutting his old ties. Sick in bed my ass.
    Nah, don't think she's cutting ties. I told him that I won't be able to play, else he'd have been here in 2 or 3 hours from now. I just don't want her with us, because his previous girlfriend didn't give a rat's ass when he fell to the ground clutching his knee and upper leg after kicking the ball. I didn't see him fall as I chased the ball into the bushes, but when I got it and returned, he was lying there and his cunt of a gf only had her eyes glued to her fucking phone. I told her to get off her lazy ass and check up on her boyfriend, but she giggled and said "oh huh what?", looked at him, looked at her phone again and only when I sat by his side, she came over to us, STILL looking at her phone.

    If his new bitch is like that, I don't want her around. Atleast my buddy dumped the previous one not a week later, so that was good. Guess he saw what she was like after all. I hope my words have given him food for thought and hope to read he's single again in a short while. He just might have my words in the back of his mind when her looks closely at their relationship and find out my words rang true.
    Last edited by Resdayn; August 9, 2018 at 4:02 PM.

  4. #4

    Re: My best buddy's (new) girlfriend has kids

    discreetly find out the reasons he dumped past girlfriends. that's what will motivate him. relationships end when a person has stacked enough negative experiences about that person. if they keep having positive experiences, it will wipe out the negative ones. you have to create a defect ratio of negative experiences to positive.

    not that I've ever done that to convince some crazy ex it was her idea to break off the relationship /grin

  5. #5

    Re: My best buddy's (new) girlfriend has kids

    I wish you the best of luck getting the message across, he is not thinking about it with the part of the brain that he should. Worse more sooner then later she will come between you 2 because you are a single care free guy and now he has "responsibilities" as part of the plantation.

  6. #6

    Re: My best buddy's (new) girlfriend has kids

    I've found it almost impossible to talk to any guy in a relationship. They look at me like I have no idea what I'm talking about..........with that look of, "just because you married a bitch, doesn't mean all women are like that". Yeah, whatever........I didn't learn how women are just from my marriage. I also learned quite a bit about them from working with them every damn day and seeing how childish, manipulative, evil and illogical they can be.

    I rarely try to help any friends in a relationship anymore, because most guys have to learn from the burn.

  7. #7
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    Re: My best buddy's (new) girlfriend has kids

    Quote Originally Posted by 743 Roadmaster View Post
    I wish you the best of luck getting the message across, he is not thinking about it with the part of the brain that he should. Worse more sooner then later she will come between you 2 because you are a single care free guy and now he has "responsibilities" as part of the plantation.
    I have plenty of cares, but I get what you mean Still, no matter what, no matter if he has a gf, he'll always come over for banter and kicking a ball. Happened in the past, happens now, will happen in the future.

    He's kinda like me when it comes to hanging out with the guys vs. staying at home with gf:
    - I always told my gf's what I'll be doing that evening, I never asked if she was okay with me hanging out with the guys. I just said it and went.
    - A mutual friend threw a party, gf was sick in bed and demanded that I stayed home too (we both lived with parents, so not together). Told her I'd be going anyway, went to her place to wish her well, and went to the party.
    - Girlfriend had to work when it was festival time, and Graspop Metal Meeting was always my holiday. She told me I should stay home so we could do thing together. I said no and went to Graspop.

    Buddy is like that too. If he wants to go somewhere that she doesn't like, he doesn't stay home with her, he just goes. First post might've painted him as a pussy worshipper, but that's only an act so he can fuck 'em. Sure he cares for his girlfriends, but when they start demanding too much, he's out. I just saw red flags when he mentioned the kids.

  8. #8

    Re: My best buddy's (new) girlfriend has kids

    Actually, he's not that high on her list:

    Her 1st. All the time.
    Her Kids.
    Her pets.
    Her Friends.
    Her Family.
    Her Job.
    Her Car.
    He'll be lucky if he ranks here...

    And of course it is going fine right now. He's doing stuff for her and probably helping with bills too. She's getting something out of him.

  9. #9
    Senior Member GregBO's Avatar
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    Re: My best buddy's (new) girlfriend has kids

    Quote Originally Posted by Resdayn View Post

    I really love that guy, and I don't want him to experience what lots of men have experienced here, but how can I point it out without exposing myself as a "bitter, angry, misogynistic piece of shit mgtow asshole", and his gf forbidding him from speaking with me the second she reads my messages?
    Meet him at a location that will have dads & kids there, as well as just men handing out with friends. This will allow him to see the difference, as well as allow you to "comment" upon specific incidents that point out how bad the situation can be.

    Best yet would be being able to show a female, hen-pecked male and kids dominating the male for time and attention from the female.
    "My comfort animal is a Florida Alligator and I take great comfort every time he eats someone!" - PistolPete

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  10. #10
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    Re: My best buddy's (new) girlfriend has kids

    I hope your right, but you can bet she's working on freezing your ass out. They all do, there's not one woman in a hundred that will let their man do anything but worship the vagina. They might say different, but actions don't lie. One a their worst traits, IMO. Again, I hope I'm wrong, but I guess we'll find out soon enough.
    Every day I make the world a little bit worse.

  11. #11
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    Re: My best buddy's (new) girlfriend has kids

    Little head is still ruling the big head...there is zero chance of passing on your wisdom and it being accepted. The denial is still too strong. You've said your point. Unless he's managed to drop onto a Unicorn, she'll show her true colours before too long and he'll then realise that you were right all along.

    Too late of course...but it so often is. Saying 'I told you so' often isn't anywhere as appealing a statement as you imagine it's going to be.

    He will believe you and he will understand you....but not yet.

  12. #12
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    Re: My best buddy's (new) girlfriend has kids

    Another Mumford O' Crowley!

    Insert-a-daddy bastard baby and baby-maker's care provider and underling! He's the only one willing to change all the diapers!

    What a douche-bag!!!

  13. #13

    Re: My best buddy's (new) girlfriend has kids

    Try asking him key question instead of telling him directly. If he honestly answeres your question he might be persuaded to think the whole thing over. If you tell him just right in the face he will laugh it off as you already experienced. The key question procedure works 99% of the times. I did it a lot and never failed so far.

    Ask him questions about common law marriage if he's aware about the laws in the country you guys live in. Ask him about divore laws and if he knows about it. You can take control and guide him through the whole process of questions and answers. He will give the answers and he can't back down so easily if he 's the one replying . . . moreover you stimulate his own thinking process.
    I don't know if this is helpful to you but if you care about your friend give it a shot.
    Cheers
    Last edited by Natural Born MGTOW; August 9, 2018 at 4:34 PM. Reason: Grammar
    "MGTOW is an extreme measure to an extreme situation"
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  14. #14

    Re: My best buddy's (new) girlfriend has kids

    Monsters:

    Pinhead from Hellraiser

    Cenobytes: Force them into a marriage
    Pinhead: Hey, Not even I am that cruel.

  15. #15
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    Re: My best buddy's (new) girlfriend has kids

    Was going through my old topics.

    Guess what?

    No, he didn't dump her.

    He impregnated her.

    The FUCKING idiot.

  16. #16
    Senior Member Joetech's Avatar
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    Re: My best buddy's (new) girlfriend has kids

    I understand what you're saying, but when I read your post I read the words "I don't want" and then you start talking about another man's life. The only man's life you can control is yours. I wouldn't suggest you get too judgemental with your friend. He may dump you, not her. Of course she's a shit show with someone else's kids...they all are these days. Never try to grab the steering wheel of someone else's life. You and they will both regret it. Lead by example instead. Then, if it all goes to hell for him...it's his fault and his problem, not yours.
    "Don't follow in my footsteps. I stepped in something."

  17. #17
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    Re: My best buddy's (new) girlfriend has kids

    He's gone. You did what you could. Let it go.

    If he starts trying to use you as a sounding board when (not if) things start going to shit, don't let him. The only response you need to give him is, "You brought this upon yourself, I warned you before, and so I'd appreciate it if you'd not burden me with the fallout." We are here to advise and warn, not to be security blankets or pillows to cry into after things predictably go to shit.

  18. #18
    Senior Member Insidious_Sid's Avatar
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    Re: My best buddy's (new) girlfriend has kids

    Once they have musky gash addiction, there is not much you can do.
    BUT, so long as you can do guy stuff with him and he's still a reasonable friend, then be his friend.
    BUT, so long as he understands the rules:

    1. You have zero time for her drama, her problems, her kids or her anything.
    2. You're not competing with her for his time. (You're not his other girlfriend).
    3. He doesn't ask you to change or stop any behavior (through her covertly manipulating him *and* you).

    Of course, if she says "Hey, your friend needs to not be drunk and cursing around my kids."

    That's her business.

    But what you and him do on YOUR time is YOUR business.

    And remember: If she believes you are a bad influence on him, chances are you're just being a GOOD FRIEND.
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    - Where have all the good men gone? Away. Far far away... from you.
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  19. #19
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    Re: My best buddy's (new) girlfriend has kids

    There is an important point that has been missed so far. I know more than one guy that couldn't leave his bitch girlfriend because he made the mistake of falling in love with her kids. Guys are natural caretakers. If you get yourself around a single mom and those kids start looking at you like "Dad", it can be even harder to leave them than it is to leave her.

    Women know this as well. They are cunning creatures, even while not being all that bright. Don't ever underestimate the depth of their machinations.

    I know at least two dudes right now who can't leave a woman they've come to realize is the spawn of Satan because they can't bare the thought of leaving her poor innocent kids alone with the beast. I know another guy who raised a kid from age zero to like 12 and nursed his girlfriend through her heroin addiction only to have her get clean and kick the dude to the curb. She didn't care that her son looked at this guy like dad. She didn't care that he was the kids sole parent for 12 years. She was done with him and he was gone. Also, he didn't have a legal leg to stand on as he wasn't the kids real dad.

    Your dude is toast. The best you can do is be there for him when it all finally goes to shit. When that happens, he's going to find he's very short on friends because as the others have said, she is most certainly isolating him, even if you don't notice it yet. Also keep in mind that courts have given child support to women simply because the kids starting looking at some dude like dad, and he acted accordingly. Take note of the double standard legally speaking. You will have no rights to kids that aren't yours. You do however risk being held responsible for them.

    Preaching to the choir but, single moms are poison.

  20. #20
    Senior Member Azure Nomad's Avatar
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    Re: My best buddy's (new) girlfriend has kids

    Mourn for the friend that is lost to the abyss.

    You can't say you didn't try. I will never understand why a man would go above and beyond to be with a woman that already has children and turn around to impregnate that woman. Dating a single mom isn't easier, and it requires more effort from the man to make it work for a worse payoff.

    But that is what happens to men when they are not taught about their options and are forced into a narrow view of the social dynamics between men and women.


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