Thread: Becoming Husband = Turning Into A House

I visited an old friend recently. We grew up next to each, the same age, the same childhood, the same religion, everything nearly the same. He got married. I did not.

He and his wife bought a house. It is a grand house. Any conversation I have with him revolves around the house or house maintenance. How long should the blades of grass be? Should the dirt be moved this way or that way? Look at this great deal he got on his windows.

I do not own a house. I have been very mobile lately with going to different states and all for changing jobs. I have nothing against owning a house. I simply do not want the house to own me.

What did you do for your weekend? I went on a little adventure then dedicated more time to asset generation (a project of my own). What did he do? He cut the grass. But he cut it in a different way to experiment with the length of the grass. The wife comes out, barefoot, walks around the grass, and makes critiques of the grass length. "It needs to be a centimeter shorter," she declares.

I try to divert the conversation to something else like the upcoming economic collapse, the shift of industries, new technologies, anything, but the conversation returns to the glory of this house and what he is doing to maintain the house.

What is a man? Apparently, he is a house. To become a husband is to become a house. The first thing the married couple does is to buy a house, and then the husband will serve a lifelong sentence in maintaining that house. For her pleasure.

Gentlemen, I wish to become a 'man' and not a house. I never struck out to become a 'Man Going His Own Way'. I simply wanted one thing: to become a man.

Are your days and thoughts on this earth filled with nothing but house maintenance and chores what constitutes earthly life? IS THIS A MAN!?

I have nothing against house ownership and maintenance, but I find it pathetic that man, a lion, is trained to do only this in his free time. He is not conquering new worlds and discovering new lands. He is... cutting the grass... repairing the hedge...

MGTOW is always framed as men running away from the plantation of intolerable pains. I've never saw it that way. Just by being a man made me incompatible with the role that corporations, women, and general society wanted me to be in. They will say, "A Real Man does X..." where X is being leveraged to serve them. To me, the choice is simple: you are either a man or you are a tool. I do not believe the point of earthly life is be served as being someone's tool.

Sadly, it was impossible to bond with my old friend. We might as well have been from different countries.

I bought my own house once, many years ago, and I was single at the time.

Initially it felt great – hey, I’m on the road to success. I have my foot firmly on the ladder.

It didn’t take long for that to change. I sold up after 4 years because it began to feel more of a burden than an asset.

Yes prices appreciate and at the time I sold appreciation was going through the roof. I lost out big time financially, but did I lose out overall?

Owning my own gaff left me feeling trapped like I was stuck in some sort of inescapable loop. Stay where I was for the rest of my days (I was in my 20’s) or get into the trading-up mind set. Either way I felt trapped.

Selling up and putting the notion of owning behind me allowed me the freedom to find a better life for myself. My rent may be ever increasing but I don’t have the maintenance worries, never mind the always changing tax disincentives.

And yet, if I’d have stayed put my home would be paid out by now.

But I’m happier where I am now, given to me by the freedom of not being tied down.

What price happiness?

Good OP. I remember in my 20s, saying, I hate mowing the lawn. It never ends. Men everywhere, mowing lawns. Is this my destiny, to be so involved with this fucking plant?

I've been paying to have my lawn mowed for 27 years now. Well worth it, given my attitude. I do all other yard care, prefer to do it myself, and it has a therapeutic value. I'm even out there in the summer watering the grass, the only one in my area who does, as letting it go brown for months bums me out to see it. I just don't want to cut it.

I'm 40, single and I'm inheriting my dad's house. Not that I'm glad my dad is gone, because I still miss him, but one benefit of living alone is I don't have to clean up the dishes, the garbage as often as I did before. I still need to take care of my cat as I always do. With my dad gone and some money saved up, I can plan on my pinball collection, but I won't do it until the estate is set up and I can clean out the basement and garage. Maybe if circumstances are right with my best friend, he might move in my house and help pay half expenses, which will make saving up for Man Cave #4 (the game room) twice as easy.

Originally Posted by Unboxxed

Good OP. I remember in my 20s, saying, I hate mowing the lawn. It never ends. Men everywhere, mowing lawns. Is this my destiny, to be so involved with this fucking plant?

I've been paying to have my lawn mowed for 27 years now. Well worth it, given my attitude. I do all other yard care, prefer to do it myself, and it has a therapeutic value. I'm even out there in the summer watering the grass, the only one in my area who does, as letting it go brown for months bums me out to see it. I just don't want to cut it.

You just didn't have the right mower, perhaps something in V-8, or Cummins Diesel?

Even better, a robot mower with it's own charging station, I know they have robotic vacuum cleaners, but having a mower run over a stupid kid for fucking with it, must come with cost inhibiting liability.

I'm lucky I guess - the livestock handle most of the mowing...picking up one of these for the horses to pull and getting rid of the riding mower, but hey, to each their own!

Originally Posted by mgtower

You just didn't have the right mower, perhaps something in V-8, or Cummins Diesel?

Even better, a robot mower with it's own charging station, I know they have robotic vacuum cleaners, but having a mower run over a stupid kid for fucking with it, must come with cost inhibiting liability.

I had bought a new Briggs & Stratton 4HP commercial model with round cast iron deck. 4HP was a decent speed back in the 80s, I recall. Collecting dust in the shed nowadays.

In Phoenix, everybody had Bermuda grass. I hated it. It's evil. It had streamers that reached out and re-rooted every 8-12 inches, crawling across places it could never re-root, like driveways and sidewalks, in its search for world domination. Never was a pretty sight, my lawn, even when mowed. A death grass in a death valley. Green? Fuggetaboutit.

Here in Seattle, thankfully there is no Bermuda grass but my neighbor has Morning Glory. Beautiful name but a sinister plant, finds its way through the slats of the fence. The boa constrictor of the plant world. Sure, let it stream and it makes nice white flowers, but by the time it flowers, it has wrapped itself around your other plants, your fence, and your soul. That flower looking at you is declaring, I won, you asshole.

When the sewer backed up once was the only time I ever cursed being a homeowner.

Otherwise, the good has far outweighed the bad, specially the way they gouge renters anymore. If I want to change it, there's nobody to say no. I cut a hole in the kitchen wall so I could park half of the Harley in the bedroom closet. Did it for years.

Mowing the yards fun if you have a riding mower. I could cut grass all day with it.

Originally Posted by frog

When the sewer backed up once was the only time I ever cursed being a homeowner.

Otherwise, the good has far outweighed the bad, specially the way they gouge renters anymore. If I want to change it, there's nobody to say no. I cut a hole in the kitchen wall so I could park half of the Harley in the bedroom closet. Did it for years.

Mowing the yards fun if you have a riding mower. I could cut grass all day with it.

My mower is 750lbs and manufactured 1970, my box store rider is reserved for towing the leaf-vac trailer.

When you live deep in the forest, you can take a rake and shove it up your ass, because that's all it's worth, the vac-trailer holds about 250lbs of mulched leaves, and every season it's good for 10 loads, using a rake, your hands would be bleeding! I also see trees as really tall grass that needs mowing.

I do own my own house and it's awesome. I see my house as this thing that stops me paying rent and appreciates in value. I think everyone should own their own home, it doesn't have to be an actual house, it could be an apartment etc but rent is expensive in Australia. Rent now can cost more than I ever did paying off my mortgage but at least the mortgage ends!

That is different though to someone who is obsessed with always talking about the same thing. It doesn't matter what that "thing" is, it gets tiring to hear it over and over again. For me my house is a place to keep my toys. I will most likely never paint it or give it any type of make over.

I know what the OP means though. Women love to re-do things, one married guy I know had to strip down the furniture and re paint it because it no longer matched the drapes his wife was going to put up! Replacing things that are neither worn or broken etc etc it can be a money pit.

Originally Posted by Kryptic

rent is expensive in Australia. Rent now can cost more than I ever did paying off my mortgage but at least the mortgage ends!

I agree, much cheaper to own than to rent.

A few years ago, a co-worker (single male) was all upset when he started his swing of N/S, I ask what was up? He said his landlord had given him notice to move as the unit he was renting was going up for sale. I asked him how much; he didn't know but didn't think he could afford it. I told him to find out how much to buy then go to mortgage broker and find out if he could afford it. The next night he was all smiles, he had put in an offer and if accepted his repayments would be less that he was paying in rent. He ended up buying the place.

Young couples often make the mistake of buying too expensive, all good with 2 incomes. Then she gets preggo and wants to be a SAHM, he is left trying to support her, the dream home, and the kids. Whatever to woman wants is more than likely counterproductive to the man.

The house I had before this one I tried to make perfect…that’s no way to live for me. I no longer want to turn my house into an idol or use it to impress others. In fact I prefer a house like mine that is far from perfect condition because it prevents any OCD tendencies from even getting started. My house will never be close to perfect and I like that…it’s comfy…kinda like an old truck that’s reliable and you can park anywhere without worrying about a scratch or ding. I hate all those HGTV shows too with the picky husband and wife trying to agree on some domesticated bullshit.

Conversation Topics With Friend: Video games, TV shows, science fiction, science, Star Trek, Legos, Money, News, Girls

-30 YEARS LATER-

Conversation Topics With Friend: Nuances of Cutting Grass, Fixing Old Truck, Moving Dirt Around, What Great Deal They Got On House

Any conversation topic above is now verboten. The wife will make an appearance to bring the conversation back on track to home maintenance.

I don't want anyone to feel defensive if they enjoy doing this work, but the point is as a boy, this wasn't the future you wanted. Cutting the grass was a CHORE. But the husband is brainwashed to think it is an adventure. "I like being outside," they tell me with full belief.

You see, I DON'T like being outside because I am outside all the time anyway for work. Which would I choose for day? To play NES Blaster Master or to mow the lawn? I'd rather play NES Blaster Master. Mowing the lawn is a chore. I hate it. If I don't have to do it, I won't.

I'm talking about a PSYCHOSIS. Husbands will think it is *normal* to spend their free time 'working on the house' just as they think it is *normal* to spend majority of their time making someone else rich (i.e. the 'job'). They are told they are an 'adult' and that I, someone who doesn't work on a house on my days off and works where I want, how I want, and easily goes somewhere else is someone not fit for society.

What is 'marriage'? It's a house. I have never seen a couple lead to any other conclusion than a house. Ever. And once in the house, the man is condemned to constantly repair and upgrade it by the wife's specifications (unless he is wealthy enough to pay others to do it for him). And should she tire of the man, especially if the man doesn't live to his role of being Beast of Burden, she will take the house from him.

Find a woman you hate and buy her a house. That is the conclusion of the marriage process.

I will write on their tombstones: "He cut the grass every week. And he trimmed those hedges very well." What a waste of life. Is this a man?

It is said that you will discover a people's religion when you get a rise out of them. So if I walk to Times Square of New York and say, "Christ doesn't exist," I will get no reaction because Christianity is not the religion of the Americans. However, if I say something like, "Maybe someone shouldn't own a house," or "The house you live in is not an asset" [it isn't], the crying and screams are deafening.

Every conversation I have with a 'husband' is like the below video except they talk about the outside maintenance and how 'wonderful' and 'fun' it is to do on their days off.

Originally Posted by Macavity

Conversation Topics With Friend: Video games, TV shows, science fiction, science, Star Trek, Legos, Money, News, Girls

-30 YEARS LATER-

Conversation Topics With Friend: Nuances of Cutting Grass, Fixing Old Truck, Moving Dirt Around, What Great Deal They Got On House

Any conversation topic above is now verboten. The wife will make an appearance to bring the conversation back on track to home maintenance.

I don't want anyone to feel defensive if they enjoy doing this work, but the point is as a boy, this wasn't the future you wanted. Cutting the grass was a CHORE. But the husband is brainwashed to think it is an adventure. "I like being outside," they tell me with full belief.

You see, I DON'T like being outside because I am outside all the time anyway for work. Which would I choose for day? To play NES Blaster Master or to mow the lawn? I'd rather play NES Blaster Master. Mowing the lawn is a chore. I hate it. If I don't have to do it, I won't.

I'm talking about a PSYCHOSIS. Husbands will think it is *normal* to spend their free time 'working on the house' just as they think it is *normal* to spend majority of their time making someone else rich (i.e. the 'job'). They are told they are an 'adult' and that I, someone who doesn't work on a house on my days off and works where I want, how I want, and easily goes somewhere else is someone not fit for society.

What is 'marriage'? It's a house. I have never seen a couple lead to any other conclusion than a house. Ever. And once in the house, the man is condemned to constantly repair and upgrade it by the wife's specifications (unless he is wealthy enough to pay others to do it for him). And should she tire of the man, especially if the man doesn't live to his role of being Beast of Burden, she will take the house from him.

Find a woman you hate and buy her a house. That is the conclusion of the marriage process.

I will write on their tombstones: "He cut the grass every week. And he trimmed those hedges very well." What a waste of life. Is this a man?

It is said that you will discover a people's religion when you get a rise out of them. So if I walk to Times Square of New York and say, "Christ doesn't exist," I will get no reaction because Christianity is not the religion of the Americans. However, if I say something like, "Maybe someone shouldn't own a house," or "The house you live in is not an asset" [it isn't], the crying and screams are deafening.

Every conversation I have with a 'husband' is like the below video except they talk about the outside maintenance and how 'wonderful' and 'fun' it is to do on their days off.

That's a fair analysis with respect to marriage/houses and the annoying conversations - I see it too with many of my married friends...so I agree... but for MGTOW - to each their own I suppose. I personally think that a grown man playing video games and watching TV Shows is a ridiculous waste of time, but if you enjoy those things, great.

A lot of men don't work outside all day either - so the ability to take some pride in and maintain their home/surroundings is something they certainly don't see as a chore. I own a farm (which is also my "job") and literally what I do all day is the very origin of the word "chore". A lot of what I do around here just with respect to upkeep could be seen as chores by others - but I love it so I certainly don't see it that way.

I would add that I've wanted this since I was a young boy (a farm - I grew up in an urban environment) and always loved helping my dad doing our "chores" around the yard etc. The "Super Nintendo" was my last console around the age of 15 - I just preferred being outside and productive - but I've always been a bit different...

My primary inspiration for going MGTOW is my uncle - he is a semi-retired millwright and spent his career inside of factories. His spare time is/was used doing chores and maintaining/improving his home and property. When we visit each other - that's the first thing we talk about while touring around our respective properties.

KRF- I had an almost identical relationship with my uncle for 30+ years. We both love working with our hands, fixing and building things. Both are into boats and own a couple each. Boats require constant maintenance. If you don’t enjoy doing the maintenance, boating will cost you a fortune and you’ll hate it. You’ll be broke down more than you’re running.

He’s 85 now and struggling with dimentia, but I’ll never forget the great times I had with him and how much I learned from him.

I am firmly entrenched in the own a house camp and love the satisfaction that comes with doing all of it myself, to my own standards. Not having a nagging albatross bitching about how SHE wants things makes it a totally enjoyable affair for me. It keeps me on my feet and prevents me from sitting around on my ass. There’s always something to maintain / improve. It’s a polar difference from my desk job, which I need. I should have my place that I paid $450k for worth a million bucks by the time I retire (unless somehow Biden and his socialist buddies somehow stay in power). I’m not big on landscaping, grass, etc. I grow vegetables. I set up things in my yard to be as maintenance free as possible. Minimal grass to cut; set up so you don’t ever need to trim. No flowers. Low maintenance trees. I concentrate on things I like doing- building cabinets, outdoor furniture, boat upgrades, house upgrades.

If fits my ghost like existence well, and should be a good nest egg for my kids to split up when I die.

> Just by being a man made me incompatible with the role that corporations, women, and general society wanted me to be in.

Well said.

Metrics tons of social propaganda have been required in order to manipulate man into marriage and away from his natural, independent nature. The propaganda is still there; but the deal has never been worse and the Internet is a guerilla radio around the "Control System".

My brother went the same way. Dude used to be an interesting guy before marriage. Now it's the same thing- "we're adding X to our backyard". I often felt bad in our discussions because I would have to feign interest in these things.

80% of men are classified by women as 'undesirables' (or 'below average' according to the relevant study). If you're one, you're being married to pay off her student debt, pay for the home, pay for the baby. Do not expect sex after successful sperm donation results in children. Why should she hook up with a "below average" guy?

I'm talking about a PSYCHOSIS. Husbands will think it is *normal* to spend their free time 'working on the house' just as they think it is *normal* to spend majority of their time making someone else rich (i.e. the 'job'). They are told they are an 'adult' and that I, someone who doesn't work on a house on my days off and works where I want, how I want, and easily goes somewhere else is someone not fit for society.

This is very good. This is exactly getting to the bottom of what's going on. The average married man is a "Stepford Husband". No one ever talks about that (or makes a movie on it).

Originally Posted by Survivor64

KRF- I had an almost identical relationship with my uncle for 30+ years. We both love working with our hands, fixing and building things. Both are into boats and own a couple each. Boats require constant maintenance. If you don’t enjoy doing the maintenance, boating will cost you a fortune and you’ll hate it. You’ll be broke down more than you’re running.

Oh I know all about boats - my dad was a sailor...he closed on the sale of it the day before he died and as much as I enjoyed the time on the water I didn't need the "chore"

If owning a house and taking pride in its upkeep gives you something that you enjoy then I’m all for it.

As long as you’re doing it for your own enjoyment then go for it.

Personally it’s not the life for me but to each his own.

I own my own house. The way i see it is it's a base to live your life from. Go on holidays, do whatever you want basically but you've always got a base to come home too. Not having to do deal with landlords, moving every 12 months or so suits me. Plus, I'm in a great location. Five-minute walk to the center of town, train station etc.

Best thing it's all mine, no woman living with me to nag my balls off or claim it as her own after a period of time.

Back when I was married it was a fucking weight around my neck but now I like owning my own house. My home is older, it's plenty big for my needs but not huge. I paid it off years ago and now instead of a big yard to mow, I have a large shop building out back where I get to putter around and build cool shit to my heart's content. I pay a neighbor to mow what little grass I have whenever he mows his yard.

I put most of my former house payment into my retirement but I do have an emergency fund to take care of things that break unexpectedly.

It's my happy place.