Thread: Are all Men this socially retarded/boring?

I'm in a new place (Dubai) and am using a friend-finder app to expand my social circle since I came here not knowing anyone. I meet friends mostly in other ways like events, through the people I know. But I wanted to try it because it sounds like a good idea.

I'm amazed how 90% of other men don't know how to hold a conversation. Like they are boring to tears, say little to nothing of interest. When women used to say men are like this, I would disagree but now I wonder. Has social media, smart phones, and video/computer games turned people into complete dullards?

I noticed this IRL to some degree. It seems today people including men have bigger ego's (in this entitlement era we live in) but have an arrested-development personality. When I meet up with people, IF there is some common interest that binds the group, like some work subject, into the same sports, etc. - there's conversation. Absent that, nothing.

We talk about female regression but now I'm wondering if men are regressing as well.

Maybe they just don't want to talk. If someone is bugging me, I'm excessively boring so they go away.

Not everyone wants to talk to strangers.

Also, who knows if you're some crazy leftist looking to get triggered. They have no clue.

When I was in my 20s and living in small town Wyoming, I was one of the alpha dogs in the pack I ran with. I'm not talking sexually, I mean in assertiveness, daring, making things happen.

So I moved to big-city Phoenix, a valley of 2 million people, and I became an instant nobody. No crew around me like I had before. But I still had my energy and outspokenness. The people at work didn't know what to make of me, I think. For my part, I thought everybody around me had given up. I felt I had to motivate people to do basic things in communication and problem-solving. I was undaunted, though, and was the guy I was, (some people would whisper, "Who is that guy?") and without realizing it I developed a reputation to not try to put things over on me because I could hold my own. I learned this from a manager years later. Looking back, I see the respect I was getting was because of how I came across while I assumed it was just the way people ought to treat each other. I didn't know I was holding people off of me or anything like that. Overall, I view my time in Phoenix as unpleasant, like I derailed from Plan A in life and was living Plan B or something.

I moved to Seattle years later, where I now live, what are we now, over 700,000 in population, and the people here generally are docile to me. They don't think they are. While I was still a working man here, I had notoriety but in a good way. I became the GoTo Guy forcing the right way into getting things done, which became the bold way, another way of being the alpha dog, I suppose.

So, different areas have different styles of peeple, I'd say. Phoenix was a city of transplants from other geographic areas. How new is the modern Dubai? Is Dubai no different than Phoenix, full of recent transplants, causing everyone there to pull into themselves, simply using caution, just to play it safe?

Or, ha, is there some unseen police force ready to swoop in at slightest infraction, then you disappear and wind up as lawn fertilizer like in a sci-fi movie.

What I'm saying, Jagr, is that, like me, you may be stuck with who you are, wherever you go.

Originally Posted by jagrmeister

I'm in a new place (Dubai) and am using a friend-finder app to expand my social circle since I came here not knowing anyone. I meet friends mostly in other ways like events, through the people I know. But I wanted to try it because it sounds like a good idea.

I'm amazed how 90% of other men don't know how to hold a conversation. Like they are boring to tears, say little to nothing of interest. When women used to say men are like this, I would disagree but now I wonder. Has social media, smart phones, and video/computer games turned people into complete dullards?

I noticed this IRL to some degree. It seems today people including men have bigger ego's (in this entitlement era we live in) but have an arrested-development personality. When I meet up with people, IF there is some common interest that binds the group, like some work subject, into the same sports, etc. - there's conversation. Absent that, nothing.

We talk about female regression but now I'm wondering if men are regressing as well.

Yes, social media has a very negative effect on interactions. It really is a constant dopamin hit and makes people addicted. The trend to pack content within a couple of seconds only to then switch the topic in another video fucks up attention spans. The goal is to infuriate or to be controverse to cause a positive or negative impulse on the receiving end.

What also could be in your case is that you are new and don't know the people around you well. I wouldn't say I'm boring in the beginning but I need time to get to know the people around me first to be able to open up and speak more confidently.

Most women are really boring as well. I don't think people have as many interests as they used to have and that adds to their limited range of conversation. When I started working in the 90's people would converse about a lot of different things, history, culture, movies, books, music, day to day stuff, hobbies etc. Now it seems to all revolve around money and work, sometimes crappy reality TV. Even sports isn't discussed as much as it used to be.

In some ways I put it down to multi cult in that we don't have that shared culture anymore but I think it is also other things like society being dumbed down and people just becoming more boring.

That said, I don't talk very much anyway but if you engage me on the right topics I might talk too much lol.

TBH I’ve always thought most people unwilling to engage in meaningful conversation, but not incapable. Many have surprised me over the years with their depth of knowledge and insight that they keep hidden and with the ongoing political correctness it’s only getting worse.

I used to laugh inside at women’s fascination with soap operas, then I realised that many men do exactly the same only with guys the fascination tends to be sport.

My guess is it’s easy, meaningless conversation that allows people to socialise, temporarily forgetting their worries which is what most socialising is about after all.

This kind of leaves me out in the cold with most social conversation because I’ve little interest in either. All that’s left for me is to poke fun at the political antics of the day, being careful only to mention those that most, if not all can agree on.

Originally Posted by Unboxxed

When I was in my 20s and living in small town Wyoming, I was one of the alpha dogs in the pack I ran with. I'm not talking sexually, I mean in assertiveness, daring, making things happen.

So I moved to big-city Phoenix, a valley of 2 million people, and I became an instant nobody. No crew around me like I had before. But I still had my energy and outspokenness. The people at work didn't know what to make of me, I think. For my part, I thought everybody around me had given up. I felt I had to motivate people to do basic things in communication and problem-solving. I was undaunted, though, and was the guy I was, (some people would whisper, "Who is that guy?") and without realizing it I developed a reputation to not try to put things over on me because I could hold my own. I learned this from a manager years later. Looking back, I see the respect I was getting was because of how I came across while I assumed it was just the way people ought to treat each other. I didn't know I was holding people off of me or anything like that. Overall, I view my time in Phoenix as unpleasant, like I derailed from Plan A in life and was living Plan B or something.

I moved to Seattle years later, where I now live, what are we now, over 700,000 in population, and the people here generally are docile to me. They don't think they are. While I was still a working man here, I had notoriety but in a good way. I became the GoTo Guy forcing the right way into getting things done, which became the bold way, another way of being the alpha dog, I suppose.

So, different areas have different styles of peeple, I'd say. Phoenix was a city of transplants from other geographic areas. How new is the modern Dubai? Is Dubai no different than Phoenix, full of recent transplants, causing everyone there to pull into themselves, simply using caution, just to play it safe?

Or, ha, is there some unseen police force ready to swoop in at slightest infraction, then you disappear and wind up as lawn fertilizer like in a sci-fi movie.

What I'm saying, Jagr, is that, like me, you may be stuck with who you are, wherever you go.

Yeah. That's why I'm trying to move to Texas where there's a vibrant Christian men communities, (I do want to set up a Single men club or group in Texas), and run with the pack. I sense most liberal communities are weak, and many times they said to me, they "would never move to Texas", because of lame excuse, like "because most Texan are red neck, that love family and guns". I"m like, of course, Why do you think they have better and strong connections like Christian communities in Texas???

Most liberal communities are very weak and docile, and I rather move out of Washington State, and move into Texas, where they had family and guns communities.

This is one of the bigger reasons I'm not that social. People expect me to stand there while they go on and on and on, but if what I got to say takes more than a few seconds I watch their eyes just glaze over. They talk all day yet won't listen to anyone else.

I meet people all day long that don't understand why we are all born with 2 ears and 1 mouth..

A few days ago I went to a family thing with my mom…maybe 7-8 cousins there between 30-40 with spouses and children. The conversations I heard were so boring that it was like nails on a chalkboard.

I never liked small talk because it always came across to me as meaningless chatter. Later in life I realized that the chief reason is that I just don't give a rats ass about most peoples idiotic lives. I'm not jaded or anything, it's just that I don't want to waste my time on things that have no perceived value to me.

Originally Posted by Chris007

I never liked small talk because it always came across to me as meaningless chatter. Later in life I realized that the chief reason is that I just don't give a rats ass about most peoples idiotic lives. I'm not jaded or anything, it's just that I don't want to waste my time on things that have no perceived value to me.

Yeah, it’s hard for me to do small talk. It’s like I want to hear something unique or just not talk at all. I don’t want to hear about your home improvements, boring job (99.9% of people), “funny” crap you saw online, etc, etc. I’ve said it for many years now but I think people live digitally now…we live in this online world more than the real world so of course interacting in person will become more and more awkward. And with us all living digitally we move toward all becoming the same person. Before life went online people grew up and matured organically in their own little pockets of the world.

I complained about this and how much of society feels like they are robots who hibernate when they aren't around others because they often tell you they did nothing when you were are away. I was called a boomer even though these are American concepts. We don't mirror population development of America in my country. Plus, I would a millennial if I was born in America.

People are getting more and more superficial and the lowering standards of living and the tightening draconian global control of the few individuals left people with little space to have rich experiences outside work and have interesting stories to tell. Most people are worker drones as the elite wants them to be.

The instant gratification industry also contributes. You could go hitch hiking or mountain claiming and get the dopamine hit and feel good, or you can watch a cat fall into a pond.

Also, I was surprised to see the IQs worldwide are decreasing. (I don't take IQ serious. I use it as crude way to gauge sophistication of somebody in life. It works for well for that.)

And here's the most sobering one. Social life contributes hugely to intelligence. It's on par with doing math.
* Kids with parents who converse more are smarter than who don't.
* Isolation causes cognitive decline.
* Reading out loud, not silently, is better for your cognition. It improves verbal memory.
* Having social connections (friends, family, colleagues and such) improves your mental health, combats brain fog, and reduces risk of Alzheimer

And tons of other evidence points to socializing improves your life.

Kids today do the least of it. 20% of Americans say they don't have friends. No money for travel. Work long hours, no time for fun. Terminally online. And so on. And this is happening globally.

I don't know what advice I can give other than keep trying. Do google search, see what percentage shares your interest, what demography, where, and so on. You can also try joining clubs of your interest if there's any accessible.

I have stated this on the forums a few different times. Most men bore me. I can't stand the fake machoism.

Here is the usual things most men say:

1. Violence/tough guy act. "I can beat up that guy", "I beat up 10 guys when I was 25 and the cops thanked me", etc blah blah blah.

2."Pussy". "I banged this hot chick", "you get no pussy", etc.

3. Complaints / Drama. The old "My name is Bennett and I ain't in it but if it happens to me then I expect you to help me".

I stay away from people in general. I can't stand the fakeness and the drama. I said it once and I'll say it again. Women are just taking advantage of mens' fake egos that's why it's easy for them to manipulate men. Notice how women always insult the ego? "John is better than you", "I think you are gay", "Men are assholes", etc. It makes the weak men give in and try to prove her wrong. It never will. No matter how much you do for her she'll just monkey branch on to the next guy once she gets what she wants from you.

Men box each other in to corners. Notice how women can act, dress, and do whatever they please and nobody says a word. But if a guy doesn't conform to the fake macho tough guy act then other men call him gay and single him out. It's all bull crap.

Originally Posted by Jackoff

TBH I’ve always thought most people unwilling to engage in meaningful conversation, but not incapable. Many have surprised me over the years with their depth of knowledge and insight that they keep hidden and with the ongoing political correctness it’s only getting worse.

I used to laugh inside at women’s fascination with soap operas, then I realised that many men do exactly the same only with guys the fascination tends to be sport.

My guess is it’s easy, meaningless conversation that allows people to socialise, temporarily forgetting their worries which is what most socialising is about after all.

This kind of leaves me out in the cold with most social conversation because I’ve little interest in either. All that’s left for me is to poke fun at the political antics of the day, being careful only to mention those that most, if not all can agree on.

Sports fans amuse me. The way they speak about it as if they are part of the team and have some say in what happens. In Australia Aussie Rules football used to be very grass roots even at the elite level. The players had day jobs and there wasn't as much money in it as there is now. Then it went big time and the players and game itself is so far above the average fan it is amazing that the fans still talk as if they are part of it all. Then of course they sit and listen the Woke speeches and indoctrination because they are sheep.

Sports is male soap opera. The players tend to always be in some kind of (self inflicted) drama. I used to like pro wrestling until they amped up the soap opera and lowered the actual wrestling matches. And yes, I know it's all fake.

Originally Posted by frog

This is one of the bigger reasons I'm not that social. People expect me to stand there while they go on and on and on, but if what I got to say takes more than a few seconds I watch their eyes just glaze over. They talk all day yet won't listen to anyone else.

I used to work with a bloke who would talk so much and yet when you would try and get a word in he would look at you as if you were being rude to interrupt him! I work with a woman now who will come out with random shit. It's at least kind of funny as she contradicts herself so often that I can no longer take her seriously. But it does get tiresome. I'm introverted and listening to people talk at me is draining.

Originally Posted by Chris007

I never liked small talk because it always came across to me as meaningless chatter. Later in life I realized that the chief reason is that I just don't give a rats ass about most peoples idiotic lives. I'm not jaded or anything, it's just that I don't want to waste my time on things that have no perceived value to me.

A lot of people talk about stuff because they are trying to big note themselves as well. Whether it is about the new car or couch they bought or even their ailments. I don't care to hear it. I also found that people who travel overseas come back no richer for it.

Originally Posted by Edwardhaskell

Yeah, it’s hard for me to do small talk. It’s like I want to hear something unique or just not talk at all. I don’t want to hear about your home improvements, boring job (99.9% of people), “funny” crap you saw online, etc, etc. I’ve said it for many years now but I think people live digitally now…we live in this online world more than the real world so of course interacting in person will become more and more awkward. And with us all living digitally we move toward all becoming the same person. Before life went online people grew up and matured organically in their own little pockets of the world.

If I told you about my job you might need therapy! A lot of people wouldn't fully understand what I do and how it all works. The amount of serious incidents and people threatening suicide etc Then the hours of not much or just babysitting the staff as they struggle to overcome things like not locking the keys to the safe in the safe.

Society has become harsher too in many ways. No sooner did we overcome CoVid and lockdowns we got the Ukraine war and inflation. In Australia we have areas flooded and we are coming onto bushfire season. Woke politics is divisive and produces angry people who all think they are owed something. People studying things they will never use and going into debt for it. Hoping they will never have to work a regular job. It all adds up.

Any time I am with my family (not often) the course of conversation is basically "Price of fuel... bills.. inflation.... ouch, getting old..." I can't get into that. They ask me what I have been doing and I say nothing. I bring up playing guitar and I get criticized, I get criticized because I have a few guitars. I don't need to chat at all but I don't want to just chat mindlessly about misery either. Can small talk be about things that aren't miserable? Not to some people!

Originally Posted by MGTOWFOREVER

I have stated this on the forums a few different times. Most men bore me. I can't stand the fake machoism.

Here is the usual things most men say:

1. Violence/tough guy act. "I can beat up that guy", "I beat up 10 guys when I was 25 and the cops thanked me", etc blah blah blah.

2."Pussy". "I banged this hot chick", "you get no pussy", etc.

3. Complaints / Drama. The old "My name is Bennett and I ain't in it but if it happens to me then I expect you to help me".

I stay away from people in general. I can't stand the fakeness and the drama. I said it once and I'll say it again. Women are just taking advantage of mens' fake egos that's why it's easy for them to manipulate men. Notice how women always insult the ego? "John is better than you", "I think you are gay", "Men are assholes", etc. It makes the weak men give in and try to prove her wrong. It never will. No matter how much you do for her she'll just monkey branch on to the next guy once she gets what she wants from you.

Men box each other in to corners. Notice how women can act, dress, and do whatever they please and nobody says a word. But if a guy doesn't conform to the fake macho tough guy act then other men call him gay and single him out. It's all bull crap.

The One Uppers are boring. Wanting to grand stand or try and cajole others into a fight so they can prove they are Alpha males, they spend so much time in trying to prove their worth.

I've always stayed quiet and kept out of it. I avoid social situations because of games like that. People like to play games even when there is no purpose for it, other than to fuel their own egos of course. Which I guess is the only thing some people have.

People are gonna have to prove to me that they are worth MY time at this point in my life.

If they aren't dense or boring; they are anal-retentive narcissists. Besides; networking which is the real skill you want to develop to make the right friends so you can make fuck you money, is only done at events. Stop wasting your time.

Originally Posted by DangZagnut

Maybe they just don't want to talk. If someone is bugging me, I'm excessively boring so they go away.

Not everyone wants to talk to strangers.

Also, who knows if you're some crazy leftist looking to get triggered. They have no clue.

The official term for that is the grey rock method.

Originally Posted by Neo

The official term for that is the grey rock method.

I've done that all my life and only now did I know it had a name!

It is very effective especially in the sense that it allows you to "hold up a mirror" to the person who is hassling or abusing you. This can be very effective in a social setting with lots of witnesses. Someone abuses you so rather than escalate it by retaliating you just remain silent, this means their comment "hangs in the air" for all to hear. You rob them of their moment and they look like arseholes.

Works when people just talk random shit too. "Hey I just bought this new piece of shit!" - "Oh ok... nice... " if you even say that.

Just disengage and be uninteresting.

Originally Posted by jagrmeister

I'm in a new place (Dubai) and am using a friend-finder app to expand my social circle since I came here not knowing anyone. I meet friends mostly in other ways like events, through the people I know. But I wanted to try it because it sounds like a good idea.

I'm amazed how 90% of other men don't know how to hold a conversation. Like they are boring to tears, say little to nothing of interest. When women used to say men are like this, I would disagree but now I wonder. Has social media, smart phones, and video/computer games turned people into complete dullards?

I noticed this IRL to some degree. It seems today people including men have bigger ego's (in this entitlement era we live in) but have an arrested-development personality. When I meet up with people, IF there is some common interest that binds the group, like some work subject, into the same sports, etc. - there's conversation. Absent that, nothing.

We talk about female regression but now I'm wondering if men are regressing as well.

Actually. The male ego ( similar to women's fragile ego) is somewhat true and has evolved like that over the years. From mid 2000 to now it has evolved into shit. I heard stories how things were before the materialistic world. And it's all happening from the effect of social media and college. Dividing into groups on foolish reasons like who has hair on his head, who has more money. Flaunting materialistic wealth like showing off expensive car, clothing, phone, etc. And then making friends on the basis and further on fighting and making divisions like a women's fragile ego, ego wars. Before 2000s there wasn't much. Now it's all a status based game. Ego vs ego. The guys you encountered didn't say much cause they consider themselves celebrities in their own head, i bet they will have hour long talks with women so that they can everyone how beautiful their girl is and ego satisfied.

Jag, I think most people are that boring. Only a few of us know how to utilize our will power beyond being consumer-cattle.

I can’t watch TV. It makes me lose IQ points. I can’t listen to the radio because of the commercials. I prefer being a smart ass when being caught in small talk…I absolutely loathe sportsball…I can however watch live hockey for some reason…

What it comes down too is water seeks its level and most of us that have higher, or more refined convictions, or more refined insights, so we are outcasts until we meet someone on the level…

I personally, have learned to embrace being alone without becoming lonely. Occasional socialization, on my terms, seems to further refine my character.

Some people just float through life, mostly women. And, when I come across men that are only living for some form of upgrade in material wealth I laugh…I mean, will power is the the foundation to creativity, what personal limits can I push, and what lessons will come of them?

Or, I can argue which bar has the best chicken wings with some pea brain, with such extreme enthusiasm, that I am inclined to post a pic of my plate to FakeBook while waiting for the sportsball game to come on…Go Team!

Fuck that, I’m sifting through my playlist to find a match to my current vibe, and fine tuning my finances, perfecting a favorite dish in the kitchen, firing up a fat daddy and blasting off on a road trip to get some wind therapy, or maybe just peace and quiet resting my aching body in my comfy bed, maybe reading, maybe napping…or daydreaming about what project I want to work on next…

I enjoy the randomness that comes along when just living my life how I want. Simple as…Forget the fakes and the flakes, take care of number one and people will come to you…