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  1. #1
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    Reluctant to go my own way

    Hi<br><br>My name is Calberic and Im going my own way. First things first; relationships with women. I have had the same schoolyard crush as every idiot going thru puberty, with constant boners and a fetish for anything that gave me attention. In my highschool years I grew out of my shell and was given the roll of Chad. I've had a lot of casual relationships and one night stands. In my early 20's I join the armed forces as a Marine for the Swedish Royal Navy.&nbsp;<br>After three years I made Sargent and was raped by my peers for being the smallest guy in the unit. I hated men after that. The camaraderie was out the window and everyone dies alone. I started to use a lot of drugs and still using sex and women as a form of addiction.&nbsp;<br><br>One day I met an Angel. Her name is Lola (it really isnt but for the sake of the intro and respect for her I wont name her). I found her in one of my haze nights. She is innocent and pure, I was blue pilled and enamored. After a few months of comunication back and forth she offered to pay for my debts and give me a place to rent, and with a cherry on top she wanted to fuck my brains out. She is the nurturing type. Ofc I sayd yes and moved. Big city guy in to a small rural town of a few thousands where everyone know your name. I quickly got a reputation as the town asshole, since I was looking for work as I was getting sober, had no way to contact my suppliers and to be honsest i didnt want to. Found a lot of diffrent low paying jobs that were very bad. Treated like shit by everyone in that small racist town. (Im brown and live in scandenavia) After 3 years with this unhappy but sober new life I couldnt take it anymore. I was now in control of my life but Lola kept cutting my wings so that i could stay. She would use my money for stuff like present to her friends (note; she earns more than 3x what i do), she kept talking me in to getting children even tho i dont want to. I had to escape.<br><br>I love documenturies and saw one that's called "The Red Pill". I guess most of you have seen it (if not, it introduced me to the Mens Rights Movement and MGTOW). I started to hang out at MGTOW on reddit and soon was in need of more informatino, inspiration and guidence. Im reading "Beyond good and Evil" and a lot of feminist litterature to balance me out. But the more I know the more I dont know. And now Im questioning my very existence. Mr Anderson is becoming Neo, and just like him im on the floor purging. The red pill has been swallowed but were do I go from here? Can I survive with out Lola? will I turn back to drugs? The urge is still there to get high. What is my own way? Celibacy? Chad-sexaddict? Women are trash or a necessary evil? Meningful relationships with men are not plentyful but a lot more helpful, but will I be betrayed by my peers again? Can I trust angry men on a website? What is Life on my own way? Seriously, wtf is going on!? The veil is gone from my eyes, but i cant comprehend the truth. please help, brothers.&nbsp;<br><br>Right now Im on the other side of Europe, working as a fitness instructor on the merit of my military days. Im fit, get a lot of attention by women that have hit the wall, but the 20 something completley ignore me (since im 31, a ddinosaur in their eyes). Did i hit the wall? I love extreme sports as the addict I am, ive turned to adrenaline. Snowboarding, surfing, freediving, skateboardning. I still use the occational joint to calm my nerves and inflamation of over traning and under resting. Ive tried men, but yeah no. Dick is not as good as pussy. Im definitely straight, even tho i do like a good three way, devil's or otherwise. I love computer games as they are a way of escapism and Lola has never objected. She prefers me sitting on the comp than on a slope down junky lane. Can MGTOW be my new way of life? Also I dont want children since i can barely take care of my self and kids scream and eat money. plus they smell.

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    Re: Reluctant to go my own way

    Quote Originally Posted by calberic View Post
    Hi

    My name is Calberic and Im going my own way. First things first; relationships with women. I have had the same schoolyard crush as every idiot going thru puberty, with constant boners and a fetish for anything that gave me attention. In my highschool years I grew out of my shell and was given the roll of Chad. I've had a lot of casual relationships and one night stands. In my early 20's I join the armed forces as a Marine for the Swedish Royal Navy.

    After three years I made Sargent and was raped by my peers for being the smallest guy in the unit. I hated men after that. The camaraderie was out the window and everyone dies alone. I started to use a lot of drugs and still using sex and women as a form of addiction.

    One day I met an Angel. Her name is Lola (it really isnt but for the sake of the intro and respect for her I wont name her). I found her in one of my haze nights. She is innocent and pure, I was blue pilled and enamored. After a few months of comunication back and forth she offered to pay for my debts and give me a place to rent, and with a cherry on top she wanted to fuck my brains out. She is the nurturing type. Ofc I sayd yes and moved. Big city guy in to a small rural town of a few thousands where everyone know your name. I quickly got a reputation as the town asshole, since I was looking for work as I was getting sober, had no way to contact my suppliers and to be honsest i didnt want to. Found a lot of diffrent low paying jobs that were very bad. Treated like shit by everyone in that small racist town. (Im brown and live in scandenavia) After 3 years with this unhappy but sober new life I couldnt take it anymore. I was now in control of my life but Lola kept cutting my wings so that i could stay. She would use my money for stuff like present to her friends (note; she earns more than 3x what i do), she kept talking me in to getting children even tho i dont want to. I had to escape.

    I love documenturies and saw one that's called "The Red Pill". I guess most of you have seen it (if not, it introduced me to the Mens Rights Movement and MGTOW). I started to hang out at MGTOW on reddit and soon was in need of more informatino, inspiration and guidence. Im reading "Beyond good and Evil" and a lot of feminist litterature to balance me out. But the more I know the more I dont know. And now Im questioning my very existence. Mr Anderson is becoming Neo, and just like him im on the floor purging. The red pill has been swallowed but were do I go from here? Can I survive with out Lola? will I turn back to drugs? The urge is still there to get high. What is my own way? Celibacy? Chad-sexaddict? Women are trash or a necessary evil? Meningful relationships with men are not plentyful but a lot more helpful, but will I be betrayed by my peers again? Can I trust angry men on a website? What is Life on my own way? Seriously, wtf is going on!? The veil is gone from my eyes, but i cant comprehend the truth. please help, brothers.

    Right now Im on the other side of Europe, working as a fitness instructor on the merit of my military days. Im fit, get a lot of attention by women that have hit the wall, but the 20 something completley ignore me (since im 31, a ddinosaur in their eyes). Did i hit the wall? I love extreme sports as the addict I am, ive turned to adrenaline. Snowboarding, surfing, freediving, skateboardning. I still use the occational joint to calm my nerves and inflamation of over traning and under resting. Ive tried men, but yeah no. Dick is not as good as pussy. Im definitely straight, even tho i do like a good three way, devil's or otherwise. I love computer games as they are a way of escapism and Lola has never objected. She prefers me sitting on the comp than on a slope down junky lane. Can MGTOW be my new way of life? Also I dont want children since i can barely take care of my self and kids scream and eat money. plus they smell.
    Hi Calberic,

    I reformatted your post using your paragraph breaks that did not work.

    You titled this thread "Reluctant to go my own way". Actually, the men who come to this site are eager and thirsty, not reluctant, to Go Their Own Way. But, from what you wrote it looks like you have newly swallowed the red pill and are figuring out where to go from here. You have asked us for help with that.

    I have some questions after reading your questions, please:

    1) You wrote that you escaped from Lola but in your last paragraph you seem to write about her in the present tense ("Lola has", "She prefers"). Am I correct in saying you have left Lola and are no longer in a relationship with her at this time?

    2) I am sorry to be confused on these next points. You say you are sober. The word "sober" is commonly associated with freedom from alcohol while being "clean" is a word associated with freedom from drugs. You may have heard of the phrase "clean and sober" when the two words are used together to signal freedom from both drugs and alcohol. Freedom, meaning zero usage.

    So, is it alcohol that you have stopped completely when you say you are sober?

    I seek this clarification because you asked if you will "turn back to drugs" but you later write that you use the occasional joint. By definition, you are not "clean" from drugs. So, do you fear returning to other drugs or to an increased marijuana use? Perhaps you mean to say that you severely curtailed your drug use but have not stopped completely? You see, it is confusing to use the word "sober" to describe people who use marijuana, even occasionally, if that is what you are saying.

    I know that you are full of uncertainty right now but can you please clear up my confusion?

    Also, are you getting assistance to help you combat your apparent dependency on alcohol and/or drugs?

    3) You wrote:

    Can I trust angry men on a website? What is Life on my own way? Seriously, wtf is going on!? The veil is gone from my eyes, but i cant comprehend the truth. please help, brothers.
    I can't speak for other websites, but we are not angry here. We are, however, fed up with women. And we show it, and we talk about it, and we educate other men that they are not alone in understanding that women are toxic to one's life and growth. We reinforce the red pill. Having said that, yes there are times when anger surfaces in a man, but being angry is not how I would describe this website at all. Does that help?

    4) You wrote:

    Im reading "Beyond good and Evil" and a lot of feminist litterature to balance me out.
    You state you have swallowed the red pill, so what do you expect to gain in your red pill education from reading "a lot" of feminist literature? They are not red pill and do not advocate for men!

    Describe this balance that you seek. Blue pill does not "balance" red pill. Feminism is the antithesis of red pill. Are you seeking to temper or lessen the red pill influence in yourself? Do you still keep hope for a girlfriend or wife? I think you need to explain this more. Or, since you want help here, I will tell you now to stop studying the feminist literature. It will only conflict with the red pill and, if you drink it in, you are only adding to your list of conflicted feelings in what you have described for us.

    Thank you.
    Last edited by Unboxxed; July 29, 2019 at 7:28 PM.
    The two most important days in your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why. - Mark Twain

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    Re: Reluctant to go my own way

    Paragraphs, calberic, paragraphs. Have you never heard of them? One giant block a print is a bitch to read.

    Live three years in a small town that doesn't like you? That's rough. Your either tougher than a boiled owl, or a glutton for punishment. Maybe both. At least you escaped, and not by much it sounds like. You could of easily ended up having kids and spending the rest a your life in that dump you hate.

    I doubt anyone gives a damn if you smoke pot, or partake in stronger drugs for that matter. We're free to pick our own poisons.
    Last edited by frog; July 29, 2019 at 9:33 PM.
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    Re: Reluctant to go my own way

    I'm curious as to if Calberic speaks English as a second language. If so, perhaps stating your primary language would be helpful. The intro as written doesn't make sense to me. Unboxxed has kindly pointed out some of the more glaring contradictions, as the intro stands now, it reads like a word salad, thrown up against a wall to see what sticks. I strongly suggest a rewrite of the intro.

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    Re: Reluctant to go my own way

    You are absolutely correct. I did use paragraphs but some bug made it like that with the "(br)". Anyhow, yeah english is obviously not my native tongue. Clean? Sober? Ok, I did a lot of speed, alkohol, LSD, MDMA, occational cocain when I could afford it. Never used injections. And always a lot LOT of weed. I forgot that i smoked a lot of cigarettes as well. Today I drink at most one beer a week and 3-5 cigarettes a month. Some months I dont touch anything. But now Im starting to drink more, losing control. I went from a 3 month streak of being clean and sober to drinking and someking joints.

    Its the confusion and fearfulness of the future that has me on the edge. I read Feminist litterature, not to balance the red pill but to comprehend how women think. Their point of view and perspectives. I was raised in a feminist household, marched every 8th of march, international working womens day, attended rallies, poetry slams and so on. But I grew out of it as seeing my male friends in pain. Either in substance use or in complete denial of how their SO's are controlling their life and making them their pets.

    I still havent broken everything of in the conventional sense with Lola. We dont live together, I made sure that she know that I will never father a child, we dont have joint accounts or debts. But we still talk a few days a week. And since i have no need to be with women sexually as of now, she still has hope for me to return. I guess I still cling to that as a lifeline if I go to the deep end of what addiction is. In a sense im using her and her feelings for me, but so does she with me. That is why Im reluctant. I truly do want to go my own way, but since I have so little control of where I go next in my professional life (season is almost over and I dont know where Im going). In a few weeks maybe even days I will be given the option to do another season somewere else and make very little cash, or go back to Sweden and make a LOT more, but with her very much in the picture.

    I know that its ultimately my choice, but I know Im missing parts of the puzzle and I can tell you guys have a lot of experience and wisdom.

    P.S. Yeah, 3 years in that town had me in a deep hole, depressed, fat, no libido, angry, regretful, but clean and ambitious.

    M

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    Re: Reluctant to go my own way

    Quote Originally Posted by calberic View Post
    You are absolutely correct. I did use paragraphs but some bug made it like that with the "(br)". Anyhow, yeah english is obviously not my native tongue. Clean? Sober? Ok, I did a lot of speed, alkohol, LSD, MDMA, occational cocain when I could afford it. Never used injections. And always a lot LOT of weed. I forgot that i smoked a lot of cigarettes as well. Today I drink at most one beer a week and 3-5 cigarettes a month. Some months I dont touch anything. But now Im starting to drink more, losing control. I went from a 3 month streak of being clean and sober to drinking and someking joints.

    Its the confusion and fearfulness of the future that has me on the edge. I read Feminist litterature, not to balance the red pill but to comprehend how women think. Their point of view and perspectives. I was raised in a feminist household, marched every 8th of march, international working womens day, attended rallies, poetry slams and so on. But I grew out of it as seeing my male friends in pain. Either in substance use or in complete denial of how their SO's are controlling their life and making them their pets.

    I still havent broken everything of in the conventional sense with Lola. We dont live together, I made sure that she know that I will never father a child, we dont have joint accounts or debts. But we still talk a few days a week. And since i have no need to be with women sexually as of now, she still has hope for me to return. I guess I still cling to that as a lifeline if I go to the deep end of what addiction is. In a sense im using her and her feelings for me, but so does she with me. That is why Im reluctant. I truly do want to go my own way, but since I have so little control of where I go next in my professional life (season is almost over and I dont know where Im going). In a few weeks maybe even days I will be given the option to do another season somewere else and make very little cash, or go back to Sweden and make a LOT more, but with her very much in the picture.

    I know that its ultimately my choice, but I know Im missing parts of the puzzle and I can tell you guys have a lot of experience and wisdom.

    P.S. Yeah, 3 years in that town had me in a deep hole, depressed, fat, no libido, angry, regretful, but clean and ambitious.

    M
    Ok, so you are not sober. Without my questions, you would have had me believe otherwise.

    You are connected to Lola, as she is to you, I would say, and you would bring her with you as you follow your career. Well, if she was just a sex toy, that would be one thing, but without sex in the picture she seems to be someone to be there for you emotionally if you somehow fail. Isn't an emotional relationship, a relationship? Yes, it is.

    You say "as of now, she has no hope for me to return" which means later it could change. Anyway, you have never left her, especially when you say you will make a career move "with her very much in the picture". So, you have never left her, and you share with her an emotional interdependency.

    And so, we come back to this:

    That is why Im reluctant. I truly do want to go my own way,
    Agreed, you have not yet Gone Your Own Way. You seem to be in an intermediate place where you are seeing red pill ideas but you also embrace feminist ideas and want very much to understand how they think. Understanding their ideas from their point of view can only lead to acceptance of their point of view if you don't stop at some point? In other words, will you keep reading their literature until you agree with what you read? Why can't you resist their indoctrination? You are embracing feminism. That's what that looks like.

    However, in your defense, many people who are seeking freedom from drugs and alcohol in their life are most sensitive to receiving only the best truth from the world, where ever it is, so it would not surprise me that you would seek what feminists say while simultaneously seeking what the red pill says, not wanting to be sucked too far and too fast into either camp without being very sure of what to believe or which way to go, fearful of who is trying to deceive you if they are not acting in your best interests. When I went sober, I decided that I trusted nobody anymore and that EVERYBODY had to prove at each step that they were not full of shit!

    If what I described above is you, I get it.

    But I grew out of it as seeing my male friends in pain.
    No, you didn't grow out of all of your feminist activities! How can you say that when you also indicate you are still quite invested in feminism?

    If you were red pill, you would say fuck that, and you'd have let Lola go emotionally so that she can no longer influence your path, like girlfriends and wives do.
    The two most important days in your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why. - Mark Twain

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    Senior Member Joetech's Avatar
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    Re: Reluctant to go my own way

    Just remember that as a single, fit guy, you are a target for women with an agenda. You should be glad the 20 year olds ignore you. I hope you've gotten your vasectomy.
    "Don't follow in my footsteps. I stepped in something."

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    Re: Reluctant to go my own way

    Well said, Joetech, but in reality any guy is a target for women with an agenda.

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    Re: Reluctant to go my own way

    Post #6 by Unboxxed sums up Calberic's situation rather well in my opinion. Lurkers, if you are unsure about this entire "Red Pill thing" feel free to ask questions in the Opposing Views section. I believe that is an appropriate use of that section of this forum. Trying to pass off a Purple Pill value system as Red Pill won't fly around here. Calberic seems much more purple pilled than red pilled to me.

  10. #10
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    Re: Reluctant to go my own way

    Quote Originally Posted by ABigSiameseCat View Post
    Post #6 by Unboxxed sums up Calberic's situation rather well in my opinion. Lurkers, if you are unsure about this entire "Red Pill thing" feel free to ask questions in the Opposing Views section. I believe that is an appropriate use of that section of this forum. Trying to pass off a Purple Pill value system as Red Pill won't fly around here. Calberic seems much more purple pilled than red pilled to me.
    What you said. Lately, there have been a few registrants who bring the red pill excitement but not the red pill commitment and I have to shake out what's going on. Like they are on the verge of change but not quite, and they want to talk to us about it.

    Maybe I should check into if we can change the title of the Opposing Views sub-forum to be Nonmember Questions and Opposing Views so allies won't think they can't post there, if that's a factor.

    Let's see if the OP here responds further.
    The two most important days in your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why. - Mark Twain

    The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.
    - Henry David Thoreau

    There are 10 types of people in the world - those who understand binary, and those who don't.

    Suitable for bookmarking: www.fakehatecrimes.org and www.breitbart.com/tag/hate-crime-hoax and register-her.net

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    Re: Reluctant to go my own way

    I second the idea of changing the "Opposing Views" section title to "NonMember Questions and Opposing Views". I doubt anyone would be confused by that and it might reduce the number of new posters who are attempting to join the forum just to ask questions.

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    Re: Reluctant to go my own way

    If these are newly minted red pillers it's no wonder they seem a bit purple still. Give them time. After all, the world we're in isn't changing anytime soon.
    "Don't follow in my footsteps. I stepped in something."

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    Re: Reluctant to go my own way

    I'm old enough in years, but young enough to MGTOW to understand that not everybody will get the "CLUE" fast trac.

    Guys going this way I will give a bit of latitude if they are slow to respond to truth....hells bells it took me two long term marriages to see the LIGHT!!

    But Pop always did say I was a nice guy but a bit frigging slow at times,,, LOL!


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    Re: Reluctant to go my own way

    Calberic....do not be afraid to ask us for directions or help ..bro! This is a team effort.

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    Re: Reluctant to go my own way

    From what I have read, this would be MGTOW seems genuine, his words seem heartfelt.
    But I would have to second Unboxxed.

    The poster seems like he is just here to learn more, and this is fine, but has only seen the very shallow level of MGTOW = 'woman can have negative characteristics and shitty behaviour'. If you grow up in the modern world which is highly highly gynocentric and also coming from Sweden where the state religion is SJW-ism, then I would have to congratulate him on this realisation alone.

    It took me years and years to figure out that most women weren't the best thing since sliced bread.

    HOWEVER.
    This is the very very beginning of MGTOW.

    To be steeped into the MGTOW mentality, you need to go further in the direction of understanding that primarily, at least in the modern world (especially the modern western world), woman are (by choice/NOT BY NATURE) morally corrupt.

    They choose to behave in morally corrupt ways to get ahead in life AT THE EXPENSE OF MEN.

    You also begin to realise that really and truly, for all intents and purposes that most women, most of the time are, (again BY CHOICE) the antagonists of men. You then realise the only way to live with any sense of integrity in this modern world is to have the rule of thumb that you will not engage with women at all, unless she provides a net benefit to the relationship.

    That doesn't mean you don't go out, date, try to flirt with women and just generally be social with them.
    And MGTOW isn't about hating this or that woman, it is about raising your (accurate) suspicions about women to the level of consciousness so you don't get duped by them as much as you used to.

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    Re: Reluctant to go my own way

    Quote Originally Posted by Unboxxed View Post
    What you said. Lately, there have been a few registrants who bring the red pill excitement but not the red pill commitment and I have to shake out what's going on. Like they are on the verge of change but not quite, and they want to talk to us about it.

    Maybe I should check into if we can change the title of the Opposing Views sub-forum to be Nonmember Questions and Opposing Views so allies won't think they can't post there, if that's a factor.

    Let's see if the OP here responds further.
    I sent a PM to calberic asking if he wants to comment further here.
    The two most important days in your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why. - Mark Twain

    The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.
    - Henry David Thoreau

    There are 10 types of people in the world - those who understand binary, and those who don't.

    Suitable for bookmarking: www.fakehatecrimes.org and www.breitbart.com/tag/hate-crime-hoax and register-her.net

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    Re: Reluctant to go my own way

    Ok, never heard back from calberic. Closed his account for purple-pillness, after careful discussion.
    The two most important days in your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why. - Mark Twain

    The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.
    - Henry David Thoreau

    There are 10 types of people in the world - those who understand binary, and those who don't.

    Suitable for bookmarking: www.fakehatecrimes.org and www.breitbart.com/tag/hate-crime-hoax and register-her.net


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