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  1. #1
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    Red pill soul, blue pill life

    I'm hoping this is the right forum for me and I'm not wasting everyone's time. I'm married and it's been a 17 year mistake.

    I'm 48, had VERY promiscuous early years, sleeping with more than 30 women, and thought I'd never take the ultimate servitude (marriage). My early girlfriends were mostly just that (not a relationship). 3 were serious and the 4th....well the 4th serious relationship turned into the 9th circle of Hell.

    I'm not sure how much detail is too much, but:
    Wife is 54. I have 2 stepson's, 26 & 30. The 26 year old still lives with us (again) and it's added to the misery. He pisses in bottles, cups, and cans, smokes and everything becomes an ashtray, breaks shit and never feels the need to make anything right, and SHE just looks the other way. Drives me out of my fucking mind. He did this shit when he was a kid and I'd assumed she'd teach him how to be a decent human being. How wrong I was.
    She pulls a lot of the same shit. Treats our house like a dumpster and I'm ready to burn it and start over. We haven't had sex in 3 years and prior to that, less than 3 times a year. That's my doing. I've lost every shred of respect for her and hers, and there's no way I'm going to get closer, making her think everything is ok. It's not and between the manipulation, white trash living, disrespect, ambivalence, and typical female shit, I'm done with her and every woman. It's just not worth it! Masturbating is underrated.
    I thought a long time before joining this site. I'm a very forgiving person and have fractured my soul and shit on my own self respect to try to make this work. About 6 months ago, I came to the conclusion that it was time to get myself back. It's a painfully slow process and being mired in this situation will make it worse. I heard about MGTOW on the news, but of course it was negative press. After thinking about it for awhile, it made a positive impression. There's a valid reason for this site and the people on it. I'm hoping to find people who may be in the same situation and get some perspective. Maybe I can help others. One indomitable fact, we do NOT need women.
    I don't have any children of my own and have mixed feelings about it. If this isn't the place for me, let me know and I'll graciously look elsewhere.

    Thanks for reading. It may sound like a rant, but it's not. For 5+ years it's been a rant, but now it's just an apt, unvarnished description of the dumpster fire that is marriage.

  2. #2
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    Re: Red pill soul, blue pill life

    Quote Originally Posted by Sarj View Post
    I'm hoping this is the right forum for me and I'm not wasting everyone's time. I'm married and it's been a 17 year mistake.

    I'm 48, had VERY promiscuous early years, sleeping with more than 30 women, and thought I'd never take the ultimate servitude (marriage). My early girlfriends were mostly just that (not a relationship). 3 were serious and the 4th....well the 4th serious relationship turned into the 9th circle of Hell.

    I'm not sure how much detail is too much, but:
    Wife is 54. I have 2 stepson's, 26 & 30. The 26 year old still lives with us (again) and it's added to the misery. He pisses in bottles, cups, and cans, smokes and everything becomes an ashtray, breaks shit and never feels the need to make anything right, and SHE just looks the other way. Drives me out of my fucking mind. He did this shit when he was a kid and I'd assumed she'd teach him how to be a decent human being. How wrong I was.
    She pulls a lot of the same shit. Treats our house like a dumpster and I'm ready to burn it and start over. We haven't had sex in 3 years and prior to that, less than 3 times a year. That's my doing. I've lost every shred of respect for her and hers, and there's no way I'm going to get closer, making her think everything is ok. It's not and between the manipulation, white trash living, disrespect, ambivalence, and typical female shit, I'm done with her and every woman. It's just not worth it! Masturbating is underrated.
    I thought a long time before joining this site. I'm a very forgiving person and have fractured my soul and shit on my own self respect to try to make this work. About 6 months ago, I came to the conclusion that it was time to get myself back. It's a painfully slow process and being mired in this situation will make it worse. I heard about MGTOW on the news, but of course it was negative press. After thinking about it for awhile, it made a positive impression. There's a valid reason for this site and the people on it. I'm hoping to find people who may be in the same situation and get some perspective. Maybe I can help others. One indomitable fact, we do NOT need women.
    I don't have any children of my own and have mixed feelings about it. If this isn't the place for me, let me know and I'll graciously look elsewhere.

    Thanks for reading. It may sound like a rant, but it's not. For 5+ years it's been a rant, but now it's just an apt, unvarnished description of the dumpster fire that is marriage.
    Hi Sarj.

    Wow, I feel bad for you. No, that is not too much detail as it explains right when you are with things.

    We do have a few members here who are married. As you say, red pill (stuck) in a blue pill life. Now I know why you signed yourself "Unhappily ever after".

    I'm done with her and every woman. It's just not worth it!
    In saying that, you've answered a major criteria for membership here. We do not advocate for emotional relationships with women.

    About 6 months ago, I came to the conclusion that it was time to get myself back.
    Good for you! Who here cannot get behind that idea?

    I'm hoping to find people who may be in the same situation and get some perspective.
    By saying "the same situation", I assume you mean "married and hating it"? Only a few here are married and they may not be active on this site right now. However, members here will support you in your red pill journey. Some will do it through humor, some will be practical and serious. Like anything else, the more you participate (which can include just reading), the more you get out of it. Your questions provide something to which members can respond. The rest of us will comment on whatever you have written.

    I'm going to start off by asking a question that occurred to me when reading your Intro, and it may be a tough one but please let me ask it. Or, maybe it was just the way you wrote it:

    He did this shit when he was a kid and I'd assumed she'd teach him how to be a decent human being.
    During the 17 years you've been married, you have left it entirely on your wife to provide discipline?

    You might also tell us how able you are at this time to divorce.

    (P.S. You are still under moderation and members need to know this to expect a possible delay in seeing your replies.)
    The two most important days in your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why. - Mark Twain

    The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.
    - Henry David Thoreau

    There are 10 types of people in the world - those who understand binary, and those who don't.

    Suitable for bookmarking: www.fakehatecrimes.org and www.breitbart.com/tag/hate-crime-hoax and register-her.net

  3. #3
    Senior Member mgtower's Avatar
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    Re: Red pill soul, blue pill life

    When are you gonna vanish? Yesterday isn't soon enough! You need an exit plan, and be prepared for leaching after separation. I don't know your situation, but if you were the bread winner then you're likely on the hook for something. The toxic bullshit you're enduring serves as a poster child to why we say never make any legal or emotional commitments with these parasites! Just don't! Life is BETTER WITHOUT THEM!

  4. #4
    Super Moderator Mr Wombat's Avatar
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    Re: Red pill soul, blue pill life

    Quote Originally Posted by Sarj View Post
    The 26 year old still lives with us (again) and it's added to the misery. He pisses in bottles, cups, and cans, smokes and everything becomes an ashtray, breaks shit and never feels the need to make anything right, and SHE just looks the other way.
    And there is nothing, absolutely nothing you can do about it other than pull the lever and divorce.

    Unless, of course, this stepson is smoking something that's illegal where you are. In that case, getting him the fuck out of your house for a stretch is not only the simplest thing in the world, it's also your civic duty.

    Just sayin'.

    Anyway. You're thinking there's no point divorcing, because you'll lose the house. But you don't, in a meaningful sense, have a house now. You'll have to sign over half your income. But you are doing that now. Run the numbers. There's plenty of men who are shocked at how much money they have after divorce. Suddenly they are overflowing with loose cash that they never had before.

    No-one gives a damn about you but you. That's what life is like when you're a man. So do what it takes to make your life better. Think. Assess the costs, risks, and rewards. And act.

    Main thing is: don't argue, don't explain, don't issue ultimata, don't give any warning. Just get a lawyer and file. Get some good advice, here and elsewhere. Do not try to hide your assets: it's very, very illegal. Absolutely do not leave the house. No matter how hellish the wife makes it for you. Get your ducks in a row and hit the nuke button. There's very little reason not to.

  5. #5
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    Re: Red pill soul, blue pill life

    The quick responses are appreciated. Early in the kid's life, I tried to be an example and disciplinarian but it always ended up with a screaming match between the woman and myself. After a few years of it, I came to the conclusion that it just wasn't worth it. I never spanked the kid, though he definitely needed it.

    Then I figured to just set examples; working, picking up after myself (and she and he) to show how things are supposed to be. That just made them both lazier.

    There's some extenuating circumstances that prevent me from leaving the house, though last year I did go "on vacation" for 45 days. It was glorious. Just me and the dog, back in upper Michigan, fishing and camping, living like I was a kid again, not a woman in sight, and it was the most peace and tranquility I've experienced since before getting laid the first time. Let this be a cautionary tale to everyone who hasn't married!! I'm planning on going again in April but these brief interludes of sanity will never be enough.

    I'm so angry, bitter, and resentful, it's difficult to articulate just how much hate I have for women and "hate" is being used in the definition of which it's intended; a rarely used, very potent descriptor.

    Just 10 minutes ago, the kid comes downstairs and leaves for work.... leaving me to take his dog out (which has been holding his bladder for 12 hours). Unfucking believable.

    Thanks for accepting my request to join. As we get more acquainted, I'll share more details as to why I'm well and truly fucked. For now it'll be a lot of reading and some questions about extrication.

    There's absolutely no question as to why we (men) die earlier, have an obscene suicide rate, and treat ourselves as disposable. Enough!

  6. #6
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    Re: Red pill soul, blue pill life

    Apologies. I responded at the bottom of the thread instead of directly to you. Me trying to be the disciplinarian ended up causing screaming matches between myself and the bitch. They were constant and unproductive, so I told her she needed to do it, or he'd end up either in jail or dead.

    Fast forward to 2016. He got hooked on heroin, stole only my things and sold em. Ended up overdosing but lived. Moved out for a few years, then asked to move back in a few months ago. He's clean and in my idiotic optimism, I thought maybe the few years away made him grow up. NOPE! He's made no effort to replace $20,000 worth of tools, guns, and personal things like the memorabilia and personal effects my dad (deceased) brought back from the Vietnam war. Apparently his mother doesn't have a problem with that either.

    I'm locked in at the moment. After 26 years of brutal HVAC field work my body failed. I can't work but am still making all of the household payments (401k, savings, now gone). I pay the house payment, utilities, garbage, etc out of my income, which leaves very little at the end of the month, yet haven't a fucking clue where her money goes (she still works).

    Before anyone thinks or assumes I'm some welfare leech, my first job was at 12 (1983) and I didn't stop working until 2018 (35 years) and I get no government assistance. I worked myself crippled and for what? A life I can't (at the moment) escape and to provide for unappreciative, manipulating, deceptive, trash.

    My own perceived gallantry is now out in the bright sunshine as falling for the perfect societal scam. I'm the guy who fell for the proverbial Nigerian princess. Isn't that really what it is, in a nutshell? All women are Nigerian princesses, trolling for suckers who think the romanticism of white picket fences is alive and well. I fell for it during a time when conventional relationships were still advertised as the right path to happiness, during a time when the internet was still in it's infancy, and information was not at your fingertips.

    That's my excuse.

  7. #7
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    Re: Red pill soul, blue pill life

    Like my hero Toolate says, this forum is not a contest to see who's suffered most. Still, our new friend here has definitely been run through the mill. He deserves to be here as much as any of us, far as I'm concerned.

    As Mr. Wombat says, get out as soon as you can. I don't know how you've put up with it as long as you have. Being on your own would be a hundred times better than what you got now.
    Every day I make the world a little bit worse.

  8. #8
    Senior Member mgtower's Avatar
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    Re: Red pill soul, blue pill life

    She's working, that's good for you when it comes to divorcing, you need to smoke that shit show! Sooner the better! There's no future there, only the past, why repeat the suffering of yesterday with all that incorrigible, dysfunctional, and disrespectful behavior?

    I wouldn't last 2.5 seconds!

    I live a feast of gluttony on freedom! Your vacations are my daily life!

  9. #9
    Super Moderator Mr Wombat's Avatar
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    Re: Red pill soul, blue pill life

    Quote Originally Posted by Sarj View Post
    I'm locked in at the moment. After 26 years of brutal HVAC field work my body failed. I can't work but am still making all of the household payments (401k, savings, now gone). I pay the house payment, utilities, garbage, etc out of my income, which leaves very little at the end of the month, yet haven't a fucking clue where her money goes (she still works).
    Holy shit! Really? You are no longer working, for legit medical reasons, and she is?

    See a lawyer. You may very well be entitled to alimony. See a lawyer. Absolutely do not move out of the house. Do not move out of your home. Do not make a home elsewhere and live there, leaving the wife and stepkid to live in your house uncontested.

    Alimony, man. Revenge just doesn't get any sweeter or more righteous.

    *edit*

    Hang on - you spent your retirement savings? Obvious question: does *she* have retirement savings? I mean, where does all her money go? Doe she have a little nest-egg she hasn't told you about? Get your half.
    Last edited by Mr Wombat; January 16, 2020 at 9:24 AM.

  10. #10
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    Re: Red pill soul, blue pill life

    Yes it's for legit medical reasons. If I go through another surgery, it'll be for a 4 level spinal fusion, both anterior and posterior and I won't be able to tie my own shoes. With the consensus of more than 1 neurosurgeon, it will become more fusions, until most of my back is immobile.

    Yes she has a very small nest egg. I've recently begun opening some of her mail. There's about $10k and a savings account with $2500. As far as I can tell, she's got the car payment, incidentals (cigs, gas, etc), and a few credit cards she's paying on, about $1000 a month out of $4500 gross.

    My previous posts weren't supposed to be a pissing contest to show how bad my suffering is, as we've all had our special brand of hell, or we wouldn't be here. After reading a lot of other posts and intros, I just wanted to provide enough background to make it crystal clear what camp I'm in and why. There's nothing and will be nothing purple about the rest of my life.

    Do I move everything I care about to storage?
    Do I file for divorce as soon as I have the $ or wait until I can identify all assets and get other ducks in a row?
    It's my first and only marriage and haven't a clue about divorce. She's already shown a vindictive streak and it's going to get very messy, but I do have a little leverage. In our State, there's no statute of limitations on felony theft, and her son could go away for a long time. It's a shit thing to even have to consider, but that's where we are.

  11. #11
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    Re: Red pill soul, blue pill life

    Quote Originally Posted by Mr Wombat View Post
    Holy shit! Really? You are no longer working, for legit medical reasons, and she is?

    See a lawyer. You may very well be entitled to alimony. See a lawyer. Absolutely do not move out of the house. Do not move out of your home. Do not make a home elsewhere and live there, leaving the wife and stepkid to live in your house uncontested.

    Alimony, man. Revenge just doesn't get any sweeter or more righteous.

    *edit*

    Hang on - you spent your retirement savings? Obvious question: does *she* have retirement savings? I mean, where does all her money go? Doe she have a little nest-egg she hasn't told you about? Get your half.
    What he said.

  12. #12
    Senior Member mgtower's Avatar
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    Re: Red pill soul, blue pill life

    Line up all your ducks, remove your valuables to a trusted place, then yank the the fucking rug out from under her! When you need the most they give the least! Don't forget, she can play dirty too! Get a bodycam, they're cheap, and be prepared to use it to document any bad behavior that may be twisted, contorted, and used against YOU! You're at war weather you know it or not! PLAY TO WIN! She seems to have a narcissistic streak in her, be prepared for the sociopath ruthlessness that accompanies that character defect personality disorder. They can resort to soullessness vengeance, hide the antifreeze!

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    Re: Red pill soul, blue pill life

    Like Tower says, both your wife and her son are going to play dirty when they figure out what's going on. They'll likely try to steal or destroy anything handy. I wouldn't worry about everyday stuff, but don't give them a chance at anything that means anything to you. They wont hold back.

    The most important thing for you to do is get your prep work done without wifey getting suspicious. It wont be easy, but since they see you as a doormat, it might work. Keep playing dumb and be really sneaky.

    If we had a minimum suffering requirement for joining, I'd be banned. My women problems were a joke compared to most of us. But that don't mean it didn't hurt. You got a bad situation alright, but if you poke around here awhile you'll find the occasional slob who had it worse. Nobody thinks your sniveling.


    Again, these two boat anchors are going to get really nasty when they find their meal tickets leaving. Scum that they are, I wouldn't put anything past them. Oh well, the thought of them living without you warms my black heart.
    Every day I make the world a little bit worse.

  14. #14
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    Re: Red pill soul, blue pill life

    "The thought of them living without you warms my black heart"
    😂I really needed that! Thank you!

  15. #15
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    Re: Red pill soul, blue pill life

    Having gone thru a nasty divorce myself, I second most of the comments. I’d see an attorney before doing anything. Some things may be OK to do where I live but not where you live. The last thing you want to do is make some move or do something that back fires on you later. Divorce laws are different every where. My biggest divorce law difference was where I live you are either married or divorced. There is no in between or legally separated. This helped me because I caught her with another man 2 months after I moved out. Now, if I wasn’t talking with an attorney I might not have known that. My attorney encouraged me to hire the private investigator that caught her. Also, where I live adultery automatically revokes any alimony. So, alimony was off the table. Very fortunate for me because where I live alimony is for life. I know men that have been divorced for 40 years that still pay alimony. Point being is check the laws with an attorney where you live.

  16. #16
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    Re: Red pill soul, blue pill life

    I’ve never been married so I can’t really give divorce advice. That being said I have to agree with the advice of the other members here. Secretly remove those things from your home that are truly important to you that can go unnoticed, but most importantly hire a good divorce lawyer, preferably one unknown to her (I don’t like to assume but considering your stepson’s history it’s a pretty safe bet she knows a few.)

    With regards disciplining stepkids I get you. My biggest mistake involving relationships was with a woman with two of her own kids. When I tried to discipline them, even mildly, I got the ‘They’re not your kids, they’re mine’ line, yet when I mentioned their antics to her it was ‘Well why didn’t you deal with it.’ I could never win.

    These kids were still very young and I was only there a couple of years but I can only imagine that if things had progressed my story would be much like your own.

    And as for your stepson I also get that you don’t want to make his life any worse than it is by involving the law, so here’s my only advice: kick any emotionality you may have for that piece of shit out the window; he robbed you blind and is now living off you and your emotions while all the time wifey is probably spewing shit like: ‘he’s not a bad person, you just don’t understand his problems.’ I’ve seen a similar scenario play out in my own family. It did not have a happy ending.

    Welcome Sarj.
    "Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

    All we can do is keep ourselves from all those who don't deserve it. – Dave Matthes

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    Re: Red pill soul, blue pill life

    Sad truth is Sarj, even if you wife was a saint, you'd still have to leave. Someone once showed us a website about blended family's and the trouble their stepchildren caused. Wish I could remember it's name. What a train wreck. These people claimed to be happy with their second spouses, but the kids did whatever it took to ruin any chance their parents had. Their problem was the same as yours, one parent always siding with their dirtbag kid. People tried, but with only one parent on board there efforts were doomed to failure. These kids were not just misbehaving, like your stepson, they are stone assholes. Adults acting this way go to jail or get their ass's kicked, but kids get a pass.

    You have also forgot what real freedom is. You wouldn't have to steal money from me or Tower to get your ass evicted. Pissing in a bottle and leaving it around would be more than enough. I know, it just happened and a guys stuck with a woman's kids, but that don't make it right. If I'd a left a bottle a piss laying around my old man would a poured it on my head.
    Last edited by frog; January 17, 2020 at 6:52 PM.
    Every day I make the world a little bit worse.

  18. #18
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    Re: Red pill soul, blue pill life

    'hes not a bad person, you just don't understand his problems'
    You couldn't be more accurate if you were standing in my living room.

  19. #19
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    Re: Red pill soul, blue pill life

    Everything you said is spot on. There's a short story about his childhood that should've been my breaking point, but wasn't.

    He shit in a coffee can (in his bedroom) and his dog got ahold of it, spreading it around the floor. The kid tried to clean it up with the vacuum cleaner. Seriously, that's a true indication of serious mental problems. He was 16.

    Now it's one of those stories that's half amusing and half insane. Long ago I gave up on having a decent house.

  20. #20
    Senior Member Hoppes#9's Avatar
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    Re: Red pill soul, blue pill life

    Sarj I can sympathize with you. My X had 2 grown kids (late teen's early 20's) that would seek refuge at my house anytime their Dad got on their ass about getting a job and growing up. They would whine and cry and dear Mom would say yes come stay here......all without asking me what I thought. Or If she did speak with me about it ..it was turned into a shaming me attitude for not wanting to help the "poor little" worthless fuks.
    Now I was setting up a mostly "Off Grid" Homestead that I had sunk every dime I had into..and was moving along with a very limited income.. All the while my X sat on here ever expanding ass jaw-jacking on the internet or phone and not working. Or even helping me for that matter. Only time the house would get cleaned was when I went on a tirade about the filth and would start throwing her shit to a burn pile. So with out fail, at the very least once a year, one of the two would come crash at my place for a month or so with no money and no desire to do anything to ever earn their keep or show gratitude to me for putting up with and feeding their sorry asses....Each time I was made to look like the bully and some kind of mean tyrant.....

    I can't give you much advice on divorce here....since most States have different laws. But I can agree with most of what has been said so far. Just remember this.....take your time and think this out. Slowly hide assets if possible. Liquidate any items you currently can do without and squirrel away the cash somehow ... Do not leave your home unless things look like they will become confrontational or violent....use you best judgement there!!.

    Mine situation did become violent and I had to walk away. My State is and Equal Distribution No-Fault Divorce State ..so all property is divided down the middle. My Land and Home were to be sold and divided or bought out by the other party... I lost 10 years worth of blood sweat and tears....and about 170K $ sunk into the property or that time period. She wanted the house .......so We had a contract drawn for her to buy my half......that is still an ongoing purchase done by monthly installments with a "Default" clause built in for my protection.

    It amazes me now to see her sorry ass keep a job for something she wants.....but never would to help me out. I am older than you and it took me many years to understand and see what RED PILL and GMOW was all about...
    Had I only known then...as the old saying goes ! At any rate.. we here are all the same yet different with different stories and situations But we all sorta been there done that. Hopefully you will find peace soon my friend....and hope this forum and this bunch of #1 guys here can be of help and inspiration to you...

    And BTW,...welcome!


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