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Thread: My Intro

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    My Intro

    Well here goes, my (fair warning) very long intro is below. I want to say that based on my own personal experiences, many of which I talk about below, and the things I've learned from this and other MGTOW forums, I consider myself very lucky. Approaching 40, I have my health, financial freedom and am honestly better at so many aspects of life (fitness, health, career, intellectual, artistic) than when I was in my 20s and doing all of the embarassing shit you'll read about below. I never got married, never had a kid, and really have had it easy compared to many of you guys and others whom I know. But I have had my share of shit with women and I share below how I came to where I am at today.

    1. Relationship history
    (experience with women, red pills, what about it made you made you aware; note- you don't HAVE to have had relationships but you can speak of your interactions with women) -- it turns out trolls don't have good, realistic stories of this ilk.
    I think three factors really defined my relationship and learning about the true nature of women; first, I grew up within a severely broken home (unfortunately, they didnt split) and my mom was essentially bat shit crazy from as far back as I can remember. Second, I was the youngest of several kids, all boys, and I observed several divorces and struggles with women that shaped my older brothers lives and shaped my thinking. Finally, I spent several years in the US military, stationed overseas, in environments with very few women who had all the power in the sex/relationship game. If anything ever exposed the true nature of women to me, it was these. I will take these in order and walk through my experiences.
    As I said, my mom was crazy. Growing up, there was no pretenses by the time I came along -- we all just accepted it. My parents immigrated from Asia in their youth, and I dont know if the culture shock was too much or she was just crazy all along, but it was bad. Lots of violence, screaming, rage, substance abuse on all sides. I never once had an honest or sane conversation with her and thats not exaggerating. Not about school, homework, how to dress, how to shit, how to court women, friends, nothing. This is just how it was. Early on, my brothers basically took care of me and we all sort of blamed her for all the problems we had. However, as I got to about high school, I began to think about the role my dad was playing - why was he staying in this relationship, why did he put up with this abuse and craziness, why was he so weak and could not hold her accountable, etc. Decades later I would come to the conclusion that he was a blue pill mangina simp and not much of a man. I also came to the conclusion that her worst female traits were allowed to run amok with no accountability, combined with psychosis. As it was, my dad's health failing, he never much put up a fight, gave her all the money and let her gamble and do crazy shit with it while we basically starved. And while I didnt realize it at the time, this did have a lasting effect on my acceptance of the 'standard' societal view of marriage and nuclear family. I remember in particular an incident in junior high where the teacher had everyone write how many kids they wanted on a piece of paper (so you couldnt cheat) and then line up from most to least. I was the only person who put 0 in the whole class.

    By the time high school came along, I had my act together despite the craziness at home. I have always been above avg intelligence but very disciplined, which is going to lead to decent success in most areas. And I wanted to get the hell away from home, so from the point I knew grades would hit college transcripts I was hell bent on doing well. I had also picked up a copy of Arnold's bodybuilding encyclopedia and started training. But I was totally awkward with women, not to mention shy, so I had no experience to talk of. I definitely wasnt in the in crowd and basically didnt even know what to do with them. So ironically my first experience was with the girl I considered to be the hottest in our school. 10th grade we used to have these physics exams once a week and I was always the most prepared so would finish with 20 mins to spare and go to a back room where this chick had somehow got a self directed study class. She was dating a senior, but we would talk about everything from college applications to life in general. Here I had my first kiss, which seems innocent enough (it didnt go any further) but it was more some of the things she'd say that resonated with me even at the time. I remember her telling me, with glee on her face, how another guy wanted to date her and over the summer told her he was going to kill himself if he couldnt see her. She seemed so happy about that. Of course that bitchiness at the time made her seem so much more unattainable and thus I wanted her even more. She also told me how she smoked weed every single day to 'get to a higher level'. So anyways it didnt go much further but this was my first experience. But I was falling into the nice guy / orbiter / non threatening /listener type role which would come to define my interactions with women in my 20s. I would also gravitate to the hardest to obtain chick and be as nice as possible and try to demonstrate all what I thought were good qualities (smart, driving, fit, nice, etc.).

    After high school I left for the military. I wanted the free education and to get away from home and I also admired the service and discipline lifestyle; it really suited me on multiple fronts. But, I will tell you and other veterans here will probably corroborate - in these environments with very few women, you can learn a lot about the true nature of women. At 20 I finally lost my virginity with a girl I took to a military formal. She was hot (though in retrospect not as much as others told me and I accepted she was) and had basically been passed around the barracks. A guy I knew who was sent home for disciplinary issues was dating her, but said he was ok with me taking her to the formal while he was gone. A bunch of us rented a home for the weekend following the formal (off base) and went up there and that Friday I hooked up with this girl. No condom, but I didnt consider the consequences (in retrospect I was lucky, to quote Tony Montana "her womb is so polluted" she probably couldnt have gotten pregnant lol). This girl was constantly talking about drugs. I was (and mostly still am) pretty strait edge on drugs. But she was all over the place. Also, hooking up with her gave me great status; a lot of the other guys were jealous that I got her as she was considered a bit of a princess (she was not in the military but hung around us a lot while she was in college). Naturally, the drugs combined with the high ego lead to never ending drama. The night after I hooked up with her she suddenly turned cold on me. We were all partying in the house and she just started being a complete bitch. Looking back, I see that she wanted a way to go to the formal and her bf wasnt there so I was her ticket; otherwise she had no interest in me. Despite any status I had, i wouldnt have considered myself someone a somewhat hot 20-yr old was clamoring for. So that very next night she hooked up with another guy in the house essentially right in front of me while I was sitting in the main room partying. A fight ensued and this was my first lesson in women's lack of accountability and personal responsibility. She didnt care that she caused the fight and never once said sorry or anything even approaching that. A few days later she called me and said 'we shouldnt hold grudges cause thats immature' and that was the last I ever talked to her.

    The next few years I really struggled to connect with women and was somewhat jaded; even at that age I was pretty leery of their bullshit. Then, I got stationed overseas for a couple years. Now the veterans here will know the funnel I am describing. The locals dont really like the US troops unless its for money (either prostitute or marry & bring home) and even then their distaste is palpable. So you are confined to the women on base if you aren't going to do that, and at that time I was all noble and would swear I'd never pay for pussy. Now, on base you have to remember you have officer and enlisted who cant fraternize, I had just done ROTC and was an officer so the population of available women is reduced further. And some of them are taken and some are ugly. You see where this is going -- basically the hottest available young female on the whole base was in my unit working beside me and what followed may be the worst ever case of simping, beta orbiting, friendzone and one itis if you wanna call it that, etc. I lost 2 years of my life obsessed with this girl, call her A, and never got even a kiss. I spent a lot of money on everything from drinks to presents to you name it. Mind you, I was one of many orbiters she had. We used to call them A parties as it would be her, a few of her bitchy friends and just a massive amount of guys. There were already many when I met her and I worked like hell to pass them all and become the best friend. Slowly by slowly one guy or another couldnt take it and either asked her out or put moves on her. She then labeled that person a creep and they were ostracized from the group. This happen time and time again, and slowly I started to think wait what's the constant here? But I was too far gone to put it together then. I was 23 . Eventually she found her high status guy; naturally he was not in our group at all and never hung out with any of us. They started dating and got engaged. I pined to be her friend to the bitter end. Even then I remember thinking to myself this is absurd (intellectually) but not willing to give in (ego/emotion). Finally, I even came back to the states months later to attend her wedding to this guy. It was insane. The whole weekend she treated him like shit, mocked him in the rehearsal. The morning after the wedding I had to pick up the two of them (naturally, I get to chauffer like a good cuck) and she was treating him like shit in the car the whole time. They divorced within 6 months. She moved on, and interestingly she didnt age well at all -- she was always lazy, at like shit and never exercised. Even in the time Id known her she put on 20 lbs which a friend told me but I wouldnt listen; she just had the genetics to put it in the right place...for a bit (that has its limits).

    Amazingly, when I got back to base another girl who looked very similar to this one (in fact, I would say hotter) arrived. And I started the cycle over again. But this girl was more of an overt ho; she would just jump on any guy, had no standards etc. I managed to hook up with her within a few weeks. But by then she had slept with the whole base and everyone knew it and no one wanted her. Also, by this time I had decided to leave the military and go to grad school (I saw the writing on the wall of how the feminist degeneracy was infiltrating both the military and society; I decided fuck this I want to make my money while I can).

    Grad school was busy to say the least with a career transition and recruiting for positions post school and all that. But here I met probably the girl I'd say I came closest to marrying in my life. She was honestly at that time I thought the most attractive woman I had ever met. But I was no longer in the military and despite all the flaws of those girls now I had to adjust to something new - the career woman. This women was so aloof with everyone that literally no guy would talk to her. She acted like her shit didnt stink in ways I cant describe. Entitled prissy, absolute prima donna. This is already long enough, so I wont go into all the specifics, but here again I was the 'nice guy' putting up with it. Ironically, when I was in the military I had met one girl who told me 'you're probably that guy in high school every girl said I'd like to marry some day but not date right now', and funny enough after high school I had multiple family members tell me they ran into chicks in the mall or wherever who said yeah I liked him throughout high school. So this archetype of trying to be the nice, grounded guy to the narcissistic woman who was the center of attention just kept dogging me, nothing would wake me up. But ultimately the wake up call came when this girl cheated on me after 6 months of dating. Honestly, it was out of the blue (pill...). I thought we would marry. This was not the type of girl to cheat. She had a pristine reputation as a clean piece of pussy, career woman, etc. She was not really wanting to be labeled a slut. But what happened next really stunned me; when I found out and confronted her, she basically said to me while we were alone, you need to let this go and just tell people we broke up and never accuse or mention me of cheating or I am going to wreck your reputation here, and I am thought of highly and you're just another guy here so choose carefully if you want to fight me. I think at that point I knew I was done with women and relationships. I walked away from the whole thing, never said a word, because I stopped caring. I also never cared again, deep down, if a woman said something to me, pulled any kind of entitled type shit or any of that; I can honestly say that I just stopped caring about the bs of women at that point.

    That was basically the end of my 20s, and my 30s have been much kinder though have included a lot more introspection. Probably more 'down' moments, where I questioned my values, philosophies and worldview, but ultimately these have served me more than any of the chasing pussy mangina shit of the years past. Over the past say 7 years I've had some one night stands but mostly relied on paid services to manage the basic needs. I used to think that was the most sinister thing but now I see it as way more honest, open and fair than engaging in a relationship with a women.

    The closest I came to another relationship was 2 years ago when I started having sex with a lesbian chick (lol). I knew her professionally (through her work, not mine) and saw her out one day. I had known she was lesbian and had a long term partner. She started openly flirting with me and I just stopped the conversation and said what is going on I thought you are a lesbian and had a partner. She said that she is allowed to have a piece on the side to have her needs met. So I started to hook up with her. She told me that her partner had only two rules for her dalliances - no l-bombs and no blowjobs, both of which indicate it is getting more serious than basic needs. Well, within a couple weeks she was saying crazy shit to me in bed like 'knock me up' and 'put your babies in me' and also gave me a blowjob one morning. I will admit here that one of my biggest weaknesses in life is I have never had sex with a condom. I have always told girls it turns me off and I want to feel you and this and that and the inner slut is turned on and they relent. I knew now I am being really foolish and could risk everything I have. I have a decent amount of wealth and a baby would just fuck me (I would lose at least half the wealth and also would need to stay a corporate slave the rest of my life). So I ended it; that was 2 years (plus quarantine) ago and I haven't been with a woman since that wasn't paid services. Honestly that is even now much less frequent as I focus on myself more.


    2. Awareness: your previous blue pill perspectives, how you transitioned to red pill, with enough detail about what brought you to MGTOW.
    As I said, some seeds were planted early in my life. I have several older brothers who went through several divorces between them. For this reason I was always very cautious. I also started making good money in my mid 20s after the military and my career took off in my 30s; this caution shielded me from a lot of shit I've seen thru friends, relatives and forums now. I would say that my big awakening probably started around the age of 30. I have always been really into working out and then I started getting into youtube fitness channels, adopting more powerlifting vs bodybuilding and also various diets etc. I started watching a guy named Luimarco (colloquially known as "the L.U.I.") who was more bodybuilding gossip than actually training advice, but a funny diversion. One day he announced mgtow and dumped his girlfriend of 7 years and that really opened the flood gates for me. That was 7 years ago and I went through a few different schools of thought. At first I was mgtow, then I thought about doing pua to get revenge on women (this lasted less than a week lol, and I never did even try to put it into practice as the whole thing seemed so absurd to me). Then I was considering finding a woman of God, etc (roosh reborn mentality etc). I understand where some of those guys think, but I came back fully to mgtow and will never leave. What happened two years ago with that lesbo chick was the last wake up call, but frankly I was already there.

    Also as a funny story, I did take a sabbatical a couple years back and the amount of resent I got from women and married men was astronomical. People hated that I had the freedom to take a year off (I was actually considering just retiring but decided to come back for a few more bites at the apple). I remember this girl who worked for me started guessing my net worth and everyone on the team did this for months; even my boss. I asked him why he cared (he made more than what I did and had a house worth 2 mil) and he told me the only person he knows who's more irresponsible than him with money is his wife and every penny they earned is spent. I know tons of people like this who earn 7 figures or high 6 figures and are basically 'lifestyle broke'. The only ones I know who've overcome it are the men who got divorced and were lucky enough to rebuild, or the never married men. All the married folk and all the never married women have shit finances unless they are really at the top and making 8 figures or above lol.

    3. Who you are
    : tell us a little bit of who you are. What you like, what you do, etc.
    So I am really into finance and economics and investing. As I said I considered retirement a few years back but came back; at this point anything more is gravy and just enhancing the potential quality of life I could have in early retirement. And my job pays well and gives me a lot of flexibility especially in corona which I have loved the quarantine and WFH frankly. I have a lot of thoughts on investing, portfolio construction and wealth accumulation and would be happy to share that in non-mgtow topics.

    Fitness is a huge part of my life. But in recent years I am trying to be less obsessed. Be someone who lifts, not defined as a lifter, is my mentality now; I do a powerbuilding type routine mixed with cardio.

    I live in NYC (nyc and london are pretty much the only two places I can do what I do for the money I get). It seems like many in this forum arent in the big cities anymore; I am happy to talk about how things have become. What a difference from even a decade ago. The degeneracy is insane. The other day I saw women just walking down the street shirtless, most women are tattooed up. Smoking seems to be back in vogue as well. That said, I love the freedom and fast pace the city gives me; access to all my hobbies like gym, running, museums, library, transportation hub, etc. I definitely wont be here in 10 years; for now I feel like I am in Rome at the end, why not observe it a bit.

    I have a lot of interesting thoughts and questions about where our society is headed, what really is the future of this thing. I am sure others here do too and would be interested in discourse on that. I am not optimistic.

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    Re: My Intro

    Quote Originally Posted by TheBrownRecluse View Post
    Well here goes, my (fair warning) very long intro is below. I want to say that based on my own personal experiences, many of which I talk about below, and the things I've learned from this and other MGTOW forums, I consider myself very lucky. Approaching 40, I have my health, financial freedom and am honestly better at so many aspects of life (fitness, health, career, intellectual, artistic) than when I was in my 20s and doing all of the embarassing shit you'll read about below. I never got married, never had a kid, and really have had it easy compared to many of you guys and others whom I know. But I have had my share of shit with women and I share below how I came to where I am at today.

    1. Relationship history
    (experience with women, red pills, what about it made you made you aware; note- you don't HAVE to have had relationships but you can speak of your interactions with women) -- it turns out trolls don't have good, realistic stories of this ilk.
    I think three factors really defined my relationship and learning about the true nature of women; first, I grew up within a severely broken home (unfortunately, they didnt split) and my mom was essentially bat shit crazy from as far back as I can remember. Second, I was the youngest of several kids, all boys, and I observed several divorces and struggles with women that shaped my older brothers lives and shaped my thinking. Finally, I spent several years in the US military, stationed overseas, in environments with very few women who had all the power in the sex/relationship game. If anything ever exposed the true nature of women to me, it was these. I will take these in order and walk through my experiences.
    As I said, my mom was crazy. Growing up, there was no pretenses by the time I came along -- we all just accepted it. My parents immigrated from Asia in their youth, and I dont know if the culture shock was too much or she was just crazy all along, but it was bad. Lots of violence, screaming, rage, substance abuse on all sides. I never once had an honest or sane conversation with her and thats not exaggerating. Not about school, homework, how to dress, how to shit, how to court women, friends, nothing. This is just how it was. Early on, my brothers basically took care of me and we all sort of blamed her for all the problems we had. However, as I got to about high school, I began to think about the role my dad was playing - why was he staying in this relationship, why did he put up with this abuse and craziness, why was he so weak and could not hold her accountable, etc. Decades later I would come to the conclusion that he was a blue pill mangina simp and not much of a man. I also came to the conclusion that her worst female traits were allowed to run amok with no accountability, combined with psychosis. As it was, my dad's health failing, he never much put up a fight, gave her all the money and let her gamble and do crazy shit with it while we basically starved. And while I didnt realize it at the time, this did have a lasting effect on my acceptance of the 'standard' societal view of marriage and nuclear family. I remember in particular an incident in junior high where the teacher had everyone write how many kids they wanted on a piece of paper (so you couldnt cheat) and then line up from most to least. I was the only person who put 0 in the whole class.

    By the time high school came along, I had my act together despite the craziness at home. I have always been above avg intelligence but very disciplined, which is going to lead to decent success in most areas. And I wanted to get the hell away from home, so from the point I knew grades would hit college transcripts I was hell bent on doing well. I had also picked up a copy of Arnold's bodybuilding encyclopedia and started training. But I was totally awkward with women, not to mention shy, so I had no experience to talk of. I definitely wasnt in the in crowd and basically didnt even know what to do with them. So ironically my first experience was with the girl I considered to be the hottest in our school. 10th grade we used to have these physics exams once a week and I was always the most prepared so would finish with 20 mins to spare and go to a back room where this chick had somehow got a self directed study class. She was dating a senior, but we would talk about everything from college applications to life in general. Here I had my first kiss, which seems innocent enough (it didnt go any further) but it was more some of the things she'd say that resonated with me even at the time. I remember her telling me, with glee on her face, how another guy wanted to date her and over the summer told her he was going to kill himself if he couldnt see her. She seemed so happy about that. Of course that bitchiness at the time made her seem so much more unattainable and thus I wanted her even more. She also told me how she smoked weed every single day to 'get to a higher level'. So anyways it didnt go much further but this was my first experience. But I was falling into the nice guy / orbiter / non threatening /listener type role which would come to define my interactions with women in my 20s. I would also gravitate to the hardest to obtain chick and be as nice as possible and try to demonstrate all what I thought were good qualities (smart, driving, fit, nice, etc.).

    After high school I left for the military. I wanted the free education and to get away from home and I also admired the service and discipline lifestyle; it really suited me on multiple fronts. But, I will tell you and other veterans here will probably corroborate - in these environments with very few women, you can learn a lot about the true nature of women. At 20 I finally lost my virginity with a girl I took to a military formal. She was hot (though in retrospect not as much as others told me and I accepted she was) and had basically been passed around the barracks. A guy I knew who was sent home for disciplinary issues was dating her, but said he was ok with me taking her to the formal while he was gone. A bunch of us rented a home for the weekend following the formal (off base) and went up there and that Friday I hooked up with this girl. No condom, but I didnt consider the consequences (in retrospect I was lucky, to quote Tony Montana "her womb is so polluted" she probably couldnt have gotten pregnant lol). This girl was constantly talking about drugs. I was (and mostly still am) pretty strait edge on drugs. But she was all over the place. Also, hooking up with her gave me great status; a lot of the other guys were jealous that I got her as she was considered a bit of a princess (she was not in the military but hung around us a lot while she was in college). Naturally, the drugs combined with the high ego lead to never ending drama. The night after I hooked up with her she suddenly turned cold on me. We were all partying in the house and she just started being a complete bitch. Looking back, I see that she wanted a way to go to the formal and her bf wasnt there so I was her ticket; otherwise she had no interest in me. Despite any status I had, i wouldnt have considered myself someone a somewhat hot 20-yr old was clamoring for. So that very next night she hooked up with another guy in the house essentially right in front of me while I was sitting in the main room partying. A fight ensued and this was my first lesson in women's lack of accountability and personal responsibility. She didnt care that she caused the fight and never once said sorry or anything even approaching that. A few days later she called me and said 'we shouldnt hold grudges cause thats immature' and that was the last I ever talked to her.

    The next few years I really struggled to connect with women and was somewhat jaded; even at that age I was pretty leery of their bullshit. Then, I got stationed overseas for a couple years. Now the veterans here will know the funnel I am describing. The locals dont really like the US troops unless its for money (either prostitute or marry & bring home) and even then their distaste is palpable. So you are confined to the women on base if you aren't going to do that, and at that time I was all noble and would swear I'd never pay for pussy. Now, on base you have to remember you have officer and enlisted who cant fraternize, I had just done ROTC and was an officer so the population of available women is reduced further. And some of them are taken and some are ugly. You see where this is going -- basically the hottest available young female on the whole base was in my unit working beside me and what followed may be the worst ever case of simping, beta orbiting, friendzone and one itis if you wanna call it that, etc. I lost 2 years of my life obsessed with this girl, call her A, and never got even a kiss. I spent a lot of money on everything from drinks to presents to you name it. Mind you, I was one of many orbiters she had. We used to call them A parties as it would be her, a few of her bitchy friends and just a massive amount of guys. There were already many when I met her and I worked like hell to pass them all and become the best friend. Slowly by slowly one guy or another couldnt take it and either asked her out or put moves on her. She then labeled that person a creep and they were ostracized from the group. This happen time and time again, and slowly I started to think wait what's the constant here? But I was too far gone to put it together then. I was 23 . Eventually she found her high status guy; naturally he was not in our group at all and never hung out with any of us. They started dating and got engaged. I pined to be her friend to the bitter end. Even then I remember thinking to myself this is absurd (intellectually) but not willing to give in (ego/emotion). Finally, I even came back to the states months later to attend her wedding to this guy. It was insane. The whole weekend she treated him like shit, mocked him in the rehearsal. The morning after the wedding I had to pick up the two of them (naturally, I get to chauffer like a good cuck) and she was treating him like shit in the car the whole time. They divorced within 6 months. She moved on, and interestingly she didnt age well at all -- she was always lazy, at like shit and never exercised. Even in the time Id known her she put on 20 lbs which a friend told me but I wouldnt listen; she just had the genetics to put it in the right place...for a bit (that has its limits).

    Amazingly, when I got back to base another girl who looked very similar to this one (in fact, I would say hotter) arrived. And I started the cycle over again. But this girl was more of an overt ho; she would just jump on any guy, had no standards etc. I managed to hook up with her within a few weeks. But by then she had slept with the whole base and everyone knew it and no one wanted her. Also, by this time I had decided to leave the military and go to grad school (I saw the writing on the wall of how the feminist degeneracy was infiltrating both the military and society; I decided fuck this I want to make my money while I can).

    Grad school was busy to say the least with a career transition and recruiting for positions post school and all that. But here I met probably the girl I'd say I came closest to marrying in my life. She was honestly at that time I thought the most attractive woman I had ever met. But I was no longer in the military and despite all the flaws of those girls now I had to adjust to something new - the career woman. This women was so aloof with everyone that literally no guy would talk to her. She acted like her shit didnt stink in ways I cant describe. Entitled prissy, absolute prima donna. This is already long enough, so I wont go into all the specifics, but here again I was the 'nice guy' putting up with it. Ironically, when I was in the military I had met one girl who told me 'you're probably that guy in high school every girl said I'd like to marry some day but not date right now', and funny enough after high school I had multiple family members tell me they ran into chicks in the mall or wherever who said yeah I liked him throughout high school. So this archetype of trying to be the nice, grounded guy to the narcissistic woman who was the center of attention just kept dogging me, nothing would wake me up. But ultimately the wake up call came when this girl cheated on me after 6 months of dating. Honestly, it was out of the blue (pill...). I thought we would marry. This was not the type of girl to cheat. She had a pristine reputation as a clean piece of pussy, career woman, etc. She was not really wanting to be labeled a slut. But what happened next really stunned me; when I found out and confronted her, she basically said to me while we were alone, you need to let this go and just tell people we broke up and never accuse or mention me of cheating or I am going to wreck your reputation here, and I am thought of highly and you're just another guy here so choose carefully if you want to fight me. I think at that point I knew I was done with women and relationships. I walked away from the whole thing, never said a word, because I stopped caring. I also never cared again, deep down, if a woman said something to me, pulled any kind of entitled type shit or any of that; I can honestly say that I just stopped caring about the bs of women at that point.

    That was basically the end of my 20s, and my 30s have been much kinder though have included a lot more introspection. Probably more 'down' moments, where I questioned my values, philosophies and worldview, but ultimately these have served me more than any of the chasing pussy mangina shit of the years past. Over the past say 7 years I've had some one night stands but mostly relied on paid services to manage the basic needs. I used to think that was the most sinister thing but now I see it as way more honest, open and fair than engaging in a relationship with a women.

    The closest I came to another relationship was 2 years ago when I started having sex with a lesbian chick (lol). I knew her professionally (through her work, not mine) and saw her out one day. I had known she was lesbian and had a long term partner. She started openly flirting with me and I just stopped the conversation and said what is going on I thought you are a lesbian and had a partner. She said that she is allowed to have a piece on the side to have her needs met. So I started to hook up with her. She told me that her partner had only two rules for her dalliances - no l-bombs and no blowjobs, both of which indicate it is getting more serious than basic needs. Well, within a couple weeks she was saying crazy shit to me in bed like 'knock me up' and 'put your babies in me' and also gave me a blowjob one morning. I will admit here that one of my biggest weaknesses in life is I have never had sex with a condom. I have always told girls it turns me off and I want to feel you and this and that and the inner slut is turned on and they relent. I knew now I am being really foolish and could risk everything I have. I have a decent amount of wealth and a baby would just fuck me (I would lose at least half the wealth and also would need to stay a corporate slave the rest of my life). So I ended it; that was 2 years (plus quarantine) ago and I haven't been with a woman since that wasn't paid services. Honestly that is even now much less frequent as I focus on myself more.


    2. Awareness: your previous blue pill perspectives, how you transitioned to red pill, with enough detail about what brought you to MGTOW.
    As I said, some seeds were planted early in my life. I have several older brothers who went through several divorces between them. For this reason I was always very cautious. I also started making good money in my mid 20s after the military and my career took off in my 30s; this caution shielded me from a lot of shit I've seen thru friends, relatives and forums now. I would say that my big awakening probably started around the age of 30. I have always been really into working out and then I started getting into youtube fitness channels, adopting more powerlifting vs bodybuilding and also various diets etc. I started watching a guy named Luimarco (colloquially known as "the L.U.I.") who was more bodybuilding gossip than actually training advice, but a funny diversion. One day he announced mgtow and dumped his girlfriend of 7 years and that really opened the flood gates for me. That was 7 years ago and I went through a few different schools of thought. At first I was mgtow, then I thought about doing pua to get revenge on women (this lasted less than a week lol, and I never did even try to put it into practice as the whole thing seemed so absurd to me). Then I was considering finding a woman of God, etc (roosh reborn mentality etc). I understand where some of those guys think, but I came back fully to mgtow and will never leave. What happened two years ago with that lesbo chick was the last wake up call, but frankly I was already there.

    Also as a funny story, I did take a sabbatical a couple years back and the amount of resent I got from women and married men was astronomical. People hated that I had the freedom to take a year off (I was actually considering just retiring but decided to come back for a few more bites at the apple). I remember this girl who worked for me started guessing my net worth and everyone on the team did this for months; even my boss. I asked him why he cared (he made more than what I did and had a house worth 2 mil) and he told me the only person he knows who's more irresponsible than him with money is his wife and every penny they earned is spent. I know tons of people like this who earn 7 figures or high 6 figures and are basically 'lifestyle broke'. The only ones I know who've overcome it are the men who got divorced and were lucky enough to rebuild, or the never married men. All the married folk and all the never married women have shit finances unless they are really at the top and making 8 figures or above lol.

    3. Who you are
    : tell us a little bit of who you are. What you like, what you do, etc.
    So I am really into finance and economics and investing. As I said I considered retirement a few years back but came back; at this point anything more is gravy and just enhancing the potential quality of life I could have in early retirement. And my job pays well and gives me a lot of flexibility especially in corona which I have loved the quarantine and WFH frankly. I have a lot of thoughts on investing, portfolio construction and wealth accumulation and would be happy to share that in non-mgtow topics.

    Fitness is a huge part of my life. But in recent years I am trying to be less obsessed. Be someone who lifts, not defined as a lifter, is my mentality now; I do a powerbuilding type routine mixed with cardio.

    I live in NYC (nyc and london are pretty much the only two places I can do what I do for the money I get). It seems like many in this forum arent in the big cities anymore; I am happy to talk about how things have become. What a difference from even a decade ago. The degeneracy is insane. The other day I saw women just walking down the street shirtless, most women are tattooed up. Smoking seems to be back in vogue as well. That said, I love the freedom and fast pace the city gives me; access to all my hobbies like gym, running, museums, library, transportation hub, etc. I definitely wont be here in 10 years; for now I feel like I am in Rome at the end, why not observe it a bit.

    I have a lot of interesting thoughts and questions about where our society is headed, what really is the future of this thing. I am sure others here do too and would be interested in discourse on that. I am not optimistic.
    Hi TheBrownRecluse,

    What a coincidence, only yesterday I was explaining to my nieces about the brown recluse spider. Ha, I hope you are not as potentially deadly.

    I appreciate the candor in your stories. A few places, I wanted to yell, "No NO! Stop! Go back!"

    I think the lesbian and her girlfriend were looking for a baby. And, hey, a side benefit of a well-to-do baby-daddy. She clearly wanted you to knock her up.

    Good Intro. I have moved you out of moderation and you are now free to post on the site.

    Welcome!

    Members may still ask you questions in this Intro thread. This is normal so please return to this thread and answer any that appear.

    Say, I have a question. I'm curious:

    I was the only person who put 0 in the whole class.
    What was the point of this teacher's exercise, I wonder? What would the teacher do/say after all you students were lined up? Was any comment made specifically about you and your '0'?
    The two most important days in your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why. - Mark Twain

    The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.
    - Henry David Thoreau

    There are 10 types of people in the world - those who understand binary, and those who don't.

    Suitable for bookmarking: www.fakehatecrimes.org and www.breitbart.com/tag/hate-crime-hoax

  3. #3
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    Re: My Intro

    Hi Unboxxed,

    Thank you for the quick review. Glad I passed! On to being a contributing member of his forum.

    Regarding that teacher's exercise, I don't remember particularly what the teacher did, it was so long ago. I do remember that, surprisingly, there wasn't any ostracizing or mocking of the kids on either end of the spectrum, which is probably why I view it as one of those random memories from childhood that isn't a negative but just a sign I was different. I wonder what would happen if a teacher did such an exercise today; maybe they'd be fired and deemed a sexist. Also, in the era of Greta Thunberg, I wonder if a lot more kids would say zero to fit in.

  4. #4
    Senior Member mgtower's Avatar
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    Re: My Intro

    Whoever said being a zero has anything to do with being a looser has their head shoved up their ass!

    Anything but a zero regarding the modern paradigm of woman vs. man falls in negative numbers, why go past zero in the wrong direction?

    Welcome to the site!
    It's 1939 allover again, and we're the ones being assigned gold stars!

  5. #5
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    Re: My Intro

    Man did you get lucky riding bareback all that time.

    Welcome to the site.
    "Those who would give up essential Liberty, to purchase a little temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety." - Benjamin Franklin


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