Thread: Hello everyone - my story

Hi guys, so this is my introduction then.

Up to when I was 25 I was a virgin, have never even kissed a girl. So I met this girl, 21 at the time, and completely fell in love. Turns out later that she was also a Virgin despite her being quite pretty. Not a stunner but solidly pretty, cute, charming etc. After 6 weeks she has to move out of her dorm as the term ends so she moves in my one bed student apartment with me. She is still in her bachelors degree, I'm in my masters. She soon is about to graduate and ponders about to do a master in my country as there are no student fees. I tell her about 50k that I will get from my grandfather soon which she could use as a loan to do her masters. She declines after some thinking time.

I decide to move to her country during uni. After one year into the relationship she falls pregnant. She tells me that she missed a pill. She is working low paid jobs at that point, I am still studying. We decide to have the child as we do not need to worry about the money. She misscarries and we decide to try again and she misscarries again. We decide that we do want a child and she delivers our son in week 25 +5 (for all who do not know, this is an extreme premature birth with health impact risks for the child being very high during the icu stay). I finish my degree during that time and we move with a 100% healthy child to her country. The time fearing for our son's life was very tough for both of us. We stood by each others side like a solid unit and it was a great bonding experience for our relationship. Clearly this was true love. Our son leaves the hospital with cero health issues. We move back to her country me promising her I will find a job close to her parents. Turns out there are no jobs for me there and we have to move to the other end of the country, 400 miles away from her parents with who we were living for a short period. She does not want to go at all costs but gives in and we move.

The job there is decent but not super highly paid. It has great prospects though (me getting promotions quickly and also becoming director with a significant share holding at some point). The 50k from my grandfather haven't been paid out so my father lends us money to cover our lifestyle and because he thinks we must need it with our son. She buys, buys and buys stuff for our son. My salary goes on her account as I had not opened one yet. At this point it turns out that she has severe money issues that she has not previously told me about. Several thousand pounds (15-20k) in consumption debts and 21k in student loan debts and I ( by asking my dad) have to cover her first court counter letter that she can't afford to pay at that point. I flip out as all her lies unveile.

From that point the arguments start. She holds against me that I dragged her away from her family, I hold her accountable for her spending and financial issues. Her parents get involved siding with her. My parents know nothing about her debts and her spending but see that we are financially struggling. They say that my wife needs to start her career now as our son is two years old. Her opinion is that she needs to stay with him at home and gets confirmation from her parents. Due to that we start to struggle more and more financially. I decide to marry her as I hink this is what I have to do with a child and thinking things will get better once being married.

I was fairly confident in the relationship, stood up for myself when we argued but inside I was still the insecure 23 year old introvert fearing I would never find anyone if I leave her, plus obviously the moral aspect with our son. I was just too nice. I propose to her and she is over the moon. We decide to have a nice wedding in a little castle that we once visited on a weekend. She says she would be happy with a wedding just at the registration office but we decide against it. She plans the weeding and goes completely berserk. Does not stop spending and basically blows what was remaining of the 50k. I tell her to stop now as we are running out of money but she doesn't. We argue to the point that I need to tell my parents everything what's going on. My father tells us not to get married. We need to sort our finances out first. We still get married and as my father sees the type of wedding (very fancy location, food, cake, the whole thing) is not happy and is in a bad mood during the whole day knowing that he basically financed this by giving us the 12k plus knowing that the 50k are gone as I told him and were are deeply in debt. Her friends ask what's wrong with him. She makes out that he is just a grumpy man. He even leaves the scene without saying goodnight to anyone. I was really upset but he and my mother were the only guests that truly knew what was going on.

We fly to Spain in our honeymoon. Nice hotel, nice food, no sex and lots of arguments. On one evening I was pulled on stage being blinded by the spotlights so I could not see anything, staring into the crowd not being able to recognise anyone. Turns out that my wife caught me on tape checking out another woman during this. Later she even got confirmation from her mom as she is watching the tape. I thought I was in a movie which, well, I kind of was. We leave back home and the next 2 1/2 years are summed up by crazy spending (yolo attitude) and making more debts which are kept behind my back. Not only are the 50k gone, the 12k that my father borrowed us are still owed to him plus she keeps making more debts. She opens a childminding business that would have gone bankrupt several times if I would not have bailed her out of her mess. She makes a decent income but her incapability of managing her accounts and private spending turn that businesses venture into a financial nightmare. She keeps claiming that she saved us as with just one income we could not survive. I Have to mention that from a £1050/m apartment we had to move to a £1400/m house so she could childmind in the firste place. At some point I thought it was getting better, she saved for a car, I could put 5k aside (at that point we had strictly separate finances). Then she bought the car for 5k,turned out she only had 3k, and the rest was coming from an overdraft. The following three months my savings were burnt because she did not have any cash to run her business and for more car expenses. Her spending never stopped.

She even made debts in my name signing with my signature on the credit cards behind my back, so basically identity fraud. This was two months ago and was the straw that broke the camels back. I obviously found out but she doesn't know that. Before all that we tried counselling which did not work. It is all my fault and I had to change which I did but the points I brought up she denied, neglected and did not work on them at all.

Over the years she started to turn my son against me to the point where he throws a door stopper at my face and proudly runs back to mummy and tells her very proudly with a laugh how he just hurt his father (with four years old). I have a very good, loving and caring relationship with my son, he respects me, does what I say, loves me back and we have a lot of fun.... When my wife is not at home. As soon as she is in the house which is 95% of the time it is a nightmare. I cannot teach him my values, I cannot tell him off etc. because I am always shouting and overreacting. This is what she claims. During the door stopper incident I flip, grab our son, put him on his bed and give him a telling off that he never had before (I did not hit him, which I have never done and never will). She threatens to call the police on me. I leave the scene for my own safety.

I also got obsessed with dave Ramsey (Google if you don't know but basically he is a money management guru) but she does not care about it saying it is all nonsense. In 7 years we sat down once to make a budget and she followed it not even for a week. After having found out the identity fraud I decided to get a divorce as I'd rather get out now after 2 1/2 years than in 20 years with still no assets but an inheritance that my parents worked their back sides off for so she can take half of it. I will have a legal consultation with a lawyer on Tuesday. She does not know that. She wrote me a goodbye letter that I accidentally found that basically states that it is all my fault and she is not to blame for anything. I overheard her skyping with a friend telling her what a mean and nasty person I am (and yes, I was that from time to time) and that she's going to leave me and that I will see what I am losing.

She headed off to her parents with me telling her she can't because we are in lock down. She went anyway, I did not care and told her this, she was fuming. After 30min she came back and asked me if this is it. I told her yes, this is the end of our relationship. She withheld a cry and left. After another 30min she came storming back into the house telling me she will stay, she will pay the rent from now on and that she already talked to the landlord and that I have to move out.

Basically from now on she is a strong woman and she is the boss. Since we are in lock down she kept lying to me that she has no money but she continuously purchased stuff. Decoration, tools, toys, garden stuff etc. Things that you just do not need when you are in lockdown with money worries. Apparently her father is coming tomorrow as it's her birthday.

I hope you made it to the end. Cheers for reading
Hiaslayer

Originally Posted by Hiaslayer

Hi guys, so this is my introduction then.

Up to when I was 25 I was a virgin, have never even kissed a girl. So I met this girl, 21 at the time, and completely fell in love. Turns out later that she was also a Virgin despite her being quite pretty. Not a stunner but solidly pretty, cute, charming etc. After 6 weeks she has to move out of her dorm as the term ends so she moves in my one bed student apartment with me. She is still in her bachelors degree, I'm in my masters. She soon is about to graduate and ponders about to do a master in my country as there are no student fees. I tell her about 50k that I will get from my grandfather soon which she could use as a loan to do her masters. She declines after some thinking time.

I decide to move to her country during uni. After one year into the relationship she falls pregnant. She tells me that she missed a pill. She is working low paid jobs at that point, I am still studying. We decide to have the child as we do not need to worry about the money. She misscarries and we decide to try again and she misscarries again. We decide that we do want a child and she delivers our son in week 25 +5 (for all who do not know, this is an extreme premature birth with health impact risks for the child being very high during the icu stay). I finish my degree during that time and we move with a 100% healthy child to her country. The time fearing for our son's life was very tough for both of us. We stood by each others side like a solid unit and it was a great bonding experience for our relationship. Clearly this was true love. Our son leaves the hospital with cero health issues. We move back to her country me promising her I will find a job close to her parents. Turns out there are no jobs for me there and we have to move to the other end of the country, 400 miles away from her parents with who we were living for a short period. She does not want to go at all costs but gives in and we move.

The job there is decent but not super highly paid. It has great prospects though (me getting promotions quickly and also becoming director with a significant share holding at some point). The 50k from my grandfather haven't been paid out so my father lends us money to cover our lifestyle and because he thinks we must need it with our son. She buys, buys and buys stuff for our son. My salary goes on her account as I had not opened one yet. At this point it turns out that she has severe money issues that she has not previously told me about. Several thousand pounds (15-20k) in consumption debts and 21k in student loan debts and I ( by asking my dad) have to cover her first court counter letter that she can't afford to pay at that point. I flip out as all her lies unveile.

From that point the arguments start. She holds against me that I dragged her away from her family, I hold her accountable for her spending and financial issues. Her parents get involved siding with her. My parents know nothing about her debts and her spending but see that we are financially struggling. They say that my wife needs to start her career now as our son is two years old. Her opinion is that she needs to stay with him at home and gets confirmation from her parents. Due to that we start to struggle more and more financially. I decide to marry her as I hink this is what I have to do with a child and thinking things will get better once being married.

I was fairly confident in the relationship, stood up for myself when we argued but inside I was still the insecure 23 year old introvert fearing I would never find anyone if I leave her, plus obviously the moral aspect with our son. I was just too nice. I propose to her and she is over the moon. We decide to have a nice wedding in a little castle that we once visited on a weekend. She says she would be happy with a wedding just at the registration office but we decide against it. She plans the weeding and goes completely berserk. Does not stop spending and basically blows what was remaining of the 50k. I tell her to stop now as we are running out of money but she doesn't. We argue to the point that I need to tell my parents everything what's going on. My father tells us not to get married. We need to sort our finances out first. We still get married and as my father sees the type of wedding (very fancy location, food, cake, the whole thing) is not happy and is in a bad mood during the whole day knowing that he basically financed this by giving us the 12k plus knowing that the 50k are gone as I told him and were are deeply in debt. Her friends ask what's wrong with him. She makes out that he is just a grumpy man. He even leaves the scene without saying goodnight to anyone. I was really upset but he and my mother were the only guests that truly knew what was going on.

We fly to Spain in our honeymoon. Nice hotel, nice food, no sex and lots of arguments. On one evening I was pulled on stage being blinded by the spotlights so I could not see anything, staring into the crowd not being able to recognise anyone. Turns out that my wife caught me on tape checking out another woman during this. Later she even got confirmation from her mom as she is watching the tape. I thought I was in a movie which, well, I kind of was. We leave back home and the next 2 1/2 years are summed up by crazy spending (yolo attitude) and making more debts which are kept behind my back. Not only are the 50k gone, the 12k that my father borrowed us are still owed to him plus she keeps making more debts. She opens a childminding business that would have gone bankrupt several times if I would not have bailed her out of her mess. She makes a decent income but her incapability of managing her accounts and private spending turn that businesses venture into a financial nightmare. She keeps claiming that she saved us as with just one income we could not survive. I Have to mention that from a £1050/m apartment we had to move to a £1400/m house so she could childmind in the firste place. At some point I thought it was getting better, she saved for a car, I could put 5k aside (at that point we had strictly separate finances). Then she bought the car for 5k,turned out she only had 3k, and the rest was coming from an overdraft. The following three months my savings were burnt because she did not have any cash to run her business and for more car expenses. Her spending never stopped.

She even made debts in my name signing with my signature on the credit cards behind my back, so basically identity fraud. This was two months ago and was the straw that broke the camels back. I obviously found out but she doesn't know that. Before all that we tried counselling which did not work. It is all my fault and I had to change which I did but the points I brought up she denied, neglected and did not work on them at all.

Over the years she started to turn my son against me to the point where he throws a door stopper at my face and proudly runs back to mummy and tells her very proudly with a laugh how he just hurt his father (with four years old). I have a very good, loving and caring relationship with my son, he respects me, does what I say, loves me back and we have a lot of fun.... When my wife is not at home. As soon as she is in the house which is 95% of the time it is a nightmare. I cannot teach him my values, I cannot tell him off etc. because I am always shouting and overreacting. This is what she claims. During the door stopper incident I flip, grab our son, put him on his bed and give him a telling off that he never had before (I did not hit him, which I have never done and never will). She threatens to call the police on me. I leave the scene for my own safety.

I also got obsessed with dave Ramsey (Google if you don't know but basically he is a money management guru) but she does not care about it saying it is all nonsense. In 7 years we sat down once to make a budget and she followed it not even for a week. After having found out the identity fraud I decided to get a divorce as I'd rather get out now after 2 1/2 years than in 20 years with still no assets but an inheritance that my parents worked their back sides off for so she can take half of it. I will have a legal consultation with a lawyer on Tuesday. She does not know that. She wrote me a goodbye letter that I accidentally found that basically states that it is all my fault and she is not to blame for anything. I overheard her skyping with a friend telling her what a mean and nasty person I am (and yes, I was that from time to time) and that she's going to leave me and that I will see what I am losing.

She headed off to her parents with me telling her she can't because we are in lock down. She went anyway, I did not care and told her this, she was fuming. After 30min she came back and asked me if this is it. I told her yes, this is the end of our relationship. She withheld a cry and left. After another 30min she came storming back into the house telling me she will stay, she will pay the rent from now on and that she already talked to the landlord and that I have to move out.

Basically from now on she is a strong woman and she is the boss. Since we are in lock down she kept lying to me that she has no money but she continuously purchased stuff. Decoration, tools, toys, garden stuff etc. Things that you just do not need when you are in lockdown with money worries. Apparently her father is coming tomorrow as it's her birthday.

I hope you made it to the end. Cheers for reading
Hiaslayer

Wow. So you are in the process of getting a divorce. She is a money pit.

Ok, in getting down to the business of this Intro, you've been living a blue pill life and are ending a relationship with a toxic woman. That's all I know about you at this point.

As detailed and horrible as your story is, and we appreciate the detail don't get me wrong, it omits something that we seek to hear from you. For membership here, you must be red pill. You do not indicate if you have taken the red pill. Many blue pill guys go through a divorce and remain blue pill. For all you have said, that could be you. For all I know, you will allow the possibility to enter a future relationship after this one ends. You don't say. So, you must tell us which way it is with you at this time. Have you sworn off emotional relationships with women at this point? Or is this just the end of one relationship before the start of another? Or do you even know your feelings about that, at this point in your situation?

Your replies will stay in quarantine for now which means you won't see them on the site right when you post them.

Thank you.

Hi,

I definitely do not want to enter another longterm relationship with a woman ever again. I want to build my life now hitting my primes. Spend time with my son, go to the gym, learn languages, make money, be creative, raise my son how I want to, teach him things.
I have worked like a horse to be where I am regarding my career and do not intend to share this success with a woman who then would take it all. My parents are about to make their will and inherit me and my sister quite some assets and no woman will take this hard work, my parents put in throughout their life, away from me. For what? A little bit of sex that eventually is used as a weapon against me? I don't think so.
My wife has been nothing but a burden. Yes, I loved her, I really did at the start but this went and she started to manipulate me. What is "love"? If I would have had the knowledge that I gained during the last 2-3 weeks, seven years ago, things would have developed very differently. Sometimes you have to be in the darkness to find back into the light. But thank god it is almost over even if the worst is probably up to come.

But first I have to go through this divorce.

To sum it up: I have definitely taken the red pill and will never go into a emotional relationship with a woman again.

Let me also go into a little more detail about myself. I am 32 and was always an introvert. Never really successful with the ladies. Although some girls fancied me, I could never pull the trigger. As I was getting older I felt more and more that I needed to have sex. Not because I wanted it so badly but because everyone else was having sex and it felt like society expected it from me. I met my wife and we had some great sex but my desire towards her faded after I noticed that even now, when having a girlfriend I still needed to convince her to mess around with me. I genuinely got bored from these games and started to please myself more and more. This continued after we got married.

I was always a sporty guy and during uni I started hitting the gym, lifting weights. I've been doing this ever since. I love to cook and I even bake my own sour dough bread as here in the UK you can only buy rubbish. I am German so I need my bread. I started learning Spanish two years ago and when I am fourty I want to be fluent in four to five languages. (German, English, Spanish,?).
I also started reading about the stock market and longterm investment which I want to start as well now. I play the guitar which during my relationship moved more and more in the background. Apart from my hobbies I have a four year old son with who I try to spend as much time as possible.

I hope this introduction covers all the criteria

Originally Posted by Hiaslayer

Hi,

I definitely do not want to enter another longterm relationship with a woman ever again.

To sum it up: I have definitely taken the red pill and will never go into a emotional relationship with a woman again.

That says it. Thank you.

I hope this introduction covers all the criteria

Well, there are three numbered criteria in the How To Intro sticky. You certainly have covered Point #1 quite well. Your last post about your avocations covered Point #3. What's left is Point #2 which is how you learned about MGTOW, including how did you learn about this site in particular.

We are almost there, friend.

Originally Posted by Unboxxed

We are almost there, friend.

In Germany15 years ago when the pick up scene started to emerge there was a flirt coach called Maximilian Pütz who was the pioneer in Germany when it came to how to get women. Anyway, I watched his videos back in the days but once I entered the relationship with my wife I left all this stuff behind.
After 6 years relationship this guy enters my mind again and I was wondering what he is up to these days. Turns out that he developed into a anti feminism guy who fights against this movement. He did a video about "MGTOW" (wth is that?!?!) which I watched but forgot about. Fast forward another year and due to my crumbling marriage this video enters my mind again, I rewatched it and started to do some more research and.....tadaaa here I am!
I just found the site through google. I also learned about the "Better Bachelor" and the "Coach Red Pill" youtube channel.

Since then I started watching red pill videos and just want to smack my head silly. I literally sat in my living room today shouting out loud "Fuuuu** in frustration about my stupidity and naivity and in what twisted situation this blue pill thinking has brought me.

My goal is now to learn more about how women really tick and understand that they are basically a waste of time and resources (excluding my mother....I love my mother :P)

Hi Hiaslayer,

Originally Posted by Hiaslayer

twisted situation this blue pill thinking has brought me.

Yep. Yep.


I have now moved you out of quarantine and you can post on the site. Before you might, we always ask each new member to first read the Principles. You can click on that word at the top of this page, in the black bar.

Welcome!

I smell the fine aroma of resolve. It's like I'm reading my own history but never got to the wife'n'kid episode, the episode where I blow my brains out.

Originally Posted by mgtower

I smell the fine aroma of resolve. It's like I'm reading my own history but never got to the wife'n'kid episode, the episode where I blow my brains out.

Yarr...like yourself, I saw much familiarity in that tale.

Hi guys, long time no see.

After the court child proceedings are almost finished I finally applied for divorce and waiting to get decree nisi. Hopefully this is all over in two months. Lets see what the dragon's demands will be in regards of money. I have lots of leverage against her. If it is enough to get a clean break order without alimony? I do not know but I bloody hope so.

I am still awaiting trial egarding custody of my son. At the moment I have him 2 weekends out of 3 and half of the holidays. The bitch obviously tried to alienate him from me and wanted to erase me out of his life. Abuse allegations etc. Child support payments are not that high so they do not really hurt me. As my ex unilaterally relocated but the courts did not order her back (madness) there are about 400 miles between me and my son. The driving is crazy. The only good thing is that my money doesn't land in her pocket but straight in the petrol tank of her car.

The relationship I am having with my son is better than ever although I do not see him that often.

Guys, do not get married. What did you say? It is true love? No, it is not! Wake up stupid!!!

My son is a blessing and I unbelievably love him but was it all worth it? Probably not.

No marriage, no cohabitation, no impregnation!

Originally Posted by Hiaslayer

Hi guys, long time no see.

After the court child proceedings are almost finished I finally applied for divorce and waiting to get decree nisi. Hopefully this is all over in two months. Lets see what the dragon's demands will be in regards of money. I have lots of leverage against her. If it is enough to get a clean break order without alimony? I do not know but I bloody hope so.

I am still awaiting trial egarding custody of my son. At the moment I have him 2 weekends out of 3 and half of the holidays. The bitch obviously tried to alienate him from me and wanted to erase me out of his life. Abuse allegations etc. Child support payments are not that high so they do not really hurt me. As my ex unilaterally relocated but the courts did not order her back (madness) there are about 400 miles between me and my son. The driving is crazy. The only good thing is that my money doesn't land in her pocket but straight in the petrol tank of her car.

The relationship I am having with my son is better than ever although I do not see him that often.

Guys, do not get married. What did you say? It is true love? No, it is not! Wake up stupid!!!

My son is a blessing and I unbelievably love him but was it all worth it? Probably not.

No marriage, no cohabitation, no impregnation!

It's a shame there's no wall of defiant men to tell your baby maker to pound sand when she goes out prowling for another man to devour.
At times I feel like the only functioning flipper on a broken pinball machine, what's the use of trying? But that's okay, at least my balls aren't in her purse crushed and flattened!

Welcome brother Hiaslayer,

I did read the entire intro and I'm sorry that you have to go through this stressful time. You are however a man and will make it through this.

Originally Posted by Hiaslayer

If it is enough to get a clean break order without alimony? I do not know but I bloody hope so.

There is no alimony in the UK, only child support.

Originally Posted by MrWalton

There is no alimony in the UK, only child support.

That's not quite correct. The courts prefer clean breaks (50/50) but that is not to say they will not order alimony in certain situations. Good thing is, there are no assets to divide so better now than in 20 years when she could get hold of assets, my pension and my parent's inheritance.

When I read these kind of stories, I am reminded of how naive and too good for his own good one can be dealing with women and all that for what?

I almost want to blame you for all the wrong decisions and actions regarding this woman, but when I remember my own mindset when I was your age I say to my self "hey you did much worse than this man"!